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im 14/f well like two days ago me and my brother got mugged and well there was three men and one grabbed me by my neck and tried chocking me so i kicked him in the balls when i tried to get back to my brother the guy had his knife on him and his friend was hitting him while the other guy was still trying to hold on to me...anyways my bro told me to run and i did after tht i found him coming back and he was bleeding we were both in a very bad state...and now its two days after what happened and ever since what happened when i come to try to eat this empty feeling is in my stomach and im not able to breath well and i cant eat and my stomach keeps hurting me and i start getting scared every time the dark comes or when i see or hear anything i get shocked and scared really easy my stomach really hurts me and i feel like i need to puke...is this cuz of the shock because before what happened i wasnt affraid of anything and belive me i mean nothing...and now im scared alot and i cant stand to be myself..i think there might be something wrong with me..i just need some advice or help ...thx (link)
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First, I have to tell you up front that I'm not a psychiatric professional.
Actually, FIRST I should tell you that I'm sorry that this happened to you and your brother, although I'm glad you both survived.
Anyway, having made it VERY clear that I'm not a doctor, what you're experiencing sounds to me like post-traumatic stress disorder. And certainly what you went through makes that a not-unreasonable guess. But rather than go by the guess of a non-professional on the web, you should really talk to a professional. Talk to your parents, if possible, and have them take you to a behavioral specialist for an evaluation - if they're not sure what to do, have them talk to your doctor. You can also talk to your doctor yourself, or to a teacher, or some other trusted adult.
But please do get yourself taken care of. PTSD can be treated effectively - I know. And even if it's not PTSD, after what you went through, you really need to talk to someone. Believe me, it will help.
Good luck!
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does it stub your growth or anything, if your a teenager? (link)
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Used correctly, birth-control pills do not stunt your growth ("stunt" is the word you were looking for). However, you should only use them if they've been prescribed by your doctor or OB/GYN.
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I'm feeling really low about myself because I can never seem to get a nice bf. I've been on blind dates that were disasters, and even got a new job at a store that hired 350 people to meet guys and I still havent gotten one. This is because most of the guys that work at the store are still in hs or college, and I'm nearing 30.
I know it's not me, I'm attractive, polite, funny, and sensitive. It just seems that all the guys I'm interested in just want sex, and not a permanent partnership. I also joined a church choir AND a Toastmasters, but all the men that seemed interesting were married.
My ten year hs reunion is coming up this year, and my wish is to have a nice bf to take with me. Does anyone have any ideas where I can meet some nice, AVAILABLE men? (link)
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SaturnMoonie's right. Dating sites work quite well. I met my wife through one.
I'd suggest trying two sites: one for a hobby or interest area that you really enjoy, and a more general one. Don't go with anything that charges much. Personally, I used Match.com and I was quite happy with the results.
Of course there ARE users and liars out there, and you DO need to be careful, but a dating site is a good way to really get to know someone before the whole physical issue comes up. The disadvantage is that you won't be able to assess the personal chemistry you have with someone else - there are things that can't be judged well online or over the phone - but at least you'll have a good chance to get to know someone first.
Please don't panic yourself over the reunion. If you let that push you into grabbing someone, you'll probably regret it. You'd be using them, just as much as the men who want nothing but sex want to use you.
By the way, there are a lot of women out there who are the same way - just interested in sex. It's important to be very careful: never tell anyone anything that you wouldn't tell a stranger on the street. Get a free email account (on Gmail, say) and use that exclusively for your dating site activity. Never give your real name or address or phone number until you're really sure that the other person is genuine.
When you get to the real name stage, Google that person and see what you can find. When you meet, make sure to meet in a very public place, and DON'T go anywhere private. Stay calm, and don't settle for someone who isn't right.
At your age it's easy to get panicky and grab the first tolerable man who comes down the pike. Remember that EVERYONE has some unpleasant aspects, things that they'll keep from you at first; those don't have to be deal-breakers, but you need to assess them dispassionately.
I'd suggest looking for someone who can make you laugh, and that you can MAKE laugh. If you share a similar sense of humor, you already have a lot in common.
Take your time. Be choosy. You may have to date a few different guys before you meet the right one...to be honest, you may have to date MANY different guys. But stay calm, listen to your heart, and in time you'll find the right person for you.
Good luck!
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Do you guys believe that high school sweethearts can last throughout adulthood? I've heard from many people that if they end up getting married they'll just end up miserable. Or that most end after senior year. (link)
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It's certainly possible, but there are no guarantees in life. And it really depends on the couple; each relationship is different.
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hi my name is jess im 13. well i constantly have these feelings that i wamt to die and i have no purpose for life. i play as many sports as u could think okso thats not really helping. i get really stressed easily and i cut myself once over a boy. I really need the best ways to handle it im getting really stressed and i cant enjoy myself. if theres any way i can handle it without having to talk to someone because i would sound stupid. please help
jess (link)
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First, let me give you some quick resources:
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
http://teenadvice.about.com/od/suicidedepression/
http://amasci.com/we-nerds.html
There's also a toll-free number, if you're more comfortable with that:
Youth Crisis Hotline: 1-800-448-4663
Please believe me, you won't sound stupid - you'd be amazed at how many people need therapy at one point or another. In any case, what you've described certainly sounds serious.
It's a common mistake to think that because a problem is mental, it's somehow not "real". But it IS real, as real as a broken leg. You wouldn't try to heal a broken leg on your own, would you? No, you'd go to a hospital and see a doctor. This is no different.
Remember, there are professional people out there who can help you and will ABSOLUTELY not judge you. Right now you're in pain, and you feel alone, with no one to help or talk to you. If you can get someone to help you, you'll start to feel better almost right away - because you'll be DOING something about the pain, and you'll have hope.
And the good news is that there are a lot of effective treatments for behavioral problems. The odds are excellent that you can lead a happy, normal life, as long as you can take the first step and ask for help.
Talk to your parents. If you're not comfortable with that, talk to your doctor. Or talk to any responsible adult that you trust: an adult relative, teacher, school counselor, minister, rabbi, or priest.
Please get some help. You don't have to live in pain and sadness.
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im trying to upload pics onto my myspace but my pics arent in a GIF or JPG form they're in a BMP format so how can i get my pics onto myspace? (link)
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Convert them into GIFs or JPGs. There are a number of freeware graphics programs that will do this for you.
You want to convert photographs and high-resolution images into JPGs, and relatively low-res and simplistic images (like icons) into GIFs. GIFs are far more efficient, but the image quality is poorer. On the other hand, you can make a portion of a GIF "transparent", which is good for icons and stuff like that.
Personally, I quite like IrfanView.
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I have a problem, and it's very bad. Sometimes I just want to cry and cry forver. I have a phobia of not being perfect. I need perfect grades, perfect friends, perfect face, prefect body, perfect breast, perfect family, perfect house, perfect life. I don't know what to do. I always feel so ugly, and that no one likes me. Yet I am very popular in school and have lots of friends. I go to parties every weekend... and try to live the classic Hollister & Ambercrombie California barbie. I'm pretty good at it too, except for my confidence. I'm 5'3" and weigh 103 pounds and am constantly worrying about my body. Everyday I will look in front of my mirror with nothing on and just look at my body and cry. I'm fat, no breast, no butt, my face is too big, my arms are to skinny, but nose is to big, my chinis ugly. I have a dissorder adn I don't know what to do. Sometimes I just think if i should throw up after meals... but the thing is i don't know why i should. Everybody thinks my life is great and perfect... but it's not. I'm so unhappy about everything, I hate my life sometimes i just want to die. What is your advice? Should I stick with my dream of being perfect and plan my plastic surgeries when I get older adn stick with my studies. Or shoudl O let go? Should I go to councilling, please help... I'm so confused! (link)
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I'm not a behavioral health professional, but from what you've said it sounds very much as if you need to be professionally evaluated. Talk to your parents; if you're not comfortable doing that, talk to an adult that you trust - your doctor, a teacher, guidance counselor, minister, rabbi, or adult relative.
It may feel scary, but believe me - what you're going through right now is the WORST of what you'll have to endure. You need help, and you'll feel a lot better once you get it.
The good news is that there are a number of effective treatments for behavioral problems. It may take a while, but you WILL be happy again.
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what are kenkles? everyone i know says like old fat woman have kenkles but i dont know what they are besides that they describle your ankles (link)
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It's CANKLES, not "kenkles".
It refers to the merging of calf and ankle in people (usually women) who are overweight or have an unfortunate physiognomy. Older overweight women are more likely to develop them as gravity takes its toll.
It's quite a rude word, of course.
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Could you date someone who had very different or totally contrary views to your own. For example, if you were a dedicated Democrat and they were a Republican, or if you were quite religious and they were an atheist. Would those sort of things be a dealbreaker for you or would you still want to see them?
Do you think relationships like that are doomed or are disagreements like that healthy? (link)
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It depends on the personal chemistry between the two people involved. For some couples that much of a difference would doom the relationship; for others it would just add spice. But there's no way for any of us here to know how your relationship (assuming that you're talking about yourself) will turn out.
Let's put it this way: you'll never know unless you try. Just keep your head and get out if the relationship turns sour.
Good luck!
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I am confused. I really need someone I can talk to about things, but I don't know who to turn to. My friends are great, but I just can't talk to them. My parents are great too, but I can't talk to them either. I don't know what to do. I was considering going to the school guidance counselor, but I'm afraid to. I'm sort of afraid of guidance counselors in general anyway. I really want someone to talk to about some things that go on in my head, but I am afraid to, if that makes any sense. I'm also annoyingly specific and paranoid about who I talk to. It has to be a person person. As in, someone who I can see who can be in the same room as me. Online stuff has never worked for me. And...it has to be an adult...or at least someone older than me who I look up to.
I've never trusted people before and I don't know how to now. I suppose I could always try and talk to the guidance counselor or someone like that, but I am really scared of my guidance counselor. I'm not as afraid of the other ones, but since they are all guidance counselors, I can't help being afraid of them. I also don't want to get myself admitted to a hospital and would really prefer that they didn't tell my parents. It's not like I'm doing anything terrible; I mean, I'm alive, aren't I? But I think that if I said too much most people would freak out. I guess my mind is just a little mixed up sometimes and people can't handle that. But how can I figure out what's real and what's not and all that other confusing stuff without help? I need someone to talk to but I'm afraid that bad things will happen. What do I do? (link)
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I'm not at all clear on what you feel the problem is, but you do have options. It's understandable that you're nervous around guidance counselors; I was, too. Some are good at what they do, but their primary expertise is educational and vocational guidance, and it sounds like you need an expert in behavioral issue - or, as it's commonly referred to, mental health.
You can talk to your parents about speaking to a therapist; if they're not sure what to do, you might check with your doctor. S/he should be able to give you a referral.
Depending on what sort of health insurance you have, there may also be a number on your card for you to call for referral to a behavioral specialist.
Will bad things happen? That depends. Look at it this way: if you have a behavioral issue, it's not going to go away if you ignore it. If anything, it could get worse.
A lot of people are embarrassed to admit that they have a mental issue. That's a mistake. Behavioral problems are real, as real as a broken leg, and you can't "think" them better. Nor do they mean that you're a bad person, or that you've failed somehow.
The good news is that there are a lot of effective treatment options out there, even if all you need is to talk to a therapist for a few sessions.
Right now, you're probably living through the worst of it; you're afraid, and uncertain, and you don't have someone to talk to. Talk to your parents or a doctor, get some help from an expert, and I'm sure you'll feel a lot better.
Good luck!
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ok so my bf calls me liek every day or every other day and we talk for ever but the only reason we talk for ever is becasue it is total silence i mean its not a sighn to break up i know this becasue healways calls me i try hard to think of a topic but we are still at the stage that is like we are uncomfortable around eachother but he is great and awsoem and realy kool to talk to but on the phone he doesnt realy do anything i need HELP PLEZZ what should i try to talk about to get the conversation going (link)
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Some people just aren't good on the phone. That's how it is. And coming up with a list of topics probably isn't going to help much.
I think the best thing to do is talk about what's on your mind: in this case, you should talk about what to talk about. You could ask him what he wants to talk about, or if he likes talking on the phone. Maybe he's just not comfortable with it. Or maybe it would be better to just talk about plans for the next time you get together, and not draw the conversation out.
You don't want awkwardness on the phone to morph into awkwardness in your face-to-face relationship, after all.
Good luck!
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My boyfriend hasnt talked to me for like three days. he wont answer my texts or anything so i decided i was going to go to his house and make him talk to me and tell me what was going on so...I txted him and told him that i was coming to his house and he was like no and i was like yea what ever im coming and i only told him so that way if he wasnt there he would tell me before i got to his house so then he told me that he was going to lock the doors so i couldnt get in then i told him that i was going to knock and he said his mom wouldnt let me in then i was like ill tell her its important and he was like no and i was like yea and then i was like corey are we breaking up and hes like 'i dont know' and i was like how dont you know and he was like ya i guess i was like omg are you for real ad he didnt say anything then i got really pissed off and walked my ass over to his house...not good...i was like corey whats going on and he said he didnt know if he wanted to break up with me but he liked the way it felt to not have to talk to someone everynight...i was sitting there thinking you dont talk to me every night you havent talked to me for three days!! but i love this boy so much and we didnt even fight so i dont know why this was so random? should i just let it go or should i try to get him back? and how do i do that if yes
15F (link)
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I'm sorry, but it really sounds as if your relationship with him has gotten too weird. You're almost threatening to break into his house, and he's practically calling the cops on you. That's just not normal.
From what you said it's *possible* that you pressed too hard, were too clingy; if you were pushing too hard for a long time, three days of solitude might not make up for it. And frankly, if it's reached that point, my guess is that the relationship is not going to survive.
On the other hand, boys can be fickle. He may have gotten nervous about the level of committment that you two were reaching, for example.
At this point the relationship is probably over, but if you want to save it (and it sounds like you do), I'd suggest playing it cool. Hold back. Let him make the effort to reach out. In other words, give him some space.
And if the relationship does end, remember that it's not the end of the world - even if it feels that way. You're young, and there are a lot of boys out there. Give yourself time, and you'll find love.
Good luck!
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Has anyone ever played magic the gathering? How...mystical/weird/gothic/spooky is it? Does it involve wicca? What is wicca?
Thanks! (link)
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I haven't played it, but lots of my friends have.
It's totally not mystical, gothic, or spooky. I guess you could call it weird, if you play with weird people, and there are certainly a lot of geeks who play it. Basically, it's harmless, as long as you don't spend all of your money buying cards.
It doesn't involve wicca. For more information about wicca, I recommend Google:
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hey, i just got a electric guitar for christmas. does anyone know any easy songs i can play on it??
thanx (link)
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Anything by the Ramones.
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26/m
i don't know what to expect from this but here goes.
everytime i really start liking a woman i always end up being "like a brother", this last time seemed to have taken the life out of me to the point where i start feeling resentfull towards woman and sociaty in general.
I really want a girlfriend, and always try to be just myself, but nobody seems interested, EVER. i've never had a girlfriend, i really can't believe that i'm such a big loser.
I really don't know what to do anymore :( (link)
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I was EXACTLY in your position for a long time - didn't go on a real date until I was 33. Got married at 37 and had a baby later that year, so there's hope for you. :D
I hated that "brother" thing. It was deadly. The kiss of death, relationship-wise.
What I'd recommend is an online dating site. Preferably an interest-specific one. There are a lot of sites out there that cater to particular groups; Jewish singles, Christian singles, Republicans, Democrats, Star Trek fans, and practically anything else that you can imagine. You might do well to sign up with one relatively narrow-interest site, and one more general one such as Match.com.
Watch out, because there are a lot of liars and users out there; it's a sick world. But there are also a lot of great women out there, looking for a good guy, and by getting to know them online FIRST, you can bypass a lot of social awkwardness and let them get to know the "real you".
It may take time to find the right girl - even years. But she IS out there.
Good luck!
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hi my name is jess im 13 ok well today i was with my boyfriend and i gave him a handy well i dont think he did but im not sure if he got sperm on him when he went to pull of his pants because he might have cummed on himself and then after like 3 min he ended up fingering me. if is there a good possibility i could get pregnant from that? please im scared and dont make fun of me plz.
thank you so much; jess (link)
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It's theoretically possible but the odds are extremely low. You probably shouldn't worry.
At your age I recommend against sex - honestly, you're way too young, and it will really be much better for you if you wait until you're physically and mentally more prepared for it - but if you insist on having sex, even if it's just stuff like what you've described, you should see your OB/GYN and ask about birth control options. You really DON'T want to wind up pregnant at 13 or 14 or even 18, if you're not ready.
Not to mention the chance of disease. So please be smart, and be safe.
Good luck!
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hey does anybody know: can you delete songs on your mp3 if you dont want them on there nemore?? if so how do you do that?? (link)
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You haven't provided enough information for a meaningful answer. What mp3? I'm guessing you mean "mp3 player", but there are a lot of different kinds.
In any case, if you hook an mp3 player up to a computer - which is normally what you'd do to add songs to it - then the player works as a disk drive. If you're using Windows, you can use "My Computer" or "Windows Explorer" to select specific files and delete them. You can delete files by pressing the "Delete" key.
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I want to loser 10 pounds in a week. What would be the fastest way to do so? (link)
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There is NO WAY to lose ten pounds in a week without a very real chance of causing yourself serious, permanent damage. The attempt could even be fatal.
The real question is WHY you want to lose so much weight so quickly. Is it for a special event or person? If so, there are some other things you can do to improve your appearance that are much safer and can actually work. Because even if you managed to lose several pounds in a week, believe me, you wouldn't look good.
I don't know if you're male or female, but some simple things you can do to improve your appearance are:
1. Stand straight. Improving your posture WILL make you look thinner and healthier.
2. Smile more. People who smile are more attractive, and a smile will also help you to feel better about yourself and your appearance.
3. If you have the money, get some new clothes. Dark colors and vertical stripes tend to make people look thinner.
4. This is a pretty desperate option, and I don't really recommend it. But there are control undergarments - they used to be called "girdles" - that can temporarily make you look thinner.
5. If you're a girl, you could get a makeover - makeup, that sort of thing - which can be quite effective.
As for weight loss in the long term, effective weight loss involved smart eating and regular exercise. Don't fall for lose-weight-quick scams and fad diets; they don't work, except to make other people richer and you poorer. And in some cases they can be dangerous to your health.
The best way to lose weight is slowly, by changing your life and habits in a healthy way. Talk to your doctor; she or he may refer you to a nutritionist, and give you other useful information.
And remember, you almost certainly look heavier to yourself than you do to other people. We tend to see ourselves in the worst light. That tendency is worse for women than for men, I believe.
Good luck!
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I'm going to buy the Nitendo (sp?) DS and I'm not sure which game to get, Zoo tycoon or Super Mairo. I'm 14/f and I hate the games that are like really hard to beat but with some chanlege and I've played both games befor. Which one do you reccomend?
Will, rate too!!!!!
Thanks! (link)
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Super Mario, absolutely. Its replay value is incredible. And it's widely considered to be THE ground-breaking 3-D game, and one of the best games ever made.
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I'm getting to the point where I can't stand to be around my boyfriend. He is really frustrating me. I don't really consider myself unreasonable and I feel really guilty about all this. He's constantly analyzing every aspect of our relationship on whether it's considered "sinful" or not. He even went on about kissing and how it must be considered 'selfish' to a persons own desires. He reads all these sexual purity books and gets his morality and philosophy from them. He is really stiff and concerned about purity.. I know most girls would love a guy who isn't sex obsessed, but sometimes I think it'd be better if he was. I feel I'm not worthy when I'm around him. I always feel like shit when he preaches about morals and stuff. what should I do? is it stupid to care about this? i feel like i'm making a big deal and should just accept it and move on.
thanks (link)
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The answer is simple: if he doesn't make you happy, leave him.
Life's far too short to waste on someone who makes you feel bad. And perhaps, that way, he'll be able to find the repressed prude that he apparently wants.
There are definitely guys out there who will make you happy. Don't rush into your next relationship - you don't want a rebound situation, after all - but move on and see what the world has to offer. There's no reason that you can't be happy.
Good luck!
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