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help :(
26/m
i don't know what to expect from this but here goes.
everytime i really start liking a woman i always end up being "like a brother", this last time seemed to have taken the life out of me to the point where i start feeling resentfull towards woman and sociaty in general.
I really want a girlfriend, and always try to be just myself, but nobody seems interested, EVER. i've never had a girlfriend, i really can't believe that i'm such a big loser.
I really don't know what to do anymore :(
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You don't have a girlfriend because you are too focused on the concept. You aren't a loser, you just haven't seemed to realize that you can't look for love, you have to wait for it to find you. There is absolutely nothing you can do about this. Why do you make "having a girlfriend" your focus? Right now is your time to be enjoying your friends and single-ness, sort of cementing your identity. It will happen when it's time, if you keep pushing for a relationship in any way shape or form then it turns woman off. When you meet someone who you have an instant connection with, you'll know. So will they, and it will happen without all the stress. Don't waste aother minute even thinking about this, call up your friends and plan a night out without any hopes about this issue.
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Dude, I've been there.
I invest everything I have into a relationship, and they end up breaking my heart.
I'm a lesbian. So haha, I know women.
My advice: NEVER SETTLE. Even if you are SO alone, and some girl likes you that you don't like, don't go for it. Express yourself through art or literature, or something like that. Wait it out.
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you are not a loser oh my god. the problem is the women not you. im sure you are adorable. look for a woman that wants a nice guy. let those bimbos get hurt by the mach bad boy image. cause we all know thats the end result. you will find love hun. i was married to a loserrrrrrrrrr and i decided to go for the nice guy with manners now and man i wish i would have when i was younger im 32 now and hes 28 and im so happyi hope the best to you and i promise it will get better. just keep high standards you deserve the best
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There is nothing wrong with being yourself and there is nothing wrong with establishing meaningful relationships with the opposite sex. Friendships may be more valuable then boyfriend girlfriend relationships. Since your character has produced a number of female friends, they would be the best ones to give you advice on things you can work on. On another note if you don't want to be "like a brother" state your feelings and your intentions with other person very early on so all parties are clear on the nature of the relationship. Men who often find themselves in the "Friend Zone" usually take a highly passive approach to dating women. While you are waiting to be noticed there are a slew of people who just take a chance.
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Maybe it's the type of women you're going after. Or your self-esteem. You don't gain anything by calling yourself a loser! Maybe you need to stop focusing on dating for a little while. Don't live for some dream girl--live for yourself. Take up gardening or koi breeding or writing or something. It's never too late to change your life. Siddhartha Gautama was a prince, married with a kid, before he went out into the world and became Enlightened. Remember--you can't be loved until you love yourself.
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the woman wants to feel protected, so first off make her feel like she can trust you with her life. do something sweet for her also, maybe make her dinner? show the sweet side to you! get her roses, most women love those! or just a nice gift, it doesnt even have to be expensive. well hope i helped some!
♥ Kristen
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I was EXACTLY in your position for a long time - didn't go on a real date until I was 33. Got married at 37 and had a baby later that year, so there's hope for you. :D
I hated that "brother" thing. It was deadly. The kiss of death, relationship-wise.
What I'd recommend is an online dating site. Preferably an interest-specific one. There are a lot of sites out there that cater to particular groups; Jewish singles, Christian singles, Republicans, Democrats, Star Trek fans, and practically anything else that you can imagine. You might do well to sign up with one relatively narrow-interest site, and one more general one such as Match.com.
Watch out, because there are a lot of liars and users out there; it's a sick world. But there are also a lot of great women out there, looking for a good guy, and by getting to know them online FIRST, you can bypass a lot of social awkwardness and let them get to know the "real you".
It may take time to find the right girl - even years. But she IS out there.
Good luck!
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okay I think you should keep talking to them, and be yourself. Try to be more sweet so they get to like you BETTER, once everything is going pretty good and you havent screwed anything up...maybe after you KNOW them veryyyy well then you could probably ask them out. only if you're sure no one would say no. but you cant screw up or do anything stupid or else it wont get better. just hug 'em maybe, try to see if they wOULD do somethin' with you.
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Listen just keep being yourself and girls like the sweet guy but dont throw yourself towards them. They wouldnt like that.
-Advice lady
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Speaking from a woman's point of view, I think woman are attracted to and want boyfriends that are real... "menly-men". But once they get in a real relationship, they will aprisiate your sweetness.....hopefully.
My advice is be yourself and all, but...less...girly, maybe???
Best of luck, peace out,
-auntM.
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