Member Since: April 23, 2005
Answers: 34
Last Update: January 26, 2006
Visitors: 2607
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13/m. I have a sister who is 14. Where we live, stuff happens slowly. It's not like in NYC where everyone loses their virginity at, like 13. My sister finally got her first boyfriend. I'm not too worried about that. But, they're taking everything too fast: one week, they're dating. Another week, they're holding hands. This may not seem like much to you, but where I live it is. And now yesterday---they've been together 2 months, tops---they both had their first kiss.
I've been trying to get more info, but she's really private about this. I asked her if it was just a peck or if she made out, and she said that it was about 5 seconds. Is that long for a first kiss? And I asked her when, and she showed me a ring that she got from him. Unfortunately, I suck at taking hints, so I still don't get it.
She doesn't want to tell anyone about anything that happens. My other sister and my parents are still completely unaware that they've done so much as hold hands, and she doubts she'll tell them about kissing any time soon.
So, I was just wondering, is this too fast, am I worrying too much, will she be turning into a sex-obsessed slut any time soon, and how can I get her to communicate more? "Why do you need to know?" she asks. Well, I intend on getting a girlfriend this year, and I'm gonna have to learn somehow, right? No smartass answers. Thanks! =) (link)
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LMFAO!
First kiss after ONLY two months?
Wait? Did you say yesterday they had their first kiss? Rewind! They are NOT having sex. I am SORRY. Your sister, and that boy, move reallly slow. They might be in love or something.
Two whole months. O_____O
Not having sex. But if they do, its none of your buisness.
And if they DO have sex, she's not going to become a slut. Girls having sex doesn't mean they are dirty or wrong. I have a sexually active friend and she only sleeps with her boyfriend, and they've been together for a while.
BTW, two months is A LONG EFFING TIME!!!!!!!!!
I cannot stress how long that is on highschool terms.
--DM
PS. I think you're being...well, in to be straight, a sexist bastard. You're asuming your sister will be a whore just because she likes a guy.
WAKE UP!
Have respect for your sister and butt out. NEVER EVER ask a woman about her sex life, unless you happen to be dating her.
EVER.
If you were my brother, you'd have bruises. How could you even think of your sister as a slut? Have a little faith in her, for God's sake.
-sigh- I'm sorry I sounded so harsh. I just got a little angery. You really need to have faith in your sister, and let her make her own choises. She's your older sister; she's wiser, she's lived longer.
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26/m
i don't know what to expect from this but here goes.
everytime i really start liking a woman i always end up being "like a brother", this last time seemed to have taken the life out of me to the point where i start feeling resentfull towards woman and sociaty in general.
I really want a girlfriend, and always try to be just myself, but nobody seems interested, EVER. i've never had a girlfriend, i really can't believe that i'm such a big loser.
I really don't know what to do anymore :( (link)
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Dude, I've been there.
I invest everything I have into a relationship, and they end up breaking my heart.
I'm a lesbian. So haha, I know women.
My advice: NEVER SETTLE. Even if you are SO alone, and some girl likes you that you don't like, don't go for it. Express yourself through art or literature, or something like that. Wait it out.
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My boyfriend hasnt talked to me for like three days. he wont answer my texts or anything so i decided i was going to go to his house and make him talk to me and tell me what was going on so...I txted him and told him that i was coming to his house and he was like no and i was like yea what ever im coming and i only told him so that way if he wasnt there he would tell me before i got to his house so then he told me that he was going to lock the doors so i couldnt get in then i told him that i was going to knock and he said his mom wouldnt let me in then i was like ill tell her its important and he was like no and i was like yea and then i was like corey are we breaking up and hes like 'i dont know' and i was like how dont you know and he was like ya i guess i was like omg are you for real ad he didnt say anything then i got really pissed off and walked my ass over to his house...not good...i was like corey whats going on and he said he didnt know if he wanted to break up with me but he liked the way it felt to not have to talk to someone everynight...i was sitting there thinking you dont talk to me every night you havent talked to me for three days!! but i love this boy so much and we didnt even fight so i dont know why this was so random? should i just let it go or should i try to get him back? and how do i do that if yes
15F (link)
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Let him go. If you keep pining away over him, he's going to say you're stalking him and all his friends will clown you.
I've been there.
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This is probably going to sound pretty fucking wierd, but it bothers me.
Ok, Im dating this girl. Shes agnostic/athiest, Im christian, formerly catholic non denominational. Up to this point, with the exception of discussion, Ive not really had any issues with religions shit in our relationship. It doesnt bother me that shes agnostic, it hasnt bothered her that Im christian.
So, today we were talking, and I told her I was going to become a reverend in the universal life church. For those of you who dont know, its an online website where you can actually get legally ordained and become a reverend in the eyes of the law. I find this fucking hilarious, and have wanted to for a while, but never got around to it.
She reacted badly. First, she joked that she didnt want to be involved with a reverend. Then she got serious and basically made it clear that it would bother her for me to become a reverend while I was dating her (expressed so that it was clear she didnt want me to do it)
Then she tells me its "disrespectful towards my religion"
This is coming from a girl who Ive watched the jesus episodes of southpark with. Whom I have made catholic joke after catholic joke (Im entitled, I was raised in it) with and laughed with her. Whom I have had frank discussions about the real failings of certain christian sects.
And now this.
Needless to say, I reacted badly. I was, and am pissed at her, for reasons I cant really say. Given that she doesnt even have a religion (because atheism and agnosticism are no more religions than bald is a hair color) I dont see where she gets off getting on me for being "disrespecful" towards mine or having an issue with it when its not like...
Anyway. Enough impassioned speeches, my question to the masses, is what do you think. Am I out of line? Is she? Because Im going to do this, and shes not going to like it. And I dont like feeling guilty for doing things I know arent wrong. (link)
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She's out of line.
Totally. Just tell her its a joke, and she'll understand.
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I am racially Jewish.
As far as my faith goes? I'm not quite sure. I was raised thinking Jesus is the true Messiah, not not worshiping him, per say. My father's side of the family has a lot of Jewish traditions woven in with Catholic ones.
I think Christians worship Jesus INSTEAD of God, and I don't think that's right.
I DO NOT want to be a Jew for Jesus. I'm sorry, I'm not praying in a highschool gym. Its not going to happen. I've prayed in both churches and synagogues, because I just say, "Hey, its the same God, right?"
But the way of worshiping Him is quite different. I have no idea who I am, where I fit, or where I should go to pray. (link)
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Honestly, you've given me great advice.
It hasn't helped me at all, though. Please keep in mind that almost every single person has explained the Trinity. I get it now, and that wasn't my question.
My question was more a question of religious/racial identity, and where I should worship, how I should worship...
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Do you believe that "God" has already planned out our destiny, or do you believe we make our own destiny?
And do you believe everything happens for a reason, or do you feel that's just some clever line a thinker thought up to try to reduce the amount of stress and anger in our lives? (link)
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You do plan your own destany, I believe.
However, no matter what you do, it will call come to pass the way God wants it. I think, at least.
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I have thought alot about suicide. Wrote suicide letters, read them over and over. Some days I want to kill myself, others I don't. I was just wondering for someone who is catholic and christian why do these thoughts occur. I believe in God so much and go to church all the time, but yet I have these evil thoughts, what would happen if I were to kill myself, would I go to hell? (link)
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I have no idea. I've never killed myself.
However, I don't think you have an 'evil side', I think you have a mental illness called depression and you need to get help.
I've been there, too. I used to cut myself and stuff.
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Hey I'm a guy and was just wondering about something...
I know its normal and not exactly their fault and everything, but when a girl goes through monthly stuff, what are we, the guys, supposed to do. I really don't mind it, but sometimes I feel like I need to help out my g/f with whatever the problem may be...but I can't. Should I just be there to talk and listen? That's what I've been doing so far. I mean I can't think of any good advice other than lie down, take some medicine, try to relax, and stuff like that. Should I try to help, or just stay out of the way? Is there any way I can help or no? I know I don't or ever will understand what it feels like or anything, but I'd still try to help with anything. Will rate, thanks in advance. (link)
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O_O AWK!
We get SOOO emotional during our peroids.
Do whatever she wants. Be there for her.
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with all that i hear going around especially in the media, its difficult for me to decide whether sexual orientation is a mental, psychological, or conscience choice. do people decide to do it out of their own free will? is it both? any help is appreciated - will rate (link)
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assuager, you're totally wrong.
Very often when girls are molested by men they become lesbians.
However...I think sexuality is all about love. Its just who you fall in love with, man.
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God says that he refuses to prove himself, because that would deny faith, and without faith he is nothing, so if someone were to find proof, then by gods own reasoning he couldnt exist-is this plausible (link)
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That wasn't His point at all.
First, the Bible was written by man. We don't even know if God really said that, or if it is some man's interpertation.
Second, back in the time where the Bible was written, the thought of finding proof wasn't even in the human brain.
Third, it also says in the Bible that God exists no matter what. He has always been there, and always will be there.
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First of all, let me clear the air. Im a sexually active 20 year old, Ive never been married, and I personally see nothing wrong with premarital sex, or sex in general.
But.
I have many friends who are Christian or Catholic, and they are (in my opinion) anywhere from sexually repressed at best, to afraid of and disgusted by sex at worst.
I cant really talk to most of them about it, simply because its a very uncomfortable subject.So I pose the question to the masses. For those of you who are religious, what are your views on sex, and why?
Thought provoking answers might get my screen name for further discussion, if you like. Any answers that sound something like
"ur crazy! Sex is uber cool! I LOVE SEX AND THERS NOTHIN WRONG WITH IT!! hope I helped plz rate"
or outright flames will get a 1. (link)
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Personally, I think if you really love the person, sex is fine.
But why not get married? -shrug- Still, if you're in a commeted, monogamous relationship, and truely love one another, why not? Its like marrage anyhow, these days. You can get devorced, ect.
I have no problem with it. I'm half Christian, half Jewish.
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To anyone, but especially to other Wiccans:
Hey,
I'm a Wiccan, and I think it's a beautiful religion and I really love it, but lately I'm finding I just don't have the time. I've read so many things that just say 'MAKE the time!' but that is so impractical when you are fifteen and in the middle of 21 GCSEs and an A Level (I kid you not...if you are English you will appreciate how hard that is lol)! I really desperately want to be a better Wiccan, to learn more about my religion, to be closer to the God and Goddess and nature, but I have no idea how. I walk to school and so I often try and think about and appreciate the nature...but I'm usually half asleep! Does anyone have any ideas?
I know that spellcraft isn't the only element of Wicca, and it is by no means the most important, so please don't suggest that I just 'do some spells'...for one I don't have the time and for another, my faith in this religion isn't quite so superficial that I can make myself believe I am being a better Wiccan by waving an athame through some incense smoke a few times a week. As Scott Cunningham once wrote in an excellent article, the ritual doesn't mean a thing if you don't mean it mentally. True Wiccanism relies on belief, not ritual. (link)
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Haha.
You don't really have to DO anything. Just let yourself be one with the Goddess and don't stress so much. Harm none, and do as ye will, my sista! ^_^
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is it a sin to kiss before marriage if your a christian? (link)
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Hope not, because Jesus kissed loads of people...
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17/f
is it wrong to think lustfully about others? i mean i can understand if it gets 2 be a constant thing and you objectify them, then its bad.. but is it really that bad 2 have inappropriate thoughts if its only ocasionally? please help
(link)
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Haha, no. Everyone thinks like that. I'm not saying it's a good thing, but it does depend on who you're thinking about.
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I put this in spirituality even though it doesn't really fit...
When I was a young teen I was very active in my church and school. I was in the choir, I helped to organize the children's liturgy, and I took part in the discussions and events that our Catechist organized all the time.
When I was seventeen I feel in love with another girl. For a few months we kept our relationship secret, but eventually it had to come out and my church pretty much ostracized me and told me in no uncertain terms that my help was no longer needed. My relationship with that girl lasted for two years and we are still very close friends. What happened with my church makes me very sad, but I don't regret my choices. I am a bi-sexual woman and I'm not ashamed of it.
The problem is now I am dating a guy and have been for a while. Old friends from the church are suddenly talking to me and being all nice and welcoming again. It's breaking my heart because I know if this relationship ends and I meet a woman I want to date I'll be kicked out again just as quickly. They keep inviting me out to dinner or to mass, (I have kept going over the years but I'm basically ignored by everyone.) Part of me wants desperately to be accepted and loved by these people again, the other part of me is just furious with the way they treated me and the pressure they are putting on me now to conform. Should I just accept this while it lasts or should I maybe say something to these people? (link)
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Tell them something.
Because real Christians shouldn't act like that; they are being stupid and you should talk to people who love you for who you are.
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Okay so i have been talking to this girl for a really long time and she wanted to hangout really bad so she came over one night. I flirted with her a lot and we had sex. And i know this girl likes me A LOTT. but the thing is i dont like her at all and i tottaly led her on by having sex with her so how do i make it as easy as i can on her without dating her? (link)
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Led her on? You didn't just lead her on. For most women, sex is an expresion of love or trust (but only if she likes you A LOTTT like you said, sometimes its not that way). You're so screwed its not even funny.
There is no way to make this easy. She's a girl, she likes you a lot, and she had sex with you. That DOES in fact mean that she thinks she means something special to you. The best thing you can do is tell her that you "love her as a friend" and you needed to get your feelings straight. Honestly, that is the only way she will still let you exist without hating your guts.
"I'm sorry. I love you as a friend but I was really confused about my feelings for you. I'm REALLY sorry if I hurt you and I never ment to. I like you, but you're just not the one for me."
Sound girly? Why yes it does. And I'm afraid if you say anything manly she'll slap you in the face. Saying girly and romantic things are the really only way you can deal with women's emotions without making a few enimies.
Led her on. -chuckle- Oh, ya think?
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I got my first period in January. I haven't gotten it since then! I know I'm not pregnat.
What's wrong with me? (link)
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-eyeroll- It takes a while for people to get their "rythem of life" going. It will take a while for it to come back. Or, you could have sists in your overies like I do. I had to take pills until my cycle was normal again. Ask your doctor about it and ask about "ovarian sists".
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On me n this guy's first date, we went all the way to 3rd base... and thenw e went out for like a week or 2 longer and then broke up.. rumors flew around the school which caused the break up.. now he and I merely talk.. but consider each other as friends still... I think i still like him.. but I don't think he likes me... how can I change his perspective of the relationship.. and why do I still like him? Thanks ahead of time! (link)
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Just move on or ask him out again. Pretty simple.
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A really good friend of mine is going to the movies with this guy,tomorow, and i know all there gonna do is make out and touch eachother and stuff, it happened last time. She wants me to go, and i really wanna go too, and she said "bring one of your guy friends, itl be a double date!", and i said "okay!", but the truth is..i really dont have any. None..actually. I really wana go, and il feel akward if im really alone, and i dont want to tell her that im a loser! I dont know what to do, and i cant make any at school because i go to a school where theres no boys, and im really ugly so i cant really make any guy friends that want to kiss me. This makes me feel really bad, and shes so pretty so she could get like any guy..i dont know what to do. Ne suggestions, please? (link)
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Just tell her the truth or get a normal guy friend to go with you. No pressure. Doesn't have to be a kissing type thing.
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Hey ya'll. Thanks for looking at my question.
I like this guy, Danny. Well, I don't really like him, but you know that crazy feeling that you get when you sort of like someone yet you sort of don't? (Confusing I know..)
Well I'm 17 and anyways, I kind of have the hotts for him and we talk alot on the AIM. I've know him for all my life, and we've just sort of gotten attracted to each other.
I think I could like him more than just attraction and fooling around.
The bad part about it is he lives in another state, and he's my best friend's brother. But I go out there frequently.
But I have no idea how to present the idea of liking each other to him. He is nineteen and of course its not that bad, I'll be of age soon.
I'm really bad with words and want to ask him if he feels anything for me and would like to have a relationship with me. In a nut shell. I don't want to freak him out, or make him think that I just sit around thinking about him all day.
Help please, thanks :)
(link)
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You could date him casually, but if he lives in another state...
I have a girlfriend in another school and we barely see eachother. Follow your heart. It could or could not be something.
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