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I put this in spirituality even though it doesn't really fit...
When I was a young teen I was very active in my church and school. I was in the choir, I helped to organize the children's liturgy, and I took part in the discussions and events that our Catechist organized all the time.
When I was seventeen I feel in love with another girl. For a few months we kept our relationship secret, but eventually it had to come out and my church pretty much ostracized me and told me in no uncertain terms that my help was no longer needed. My relationship with that girl lasted for two years and we are still very close friends. What happened with my church makes me very sad, but I don't regret my choices. I am a bi-sexual woman and I'm not ashamed of it.
The problem is now I am dating a guy and have been for a while. Old friends from the church are suddenly talking to me and being all nice and welcoming again. It's breaking my heart because I know if this relationship ends and I meet a woman I want to date I'll be kicked out again just as quickly. They keep inviting me out to dinner or to mass, (I have kept going over the years but I'm basically ignored by everyone.) Part of me wants desperately to be accepted and loved by these people again, the other part of me is just furious with the way they treated me and the pressure they are putting on me now to conform. Should I just accept this while it lasts or should I maybe say something to these people?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
Their behavior has been extremely unChristlike. They have judged you, they have kept their love from you, and they have not treated you as they would treat Jesus.
Would you be willing to attend another church, a more accepting one? Attending spiritual/religious events with these people can pollute your spirituality, so it would be best to find a more loving community.
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Tell them something.
Because real Christians shouldn't act like that; they are being stupid and you should talk to people who love you for who you are.
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Well, not ever having been 'Christian' in any sense of the word, but to allow my Creator in my heart to guide my choices.... I may not have sound advice, but I'm willing to discuss this issue with you.
In my way of thinking my Creator(I don't use the term God, too many connotations) created all of us equal and my Creator does not judge me or anyone else to condem them here or there. If you are to disallow your deepest feelings to surface, you will be simply passing through life, not honoring who and how and what you truly are all about.
I can tell you that having lived almost 61 years, I have finally, and very thankfully come to appreciate the value of following my heart's deepest desires. I had been through several marriages/divorces and luckily my three children, now all adults having families, came through my dysfunction just fine.
If YOU are not true to YOU, who will be? You are here on this glorious earth to take respsonsibility for your choices and anytime you make those 'lower choices', w/o your heart fully involved, you will in some way pay a price. Maybe you, like me, won't see it for decades, but you will.
I don't anything about your church, your religion, but I am very spiritual person and I see Jesus as my brother in the Divine Light of Love and Truth. He came to teach me to live by the Golden Rule and to love others. If I have sinned, I wish to be responsible and I would not ever ask another to give up their life because I may have made a lower choice.
I do not mean to offend you, nor tell you what to do... but I can tell you that to follow the wisdom of your heart is your highest, truest, and in my opinion, most spiritual path. This young man you're dating should know of your bi-sexual tendencies and if he really loves you he will undertand, but to keep such a big part of your beingness/truth from him is do to do you or him a single favor.
As for those who judged your choice, is that a very Christian thing to do? I say, for those who judged you, you are better off to find a new circle of friends who will accept you exactly as you are. Those who do really love you with the love that is Divine and eternal and of the Christ vibration.
I would hope that you will find within yourself your truest stengths and the courage to carry through those dark moments when human dysfunctions will try to envelop you and your beautiful beingness. You dear heart are a unique, one of kind piece of Divine artwork, a masterpiece and honor your own creation with each and every choice you make.
My thoughts and my heart will be with you. Afterall, we are eternal sisters on the path of being human aren't we? All blessings to you dear heart!
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if they really loved you it would matter what you are black white bi-sexual or striaght. if they are only going to talk to you because you are dating a man why be bothered with them. u dont come to church to make friends yeah you come to have fellowship but when you walk into the house of the lord you shouldnt feel like your being judge the church is a place for you to be loved and welcome and your heart be full of praise to the lord or god. and if they cant look past you being bi-sexual they are not listening to the word and are not getting to know the real you and who you are inside. what you do in church and personal is none of there buisness as long as you are praising him hell bless you and you dont have to worry the lord will take care of them they just hating. and if they continue then then thats not a place of god and thats not where you need to be find a new church that can accept you that you feel is allowing you to grow and easy to fellowship and you love and if you decide that you want to stay there then you just praise him and dont worry about them and just worry about you cause he will bless you at the end. good luck god bless you
-attractive
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You should be all like "YES I AM STRIAGHT I AM SORRY I HAVE SINNED" and ask to make a speech during church about your expirence and why it was wrong. But when they time comes go up and say what you feel. The church shouldn't discriminate against anyone. Doesn't God love everyone?
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They are hypocrites for sure, there is absolutely no doubt about it. For them to judge you soley on a sexual preferance even when you did so much for the church, is a complete backstab to you. And even when you kept going to mass during the time between then and now, you were still ignored. That is absolutely terrible for them to do that.
My advice for you is to bring up the issue and how you were treated, even when you remained faithful to the church and were commited to it. Let everyone know their hypocricy, because if you bring it up, maybe they will change. Keep your faith and keep going to mass like you have been, but raise your voice on the issue and remind them.
-Ryan
P.S. This is why I do not like any church today. It is too conservative and has to be a certain way or it is no-go. I am Lutheran and I am quite fed up with how the church (any denomonation) acts these days. While I do not approve of any kind of homosexuality and do believe that it is wrong, The church goes to far with it.
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theres a catholic for you.. they have weird ways sometimes let me tell you(haha i am one) they are rude and judgemental and nonaccepting.. i think you should say something to them and if they are rude leave your church.. ive accually gone to a methodist church before. they have basically they same beliefs but they are more accepting
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Hmm, this is a tricky one. If it were me, for my pride, I wouldn't become friends with them. They can't accept you for who you are and were horrible to you for no reason. I'm not sure I could forgive someone after that. Yes, I know they have their religious beliefs, but they are not being very "christian-like" by shunning you and being unaccepting. You are allowed to date who you want. Christianity is all about faith and what a good person you are, something they obviously are having difficulty with. I don't see why you need to conform to their standards for them to like you. That, in a way, is sacrificing yourself and true friends should like you for you.
You could try joining another church, or finding a youth group for bisexual teens in your area. Yes, they do exist. Trust me, there are heaps of people in your position.
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Personally, I think they're hypocrites. Cruel hypocrites. They have absolutely no right to treat you that way. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought the point of Church was to provide a place where everyone belonged. Not one person cared enough to even speak to you during those two years. If they can forget what a great person you are and how involved you were because of such a minor thing, then they are not worth it. You shouldn't accept it, because that would be letting them walk all over you. But I don't think you should just leave, either. I think you should tell them how they made you feel. I know it's something we learned in preschool, to tell people when they hurt your feelings, but it does apply when you're older. A lot of people forget that. Try to educate them on homosexuality and religion--the two don't have to conflict with each other!! If it doesn't work, then you really don't need these people as friends.
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Well, It really depends on what you, personally, want the most out of it.
Were it me, I'd say something to them. I'd tell them that their narrow-minded intolerance is unbecoming of civilized human beings, and that I would really prefer to have nothing to do with them.
Basically, I wouldn't care to know them any longer because they clearly do not value you for who you are.
You're probably right, in that they will shun you again if you start dating a woman again, and you have to think: are those really the sorts of people that you want as friends? Good friends will love you because of you; they won't be put off because you're different than they are.
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