Member Since: January 5, 2006
Answers: 46
Last Update: January 24, 2006
Visitors: 3202
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I am racially Jewish.
As far as my faith goes? I'm not quite sure. I was raised thinking Jesus is the true Messiah, not not worshiping him, per say. My father's side of the family has a lot of Jewish traditions woven in with Catholic ones.
I think Christians worship Jesus INSTEAD of God, and I don't think that's right.
I DO NOT want to be a Jew for Jesus. I'm sorry, I'm not praying in a highschool gym. Its not going to happen. I've prayed in both churches and synagogues, because I just say, "Hey, its the same God, right?"
But the way of worshiping Him is quite different. I have no idea who I am, where I fit, or where I should go to pray. (link)
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Christians worship jesus in addition to god.
Rather than trying to fit yourself into a category, think about these matters for yourself. Jew and christian aren't your only choices.
There are many religions, many philosophies, and plenty of people who don't buy into any of them.
Consider that there may very well not be a god. Or there may be many gods. Or a god completely different from the one you think you worship. Think!
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i have a question about people and racism.. why do black people try to take advantage of it? like my school has way more white people than black and if you say someting bad about 1 of the black kids or dont like them just because you dont like them NOT because they are black they just go on saying you are racist. like this boy at my didnt make varsity basketball team because quit frankly he was really bad and his parents sued the school saying they were racist and then they had to take him on the team.i am from the north so normally its not an issue but i think black people try to take advantage of racism.. why? (link)
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Well, sometimes, it's because they're jerks, and they like to take advantage of the situation.
But then, other times, they actually do think that they're being discriminated against because of their skin color, despite the fact that that may not be the case. There's still quite a bit of favoritism of white folks in the country, and so black people often have to ask themselves - was i denied this opportunity fairly, or because of my skin color?
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Okay. I lost my virginity on Monday to my boyfriend. We've had sex several times since then. My question is, I'm still bleeding during sex. Is that normal? Sometimes I get cramps, is that normal? (link)
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I've heard of bleeding more than once, but cramps? I'm not sure.
When in doubt, ask a doctor. Better safe than sorry.
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I'm a tiny little person (13/f) and my mom wants me to exercise. Aside from burning off fat and staying at a healthy weight, why is it important to exercise? (link)
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There are lots of little reasons as to why, but basically, it's simply important as a matter of keeping in good health.
At your age, it's not hugely important...but if you keep yourself healthy and fit from now through your twenties, you'll have an easier time staying healthy and fit for the rest of your life thereafter.
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I've been in love with a man for the last 3 years. I've never felt such strong feelings for a guy in my life. I believe that he loves me too. The problem is that he's married. I've never crossed the line with him. We've never even kissed but have exchanged loving glances. He knows how I feel and that I've been suffering in silence. We have so much in common and have similiar values.
He has a very rocky marriage. Everyone knows he and his wife arent happy. They work together at a cafe and they fight like cats and dogs. They have nothing in common and I've heard that she has several addictions, including drugs and gambling. They have no kids together but she has two grown children from her first marriage. They don't respect my friend and steal from him. She is abusive to him and takes his money to gamble or spend on cigaretes.
He is a gentleman and a christian and would never ask me to have an affair. I've already told him I don't believe in extra marital affairs because my dad cheated on my mom. But he has never indicated that he wanted to leave her for me. He is very shy and reserved, and sometimes I think he's in denial of his feelings for me, or scared of his feelings for me.
I am young (mid 20's) and have lots of guys after me. But I don't want to date any one because I am in love with my married friend. I don't want to have an affair either. I feel a lot of guilt because after my dad cheated on my mom I vowed to never do what my dad did. What should I do? (link)
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Well, lucky for you, the year is 2006 - divorce IS an option for your man friend.
Especially if he's in a miserable, loveless marriage. That's what divorce is for.
Now, of course, as you've said, he hasn't shown any intention of doing such a thing. But that doesn't mean that he doesn't want to - you'd best bring up the matter and discuss it with him.
And there's no shame in an extramarital affair. Affairs are harmful when they occur in the context of a loving marriage, and/or where children are involved.
Your male friend has no children, and is not in a loving marriage. An affair, therefore, is not actually morally wrong - it does not harm people.
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I've had a close friend for 3 years now, for two of those years we have been roommates. We are both 20-year-old females.
My friend Megan used to be the most empathic person I ever met, she was always the first to notice if you were upset or unhappy. She was very quick and caring, but in the last few months she has completely changed.
She doesn't listen to what anyone else says, she only waits for her chance to talk, and then she says things that make it quite clear she didn't listen to you at all. She is completely ignorant of other people's feelings, you can't get her off the phone or out of your room even by being down right rude to her. She just doesn't clue in at all. Where she used to be sympathetic and very clever she is now sluggish and annoying.
It's not just socially either. Today in class she said the exact same thing as the person five seconds before her did, even after it was pointed out she didn't notice and she is having a lot of trouble following a sequence. When we do projects together or play cards she has to be told every step individually and is constantly forgetting or ignoring rules or instructions. She doesn't seem to do it because she is bored and she doesn't take offence at being corrected, she is just that out of it.
This is NOT like the girl I first met at all and it's been going on for at least 3 months now, getting progressively worse. We thought she might just be tired and that winter break would rejuvenate her. All of her close friends (about four of us) have noticed it independently now and are getting really worried.
She doesn't do drugs. There have been no major life changes, no breakups or anything. This seemed to come out of nowhere. She is so out of it we aren't even sure how to start talking about it. We think an 'intervention' might make her feel accused. Does anyone have any idea what we can say or do to help her? (link)
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Sounds like depression, to me.
You're going to a college, which has a health services department, or some such thing? If so, go to the health department, and ask a counselor or a doctor or some such person about what to do about the matter.
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If a friend is doing idiotic things that are endangering her health, how far must you go to stop them before it becomes "nagging"? Urge them to change their ways once? Twice? Get other friends and gang up on them? In the opinions of the great Advicenators, when do such actions go past the point of being helpful and instead become merely annoying and likely to irritate the person you're trying to help? (link)
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Make said person completely and totally aware of the consequences of their actions, in a calm, rational tone of voice.
If they still don't care, then there is nothing you can do. Let it go.
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15f christian....
I used to always masturbate. quite alot. but then about 2 weeks ago i read something that said that masturbating is a sin. well ever since i read that i havent masturbated, i actually gave in yesterday but then i felt reallllly guilty afterwards. is this bad because i mean will it mean i'll never be able to enjoy masturbating? is this normal and will i ever get over it? please help. i rate 5's! (link)
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Is it normal to masturbate? Yes. Will you get over the guilt? Hopefully.
Don't pay any attention to people who are very up tight about this kind of thing; they generally have emotional and sexual insecurities to deal with, insecurities that you don't have. Don't feel guilty - there's nothing wrong with masturbation.
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Hello, I'm a 17 year old female. Who is interested in taking boxing class.
I've heard somewhere that if you take boxing classes and get into a street fight, you'll be arrested and charged with weapon possession because they would consider your fists as a weapon. Is this true? Or am I the only one that has heard about this?
Another thing is, I get into a lot of physical fights, so if what I said above is true exactly what do you think would happen to me?
Thank you. (link)
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Well, I've never heard of a boxer being arrested under the charge of weapon possession. I suppose it's not entirely outside the realm of possibility.
Here's the thing: if you go starting fights, and you DO have hand-to-hand combat training (boxing, martial arts, etc), you'll probably get harsher justice from the law. That's reasonable to expect.
I would recommend that you stop getting in to fights; that's going to get you arrested on day anyway, boxing or no boxing. Don't use physical violence unless absolutely necessary; there's no shame in walking away from a fight. Especially when it keeps you out of jail.
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I haven't been to many funerals, but I am young and expect I'll be attending quite a few over the course of my life. I need advice on two issues that have come up at the funerals I have been to:
1. What do you say when someone asks how you are? To say that you're "doing great" or even "fine" seems disrespectful to the dead person and their family.
2. I am an atheist. What am I to say when someone brings up the afterlife? I feel like a liar when I nod and agree that yes, So-and-so is in a better place, but I can't very well tell the bereaved family members that their loved one is now worm food. (link)
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1. I would say, "well, I'm doing as well as can be expected, you know?"
2. I'm an atheist also. I say something like, "Yeah, I'm sure they're feeling better, now." It's the truth as i see it, after all.
I find, in general, the best way to answer these kinds of questions is to give answers that are true, but cause the other party to make assumptions based on their expectations. That way, you don't lie, and they feel just as comfortable as ever.
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There is a guy who i've just recently became really good friends with this year. Last year he was in one of my classes and we barely talked, but this year we ended up being in four classes together and became really good friends. Plus I found out he lived three houses away from me and we hung out once in a while.
He has a crush on one of my friends, a cheerleader who told me she wasn't interested in him at all and thought he was annoying. He told me she was sending mixed signals, flirting with him then ignoring him. She wanted to hook him up with someone else so he would leave her alone. But she was too nice to tell him that, so she wanted me to hook up with him or at least find someone else to. I was like, wtf? I thought that she was being a little rude when she said that, especially trying to push my friend on me just because she didn't want him liking her.
The next day, he was asking me whether or not he had a chance with her and i debated between telling the truth or saying I had no idea, because on one hand, if i told the truth, he might move on and she wouldnt complain so much , but then I might hurt his feelings. But I finally told him to "get over it" because she thought his actions were annoying and she wanted to hook him up with someone else.
Is what I did right? He seemed a little upset when he heard that she wanted him to go out with someone else, but got over it quickly. I'm afraid I might have hurt his feelings though he didn't say it. Was what i did right? Or was I just meddling in someone else's business? Because if I didn't do anything about it, she would have been too nice to tell him to his face that she didnt like him and keep leading him on. (link)
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No, you did the right thing. Men like to hear the truth; the worst thing you can do to a guy is jerk him around.
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I just pretty much broke my guy friend's heart. He has liked me for a really long time, and a couple days ago he just told me. I feel so bad because I feel like I lead him on...because he always comes to my locker every day (which kind of annoys me) and i even gave him a friendly hug one day just as a joke. But now I've realized as I've gotten to know him that he is just not what I'm looking for in a boyfriend. I'm not even sure I WANT a boyfriend. So now he is really different after i told him we should just be friends. he's sad, and talking about how hes never going to like another girl again. He'll probably continue to follow me around at school and I am trying to explain it to him the best i can but I've never really broke someones heart before. Any advice?
:( (link)
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Well, I'm a man, and I've had my heart broken when I was younger.
The best thing you can do is be completely honest. Be nice, but don't fudge the truth to spare his feelings - the most important thing is that he understands the way things are. That way, he won't suffer the dissapointment of getting his hopes up again.
And, if you ever do like him some day, for whatever reason, it would probably be best not to pursue him. Guys hate being jerked around.
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My Ex boyfriend and I are pretty good friends, and I like being friends with him except it really walks on my last nerve when he flirts with my friend Abby. I don't like him that way; thats not even the point. It's that everytime I look at them their always flirting and poking each other and when he's around me it makes me feel like he uses me to get to her. Because he won't talk to me until he is away from her. That really pisses me off. You can't talk to him, or her because they won't listin. She's nutty and he's a crack. So how can I deal with this? (link)
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You can't.
Maybe he's using you to get to her, but I don't think that's necessarily the case.
He's attracted to her, and her to him. They don't ignore you on purpose; that's just what happens when two people are attracted to each other - they pay attention to each other, and no one else.
The best thing you can do is just...not hang out with them when they're together. I can understand you want some part in the socialization, but that's not going to happen unless you're unusually disruptive. Just let things take their course.
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ok well i'm 13/f and i just found like a bald spot on my head! i mean i have hair that covers it up... but there's like a quarter sized bald spot when i lift my hair up... what could be the cause of this and is there anything i can do? this is so embarassing and weird! please help- i rate (link)
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Are you dieting? Eating enough?
Vitamin deficiencies can lead to hair loss, hair falling out, that kind of thing.
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they always say that your grades don't matter in 9th grade...is that true? i am very worried about an exam tomorrow...could it be the difference between harvard and virginia tech? lol (link)
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Yep, it matters.
More importantly, though, you shouldn't stress out. A single exame in a single grade doesn't matter THAT much, and stressing out makes you do worse in school.
Just relax - everything will be just fine. The most important thing is to be calm, and clear-headed.
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ive been really scared latey about this problem going on with me ear. You see, i sleep on my side so my head is always tilted in one direction. for a few years its been feeling like sosmething moving in there, and when i turn over it goes the other way (even though i know the ears arent connected). Its really incomfortable. and a few years ago something actually came out. It was clear and hard and i was too ignorrant t worry or tell anyone, but know i am. I'm really worried and i feel like im going deaf or something?! what could this be? (link)
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That's really bizarre.
You definitely need to see a doctor. It may be nothing, but on the other hand, going deaf or having some sort of strange infection is definitely something you want to avoid.
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My boyfriend is 24 and I'm 22 and we've been dating for at least 2 years. We love eachother dearly and are serious about one another. The only issue he and I occasionally discuss is religion. We do have a lot of the same morals however he's Christian and I was born into a sect of Hinduism, which I do believe in. Although we do respect and appreciate eachothers beliefs, I kinda get the feeling he wants me to convert. I really don't want to label myself something I'm not comepletely. Is it possible to have a healthy 'interfatih' relationship that works in the long run?! (link)
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Oh, he definitely wants you to convert. Christians have a thing about converting people.
But no, you can certainly have a healthy, loving relationship, despite having religious differences.
Marriage, though, if you're thinking about that, is a different matter.
While you two can certainly love each other despite ideological differences, there's more to marriage than love.
Namely, children.
Which, if anything, will be the cause of conflict. He'll probably prefer that his children be raised as christians, and, depending on how you feel about the matter, this may or may not cause conflict.
If you don't mind raising your children as a faith other than your own, then no problem. If, in fact, he doesn't mind raising his children as a faith other than his own, then no problem. But if you both want your children raised under your own faith, then you may have a problem on your hands.
And, if divorce comes into the picture, that will also muddy things up.
But that's in the long, long run. For now, you can certainly have a healthy relationship with him. Just remember, if you decide to get married, you need to settle the matter of how you raise children BEFORE the marriage, so as to prevent conflicts.
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I am really bad at seperating boyfriends from friends. Is the only difference between having a boyfriend and having guy friends is that you can kiss and hold hands with your boyfriend? I guess I have a problem..cause I treat my boyfriend the same way as my guy friends. Does anybody have an ideas how I can let him know that I really do like him as my boyfriend? Cause I am starting to convince myself that we should just be friends. Thanks.
14/f (link)
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The difference is in the emotions; you feel very differently for a boyfriend than you do for a friend.
Of course, this tends to manifest itself in your behavior - women tend to act differently with their boyfriends than regular folks, because they feel differently and more strongly for their boyfriends.
Odds are, you're not really into him - you don't have that special feeling for him. And that's okay; there's no sense in forcing yourself to feel a certain way.
If you don't feel strongly for him, then maybe it's best that you stay friends with him. But really, that's a choice you have to make. And remember, you're young. You may not be ready for dating yet.
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I've never had vaginal intercourse, but about 6 years ago I fooled around with my first and only bf. I performed oral sex on him and also let him perform anal on me without using a condom.
I tell everyone that I'm still a virgin and saving myslef for my husband. No one knows about what I did with my ex bf.
Should I get tested for any STD's? Just to be on the safe side? I know it was 6 years ago. Also, what are the chances that I could have caught something? (link)
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Yeah. I'd get the whole work up - test for everything. The scariest STD's only show up much later, after infection. Like syphilis; it stays dormant for decades, and by the time the symptoms show up, it's already been eating away at your brain for a while.
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I like the look of iPod minis 'cause they have a pink one but a couple of Q's...
1) Is an MP3 player better????
2) Are iPod mini's effective?
3) Are they easy-to-use?
4) Are they worth the money?
5) How many songs do they hold?
6) Can I get different headphones for them?
7) Do they ever freeze up like computers?
(link)
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An Ipod IS an MP3 Player; it's just a specific brand name.
Mini's aren't all that great; they work, but they can't hold as much music as the bigger ipods can.
They's easy to use.
Not worth the money; if you want a tiny Ipod, get an Ipod Nano - they're a lot smaller, have about the same amount of memory, they're faster, and they have a color screen.
About a thousand songs, maybe? It depends on the size of your songs; they have 4 gigabytes of memory, and a song is typically 3 megabytes in size.
They use the same headphones that cd players use.
My ipod only froze once, but It's a regular Ipod, not a mini.
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