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religion
My boyfriend is 24 and I'm 22 and we've been dating for at least 2 years. We love eachother dearly and are serious about one another. The only issue he and I occasionally discuss is religion. We do have a lot of the same morals however he's Christian and I was born into a sect of Hinduism, which I do believe in. Although we do respect and appreciate eachothers beliefs, I kinda get the feeling he wants me to convert. I really don't want to label myself something I'm not comepletely. Is it possible to have a healthy 'interfatih' relationship that works in the long run?!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The things which are most likely to lead to relationship breakdowns are serious incompatibilities - religious differences, value differences, attitudes to money, desires for children (or not). This is not to say that many people do not respect and value the partner's differences; of course they do.
Some sectors of Christianity, however, openly advise not to marry someone of a different faith. They call it being 'yoked to an unbeliever.' Again, not all Christians feel this way.
The only concern is that you have the feeling your boyfriend wants you to convert; feelings often come from observations of another's feelings, thoughts, and behaviours. This observation happens even when we are not aware we're doing it. It's definitely worth asking your boyfriend how he feels, and telling him you want him to respond in an honest and open way.
If you believe in your brand of Hinduism, then there's no reason for you to adopt a label that does not fit you. Relationships work best when you are encouraged to be as truly yourself as you can be, and the person loves that self that you really are.
Best of luck.
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Well for now no, but in the future and the longer you guys are together I'm sure the religion issue will come up. I mean I don't know if your thinking of marriage but usually Christians get married in a church and if you and your boyfriend love each other a lot you never know he might be thinking of the what if's of marring you. there are some people out there that get married in spite of religious differences but it depends differently on everyone. If say raising kids in a Christian type religion is important to him then you guys need to sit and talk ( this is only if you see you guys getting married) and talk about it. Other then that you cant do much else can you.
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Oh, he definitely wants you to convert. Christians have a thing about converting people.
But no, you can certainly have a healthy, loving relationship, despite having religious differences.
Marriage, though, if you're thinking about that, is a different matter.
While you two can certainly love each other despite ideological differences, there's more to marriage than love.
Namely, children.
Which, if anything, will be the cause of conflict. He'll probably prefer that his children be raised as christians, and, depending on how you feel about the matter, this may or may not cause conflict.
If you don't mind raising your children as a faith other than your own, then no problem. If, in fact, he doesn't mind raising his children as a faith other than his own, then no problem. But if you both want your children raised under your own faith, then you may have a problem on your hands.
And, if divorce comes into the picture, that will also muddy things up.
But that's in the long, long run. For now, you can certainly have a healthy relationship with him. Just remember, if you decide to get married, you need to settle the matter of how you raise children BEFORE the marriage, so as to prevent conflicts.
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I do think it is possible to have a healthy, long term, interfaith relationship, however, if religion is something really important to either of you or your respective families, I expect it will be difficult. At the very least, you should have a discussion about how you would want to practice your religions if you lived together or were married and how you would want to raise any kids you might have together, etc. Also, discuss what your families will be expecting from your spouse/partner. Looking at it in the REALLY long term that way should help each of you to honestly evaluate whether you can live with having a partner who does not share your religion.
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As long as you're both accepting of each other's religious choice and don't try to convert each other, I think the relationship can work in the long run. Since you have a feeling that he's trying to convert you, it may be best to sit down and have a discussion about your religion and set some boundaries.
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Yall love EACH OTHER correct? then that's all that matters. Yes religion is a tricky subject in a marriage if the two fo you believe in something different but as long as neither one of you "knock" the other's religion then there should be nothing to worrry about. Be thankful that the only "complaint" you have with the man you love is over religion and not something like cheating or lying.
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Well, at least he believes in something rather than nothing, right? I'd say that'd cause more problems.
You needn't worry about converting for now. Perhaps if you guys decide to get married it may be something you need to discuss. But for now, religious beliefs shouldn't come between anyone in a relationship. You obviously care a lot about each other and seem respecting and accepting of each others beliefs. And because you have the same morals there's no problem there either. If it's bothering you though you should talk to him about it and ask him if there's any issues with you two being from different faiths. If it does bother him, then maybe you need to question whether he's worth it or not.
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Yes, as long as you both know each others boundaries and respect them. If you love each other it will work it self out. I've been in a relationship with a guy who was hindu, and it was great, we broke up but not because he was hindu, it was other stuff. He should just respect your choice and let it go, and the same goes for you. I sincerely hope I helped.
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