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Helping without nagging
If a friend is doing idiotic things that are endangering her health, how far must you go to stop them before it becomes "nagging"? Urge them to change their ways once? Twice? Get other friends and gang up on them? In the opinions of the great Advicenators, when do such actions go past the point of being helpful and instead become merely annoying and likely to irritate the person you're trying to help?
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TO: Helping without nagging
well as i told another friend of mine just a few moments ago, a person's actions is their own. they have their options and if their mind is set on something then i'm sure theyre gonna do it.
helping is a responsibility and, at times, a buden. there is no limit to "help." your efforts in helping a person would NEVER go past "the point of being helpful" because, somewhere down the road, they will come to the realization that you were right.
my best advice is to just keep trying and trying. even though you feel like your nagging, you should keep on going to at least show you care. if the problem becomes critical, get outside help [i.e. friends, family, anyone theyre REALLY close with]. yea noe?
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Sometimes in order to act in the best interests of somebody else you'll need to be naggy and annoying. You might lose a friend this way, but if you succeed in pulling her away from whatever dangerous conduct she's involved in, you could very well save her life. If she recognises what you've done for her, she'll thank you. If she remains oblivious to the fact that you pulled her back from the brink, then there's nothing much you can do. Stage an intervention if the situation warrants for it. A problem that cannot be resolved by one person may require the participation of others.
At the end of it all, ask yourself why you're doing what you're doing. If it's for the sake of your friend's well being, then the possibility of losing her companionship is irrelevant because success may result in a live saved.
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Dear Helper,
For one thing, you're being a really good friend just by caring at all. If you're really worried about your friend, then ask them to sit down alone with you and have a serious talk. Talk about how you're scared for them. If they deny anything then try talking to a guidance counselor or their parents about it. Try to get it through to them that you think what they are doing is dangerous and need help.
-That Advice Lady
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Make said person completely and totally aware of the consequences of their actions, in a calm, rational tone of voice.
If they still don't care, then there is nothing you can do. Let it go.
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tell someone with more power (couldnt think of the right word) over her, like her parents. if its really dangerous then you shouldnt stop doing it. it might seem annoying to your friend but it could save her life depending on what shes doing.
XO KALIE
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If i were you, i would say " your my friend and everything but i really dont like what your doing. and until you can stop, i cant associate with you." yes, it may become annoying but at least your making sure it gets across.
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