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January 16, 2006Answers:
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I'm a 877 year old (reformed) demon who can furnish the brand of advice only a 877 year old (reformed) demon can dispense.
advice
my boyfriend and i have been going out for about 3 months. we hold hangs on the bus [yeah, corny, i know.] and hug and all that.. but what are some things like their girlfriends to do. btw, im 14, so is he. i just want to let him know i do care about him and everything..
Just because you're the girlfriend doesn't mean that the burden of keeping things harmonious and "peachy" needs to fall solely upon you. Let me say first off that sex is NOT the way to show him that you care. It's appalling how some girls think that the only way they can keep their boyfriends happy is to continuously put out like a common harlot. If at any time he even dares to suggest that you need to have sex with him in order to maintain your relationship, verbally slap him around and make him cry like a wee girl by dumping him in front of everybody.
That having been said, little gifts can work wonders. A card perhaps? A tin of cookies? Just don't go overboard. He's a boyfriend, not a fiancee or a husband. Even then, one can argue that the gift giving decreases exponentially once you get married. As an aside, that could be the as-yet unproven reason why so many marriages fail: not enough presents.
But never mind that.
I have a mental illness and have been out of the work force for a long time. What I have is called schizophrenia. I've been supporting myself for the last 5 years by being on a disability pension. I just got a job a couple of months ago part time. I get about 25 hours a week and don't need to collect my pension anymore. Well my question is about this man that works as a social worker for the local mental health association. I've known him for about 2 years and I've always sensed an attraction. Well yesterday he saw me get out of my car. He works in the building next to where my appartment is. He was asking me about the job and then when I told him it was going well he said " Good for you", and the way he was looking at me it wasnt just friendly it seemed more than that, like he had sexual feelings for me. I remember one summer when I went on a camping trip sponsered by mental health he went and he kept staring at me. Do you think this may mean he has feelings for me? And couldnt he get in trouble if he did want to date me because I'm a client of his. Oh yeah, he is 43 and I am 27.
I would imagine that there *may* be some difficulties with him dating you if you are indeed in a working relationship with him. However, please don't get the wrong idea that just because you're schizophrenic it automatically means that you can never be in a relationship. Engage him in more conversation and perhaps the truth will emerge eventually regarding his feelings toward you.
As a precaution, do be ever mindful that there are people out there who take advantage of others. If he's the predatory sort, he may view you as "easy pickings" because of your clinical history. You will need to determine his motives by listening to how he approaches the "relationship" subject. Do not grant him power over you in any shape or form by automatically acquiescing to his suggestions. Be in control of where you want to direct this matter.
My boyfriend is I think kinda annoyed with me.. I mean I talked to his best friend and he said that every time I call my b.f says "Here we go again" and well I am not sure if I want to be with someone who does want to talk to me or even wants to be with me unless we are alone.. and well I truly like him and i don't want to end it but I sometimes think that is the only way... the past few days he's told me he didn't want to come over.. it kinda ticked me off at first and now I am more like miserable. I don't want nothing to happen but I mean htings have just changed... and he lied to me.. which kinda ticked me off but I cannot tell him I know he lied to me because it would make him mad at his best friend.. soo IdK HELP ME!
Take him aside and have a chat about your relationship. It sounds like he may looking for an excuse to break up. If that is the case, be ready to let him go for the sake of both parties. You can't continue in a relationship where one side is obviously losing interest.
By the way, if in the course of your discussion with him he points out that he wants to leave because of something you did, take your time to analyse his statement. If you genuinely had nothing to contribute to the cause of the split, don't try to convince him of it if it seems obvious that he wants out. You won't be the weak party here nor should it be your fault that things are going down the toilet. It is *he* who is the coward with his decision not face you with the truth. You can do MUCH better. Don't weigh yourself down. There are PLENTY of guys out there; nicer, smarter, and better looking ones who you deserve.
i have a really close guy best friend but he's been kinda distant from me nowadays. we used to talk a lot online and on the phone. then we got really far from each other when i started going out with my bf. we hardly talk anymore now and he's been acting kinda depressed too. i asked him what's wrong, but he won't tell me anything. he would always have these depressing messages about love and how his life is messed up and etc.
what's up with him? is there anything i can do to get us to be as close as before again?
Let him know that even though you have a boyfriend, it doesn't change the fact that he's still your best friend.
Of course, the less (or perhaps more?) obvious cause of his apparent malaise may be an unrequited (or not?) love for you in some fashion. In any case, you should have a heart felt chat with the fellow to find out what's wrong. Do it in person if possible (that is, if you can coax him out of the little emotional dark hole he has dug for himself). He might need a shoulder to cry on after unleashing all of his pent up emotions. Be understanding and comfort him if this happens. After all, he's only human.
Okay, so this is long. But, I went to summer camp with this REALLY amazingly hot guy, well call him Jake. Okay, well I wasn’t exactly nice to Jake. Its kind of confusing but I guess I was jealous that he flirted with a lot of other girls and it was a couple summers ago so I was about 12 and yeah, stupid with boys. I added him as a friend on myspace like forever ago. And, we never really talked on it but I was basically in love with him. He lives like 15 minutes away from where I live. Anyways, I never saw him again and he never commented my myspace or anything. Well, one day, I guess he noticed me because he left me 3 picture comments! They all said “Gorgeous.” And “Youre so beautiful.” I was shocked. And THEN he left me a message that said that he loved me. I know its stupid, but I obsessed. It was about 4 days ago and I cant stop obsessing! So, today I IMed him and he wouldn’t answer. That’s the second time Ive tried. I also left him a message on myspace and he didn’t respond. Its like he doesn’t know me! Why would he say all that nice stuff and then not talk to me? Im so confused.
It sounds like he's playing around with you. Don't attach too much significance to this just yet. Take your time to find out more and attempt to engage him in conversation. Don't act like a love struck ninny by swooning over his every word. Be composed (at least outwardly appear as such) and interact with him like you would any other guy. Lead him on. If he genuinely is interested, he'll pursue. If he drops the ball then you know he was just playing a cruel joke.
Very recently, I found out one of my very best friends (a girl, I am a guy)got a boyfriend. This only happened recently, and I found out via myspace while I was bored and looking through other profiles. I came across hers and noticed all the comments about it, and I looked and checked and found out it was true. No one told me, I just happened across it (although, I am sure I would have found out by tomarrow)
I knew they were good friends, and when I read it, I was happy at first. But soon my happiness for her turned into a sick feeling in my stomach and I felt on the verge of a collapse. I felt sick and desperatly wanted to just go and die. To go away and maybe wake up and realize it wasn't true, to hope it wasn't true. And as reality settled into my mind, I felt the urge to do something I have almost never done, cry.
Every part of my mind says I should be happy for her, to be so glad she finally found someone decent. And I really want to, but my heart won't let me. She has always been there for me and has helped me through alot of bad times and vice versa, I have done the same for her. We've been friends for awile now, and I was always one she would come to for help, and I would do the same thing. I care for her as much as I humanly can.
I don't know why I feel this way, I shouldn't feel this way and yet I do, there is something in me that just won't accept it and is rejecting it completely.
Can anyone please tell me why I still feel like I do? Why a part of me just won't accept it. Won't let me be happy for her?
You have my most sincere thanks...
-Chooses to remain unknown
History is replete with tales of lost loves, tragic romances, and just plain bad timing. You feel the way you do because you've attached something more than simple friendship to your best friend. It happens more often than you think. So what can you do? Well, the best course of action is to TRY to be happy for her. It'll be hell and you will find yourself fighting back very strong feelings that would call for you to be angry and jealous. You may even be tempted to do your utmost to either ruin her relationship with this new fellow or attempt to distance yourself from her. I'd strongly discourage you from adopting either stance. You may have lost a potential girlfriend for now, but you do something foolish you'll also lose a best friend.
We all have to confront situations that we don't like. Do remember that in time everything you're feeling right now will pass. You will be stronger for it.
ok so me and my boyfriend.. are uhm having sex for the first time this weekend. and im a virgin and hes only had it once but hes still more experienced then i am. and well im scared bc i dont wanna be someone who doesnt have a clue what their doing.. so yeah can anyone give me tips or help out?
There are many important considerations you must keep in mind:
1) Make sure it's safe sex. MAKE him use a condom. The last you need is a baby or an STD.
2) If you're at all uncomfortable at any time, know that you have the RIGHT to say "no". Do not let him force anything on you. It's your body and you're in control, not him.
3) If he is forceful, know that any unwarranted and unsolicited sexual conduct upon your person without your explicit consent is rape. This also applies if you suddenly decide that you no longer want to have sex with him whilst in the middle of the act.
4) Do what you're comfortable with and don't feel that you are obliged to carry out the act of intercourse. You have no obligation to him whatsoever.
5) Sex should NEVER be used as a way to preserve a relationship. You cheapen yourself and everything a stable and loving relationship stands for.
15/f
So I have this good guy friend. We dont really hang out outside of school, but we talk all the time in school when we can. Hes in my band class, so we have a few minutes before and after together. He always hugs me, and its like a more than friends hug. He always plays with my hair, tells me I smell good, wants to talk on the phone with me, teases me playfully, etc. He even makes me cute little cards that say things like "if I was in a room with 11 roses and you, I'd be among the 12 most beautiful things in the world" But hes always been a sweetheart. Everyone else notices. They tease us about being married and saying we would be the cutest couple ever. Hes kissed me on the cheek a couple times. But we've always been just friends, neither of us has brought up the subject of being more. well hes treated me this way forever, and I always hear that he likes me. Well the other day, after band, he came and hugged me as usual and was like "what did you do this weekend" (he was still holding me) and I said "it was loooong" he said "Oh really? I spent most of it at my girlfriends house so it went pretty fast for me"
I was shocked. He never told me or stopped treating me the way he does. He still acts like hes in love with me. I dont know whats up. My friend said she thinks hes had a gf for awhile..like a month at least. But thats not for sure, shes wrong a lot. Well I dont know if he honestly thinks of me as just a friend (It sure doesnt seem like it) or if hes doing it to make me jealous (because He seemed like he wanted me to know, the way he said it) because if he is, its definitely working..what do yall think? Thanks in advance!!!!
Here are two possible scenarios for you:
1) He's incredibly shy and wants to ask you out, but is unsure if you like him. Consequently, he might've invented a girlfriend that he can casually mention in order to gauge your reaction. If you appear non-chalant, he'll probably be disappointed (i.e. you don't care either way). If you appear visibly distraught, even for a split second, it might show him that you *do* have an interest, in which case this "girlfriend" of his will make a quick exit sometime in the near future.
2) He's an indecisive clod who's doing his girlfriend a great disservice by flirting around with other girls. If this is the case, you can most certainly live your life without him. Imagine yourself in the position as his girlfriend with him wandering around school touching and making googly eyes at somebody *other* than you.
Prod around gently for more information. Ask who this girlfriend is in a playful manner. Tease him around until he tells you. If the girl in question is real, then consider Point II above. If he gives indications that he's lying about it then consider Point I, but also consider the fact that he lied to you. It's not a BIG lie and you might even say that it was necessary from his point of view, but it was still a lie. Act accordingly.
Okay. The guy I like likes me AND my best friend. My best friend also likes him. Me and this guy had practically gone out in the summer and we were very close, so you can probably understand why I'm still hanging on to him. We're very good friends. And, everyone that I talk to says we'd make such a good couple and we're meant to be. But, my question is, should I still be hanging onto him, or let my best friend have him (even if it does mean I'll be hurt)?
Try to come to a mutual agreement with your friend that you won't let a guy get between the both of you. Although the old saying "all's fair in love and war" certainly applies in most cases, one thing to keep in mind is that it's arguably easier to find a guy than to form a lasting friendship based on mutual trust and understanding with another individual.
Having said that, if you want to rid yourself of the no doubt difficult task of having to choose between your personal interests and those of your friend, I would suggest that you let this guy make the decision. If he has told you that he likes both you and your friend don't you think that it's only fair that HE should be the one mulling over what to do? Making this into a competition between you and your friend will only serve to stroke this guy's ego (i.e. "wow! two girls fighting over me!") Let him do the work. If it turns out that he's indecisive, it's probably an indication that he'll be unable to fully commit his attentions to either of you, a case which will lead to all sorts of headaches and needless drama.
My bf lives in another province because he has to work in the oil rigs. He works very long hours and has no internet so we hardly ever get to communicate. He has a cell but because he's working all the time it's hard to get a hold of him. The last time I talked to him was on Xmas Day.
Should I wait for him to make the next call? I was the one that phoned him on Xmas Day. I personally think he's being insensitive for never phoning.
I'll rate 5's!
Well, good and free communication are keys to any successful relationship, so I think you should give him a call. Don't be overly zealous about it, however. You need to make sure that you don't want to come across as being too clingy and/or jeopardise his job by placing too many unsolicited calls.
It's a fine line you'll have to walk between preserving your relationship and allowing your boyfriend some space with which to perform his duties. However, do ensure that you don't become *too* relaxed in your attitudes toward the subject of his balancing work and your relationship. Give him too much latitude and you'll find yourself playing second or even third fiddle to his career. That, by the way, is a bad thing if your aim is to further develop what you current share with him.
i am certainly not a fat girl, but i am not the skinniest either. i am pretty happy with the way i look, but i want to drop a few pounds/make my stomach flatter. i already know exercises for that & i do them every night, so that's not my problem. the real problem is that i am addicted to chocolate. i want to be able to eat some chocolate maybe once a week for dessert, but i wind up having it everyday, sometimes more then once a day. it's not like i am a horse eating until i pop, but i tell myself i am not going to eat it but then an hour later my mouth starts to water & i can't resist some. i need a way to stop this temptation. how can i take control & not give in to having chocolate? what works for you or other people you know? i need some good tips, so if you have an idea that would be great! thank you!
You can (and should) clear your house of any and all junk food if you want to avoid temptation. Instead, consider some healthier snacking alternatives like raw vegetables, unbuttered popcorn, unsalted nuts, and the like. If you want something sweet, you can purchase dried fruits like raisins, apricots, and banana chips, although I must stress that you should try to ensure that you find organic varieties.
Switching to low-fat chocolate goodies is also an option, but *do* keep in mind that even if something is low-fat, it still has calories so you should use such foods sparingly. Excessive calories is what contributes to the ballooning of children and adults everywhere. Another alternative is chocolate hard candies.
Finally, if you find that you can't resist (and you really ought to work on that "willpower" thing) then you may wish to compensate for the added fat and calories by having smaller portions in other meals. Don't skip actual food for a giant, late night chocolate gorgefest, by the way. Delicious as it may be, chocolate is definitely NOT a food group by itself.
OK here how it is i was offered a modeling contract w/ Aeropostal for 300,000 thosand a year, but here is the deal
i have to loose 80lbs by the end of may, they think of have a very pretty face perfect height right figure, yada yada you know?!
thing is i dont know how to do it, and i need to get started on this ASAP and i really really need this, i mean comeon 300,000 DOLLARS!!!! please help me now i am 220 now its only 80 lbs it will not only boost my self confidance jump start my career but also make my health much much better, wellall the weight taken off. plz help me. i seen them do it on the biggest loser, how did they do it?!
just please anyway possible i dont think i could go anerxic or bulimic tho
Simply put, it's impossible for you to lose eighty pounds in four months in a healthy fashion. The most anybody can expect to lose a week without resorting to extreme measures is one to two pounds of ACTUAL fat and not water weight.
Sure, you can go on a starvation diet and exercise every day and that will help you take off the pounds, but even if you do succeed in peeling of the eighty you want odds are you'll gain all of it back and then some. Why? Because getting the pounds off is only half of the battle. Maintaining your weight is the hard part which requires a complete change in eating and exercise habits.
In any case, I'm not sure how this "Biggest Loser" thing works, but if it's safe and was accomplished within the time frame you're looking at, then by all means make an appointment with your doctor and see what he thinks. Other than that, however, I'm afraid you'll have to shed your pounds the old fashioned way and be patient about it. That is, if you want to avoid anorexia or bulimia.
ok im crazy about my bf. no one knows im dating him. he would do anything for me. but im worried what everyone will think. me and him have talked about it. and he is cool with it. he said it is my life and i can let people knwo about us only if i want. im not ashamed of him by no means. i dont know why i cant tell anyone. he always says that we dotn have to have the whole world nkow about us to have a good relationship. i agree. but i feel like im keeping my life away from everyone. what would you do in my position. ill rate high.
You should make it known. Why? Because if you don't and another girl comes along she'll probably make a move on him. Avoid unnecessary drama and "come out" as a couple.
Unless you like drama.
i dont know what this goes under. but me and my bf have been sexually active. there was a point when we thought i was pregnant. we were relieved when we found out i wasnt. but ive been babysitting a newborn baby. adn she is just so cute. i babysit her for hours 5 nights a week. he helps me. adn he does a great job. we both want a baby now. but were in high school. juniors. how can we get over this. i mean wanting a baby. ill rate high. plez help
Having a baby is a huge responsibility. Consider the following:
1) Earning minimum wage or slightly above minimum wage won't support two individuals, let alone two individuals and a baby.
2) A baby requires constant attention. Be prepared for countless sleepless nights and plenty of stress.
3) Parenting requires emotional and psychological maturity and fortitude. You will need to be able to deal with crises and deal with them effectively.
4) Children are NOT pets that you can get rid of if you tire of them. You can give them up for adoption, but it will KILL you emotionally later on in life. You will forever be thinking about the son/daughter you so haphazardly conceived and let go.
5) When your boyfriend finally gets a whiff of reality and the sheer amount of work that goes into raising a child, he'll probably bolt on you, leaving you a single mother.
6) If you are unable to care for the child, the responsibility will fall onto your parents, which is patently unfair, especially if they are of modest means. How can you feed four mouths when the most you can accomplish is three?
7) A baby will spell an end to your academic life for the time being and with it, any future prospects you may have in mind. Unless you fancy working 60 hour weeks at the local "super mart" to feed and clothe Junior, you'd want to reconsider giving birth at this juncture.
8) If your parents refuse to support you and your baby, you will have to find your own way in this world. No, it won't be easy. In fact, it'll probably be extremely difficult. And harsh. EXTREMELY harsh.
9) Without proper support during his or her formative years, your child may grow up to be a sullen individual who will resent you for the rest of your life for being so impulsive.
10) Point number nine contributes to the overall idea that *wilfully* having a child without the means to raise him or her well is just about the most selfish and irresponsible thing anybody can do.
I have known this girl since kindergarden right. Now we are in 8th grade and for some reason, this year i really seem to like her. I mean she is nice, funny, smart, and very beautiful. How can i not like her. But the problem is, i have trouble finding the courage to ask her out. I am good with girls in the sense of friendship, but when it comes to love life, im a mess. I am 14 and she is 13. i am 11 months older than her but i really dont see that as an issue. But i always get nervous when i tcomes to askig a girl out nd i did it once, she said ye, than rejeted me the next day. (that was a different girl). Is it normal to be that nervous? Oh and one more thing, what do you ask when you want to ask her out. I really am not good with "pick-up" line. Thanks
You don't need a pick-up line. In fact, pick-up lines are cheesy and unnecessary. Just be yourself, engage her in some idle conversation and ask her out at the appropriate moment. Don't worry about being nervous, by the way. EVERYBODY goes through the same experience, regardless of whether it's a guy or girl involved.
Oh, and rejection is not something to be feared. You'll have to deal with it in life from time to time and you need to steel your nerves somehow, right?
A woman that I used to be friends with is causing problems for me. Well she was a complete bitch to me. She used me, backstabbed me, blackmailed me, tried to control me, and even broke into my email. She made my life a living hell. It got so bad between us that I had to quit working at my old job that we both worked at to avoid her, and I had to put a block on my phone.
Well it's been two years since I've seen her or spoken to her. I got a new job about 3 months ago at a way better company. It got back to me from another friend that she found out I got this new job and wanted the store number! She was also asking one of my friends when my hours were. I'm worried she is plotting something. Should I be worried?
Yes, you should be worried. This woman sounds dangerous unbalanced and you although you shouldn't be unnecessarily paranoid, you ought to be concerned in any case. Let your employer know about this individual and ensure that none of your friends give out any of your work information. If you experience harassment of any sort, *do* contact the police.
I need help quick!!
OK i used to be best friends with this one gurl (well call her suzie) for a long time but then she started getting on my nerves and we stopped being friends, then i was best friends with somone esle (well cal her dawn) and am still friends with her and now me and suzie started tlaking and they are tottaly different and HATE each other, i like dawn a lot she rocks but the colser i get to suzie the farther i get from dawn and i dont want to lose dawn!! i love her!! as a friend!! i might lose her and end up with suziea dn then we will stop being friends again because our past will catch up with us and well end up in the same fight we had before. what do i do?
Try to build a bridge between this Dawn and Suzie. Find out from each of them what exactly makes them "hate" one another and attempt to bring both parties together in some fashion. You know, you shouldn't allow yourself to placed in a position where you have to CHOOSE one friend and lose the other.
Be a diplomat. Help solve the problem.
well in sixth grade i was a complete loser, i mean ugh i had really curly hair and wore it in a bun, and i wore big clothes. like i didnt even care. and i liked this guy A LOT. his name was david, and like he didnt like me at all. and he hated me in seventh grade. and we havent seen eachother in a year. untill saturday night. and when he saw me. he kept looking at me. and like we cuddled or whatever. and he said he liked me. but like i dunno. sixth grade was weird for both of us. and ive changed A LOT since then. and i just wanna know should i give it a chance?
Perhaps, but don't forget about the past. This attraction he has toward you may be a purely physical thing with no emotional base. You might be setting yourself up for a colossal fall by giving in prematurely.
Be wary.
I'm 13/f and the boy i'm writing about is in my Lit class.
He sits behind me and constantly pokes me and squeezes my shoulder! It's really annoying and I've told him to quit it...but he persists and says "Come on you have sexy shoulders!!" The thing is...i used to like him, but i don't anymore. Does he like me or is he just being annoying. I've seen he does this to other girls...but he never squeezes their shoulders!!
1.Does he like me?
2.HOw can I get him to stop harassing me?!
Even if he likes you, that's a pretty annoying way to show it.
There are two things you can do and each situation depend on whether or not you still "like" him.
1) If you like him, ask him if you likes you and react accordingly.
2) If you don't like him and want to rid yourself of this pest, report him to the school authorities for harassment. Or, if you wish to be unnecessarily wicked, add in "sexual" in front of harassment.
The ball is in your court.
Have you noticed that everything now is sparkly belts, big sunglasses, ripped jeans, granny sweaters, oh and sparkly purses? and those BOOTS? im so sick of it all that is ALL i see in stores oh and those short lil jackets!! UGH!! Does anybody think they know what will be next, i started liking this stuff too late and im getting sick of it cuz i see it on everyone else!! I need some HOT new trends to be the FIRST with it out, i dont wanan follow i wanna LEAD!!
Advice givers we may be, but (for the most part) psychics we are not.
Of course, if you *really* want to "lead" in this respect, I suppose you can get a bunch of friends together and have them wear what you WANT to be the "next best thing" in school. You can...oh...I don't know...start wearing ties. I have no idea.
You'll need a lot of friends and collusion on an epic scale to pull this off.