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Why do I feel this way?
Very recently, I found out one of my very best friends (a girl, I am a guy)got a boyfriend. This only happened recently, and I found out via myspace while I was bored and looking through other profiles. I came across hers and noticed all the comments about it, and I looked and checked and found out it was true. No one told me, I just happened across it (although, I am sure I would have found out by tomarrow)
I knew they were good friends, and when I read it, I was happy at first. But soon my happiness for her turned into a sick feeling in my stomach and I felt on the verge of a collapse. I felt sick and desperatly wanted to just go and die. To go away and maybe wake up and realize it wasn't true, to hope it wasn't true. And as reality settled into my mind, I felt the urge to do something I have almost never done, cry.
Every part of my mind says I should be happy for her, to be so glad she finally found someone decent. And I really want to, but my heart won't let me. She has always been there for me and has helped me through alot of bad times and vice versa, I have done the same for her. We've been friends for awile now, and I was always one she would come to for help, and I would do the same thing. I care for her as much as I humanly can.
I don't know why I feel this way, I shouldn't feel this way and yet I do, there is something in me that just won't accept it and is rejecting it completely.
Can anyone please tell me why I still feel like I do? Why a part of me just won't accept it. Won't let me be happy for her?
You have my most sincere thanks...
-Chooses to remain unknown
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
my advice is probably like everyones elses.
you probably have feelings for her. you guys are so close that you fell in love with the friendship.
also, you're probably afraid that now that she has a boyfriend, she's going to be with him more and talk to you much less.
you're worried that she's going to leave you high and dry and go off with this boy.
don't think that. she's you best friend and if she's REALLY your best friend then she will not leave you. you've taken care of each other and been there through so much. just stay with her through this.
hope i helped :)
;Lex!
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Most of the advice given has mentioned how you have feelings for her.
I am going to go a different route.
I don't doubt that it is very possible that you have feelings for her. But, I think that your agony might be because of a different reason.
It sounds like the two of you have a very close emotional and personal bond. That can be there in abscence of romantic love. You two have been there for EACH OTHER and have always COUNTED ON EACH OTHER when times were bad. These types of friendships can be the closest thing to real genuine intimacy than even love relationships. Most of the time these friendships turn into love, but they DO NOT have to.
The other half of your close and intimate friendship now has someone else to be close and intimate with. Meaning, she will most likely not be coming to you with her hurts and tears. I think that this might also be a huge part of why you are so heartbroken. You may truly love her, but that does not mean you are in love with her. There is a distinction there.
Only you know if you are in love with her or not. You may just be mourning what you see as the loss of your friendship as it has always been.
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you like her. sometimes you don't realize that you like someone until you can't have them.
xO _ aLi mIcHeLLe <3
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History is replete with tales of lost loves, tragic romances, and just plain bad timing. You feel the way you do because you've attached something more than simple friendship to your best friend. It happens more often than you think. So what can you do? Well, the best course of action is to TRY to be happy for her. It'll be hell and you will find yourself fighting back very strong feelings that would call for you to be angry and jealous. You may even be tempted to do your utmost to either ruin her relationship with this new fellow or attempt to distance yourself from her. I'd strongly discourage you from adopting either stance. You may have lost a potential girlfriend for now, but you do something foolish you'll also lose a best friend.
We all have to confront situations that we don't like. Do remember that in time everything you're feeling right now will pass. You will be stronger for it.
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It sounds very much like your feelings for her are more than just "friend" feelings. Your discovery of her boyfriend has just brought the truth out into the light for you.
This is a tough situation.
You could tell her your feelings, and run the risk of alienating her because from her point of view you waited until she had a boyfriend to tell her. It depends on her real feelings for this guy. Is he a "desperation" boyfriend? A boyfriend just for the sake of being able to say she has a boyfriend? Or is he someone she has liked for a while and has strong feelings for?
You could bide your time and wait and see what happens. Statistically speaking, these things don't usually last, though, of course, there are exceptions.
If he's a really good guy and she seems happy with him, there's not much you can, or should, do, other than allow time to ease the pain.
But then again if he's a jerk, and you point it out to her or talk about him in an even slightly negative way, she might resent you for it. (girls are like that.)
Like I said, it's a tough situation. If you are a Christian, my advice is to pray for guidance about it.
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