This is a hard situation in which you don't want to be too foward in case he's just being friendly and then that might screw some things up. On your part you can just make sure you're clear in that your not attracted to him and that it isn't any fun when he does something like that. Some signs that he might be hitting on you is touching you an excessive amount like on the hand or shoulder when his wife isn't around, giving you those certain looks, and an excessive amount of spending time alone with you. Be careful with this because you wouldn't want to screw up the relationship with your friend.
-Hope that helps
-That Advice Lady

Dear Cousin of the victim,
Rape is such a horrible, horrible experience to go through and no one should have to go through it. No one deserves to be raped. After being raped people are no longer who they once were. I suggest that you and your cousin read the book SPEAK. That is a very good book that deals with rape and not speaking out. That should help a lot and if it doesn't then there is still more that you can do. Talk to your parents about rape, ask them what they think about this and ask it as if it was a hypothetical situation. This way you don't have to reveal anything if you don't want to. She said she wanted to end her life and that is a typical result of rape and it should not be her choice. If the world was just than her exboyfriend would be in jail and a ceremony restoring her humanity would take place- but unfortunately that's not the world we live in. You are right to be scared about this and even though it may not feel right, telling her parents and your parents is really the best thing you can do. I hope this helps...

Dear Upset Kid,
Divorce is never easy when you're a child. It was especially hard when I was a kid. I was eight when my parents decided to get a divoce and I felt like my world was going to fall apart. I thought my family was so close and then suddenly they want a divorce. You see, my parents had the most romantic story. They fell in love against their parents wishes. My mom snuck out one night and they eloped and were so happy. They had me and everything was great... or so I thought. What you have to remember, even though a lot of people have probably told you this, is that it is not your fault in any way. People do this, they fall in love and sometimes it just doesn't work out. And while there is a small chance they could work it out, don't get your hopes up because you'll most likely be let down. It's important to know that you want your parents to be happy and them splitting up is making them happy. I know how it feels to sit around watching them split apart and knowing there's nothing you can do. All there is that you can do is be there for support. It will be hard and you may feel like you can't do it but what you have to remember is that time moves on. And i'm sorry to say that it may not get any easier. If they do divorce, they might start dating other people... it could be years from now or maybe even months. It depends on when they're ready. And when they are, remember it's what makes them happy. But don't be afraid to speak your mind if it gets too weird for you.
This is going to be very hard for you, so don't be afraid to ask your parents to talk to you, to let them know how you feel. I Hope this helped.
-That Advice Lady

Dear Helper,
For one thing, you're being a really good friend just by caring at all. If you're really worried about your friend, then ask them to sit down alone with you and have a serious talk. Talk about how you're scared for them. If they deny anything then try talking to a guidance counselor or their parents about it. Try to get it through to them that you think what they are doing is dangerous and need help.
-That Advice Lady

Dear Questioner,
In the off chance that there is some sperm on your toilet there is no way you can get pregnant, unless that is the sperm can jump up inside your vagina all by yourself. I don't mean to make you feel dumb, it's okay, everybody has questions. And if you do see some liquid on you toilet seat, wipe it off! don't wanna sit on that. Hope that helps.
-That Advice Lady

Dear Unsure,
Sex is one of the most amazing things you can do in a relationship. If you're really ready for sex, most often than not, you wouldn't question it. But otherwise, make sure you're really in love with the guy, depending on your age you could be too young and be in puppy love. Also, don't do it just because everyone else is, do it because you think it's time for you two to do it in your relationship. If you're not sure, talk about it with your partner. If you're in the commited relationship that you think you are, he'll help you with the decision, not just urge you to because he wants it. If you want to know if he's the right guy, ask yourself, do you have any doubts... do you feel like maybe there's more out there or do you see yourself with him, do you see yourself not looking to date anyone else... sometimes there's no answer really to know if he is the right guy, sometimes there's just that feeling... And remember, always use a condom, safe sex is the only way, especially if you're not sure. Birth Control Pills may work well against pregnancy, but they do not prevent STD's.
-That Advice Lady

Dear Confused,
You question is a common one, while not all people have STD'S, a lot of people do and many may not know it or may not tell you. You can contract STD's by oral sex, anal sex, or vaginal sex unless a condom is used. And There are small chances you can get an STD anyway, which is why it's important to get tested if you're not sure, or if your partner says they have one. So make sure you always use a condom to protect yourself, and make sure you know how to use it correctly.
-That Advice Lady

Dear Falling Out of Love,
Somtimes you can feel like you're spending too much time with your boyfriend. It's okay, you just need some space. Tell him this, if he really likes you then he'll respect your decision and allow you some time apart. Just make sure you make it clear that you still like hanging out with him. We don't want a "Friends: Ross and Rachel: We were on a break" thing to happen. If this doesn't work and things get worse, maybe you need a step foward in your relationship to make things stronger or maybe you need an actually break, one where you don't see other people, just take time apart to sort things out. If it's not meant to be then it's not meant to be. I hope this helped.
-That Advice Lady

Dear Fat,
Everybody, Everybody, feels self conscious when they stand alone, looking in that mirror. It is so good that you don't buy into the media or feel the need to look like the models. So when you're by yourself, looking into the mirror, look at other things. See your beautiful smile and your beautiful eyes and realize, you're perfect the way you are. Just remember the feeling when you're with your friends, that you're the normal size. You should feel so good about yourself when you look into the mirror, especially knowing that there's girls who are normal size but throw up because they think that are too fat. It's okay to feel self conscious just remember you're beautiful the way you are and not to let the self consciousness come over you.
- That Advice Lady

Dear Scared Out of My Mind,
Anaylze why you're having these problems. Is there any threat from an ex relationship or friend or anything? Is there any recent murders or anything in your town or city? If so, try talking to your parents about this, tell them you're really scared. If you have a dog, try sleeping with it at night, so it would bark if an intruder came in. If you don't then try a night light, it seems childish but if it makes you feel better then go ahead. Go through safety measures with your family, make sure there's no unlocked doors or windows. Also, for protection, try carrying around some mace where ever you go and if need be, when I was younger I stuck a knife under my mattress just to make sure. Remember, it's okay to be scared and your parents will understand, it's not the safest world.
-That Advice Lady

Dear Paige,
Getting over people can be the hardest thing a person can do. Here's what you can do. If you're not friends with him, cut him out. Avoid seeing him, get rid of pictures of you two, and erase his number if you have a cell phone. Then try going on a date with someone else just for fun. If you are moving, it's almost pointless to wait for him to break up because long distance relationships are hard to keep, especially if you're still in school. It will be hard and might really hurt a lot but soon you'll see that a day went by. Then a week. Then a month. and before you know it, it's been five months and you're leaving and you say, "wow, i'm over him... it was hard, but I did it." It may also help to get some closure. Ask Ryan to go out to lunch or meet you somewhere and make some closure. Ask him if he's positive that nothing can happen, that you are trying to get over him and please don't come up to me, that you had fun during the time you were together and you're glad you can leave it on a good note before you move. It will make you feel so much better.
-That Advice Lady

Dear 14 year old male,
Public speaking is the number one fear in the U.S.. There are things you can do to overcome this. You can take a public speaking class. Try making speeches in front of one or two people, then gradually increase. Try even speaking in front of stuffed animals. When you're in front of a bunch of people, don't look at them, look above their heads, so you're talking to the wall. Pretend you're in your room speaking to those stuffed animals again. You're not stuck with it for life.
-That Advice Lady

Ashley,
If it's becoming so much of a coincidence then do this- when you see the clock at like 5:55 for example wait a few minutes- then it will be 5:56... curse broken.
ThatAdviceLady

Dear I can't say hi,
I know what it feels like to go up to someone you really like but get freaked out and totally lose your nerve and run away. The thing out it is though, you will never know if you two could ever get together if you don't ask, even if that is by writing a special valentines, asking him to the winter formal, or just saying, "Hey, i've been wondering- would you like to go to a movie with me?" Imagine if he died tomorrow- and all of the regret you would feel because you were too scared to ask. You have to do it soon before it's too late and even if it doesn't work out you can finally get over the crush and go back to being friends. And if you can't find the nerve to talk to him- write him a note- seems a little impersonal but sometimes it helps. But make sure you write it, wait, read it over, and when you're sure- give it to him- no regrets.
-ThatAdviceLady

Dear Lost At Thought,
First off- you're a very good friend for being concerned with this issue. Second off- your friend saying she was shy doesn't necessarily mean that she wanted to go through with it. It could be under the category of rape. Luckily the father came home before anything serious happened. You should talk to your friend, ask her if she really did want it, because most likely you're not ready in the eight grade especially if it's a first date. Ask her if she was just trying to please the guy or be cool and tell her it isn't cool and she shouldn't have to please anyone, if you're in a real relationship, respect is key. He should respect her. If she doesn't want to talk about it then try the mirror approach. Ask her to look at herself in the mirror and ask if what she sees is someone who would really do something just to please a guy on the first date. She should say no. If she starts to break down, console her, be a friend. If she says she does want to do that kind of stuff, tell her you understand, you may not think it's right but tell her to be careful, use protection. And if she's not okay then try to convince her to talk to a guidance counselor about this.
-ThatAdviceLady

Okay, here's the answer. No body is comfortable around everybody, especially people you're not really friends with. Don't be afraid to interact with your class mates outside of class. This may make it easier in class to be less shy. If you don't like or don't seem like you will like anybody in that class then that's okay too. You don't have to bee funny around everybody, just focus on your school work in that class and occasionally participate.

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