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Girlfriend has a wierd issue with me.
This is probably going to sound pretty fucking wierd, but it bothers me.
Ok, Im dating this girl. Shes agnostic/athiest, Im christian, formerly catholic non denominational. Up to this point, with the exception of discussion, Ive not really had any issues with religions shit in our relationship. It doesnt bother me that shes agnostic, it hasnt bothered her that Im christian.
So, today we were talking, and I told her I was going to become a reverend in the universal life church. For those of you who dont know, its an online website where you can actually get legally ordained and become a reverend in the eyes of the law. I find this fucking hilarious, and have wanted to for a while, but never got around to it.
She reacted badly. First, she joked that she didnt want to be involved with a reverend. Then she got serious and basically made it clear that it would bother her for me to become a reverend while I was dating her (expressed so that it was clear she didnt want me to do it)
Then she tells me its "disrespectful towards my religion"
This is coming from a girl who Ive watched the jesus episodes of southpark with. Whom I have made catholic joke after catholic joke (Im entitled, I was raised in it) with and laughed with her. Whom I have had frank discussions about the real failings of certain christian sects.
And now this.
Needless to say, I reacted badly. I was, and am pissed at her, for reasons I cant really say. Given that she doesnt even have a religion (because atheism and agnosticism are no more religions than bald is a hair color) I dont see where she gets off getting on me for being "disrespecful" towards mine or having an issue with it when its not like...
Anyway. Enough impassioned speeches, my question to the masses, is what do you think. Am I out of line? Is she? Because Im going to do this, and shes not going to like it. And I dont like feeling guilty for doing things I know arent wrong.
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You both have issues with the actions of the other...you talked about it calmly and coherantly I presume? Then it's up to you. Is it more important for you to participate in this "joke" or to respect your girls' wishes? No it isn't a big deal but the implications are significant in the choice you make.
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She's out of line.
Totally. Just tell her its a joke, and she'll understand.
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I'm going to be honest here so please don't take what I say the wrong way. There are a few things I want to talk about. First, becoming a reverand is not a joke. It's not something you should do because it's funny or just because you can. I'm not discouraging you from doing it and frankly there's nothing I can do to stop you, but becoming a reverand is something that you need to take seriously. Yeah, it would be fun to marry someone, but come on. There's a lot more to being a reverand than that. I'm not questioning your faith or your dedication to God, but your attitude just doesn't seem right for something like that. You are what I would call a casual Christian. Nothing wrong with that, but reverands are much more dedicated than you are. The main reason I'm saying this is because you haven't tried to convert your girlfriend. Whether you want to do that is up to you, but part of being a reverand is bringing people to God. Secondly, your girlfriend has every right to be upset. Not upset with you, but upset with the situation. She's an atheist, if you two stay together for a long time, she's not going to want to be a reverand's wife especially if you're not even serious about it. To her it seems so unnecessary and immature. Atheism may not be a religion in your eyes, but it is what she believes. Thirdy, this kind of stuff should be very expected in a Christian/Atheist relationship. I know that you've gotten along and been respectful towards each others' beliefs thus far, but somewhere along the line you two were bound to butt heads over something. Try to think of it a different way. Lets say that your girlfriend was a vegetarian and you weren't. You likely wouldn't have a problem with her choice, but it would make your relationship difficult. When you went out to eat you might not be able to go to your favorite restaurant and if your relationship went as far as you two living together, what would you do for meals? What would you raise your kids as were you to have them? If your relationship with this girl is going to work you're going to have to do a LOT of talking and even more compromising. All that being said, I do not think that you should become a reverand. If the main reason you want to do it is "for fun" it's not a good idea. Sleeping with another girl might be fun, but that's not something you'd do with a girlfriend in the picture, well I would hope not anyways. If you're serious about your relationship with her, this isn't a good idea. What you need to do is decide which is more important to you. Your girlfriend or becoming a reverand. I know it's terrible to put it that way, but I think you have to. It doesn't have anything to do with religion at this point. You've both already accepted each other. I hope that you didn't take offense to anything I said, I meant none. I wish you the best of luck.
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I don't think your wrong, ...and I don't see how being agnostic is a religion, if she doesn't believe an anything, what gives her the right to jugde the people that do? Maybe I'm wrong, but why is she mad at you in the first place? Thats stupid. Thats my opinion.
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Well, you should do what you want to do. However, I wouldn't advise becoming a reverend as a joke; not that you necessarily have to turn this goal into your whole life, but don't be disrespectful to your own or any other religions while doing this.
As for the way your girlfriend reacted, I can see how she was upset if it's because you're doing this as a joke.
I can also see how she's mad at you for not taking atheism and agnosticism as religions--true, they aren't really religions like Christianity or something, but those words do more or less describe the religious beliefs of many people.
However, if she's mad at you for wanting to become a reverend, regardless of whether or not it's a joke, I think she may have reacted a bit too strongly. If you really want to do this (not as a joke), and if she really wantss you to be happy, then she ought to let you do your own thing as long as you don't pressure it onto her.
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omgg i want to do that! hahaha. thats histerical! whats the site or whatever?
i think that she'll probably get mad at you. but if its something you have your heart set on then you should do what you feel is right. if you want to be able to say that you've married people then you should tell your gf that you really want this title of reverend.
i hope i helped
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I hate to be the one to break this to you but you, sir, are no Christian. For someone raised in a Catholic background, you certainly have a foul mouth, a flagrant disregard for others religious beliefs, a great deal of disrespect for the men and women who have trained hard to become ordained ministers, and a severe lack of forgiveness. If you do this as a joke I guarantee you that not only will your girlfriend leave you (and rightfully so) but you will find yourself in your own personal Hell. Normally I'm not this preachy to people but I have to say I am appaled at your actions. You go ahead and rate me a 1 for my advice. God will rate me a 5 in His book, and that's where the points really matter.
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Disrespectful towards whose religion? Yours or hers?
If she means yours, I see where she's coming from, but it's not her place to decide whether or not it's right. You're the one who grew up in the religion, it's up to you to decide.
Honestly, don't throw away your dreams because of a girl. I have no way of knowing the status of your relationship, but I'm going to go out on a limb here & say that it probably won't last forever. If this is really what you want to do, don't let her stop you. If she loves you, she should respect your hopes and dreams.
Communication and understanding go a long way. Discuss it calmly; make sure you get to express your feelings but hear her out as well. Neither of you are out of line, you just have differing opinions.
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ok, she should respect your decision, but you should respect what she says as well. it sounds like she was a bit out of line in getting mad, but the last thing you should do is get upset with her for getting mad at you, major downward spiral. your right, shes not going to like this, and just to warn you your relationship with her may come to an end over it, so think about it; which means more to you- her or being an internet priest.
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I think you're both overreacting. It sounds like you kind of sprung that on her, and she wasn't prepared for it. I probably would have reacted the same way. She was probably thinking, "Whoa. I thought I knew him, and now he's a Jesus Freak." That was probably just her instant reaction, though. She needs time to let it settle in. How long ago was this? If it was just today, she may just need a day or two to get over it. And then you both need to do some serious communicating. I really don't think this is worth losing your relationship over, if you both try to see each other's point of view that won't have to happen. All relationships have road blocks. And trust me, even if you both identified yourself as being the same religion, whatever that was, you would find that your actual beliefs are pretty different. Being able to agree on everything doesn't make a good relationship. It's being able to work through your disagreements and compromise that makes a relationship strong. Sorry if I'm wrong, but from the way your question sounds it seems like this is your first big fight with her. Get used to it, because that's going to be half your relationship. But it's obvious you care about her and she cares about you, so don't give up.
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You're going to do this because you think it's hilarious right? It's no big deal. You just think it's funny. Have I got that right?
Well clearly she doesn't think it's funny, and I'm inclined to agree.
Being agnostic or an atheist may not be a 'religion' but is a system of belief. The fact that the two of you can discuss your beliefs openly and with respect would make me think that you take personal belief in any form and under any name to be some thing important and an integral part of human life.
Joking about the shortcomings of a organized religion or religious icons doesn't seem to be quite the same to me as choosing to express publicly and legally that the title of Reverend, which in nearly any other case you would have to study for years and dedicate your life to, is nothing more to you than funny. You are offering the people who choose that calling quite a deep insult, and not really a very clever or sophisticated one either. When I was in school becoming a Reverend in this way is a fad among 13 year old boys! At 21 don't you hold yourself to a higher standard of humor then that? And even if you don't, can you see how this isn't a satirical TV show, this is who you are, this is your identity you are turning into a joke.
Sure. Maybe she is out of line being so offended, but you are just as guilty for clinging stubbornly to a lame joke when it is obvious it upsets her. Would you tell dead baby jokes over and over again if they made her cry? I certainly hope not.
If you really want to do this, come up with a better reason then shits and giggles. Then you might have my support.
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I think it may be the fact that you consider it "hilarious" that is rubbing your girlfriend wrong. She may think you're doing it more as a joke than actually being called to serve that way. If you're truly serious about becoming a reverend, I would suggest sitting down with your girlfriend and explain your reasoning. I would also consider looking towards a more traditional path to becoming a reverend, for instance seminary school. I think it would help to show your girlfriend that you're serious about this. Good luck.
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If you really cared about her you wouldn't do this. Truth is, you ARE being disrespectful to your religion. This IS wrong and you should feel guilty. Unless, you seriously want to become a reverend then do it some other way. Your girlfriend is only respecting your religion and you shoud respect her for it.
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You OBVIOUSLY don't care about your girlfriend. I know my boyfriend wouldn't do ANYTHING like that if he knew I cared about it so much. You need to chill.. it's your choice- your girlfriend or some stupid reverend thing you want to do.
Something like this really is a disgrace to all Christians. I'm a Catholic and don't consider myself highly religious, but THIS goes too far.
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