|
My sister's new relationship
13/m. I have a sister who is 14. Where we live, stuff happens slowly. It's not like in NYC where everyone loses their virginity at, like 13. My sister finally got her first boyfriend. I'm not too worried about that. But, they're taking everything too fast: one week, they're dating. Another week, they're holding hands. This may not seem like much to you, but where I live it is. And now yesterday---they've been together 2 months, tops---they both had their first kiss.
I've been trying to get more info, but she's really private about this. I asked her if it was just a peck or if she made out, and she said that it was about 5 seconds. Is that long for a first kiss? And I asked her when, and she showed me a ring that she got from him. Unfortunately, I suck at taking hints, so I still don't get it.
She doesn't want to tell anyone about anything that happens. My other sister and my parents are still completely unaware that they've done so much as hold hands, and she doubts she'll tell them about kissing any time soon.
So, I was just wondering, is this too fast, am I worrying too much, will she be turning into a sex-obsessed slut any time soon, and how can I get her to communicate more? "Why do you need to know?" she asks. Well, I intend on getting a girlfriend this year, and I'm gonna have to learn somehow, right? No smartass answers. Thanks! =)
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
LMFAO!
First kiss after ONLY two months?
Wait? Did you say yesterday they had their first kiss? Rewind! They are NOT having sex. I am SORRY. Your sister, and that boy, move reallly slow. They might be in love or something.
Two whole months. O_____O
Not having sex. But if they do, its none of your buisness.
And if they DO have sex, she's not going to become a slut. Girls having sex doesn't mean they are dirty or wrong. I have a sexually active friend and she only sleeps with her boyfriend, and they've been together for a while.
BTW, two months is A LONG EFFING TIME!!!!!!!!!
I cannot stress how long that is on highschool terms.
--DM
PS. I think you're being...well, in to be straight, a sexist bastard. You're asuming your sister will be a whore just because she likes a guy.
WAKE UP!
Have respect for your sister and butt out. NEVER EVER ask a woman about her sex life, unless you happen to be dating her.
EVER.
If you were my brother, you'd have bruises. How could you even think of your sister as a slut? Have a little faith in her, for God's sake.
-sigh- I'm sorry I sounded so harsh. I just got a little angery. You really need to have faith in your sister, and let her make her own choises. She's your older sister; she's wiser, she's lived longer.
]
Leave your sister alone. It's nice to have a protective brother, but God, let her live. Holding hands and kissing after going out for 2 months is not a big deal at all. If you know your sister, you should know she wouldn't turn into a "sex-obsessed slut". It's her personal life. Obviously she isn't going to tell her brother how she kisses her boyfriend.
]
Ha. Loser. Im not trying to be a smartass. A usual first kiss for me with my boyfriend happens anywhere from the first day to maybe a week. So no, your sister is not going to be a slut.
]
ok you are the little bother of course you are going to protect your oldest sister and a 5 second kiss is not making out and just tell your sister that to watch out with him and if she keeps making out then yes she will be a slut to other guys and gurls but she needs to really slow it down what all little brothers normally do is that they spy on their big sister's boyfriends and for two months already and they have done that far believe me she is not no slut i know what i am talking about because that happens to everygurl in my school either there a slut or there a whore.
]
HELL NO!!!
I'm in a va suburb and people make out in the movies in 5th grade.
2 months is a looonggg time for a first kiss, no matter what town you live in.
If they were going fast, like making out on the first date, I would watch and monitor it a little bit, but she's not going to become a slut if she makes out with a guy after like 3 months of dating... thats longer than average.
So don't worry!!
Your sisters also old enough to make descisions herself, so if she's in trouble, I'd trust her to tell someone or break up with him.
If you're really that worried, just kind of slightly pay attention, but don't listen in to phone convos or be a secret agent gathering info about your sister.
Not cool lol.
Good luck! Don't worry!
Kylie
]
looks like you ae a really caring brother, anyway the ring if it was a diomand then she was telling you that they were going to get married someday or that she is saying that they are doing more than kissing if you know what I mean,and if your sister goes out with different guys a week that would make her a slut if she is going around and fooling around with them that is, and it depend on how old she is if she is over 16 she is probally most likely having sex with the guy if they are going fast or if she is younger than that then she is probally not. I dont mean for you to do this but if she has a diary then read that, and see what she wrote in it about her boyfriend you will know everything.
I hoped i helped good luck!
sarah
]
Shes right, why do you need to know, you may care for her but is that really an excuse to stick your ore in??? at the end of the day, she is old enough to make her own decisions, if she wants to kiss him after 2 months (which is actually quite along time when you think about it)
They are dating, which means they are aloud to hold hands, thats the whole idea of dating, to be close to someone you love, kissing is a way of showing affection and she is private because she dosn't want her little brother snooping around, keep out of thre business and let them geton with it, you would not like her snooping around when you get a girlfriend would you?
Chandler
]
ok.
i no kids who have kissed after 2 days. its not a big deal. after 1 day, they hold hands.
and the ring is probaly only a promise ring.
your sister isn't a slut, its not to fast if they have been goin out for two months, and just sit her down and talk about anything. start out talkin about a movie or something and then change the subject slowly.
ps-- i hope this wasn't a smartass anwser.
IM me if u wanna talk more.
]
that is so freakin cute how you care about your sister but i know your thinking shes taking stuff to fast but she really isnt its 5 seconds.. not that much so just relax i know it worrys you alot but trust me its normal and okay for her to do that i just think your scared for her and your worrying alot she wont turn into any kind of slut or anything and just talk to her about it and ask her why she never tells you but wow you scare alot for her and thats a good thing hope everything goes okay ♥
]
I'm probably not the first one to say this, but they are not taking it too fast- I don't care where you live. It's nice of you to care about her but lighten up, okay?
]
Caring about your sister is extremely admirable. Unfortunately, you are being rather judgemental in the way you are treating her, and I think you need to rethink exactly what it is that bothers you about her behaviour.
You think it's acceptable for you, who are younger than your sister, to have a girlfriend, and your language suggests that you don't object to your sister having a boyfriend in itself, as you say she "finally" has one. Is it then the physical dimension the relationship has taken, or just the speed of it?
I obviously live in quite a different culture from you, so my telling you that two months isn't extremely quick probably won't console you much. What I will say is that relationships are extremely personal, and that there is no universal time when it's right or wrong to kiss somebody, or take your relationship to the next level, whatever that might be. Whether you should or should not depends wholly on whether the people concerned feel ready and want to. In this situation, the people concerned are your sister and her boyfriend, not you: if they felt ready, wanted to and enjoyed the experience together, what exactly is wrong about it?
I sympathise that you might not like the idea of your sister being in any way physical with a guy - she's your sister, and it's difficult to imagine her in this light, and of course, your protective side that doesn't want to see her get hurt kicks in. But you do just have to accept that romantic and sexual desires are a natural part of youth, and that your sisters behaviour is normal and healthy.
Your concern for your sister's wellbeing is understandable, but you do need to take a step back and let her get on with her own life. Incessantly questioning her about exactly what she's done with her boyfriend will only result in annoying her or driving her away so she no longer feels she can confide in you. Let her know that you think she's taking it a bit fast, that you don't want to see her hurt and she should be careful, but then leave it - if she wants your advice, she'll come to you. You seem to have a good relationship at the moment to be able to talk about these things to begin with, so don't ruin it by being excessively nosey - everyone needs their private life and emotions. Trying to force details out of her when she doesn't want to give them will just make her resent you for probing (and this is true pretty much universally), and, to be perfectly honest, the details really aren't any of your buisness anyway.
As a final word - "slut" is vile language to talk about anyone, especially your sister. Think about what you are really saying before you use it again.
]
its your sisters business on what she does with boys. i dont tell my little sister what i do with my boyfriend. then again my sister is 5 1/2 years younger then me... but anyways... shes probably just excited about having her first boyfriend and wants to be a typical 14 year old girl in a relationship. holding hands and kissing at 14 is totally normal too. shes not telling you whats going on between her and this guy and a first kiss is only right when its 'the right time' so for her, the right time has already come. its different for everyone so you shouldnt compare your sisters relationship to your future ones. as of her saying "why do you want to know" , i understand that you are concerned but think of it as the other way around... would you want her asking you who youve been making out with?? and you asked is 5 seconds long??? maybe where you live it is, but not down here is st.louie thats for sure! so ask people who live around you! i hope i helped!
XO KALIE
]
Your sister probably thinks that you're simply being nosy. She, most likely, has no idea that you are worried about her. Tell her, when you both are alone, and calmly, that you are worried about her.
Now, you're the younger brother, so she might not take you seriously (That's just how most older siblings are). But, it's worth a shot. Talking to her is the best way to get her to communicate with you more.
Be warned that she might not tell you much, since most people like to keep that kind of stuff private. That doesn't mean that they're having sex, though.
5 seconds isn't too long of a kiss, really. It's kind of in the middle; not long, but not really short.
As long as you know your sister is responsible and respects herself, and if her boyfriend is respectable, there isn't too much of a reason to worry.
Not ALL girls become sex-obsessed when they get their first kiss. It just depends on the girl and her morals. A girl can like her boyfriend a lot, but not have sex with him. Basically, what I'm saying not all girls become "sex-obsessed sluts."
Honestly, I don't understand the whole ring thing... that sounds a bit weird to me.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders
]
Well, in the modern day world, that isn't fast at all. You should be happy for her. And like assuager said, its her business not yours. I mean, the same thing is going to happen to you, and you don't want her all in your business do you? You should think of it from her point of view. It's her first boyfriend that she really likes and they've kissed so what? And 5 seconds isn't making out. That's a totally different story. She's not going to turn into a whore anytime soon. So just chill, relax, and stay out of her business because you don't want her to do the same whenever you get a girlfriend....do you?
Anyway, I wish you luck!!!
♥Paige
]
Well i wish my bro cared that much about me. No they really arn't moving too fast,and dont listen to the guy below, your just concerened. YOUR SISTER HAS A BOYFRIEND. you just need to except that girls get wacky around guys they like, especcially if the guy likes them to. and i am 13 and i have had a bf and we ...well we never kissed but you get my point. your sister is growing up and you should probably be glad shs's telling you as much as she is. but hey things will get better and try to stay cool, just don't tell your perants enless you absulutly have to, your sis will hate u if you do. but things will get better and just dont overreact ok? and if she's a christian she wont do anything. wait, how old is her bf? i hope he's not too much older because u will have a reason to worrie, hope i helped. bye Merry CHRISTmas!
"kiss kiss"
~daphne
]
WELL! i hope your happy but i think your nosie!
but if you want a girlfriend just tell your sissy
what do you do and stuff, but 5 seconds is nothing for a 1st kiss.
and holding hands is really nothing but i guess where you live is but yeah.
hih!
dreamist16
]
More Questions: |