If you are truly sorry for what you have done, then God has forgiven you, even if you havn't asked for it. Remember: there is rejoice in heaven over 1 who repents rather than 99 who remain faithful. Use this and any other past experiences to remind you of what you felt like afterwards - and that doing things like that got you nowhere. He will continue to forgive you if you are truly sorry and really do want to make things better and be a better person. Mortal sin, if you are familiar with that, is not a one time thing. You can't commit a mortal sin in once isolated act. Mortal sin is sin that causes a seperation from God; it is determined by full knowledge, full consent, and intentions. It is gradual and is done by many, many acts. Right now you are not guilty of that, and God will forgive you.

How do you stop this? Depends. Have you ever been caught? Gotten in a lot of trouble for it? If you felt guilty about it, then that means you are upset because you hurt somebody knowingly. Guilt is not a bad thing. Use that to remind you not to do those things. Say to yourself: hmm ok maybe this time I don't have to do/say this. Pray often, and everytime you do, remember to end it with asking God the power to be a better person in that area. Hopefully the constant reminder will sink in on itself, and God will help you.

Write it all down. Everything. What you did, how you did it, what you were thinking, and how you feel now. You need to vent and let it all out. You also need to tell somebody about it. Giving it back to her in person and explaining how you felt and what you did and everything will take that part off your conscience. Realize that while God will always forgive you, constantly and repetatively doing those things will only hurt the relationship between you and God, you and the people you know, but most of all you and yourself. Learn to live with yourself and learn that learning from your mistakes and remembering them is what makes you a better person. Hope that helped and good luck.


P.S. If you live in NY, please drop me an inbox. This recently happend to my sister and was just wondering if my strange coincidence you could be related to this. No offence or anything, but it is a small world. Thanks, and if you're not, sorry, don't take it personal!

The better question is: do you want the guys to like you for the e-mails, or for you? Be yourself and if you really need to, use the e-mails as 'guides'...not as answers or rules you have to follow. Don't stress out. Want to know what? Things might not have wored for you with the e-mails on the other guy because you might not have been yourself.

So I say be yourself, and go for whoever you want. Who are you better friends with? Ultimately, you should want the one you are best friends with in a relationship. That takes time, so don't expect to be in a relationship by September or something. You don't need any advice tips or relationship help like that - not if you know how to be yourself, be a friend, and remember that people need to like you for what you do on your own, not because of outside help like that. Not to say it isn't helpful, but it's not always useful to go by it too much, to the point where you aren't you again.

Try to be friends with the guy again, and apologize letting him know everything you did (with the e-mails). Why? Because he should know you for who you really are, and could give you the chance to start your friendship all over again. Hope that helped and good luck.

Yes you still need to get a permit, and you should try the guidance department of your local high school. Call them to see when they are open - they should be (don't forget, summer school is still going on).

In terms of jobs, don't go for the highest paying job right away. Why? Well because that could turn out to be a bad starting experience. Instead, visit some places that you really like to be at and you are comfortable. Cashier at a small store or grocery shop - not a bad start. Probably a better way to go because you interact with more people and get a chance to really adjust to all differnt kinds of people. Your favorite clothes store maybe? Give it a shot. Hope that helped and good luck.

To get pictures onto the iPod, you need a folder for iTunes to go to. Under Edit > Preferences > iPod > Photos. Find the folder that you have set up and remove the pictures from there. Update you'r iPod, and the pictures you had there will be removed once update is complete. Hope that helped.

Hmm I get what you mean. It's fine, nothing you should worry about though. Honestly, almost everyone is so used to saying stuff like that - that is why people may do so without noticing that they could be offending somebody or misusing the term. If you are sensitive about it, then thats ok. Just don't go too far with it by being mad at people or trying to constantly correct people in a mean way. So long as you stick to it and say it the way you want to, I'm sure you'll be ok and nobody will give you a hard time about it. If they do, ignore them; they are the ones being too sensitive about it. Hope that helped.

Get them both in the same room and bring it up again. If your mom tells you its true, but your father tells you its not, then they will settle it out themselves instead of leaving it up to you to decide. By making sure they are in the same room, they will both hear what the other says. I know it might not be an easy thing to do or bring up, but when my parents say something like that to me [contrasting things I mean] I do that and they basically talk it out between themselves. Is the relationship between your parents ok? If so then bring it up anyways and ask them that they tell you the truth. They are your parents, and I don't see why they would or should lie to you. If its true, telling you when it happened or when you were 10 wouldn't have had the same effect as you are now at 17, because now you can actually understand what that means and can think for yourself and yeah. Hope that helped and good luck.

Well it would seem that the best thing to do would be to get your friend to change back to the way she was. Is that happening anytime soon? Sorry, probably not. So what do you do? Realize that by being her you increase your chances of getting in trouble...plus it doesn't seem like she's a good influence on you. Try talking to her again and explain to her how you and everyone feels. If she doesn't want to listen, then thats her fault. You might want to be her friend, but she might not want to be your friend, and if thats the case then theres not much a friendship there at the moment. I wouldn't suggest hanging around her with a bunch of other people either; it might be a bit better if it was people you knew who weren't like the way she is or just the two of you. If things don't shape up anytime soon, then let go of her. She is her own self and will continue to be. What do you do? Be there if she wants to talk or needs help. But unless she asks you, don't try to interfere and change her, because she could end up hating you or try to harm you, or you could just get hurt by doing so. I'm sorry but from what you've said it doesn't seem like she's willing to change for the better anytime soon. She could be going through tough times, but if she has you to fall back on when she realizes what she is doing, then that could spark the re-beginning of your friendship. But for now, talk to her, see if you can do something with her that doesn't involve too many people, but don't expect too much; just know that people change, and losing that friendship might be temporary but not be as hard as having something bad happen to the two of you or something. Hope that helped and good luck.

Yeah at most, talk to your friend about it. Tell her that what she did (if you think so that is) is wrong. Why? Well going to the guy would involve you in the whole mess. Ever heard of the game 'kill the messanger'? Either way, by you telling the guy somebody will get hurt. So you shouldn't try to break things up between them - if it is going to go downhill then let it do so on its own. Yes, I know - you want to help and you feel bad... but taking a matter like that into your own hands makes it seem like you are intruding, and not too many people like that. Hope that helped and good luck.

This is a tough cookie. Sit yourself down and sort out your feelings. Why are you still around with your boyfriend? If he really loved you then that means he has to respect you, be responsible with you, care about you, and know about you and what is going on in your life (as well as what you need). From what you said that doesn't seem to happen too often. Why do you love him? Why does he refuse to let you go? Think this through and see if you really do love him for who he is.

Talk to your boyfriend after you've thought things through. If you can't come up with an answer as to how you feel about him or the other guy, thats ok. Let him know about how you feel even if it is not just one certain way (sorry if you already have). Ask him if he is going to put in his part for your relationship, and mean it. He should be aware of what he is doing, and not abuse you mentally, physically, or emotionally. Why does he do those things? If you don't know, then ask. Find out what he means when he says he loves you, to see if it matches up or is anywhere near what you mean by loving him. What I mean by that is that you could both have different ideas of what love is and how to show it. So talk about that letting him know how you feel, and ask for some feedback as well. About the cheating...well yes it is terrible, but is this the first time? If not, then who's to say it won't happen again. Ask him why he did, and see what the chances of it happening again are. Most people deserve second chances, but if it keeps happening like that...then yeah.

Now about this other guy. Why do you like him? Is it just because of the way he treates you and what he offers you? I'm not saying you don't, but it is a must that you get to know him for what he is, both good and bad - the whole entire him. I wouldn't rush into anything with him, just for the simple reason that you could later realize something you didn't notice that you wouldn't like. So while he does sound promising and better, still get to know him and everything. Nothing wrong with being better friends.

So think things through with yourself, that is, what your true feelings about both of the guys. I don't approve of him not letting you do things or go places or see people (as friends). You said he refuses to let you go? How so? Does he threaten you? If so, then I would not stay because of that. If you do, what will stop him from threatening you with anything else? If you two are only in a relationship, that does not mean it is permanent and has to remain so. In other words, you should both be free to call things off if either of you wanted to. You don't have to stay just because he wants you to; and vice versa, if he really didn't want to be around, whats the point of making him stay - chances are things won't be as enjoyable or it would lead to problems anyway. Sorry for my super-long answer. I hope that helped and good luck - just think things through and talk to your boyfriend, then decide - remember, only you can ultimately decide for yourself, not me, another columnist, or your boyfriend.

Hey there! Stick with country. Or wait, are you playing music to please others so they like it? or is it because it is the music you like?

Keep it and stay that way, don't change. Really, I don't mind country, but I like all types of music. Don't feel like you have to change for people to like you or your music, somebody will. Go for it, keep writing your music, and best of luck! Music rocks!

Hmm. Go for it. So long as it's not something profane or diabolical, I don't see what would be wrong with it. Not saying it has to be a cross or something. So long as it's not offensive, then you're good to go.

First of all thanks for droppin it in my inbox, feel free to do so any other time. Personally I think thats rude and disrespectful, even if the girl doesn't notice. I actually don't do that, but yeah I do go to an all guys school (no I'm not gay). As to why guys do it all the time, I'm guessing theres more than one reason, but I'll ask around right now to see if I can get different answers.

Some said that it's just in our nature. I think that maybe after a few times of doing it, it becomes almost natural, like without thinking about it.

Could also be unintentionally. How? Well I think it's safe to say that on average, most guys are taller than most girls. Which means that in a normal conversation, at a relatively close distance, the guy would have to end up looking down towards the girl, and probably that general area too.

I don't think that there is a clear cut reason as to why guys do. Probably just accustomed to it. Oh yeah also note that a good number of girls dress a bit...revealing, more than they should. Do you know what I mean? So to answer your question, I'm not 100% sure if there is just one answer. It would probably be because of a combination of the fact that some girls try to show off and that some guys are used to it to the point where its natural and don't think twice about it. Hope that helped, and feel free to ask me anything else.

Hey Jack. You wanna make sure that you at least get the College Board review book for the SATs, its a big blue one. Go through that and do the practice tests on your own to see how you do. You'll be taking the PSATs in the fall, which is a practice to see where you are. Since it is the summer, I would strongly advise you (and I'm telling you this because it would have helped me a great deal) to do at least an hour of work a day. An hour is not that much at all for this work. Whether it be math or reading or writing, try to get used to the type of questions they ask and how they ask it. In terms of courses I'm not too sure, but for self prep you definately should get that book. For math, I would suggest the Barrons prep book, it explains the answers and has a lot of problems, plus how to do the problems. To get good at the reading section you need to do just that - a lot of practice reading sections. So use your summer time wisely. Really though don't worry too much about it. You want to really get used to knowing vocab words and formulas now so that the night before you can have a quick and easy review, which would help a lot more than trying to cram everything in. Hope that helped and good luck.

Thanks again for the inbox hit. Yeah sure I think that she should definately meet him in person, over for dinner or lunch or something. If it's a personal grudge then there might not be much you could do about that with your sister - thats her own deal.

If he is respectful to adults (and you of course), then have him over and introduce him to your parents. Most of the time (yeah even my parents) don't want me going to places or seeing people that they don't know. Why? For the simple reason of protecting us. Really, they don't mean to harm us; they are watching out for us. So I'm sure that once your mom meets him she will ease up and be more...willing to let you guys talk and hang out more.

So give it a try but don't try to push things or force things on, ya know? Don't stress out that you like him or that you want to be with him all the time, because that is when parents get concerned. Should you tell them? Of course you should! Right away before meeting him? Maybe not, because chances are they would get the wrong idea about it and (unfortunately) automatically think that something is wrong with him, ya know? Talk to him and your parents and have him come over to talk - just about normal things, not so much about your friendship together. If you do give it a shot, good luck and I hope that helped. Feel free to ask me about anything else anytime.

P - pressure
R - rest
I - ice
C - compression
E - elevation

You should be jusssss fine! Feel better =)

First off, thanks for dropping it in my inbox, feel free to do so any other time. From what you told me it seems that your sister and your mother are trying to watch out for you. Even though its 2 years and 3 grades difference, its a lot more than you think, trust me. I've been there both and its a huge jump.

Well...personally, I would advise you to wait and find somebody else. Why am I saying that after you told me not to? Because I'm also a junior and while I don't mean to judge...that sometimes leads to bad news; I've had friends of my younger brother who have had that happend to. From my point of view, you havn't had enough experience to really know what he is like not from what he tells you, but from what you see...both good and bad.

But on the other hand...if you do want to convince your mother to let him talk to you again and vice versa, ask her if it would be ok to invite him to dinner. That might not work. It is a tough situation. You might be better off waiting until you are a bit older, where they would trust you more. If they both expect you not to talk to him, then it doesn't seem like there is much you could do to get them to change their mind. If thats the case, then you might want to ask Billy to see if he can change a bit, ya know...act the way your mother and sister would want him to. That way at least they might ease up a bit.

I'm not sure what else to say, it is a tough situation, if you really really don't want to get over him. You're looking at a dead end though. Plead with your mom to let you talk to him even if its just online or something. It will take time for that to work though. So give it a try and wait it out a bit. Hope that helped and good luck.

Whoa there! Does your boyfriend know about this other friend of yours? You should definately tell him. Why? Well I'm sure you would want him to tell you if he had a friend that was a girl that he had a blast talking to. So go ahead and tell him everything you just wrote, about not having that much to talk about, and about having more fun talking to him.

He might not even notice that you two aren't talking as much and think everything is going fine.

So let him know what you want that to change. If things don't shape up, then talk to him about it. I mean if you have feelings for him and some other guy, you should definately tell him too. It's worse for him to go on thinking you only like him than for you to actually tell him its not that way. Sort your feelings out, and if you feel like you don't like the relationship you are in, then leave. But nobody is saying you are guaranteed a relationship with your other friend either. So sort your feelings out, talk to your boyfriend about the two of you and about your friend, and give it a bit more time for things to settle down or change. Hope that helped and good luck.

Nuh uh not at all. Hey if you went to Italy, would u be weird for listening to english music? Kinda like the same thing. Don't let other people judge you or tell you what to listen to when it comes to music. Music is a reflection of your personality. Be you and listen to whatever music you like. After all, its your iPod for YOU to listen to, not everyone else.

Planes are fun! What to expect? A boring video about safety. But since it is your first time, just pay attention. It sounds like there's a vacuum running the whole time, so bring some music if you'd like. Don't be scared. The people on board the plane are trained and know what to do for any occasion. Plus, security is super tight. You should chew gum, right before takeoff and right before landing. I reccomend Orbit Orange, really good flavor; but of course anything works. Will you get sick? Maybe not. Just make sure you eat a good meal before (plane food isn't the best). To keep busy...well they have magazines on board. If you want like I said before bring your own music. A book would be great too. If you like sodoku puzzles those are a favorite. Playing cards work too. There's a small table for you, so basically if you want to bring anything or do anything that you would need a table for (even a laptop) feel free to bring it on board. If the flight is long enough, they will probably have a movie to watch.

So don't worry and relax, it'll be a good experience...the actual plane ride. Checking in and security is sometimes annoying. Oh yeah, sometimes it gets kind've cold, so you might want to get a light jacket just in case. Sleeping is also a favorite thing to do on board. Hoped that helped and have a great trip.

Tell her you are friends. Nothing wrong with that right? You don't have to say that you are waiting to be going out. Try to be honest and open about it, because if you aren't then they might think you are hiding things from them (bad things). So just tell her that you are friends. Say that he is in __ grade, his name is __, he does ___ things after school, and is 16 years old. Be open and honest, because chances are if they see you are then they probably won't be as strict...instead of them not knowing anything; so instead of waiting for them to pry into things, just tell them. Remember, all you have to say is that you are friends. Later on, if she's ok with it, ask her what she thinks aobut a relationship between you too. Of course, try to get him over for dinner or something; if she sees what he is like she might not be as strict - your mom only wants what is best for you. Hope that helped and good luck.

Feel free to ask me any questions or for an alternate way of contacting me through my inbox.

I really like giving advice, so thats why I have a column here. I've been inactive for a long time, but I'm back and will do my best to catch up. Advicenators is a great site and it is what we make it. Having my own advice column helped me learn a lot of new things, even about myself, while giving me the chance to help others along the way. Thanks.

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