|
Virgo In Distress
Hi Im A 21 year old female. and im stressing. I Have a 24 year old boyfriend i have been with for the past 2years and a half. in this relationship i have bin cheated on,beaten up i have practically been abused mentally physically and emotinally. he say he love , i guess in his own ways.but i have been dealing with him and his baby mama to much. dont get me wrong i do love him. but i felt he stopped my life completly. i wanted to go to college or to the military and he didnt want me to go. but i was dumb. anyways i went away for training which i had to beg him to let me go, eventually he did. before i left i found out he cheated on me with his baby mama again. so when i went away i found someone.A 25 year old firefighter. someone who treated me like i have never been treated before, he respects me, he loves me, hes offering me the world, my mom spoke to him and she like him, so i had plan to leave my boyfriend to go to live with this guys now. i would love to be with this guy so much but my boyfriend refuses to let me go. now these days he all of a sudden want me and promises me to treat me good, but he promised that before.everytime i speak to my baby i smile he makes me feel happy something i havent been feeling in a long time, this is my story i dont know what do do, im a Virgo In Distress and i just cant figure out what to do. please help me, this is my future.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
In my opinion, this guy who your with (the one with the baby's mama) is dirt. No offence but if he's going to abuse you, you don't need him, if he really did love u he wouldn't beat you, hunny that is not a relationship that is a hell for u, no woman or man deserves to be in a relationship where they are beaten up and abused. Also no man or women who beats up or abuses their partner doesn't derserve to have a relationship in my opinion. Also, I believe that if you really do love the 25 year old firefighter then you should follow your heart, don't let his abusive ways stop you, go with the firefighter and if he will not let you be, or if he trys to harm you or him, I would honestly insist getting the police invovled you do not need that in your life, do not let anyone stop you from following your dreams and improving on your life. I hop eI have helped and I'm sorry if I didn't. Plz rate.
]
definetely go for where you can be happy. dating is just a process that involves weeding through the bad guys till you get the one you want- if theres any inkling inside you that you would like to try being with another man- then go for it, girl! yuove got nothnig to lose, and everything to gain!
]
Yeah definately go with this firefighter. Your 24 year old is not right or worthy of you and do not go believing his lies again. When he says he wont let you go, go anyways and if he lays one hand on you, then call the police. He has no right to treat you this way and it's illegal. The firefighter is the right choice for you and I hope it all turns out well.
]
hey, first of all you need to leave this guy your with and go with the firefighter. the 24 yr old is bad news. he doesnt love you, you just cant see taht because your in the realationship. he cheated on you, he doesnt want you to follow your dreams, he mentally and physically abuses you. does taht seem like he loves you??? well i'll tell you he doesnt. he also seems controlling. you need to be free and have control. so please listen to me and go with the 25 yr old. he seems nice and want you to be happy. remember in a relationship you should never be hurt especially abused in any way especially on purpose. and the 21 yr old he says he promises but it seems as if he always promises. dont believe a cheater especially the one who has hurt you so much. So please listen and go with firefighter/25 yr old. He's the right choice or at least the better one.
I HOPE I HAVE HELPED=]
-Mr.Advice1120
]
This is a tough cookie. Sit yourself down and sort out your feelings. Why are you still around with your boyfriend? If he really loved you then that means he has to respect you, be responsible with you, care about you, and know about you and what is going on in your life (as well as what you need). From what you said that doesn't seem to happen too often. Why do you love him? Why does he refuse to let you go? Think this through and see if you really do love him for who he is.
Talk to your boyfriend after you've thought things through. If you can't come up with an answer as to how you feel about him or the other guy, thats ok. Let him know about how you feel even if it is not just one certain way (sorry if you already have). Ask him if he is going to put in his part for your relationship, and mean it. He should be aware of what he is doing, and not abuse you mentally, physically, or emotionally. Why does he do those things? If you don't know, then ask. Find out what he means when he says he loves you, to see if it matches up or is anywhere near what you mean by loving him. What I mean by that is that you could both have different ideas of what love is and how to show it. So talk about that letting him know how you feel, and ask for some feedback as well. About the cheating...well yes it is terrible, but is this the first time? If not, then who's to say it won't happen again. Ask him why he did, and see what the chances of it happening again are. Most people deserve second chances, but if it keeps happening like that...then yeah.
Now about this other guy. Why do you like him? Is it just because of the way he treates you and what he offers you? I'm not saying you don't, but it is a must that you get to know him for what he is, both good and bad - the whole entire him. I wouldn't rush into anything with him, just for the simple reason that you could later realize something you didn't notice that you wouldn't like. So while he does sound promising and better, still get to know him and everything. Nothing wrong with being better friends.
So think things through with yourself, that is, what your true feelings about both of the guys. I don't approve of him not letting you do things or go places or see people (as friends). You said he refuses to let you go? How so? Does he threaten you? If so, then I would not stay because of that. If you do, what will stop him from threatening you with anything else? If you two are only in a relationship, that does not mean it is permanent and has to remain so. In other words, you should both be free to call things off if either of you wanted to. You don't have to stay just because he wants you to; and vice versa, if he really didn't want to be around, whats the point of making him stay - chances are things won't be as enjoyable or it would lead to problems anyway. Sorry for my super-long answer. I hope that helped and good luck - just think things through and talk to your boyfriend, then decide - remember, only you can ultimately decide for yourself, not me, another columnist, or your boyfriend.
]
look this is a very stressing and serious issue. It is not really my place or anyone elses to tell you what to do. You must think about this and how it all effects you. But if you cannot then this is my advice to you:
If you have given this guy a chance and he as done all these things to you then it is not right for you to stay with him. Tell your current boyfriend that it is just too late to make up, too late to say sorry, and way too late to do anything about it. He has abused you too much to stay, you know i speak sence. Stay with the guy who makes you happy and doesnt hurt you like your bf has hurt you. Staying with someone who has cheated on you like that is wrong just plain wrong. Its not your fault its his no matter what he does u walk out that door leave your b/f and go live with your loveing 25yo firefighter. He makes you happy so go for it. Its your life, your future, dont let a guy control that. good luck in your life and remember no matter what do not go back to that guy who has abused you. please rate my advice cos i want that thankyou. Hope everything goes well have a pleasent future (anyone who seeks my advice i am aware that i cannot accept things is my inbox this is a problem i am curently working on if u want my advice mention LoveLifeHelper in your q thankyou all)
]
More Questions: |