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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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I am a 15yr old girl frm nigeria nd my bust is jxt 2 smal for my age nd this always mak me feel sad,al my friends hav bigger bust than i do nd most of them laugh at me,i hav also wore different typ of bra sizes buh ntin work out for me i hav also used breast cream to make it bigger buh itz stil jxt d same tin..though a frnd of mine gav me an advice..that i shld hav sex with my boyfrnd nd during that period i shld let him massage my bust wel that it wuld make it grow bigger nd i hav been duin this for a while nw buh ther is stil no difference,what do u think i cn do to make my bust bigger plz
Your friend happens to know nothing at all about the physiology of the human body from her advice, for having sex will NOT increase breast size, nor does massaging from a male or by yourself, nor does any creams or pills promised to help. I have an ex husband who is an ex because he was controlling, verbally abusive AND he wasn't happy with my bust size, my hair color and my nose. I was not going to have a nose job but coloring my hair wasn't too big a deal. He kept harping about trying things that promise to make the breast grow. We even tried a batch of tapes which if you listened to them while you were asleep. it would make your bust grow. I learned thru my life experience that there is nothing to make a breast grow in size except when breast feeding a child, and then it usually is only during the duration of breast feeding. Once the child grows old enough to drink from cups, the breast more often than not, goes right back to the natural size you were born with. Women have always been as concerned about the look and size of their breast as males have been about their penis. Yes, there is a variety of different looks and sizes but its all normal and natural, nothing wrong. Your friends with bigger breasts will find out in time that for several different reasons, it has the possibility of being a curse rather than a blessing. I will list a few of those now: smaller bra's are created to look lacier and sexier than the ones for girls with D cups and larger who simply need to keep them from sagging and stretching. I've gone bra shopping with a much larger girlfriend and discovered when helping her look that if the bra was pretty, it was too flimsy and wouldn't support her weight wise, and those that did were plain and ugly.
Next issue, when young and inexperienced, males tend to be caught up with what the media shows as being a sexier looking female. In their eagerness to experience sex and passion, many are drawn to a female with larger breasts, not because they like her personality, but only for the sexual reasons. So how is a girl with a bigger chest going to know when a guy is interested in her for all of her, the whole package deal or not? When young, its hard to know the difference and more often a girl gives up her virginity and then gets hurt being dumped by the guy who got what he wanted or tired of it and wanted to find someone even bigger, curvier. I have watched the girlfriends with bigger boobs complain of this over and over. Are guys interested in small to flat chested females? Yes, there are some, not all because they discover as they mature that they actually have their personal preferences or some have none and any size is fine with them. I was a B until breast feeding when I jumped to a C, after breast feeding the last child I shrunk down to barely an A. It took years to grow on its own without help back to a B. So what I am saying is that whatever genes you inherited, maybe thru the parents but not directly resem bling Mom, but females in her lineage, aunts, cousins, great grandma's and great aunts who had a very small bust and you were the one who inherited that trait.
Oh, by the way, when you get to be way older and like say, late forties or in your fifties, like myself, you find another reason to be thankful you had a smaller bust, without the weight to pull them out of shape, you end up having the breasts of a much younger woman and can go around braless if you like and still have all males wanting to look at your chest as your walk by, compared to the women whose breasts now sag to sway over her tummy or rest on her lap as she sits. So you may not be happy not, but you will be in the future when you have snagged yourself a wonderful husband while your bigger busted girlfriends still struggle to find a guy who will not look at her only as a sex toy. I have a site for you to look at that may help you even better, a gallery of photos submitted by real women who have taken a photo of just their breast to submit so the site has a variety of what vast differences there is in size and shape of breast and also the nipple and areola.
They add a comment below of how they feel about it or how they boyfriend feels about their breasts. I saw a few of gals with pretty much a totally flat chest have boyfriends who've been with them a long time, are committed and love not just the breast but all of her inside and out. And they are happy. Here's that site and I hope you learn to be proud of and accept your size. Your friends know nothing and are mean as girls can be as they feel they have to compete to gain the attention of a guy. ANd yes, they attract more attention right now but I guarantee a lot of it will be for the wrong reasons and not what they might hope for.
www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php
Back before I was born, my mother and father didn't have the best relationship.(She left him after 4 years) He was a cheater, and abusive from what my mother told me. He never took care of her and very rarely helped out with me when I was born. I often brought these stories up to him and he always denied it saying that my mother exagerrated to make him look bad. Once again on our way home, she told me more stories on how horrible he was and I brought it up again and I think that he got upset because I believe he realized I found out the truth about him after all these years that I believed he was a good person. Ever since then he hasn't text or called me or anything. He just denied everything.
While it may be true that he was abusive and a cheater, it could also be equally true that Mom felt bitter towards him and in her hurt tried to emotionally turn you away from him by painting a worse picture of him than how things were.
My own kids when small didn't really see the issues and problems even tho they lived with it daily. My husband was abusive verbally. Once they were teens, I had to leave for my physical health and begged them to come with me but they wanted to stay with their friends, or their school. Once I was gone, it became apparent quickly who had kept the functioning of family life on an even keel...me. It wasn't until I was no longer there for him to target, that he began to treat them and his new girlfriend the same way he had me. My kids were 18 and older once I came back into the area after going to live with friends out of state while I healed. As young adults, they now could decide for themselves what exactly they saw in their dad and I never said a bad thing about them. They pretty much all have been hurt and dissapointed by him and limit their time with him. You had a choice to examine your fathers own character. Unless it was a need in you to idolize your dAD and see nothing wrong with him, then if he's the good man you really know him to be from the time you've have with him since becoming a teen or adult, there must be a good reason why he's not keeping contact, or at least his reason seems valid to him. For if you confessed to always having niggling doubts not knowing who to believe but now you know exactly who he is and what he's like. If you are supportive of him and complimenting him for being a good person, then that should be no reason to cut off contact. I dont know how longs its going on, so maybe its something recent thats taking up his attention, problems at work, loss of a job, repair jobs at home or financial worries, health issues, etc... He may just be mad that he was robbed of the chance to be with you when you were growing up and that has him not wanting to keep contact at all. I know, a very silly reaction but some people actually do that, choose to make themselves suffer even more rather than take the more pleasant path.
I wasn't sure of your wording tho. So in case that you confessed you've learned the truth and realize now that thinking as a kid that he was perfect but now you've discovered the truth that he wasn't is what actually happened...then I can see why he wouldn't want to talk with you. Either he's still in denial. Or he knows he did wrong but doesn't like being reminded of it, and doesnt know how to or care to humble himself enough to admit it and ask forgiveness, in which case he may be angry because he doesnt want to have to confess to such things and so he cuts off communication.
People do really weird things all because of their emotions, usualy negative emotions, anger, regret, etc...so theres no way for me to really know why. I could only put here a few reasons that might or might not apply.
If you never hear from him again, even if you try, the best thing for your peace of mind is to keep this thought foremost, he had a problem with your mother and relationship, not with you. Or perhaps he has some mental illness that caused him to act that way and having it diagnosed back then and getting on meds may have changed everything. It was discovered now that my ex has mental illness, a highly functioning version so its hard to detect out in society but at home is where they drop the facade and act themselves and let the disturbing character traits out. He refuses meds so he will never improve. If this is the case for Dad, that mental illness of a sort, if what affected him in how he behaved, then he is not entirely at fault, he was born that way and even in the last 20-30 years, many others have gone undiagnosed with mental illness. If he does have it and it had been caught, things might have been different with medication. You have no way to really know this. But its a good possibility and takes a lot of the pressure off him for choosing to act a bad way and ruin his chance to raise you and be Dad when you were young. Or look at it this way, he was half responsible for giving you life. So have gratitude if even for that one thing. thats what my daughters do as they can't find much redeeming qualities in their Dad. I have given them the same talk regarding his mental illness so they dont hate him. But they make wise decisions as to how often they have contact with him because in each time they meet he says something to hurt them or hurt or piss off thier boyfriends.
If my own father had had such issues, i would choose to believe that he loved me the very best that he was capable. It just won't compare with the way that Tv Dads, or your friends DaDS were able to love them.
I want to apologize in advance if this writing makes it sound like I'm accusing any parents or grandparents on this site of anything. I'm very upset right now, so please excuse me if this seems a little hostile. I don't mean to be nor do I mean to cause any problems, but there's something I need to know. When people say that they love their kids and grandkids equally, how many of them actually mean it? I know that many of them do, but I feel like grandparents say it waaaaay too often and don't mean it at all? I mean, grandkids aren't the same as actual children. Is it just some meaningless platitude grandparents feel they HAVE to say? And why is everyone so convinced that it's normal and does no damage if you don't love them equally?
Let's say that there's this man who has two daughters and seven total grandchildren who he's always alleged that he loves equally, but he doesn't and it makes me wonder if ANY grandparent actually does. Even if I'm wrong about him loving them equally, then equal love doesn't seems worthless. I know that's harsh and in sorry, but like I said, I'm very upset.
His oldest daughter has a son, Lane and two daughters Avery and Collins. He ADORES them. He never shuts up about them, especially Lane and anytime somebody wants to talk about anything else, he finds a way to change the subject back to them. They can do no wrong in his eyes and when they do wrong in someone else's eyes, he defends them and berates whoever is angry with them.
When he and his wife got separated, he moved ten hours away from her and his youngest daughter to be near his oldest who'd just had Lane. He lives so far away from his youngest daughter and her kids who all still live near his wife. He rarely comes to visit and when he does, he acts disinterested in the daughter OR the kids. If the oldest daughter and her family come as well, he parades her kids around and show them off to everyone he can. Many people don't even know that the youngest has kids.
His youngest has three sons and a daughter, Aaron, David, Jude, and Alexia. They get little to no attention from him at all and it hurts them more than he'll bother to think about. It drives his youngest daughter absolutely crazy and she gets sick of people saying that it's no big deal, that she's being unreasonable, and that it's no big deal to to the kids when they aren't the ones who have to put up with his bs.
The apocalypse would not have been able to keep him from being there when Lane was born. He was there when Avery and Collins were as well, but since he lived on town then, it was a lot easier. Aaron and David are fraternal twins and he didn't bother to come when they were born because it was too far away. He got TWO grandsons at that time and would not bother to come. They were born in October and he decided to wait until thanksgiving to see them, saying he shouldn't make two trips down there so close to each other.
Jude and Avery were born just over a month apart. His youngest daughter couldn't make it to Avery's baby shower because she couldn't travel. His oldest daughter was very understanding and blamed herself for it because she didn't plan it sooner, but their dad had a conniption about it. He treated her like the GD devil for not coming to her third baby shower (she had two for Lane). When Jude was born, the rules were different. There was no baby shower, but rather a smaller party called a sprinkle. Men weren't invited, but he could have sent a gift or some diapers or something and didn't. He also wasn't wasn't there when Jude was born either. Very hurtful.
No one expected him to be there when Alexia was born and he wasn't. His wife has been at ALL of the oldest daughter's kids events including baby showers, births, christening, baptisms, and when she can, even things like ball games and school plays. It's not fair that the dad won't do the same for the youngest daughter's kids.
He broke Alexia's heart by not going to her high school graduation, not because he couldn't or didn't want to, but because he was trying to bet back at her mother for at the time. Instead of directing his anger at the mother, he aimed it at his innocent, "loved" granddaughter. He missed a once in a lifetime event and does not regret it. He blames his youngest daughter for it.
He is a big church goer. He loves church and never misses it when someone he knows speaks at church for whatever. When Jude spoke at church near Christmas time, the dad was invited to come down. The oldest daughter and her family were coming to town for Christmas already and came a little earlier so they could hear Jude speak. Granddad was asked to come by Jude an BEGGED to come by Jude's parents, but he didn't. His reasoning was that he was mad arcHive at the time for something that wasn't even his business. He claimed to love him, but called him trash in the same sentance because he went out with multiple girls at the same time. He wasn't in an exclusive relationship with any of them, so technically he wasn't doing anything wrong. But granddad says that he's never been so embarrassed by a relative in his life.
I'm just sick of people putting their kids and grandkids through this kind of bs. I'm sick of some who do this kind of thing claiming to love their kids and grandkids equally when they don't and I'm sick of people who admit to loving one more saying that it's normal and okay.
I guess I mainly just needed to vent some anger, but please, if anyone has any advice, I'd love to hear it.
Theres a point there, that often we don't treat the people we love as if we truly love them. Some we hold at arms length, or we let other emotions such as sadness and anger and dissapoint get in the way of our being able love someone.
My first thought is that perhaps grandpa isn't even consciously aware of why he does this, but for some reason, subconsciously he treats the younger daughter and his grandchildren by her differently.
So what reasons could subconsciously cause a person to have a negative emotional reaction to someone? For me, its easy to see a big reason tho it may not apply here. But i will mention it in case it does so it can help you deal with the hurt you feel and be better prepared to explain to the kids when they are hurt.
I don't know much of his divorce, only that he moved far away from ex. I dont know who wanted the divorce. It may have been mutual, or perhaps she asked for the divorce and that hurt him so deeply in ways he's never recovered from emotionally and those scars and hurts buried inside are what compells him to subconsciously act as he does. So why pick on you, not older sister? Another guess, but either your looks, your facial expressions, the way you talk or act, something about you reminds him of his ex wife. Being reminded when one hasn't learned to grieve and deal with hurt like that, or a loss of a mate, means that a person can easily find their emotional strings plucked all too easy. And it doesnt matter if he changed his mind and wanted her back and still loves her and battles with being rejected, or whether he truly hates her and doesnt want to dwell on her, anything that causes him to relive bad memories. It's not your fault you are who you are and that something about you might be reminding him of his ex. No, its not right. But I'm willing to bet its not just you and your kids who are hurting but he is too. His not dealing with his hurt may have caused him to act as he does and it doesnt have to and most often won't make sense. Like why if its just you that reminds him of ex wife, then why not at least see the grandkids? I don't know but he must fear running into you or having to at least talk to you. Also, if a person has changed their mind, they can feel its too late to admit they were wrong and sometimes it takes something like being on ones deathbed to attempt to put things right.
If it were me, I would choose in my mind to believe the above scenerio because it would explain his actions and take the pressure off me to wonder in what way I am somehow lacking, why older sis and her family seem to be chosen over me. It may be too late for him to change, but if you can find at least a little less hurt inside as far as your self image, then all thats left is the hurt of him keeping away. But understandng why is the first step to healing for you. It wont take away your bad memories, but it can help with the pain in time, that has come every time you think of grandpa cutting you and your kids out of his life. I sincerely hope they have a good relationship with grandma and their other set of grandparents. At one point, both my parents were dead while my kids were still young, the youngest just turning four.
I asked an older couple in church with an adopted child in no hurry to marry and have kids, if they'd like to be adopted grandparents for my kids. As long as we lived in the area and went to the church, the kids gained another set of grandparents and had lots of fun. they missed their real ones but sometimes, the peope we 'choose' to make family, rather than the ones who are 'blood' family can be the more rewarding ones and just as special. I am not suggesting this for you, just sharing that its only going to have the importance that one places on it. If grandpa had died months after divorcing, the kids would still miss not having a grandfather, but they also would not be dealing with rejection. We each have the personal choice as to how we allow our emotions to react or respond to how we are treated. When not treated kindly, if we take things to personally in life, then we have a life long of disappointments from the store clerk who spoke sharply to you one day, a best friend who no longer calls, kids who tease and bully the kids at school, etc. If we can know that the situation isn't there because of something we've done to cause it and something we need to change to repair it, then the solution lies with the other person. And some people aren't ready to change for the better because humans are afraid of change. Its uncomfortable, unsettling, scary and can briefly bring emotional pain into our lives so we do all we can to not change. this means you can't change the grandpa, he can only choose to change himself and he may never. No, it doesnt solve the issue, I don't have high hopes that you will see change as the older we get, the less likely a person is to change also. But I hope that choosing how you view the problem will bring some peace for you and you will be able to counsel the kids in the same way. Blessings dear!
I have a physical disability.. It involves connective tissue disorder. I'm also overweight have been my whole life and it's really difficult to lose weight when your joints want to dislocate when you're working out..
Anyway.. My problem is.. My breasts. They're big, and saggy. I'm only 16.
I've gone through the whole eating disorder thing..lost 10 lbs. But I keep gaining muscle weight. And I end up hating myself more. I don't eat junk food, I work out but I'm stuck at 220 lbs. I keep gaining muscle and I hate my weight. I hate it so much..
Unfortunately, breasts are fat. Not muscle.
I don't know how to get thinner, how to make my breasts 'perkier'. I don't know. I'm standing at 5' 9" and the lowest I want to be is 155. I'm just at a loss.
Any tips on how I can make my breasts perkier and smaller?
You mention having a disorder. Since I dont know if it may be related to your weight, best thing is to ask your doctor. When a person eats healthy and exercises, they may lose inches here and there but muscle weighs more on a scale than fat so you may not see a lower number. I would suggest use of a measuring tape to see if you are losing any inches.
Once you turn 18, you're an adult and can do as you wish. Just as there are surgeries to increase bust size, there are surgeries to decrease breast size. Insurance in the past used to only pay for a reduction and find it necessary if her weight of boobs was causing back problems due to being too top heavy. I worked in insurance, I've seen the photos. So for just to change the shape or make them look perkier, you're out of luck as far as insurance coverage on that. You'd have to save up your hard earned money for that. I would at this stage also like to point out that in case you're thinking of having at least one child some day, and that you might want to possibly breast feed, which is way healthier for an infant, then I would suggest waiting for any serious surgery on the breasts until after you are done having kids and breast feeding. If thats not a concern, then just research it carefully and save up and get surgery done.
I've gone to nudist places at times and have seen women of all types of body builds, the big boned women with some chub on them not seriously overweight, but looking big all the same, and those who are actually obese. Of two obese women for example, I found one to have a good self image and high self confidence and funny thing is, I found her to be the prettier of the two overweight women even though they were the same in looks. That taught me something that made sense when i later read information about when given a choice of a model type with low self confidence, and an average to heavy gal with high confidence, they chose the latter over the models. these would be men who wanted a female for the whole package deal, not just skin deep. If a guy bypasses you for your looks but you have a good self confidence, then he just eliminated himself as a possible man for you to consider. He's only concerned with beauty skin deep and as you know, we all age, get wrinkles and lose our youthfulness at some point. a Man who loves you for the whole package deal is not going to abandon you when you gain some weight. If you have any more questions, let me know. Otherwise, I wish you the best.
Im 13 and my penis when erect is 5 1/2 inches and i just wanted to know if that was a normal size for my age because I'm worried that it's too small and that maybe my girlfriend will be disappointed not saying that I'm gonna have sex at my age but i just want to know if that's an ok size
I've got the perfect link for you that explains the difference of vagina's when relaxed or aroused vs penis length. It also explains that a woman who used to take an 8 inch penis can also be satisfied with 5 or 6 inches. Please read it over and if you still have any questions, I'd be glad to try to answer them.
http://www.penissizedebate.com/page41_vagina-size.htm
I have never dated before because I was always to focused on my education *20 year old female. Now I like this guy and he likes me. Problem is I don't understand him. When I give him attention he makes me feel like I'm bothering him. When I ignore him he wants to be clingy. And every time we see each other there is an awkward vibe. He says we need to talk about our relationship because even our friends are confused, but when we are alone he does not want to talk. PLEASE HELP.
Well, it could be a lot of different things dear, no way for us to know. It could be his personality makes him act as he does, it could be due to both of you having a lack of experience in dating and dealing with and understanding the opposite sex, as in the book--Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and it could be that the two of you really were never meant for each other either in a short term relationship or for a life long one. Not having dated before, you will not be able to recognize the signs that give a clue whether the relationship has a chance or whether the two of you being together is a big mistake. At 20, I didn't know how to recognize the clues so i married a guy. After 30 yrs, I finally divorced him. It was a big mistake and i wished I had the backbone to leave earlier.
Soo, don't avoid a talk. Talk is important in any kind of relating, whether with a friend, a coworker, a parent or sibling. Without good communication, a relationship will suffer. Although keep in mind that just talking alone will not make a relationship successful if the two dont mix well like oil and water.
So talk to him. Find out what his concerns are, and state yours if any. When people give conflicting show of interest in someone as both of you are doing, its more likely that neither of you are sure what you are looking for in a relationship and that needs to be determined in your mind and heart first before you will know what to do with prospective males you meet. You should be able to know early on, in a handful of dates whether a guy shows promise and you show continue to spend time with him or if he's wrong. You cant do that if you dont have a written or at least a mental list of what you are looking for or think you are looking for. 2nd time around, I made a list and had to keep updating and refining it, adding some things and leaving out others until I had a good idea of what i was looking for. Then when meeting a guy, I thanked him for his interest but told him I needed to share up front what it was that I was looking for in a guy. I said, If he didn't feel he could fit the bill, then I was perfectly okay with him saying so and ending it right there after a couple dates. I also said that in dating, I might discover after some time that my feelings for him are not the same as at first and I'd let him know and we'd part. Its all about finding the perfect mate and that's harder than finding your next pair of shoes.
So I suggest reading books on relationships, conversation between male and female, something to teach about serious dating do's and don'ts, the mistakes we make that turn a person off and so on. there are some good videos on dating dos and donts for girl if you put that in a search on you tube, but I suggest getting books as well. good luck dear.
Hello,
So I met a guy at my internship that i got for the summer and we really hit it off. We have been hanging out a lot and becae really good friends. We have started having sex but nothing about our relationship status has been declared.
In a couple weeks we are both moving back home, which is about 6.5 hours away from each other. I really like him and would like to make it work so that if we were to start dating we could stay together and see each other as much as possible.
Before a couple days ago he hasn't really said much about going home but the other day he brought up how close we are to the end of summer, i asked if he was happy to be going home and he said will be sad he doesn't get to see me. Some of his friends have came up and visited them and he took me to meet them and introduced me.
I'm not really sure where his heads at and I really dont want to say anything about our situation until we leave because if the conversation goes badly I still will have to see him at work everyday until the end of summer.
So do you guys think that I should wait for him to bring it up? Do you think he'll even bring it up at all? Or should I bring it up? and if yes, what should I say to him?
Thank you in advance
Kaaitlyn31
I agree with Razhie, instead of just hoping and getting your hopes dashed, the best is for you to say something. Your hopes may still get crushed but at least you won't go living to your dying day wondering if something could have been if one of you had been brave enough to bring up the subject.
One thing I've read as a 'not to say', is a declaration of already having feelings for, or being in love with. Early on, it can scare away the other, or put pressure on them if they don't feel the same, and worry about how to let you down without hurting your feelings.
You've only known each other for summer but seen each other in some ways daily so it may seem like a lot longer but its still early in the relationship. The only thing you know for sure is he finds you attractive enough to have the desire to have sex with you. That complicates things as far as feelings go for you. You dont know if this was just a summer fling for him or if in the back of his mind, he's keeping an eye out for the girl he wants to settle down with someday.
If both of you are interested but not picking up enough encouraging signs from each other for either of you to have the guts to bring it up, then the both of you could be totally in love and walk away from each other for lack of taking a risk and saying something. To me, minor embarrassment is a heck of a lot better than wondering if you just let the love of your life get away. He may not have said anything for several reasons, none having to do with any lack of interest in having more time with you, and one reason could be that he believes 6.5 hrs distance is too great a hassle to even think of considering staying together as a couple.
So the whole problem then is exactly what to say. Guys get as scared as girls so he won't think poorly of you for bringing it up first. Be honest, straight to the point of what you want to know. Of course you;ll use your own words and want sounds like you but heres what I would say if I were in your shoes.
"You know, I was expecting to meet anyone, just do my internship. But since meeting you, I have come to grow quite fond of you. I know we have enough sexual attraction, but we haven't perhaps had enough time for either of us to become each others best friend. So I want to say something, just put it out there. From what i've seen so far, I would prefer if the relationship didn't end if you have a similar interest in me. I also need to be honest and say that I hope and dream of finding the one I will be with the rest of my life, but I understand that sometimes there's not enough there to solidify the relationship. So I need to know how you feel so far about me. Not for an instant commitment for the rest of our lives, but at least for now, to get to know each other even better and try to continue despite the distance to give ourselves a chance to discover if we believe we've found our future mate or not.
I know it takes both sexual compatibility and being the best of friends to have a chance at a stable relationship with someone. If you are game, I'd like that chance to have more time after summer internship to see if we can become even closer friends wise. If one or neither of us fall in love, then so be it, but I'd rather give a possible relationship a try than never try at all. So tell me, what are your thoughts on this?
This really is a no pressure talk, even tho it may seem such to you. You are leaving it open ended, not expecting a commitment for life long, only one to give each other a chance to know if the other is the right one. You don't put on pressure by saying you think you're already in love. That you can leave up to him. If he feels that way already now, then its his time to confess it or at least agree to keep the relationship going. too many young people jump into relationships without bringing up a talk of boundaries and expectations early on, such as after a handful of dates where the other keeps wanting to spend time with you. The fact he took the next step to sex could mean something or he may be the friends with benefits type. You don't know until you start 'the talk'. this is something i did 2nd time around, after a divorce. I put myself on a dating site. When meeting guys, I told them what I was looking for in boyfriend material, I let them know I wasn't looking for an instant commitment to be able to say he's my boyfriend, just a chance to really give the relationship a fighting chance to establish itself or not. As soon as either of us was sure we were not really interested in that way, to become sweethearts for the rest of our lives, then fine, we part. I never begged or whined to get a guy to stay. And funny thing is, that made guys all the more interested in spending time with me, even if they ultimately were not looking for a long term partner. I was. I made that clear and theres nothing wrong with that because both of you are of an age where in a handful of years you'll be ready to marry and start a family. So it's actually wise to make your future wishs be known so that a guy who never wishes to marry or have kids doesnt end up wasting your time.
If he can't give you an answer, then let him know that when you get home, since he's uncertain or not able to give an answer, you will not save yourself, waiting around for him but you will go on to meet and date other guys (even if at the moment you dont want to--but he doesnt need to know that) This switches the situation to one of instead of you pursueing him, even with such a conversation, that final thing about not waiting around, will force him to really pay attention to how he feels about you and he may not be able to determine that until after you've parted and he doesnt see you daily. It puts him in the position of getting serious about what he wants, and to do the pursueing if he IS even remotely thinking that he shouldn't take a chance on losing you at this point. When the guy knows that you like him so much but will walk back out of his life and start dating others, it puts the desperation on him to come running after you...IF he is developing feelings for you also. good luck dear.
Weve been best friends for 3 years now and im glad i have her. But she never seems to be happy for me. No matter what i do, to her she can do it better. She always has to one up me. And copy me. Anytime i say i want a new piercing she says eww and sometimes like that wont look good on you. But then a couple days later she will tell me that she wants that piercing that she said eww to. She has to steal all of the attention. No matter where we go she always puts herself first it seems. When me and my bf broke up she didnt help me at all. I would try talking to her about it and she would ignore me like i wasnt even talking and start talking about her an her bf. Then when they broke up and i would try talking to her about me and my bf she would always change it on her and say that her bf did all the same thing and i dont know what it feels like to have that happen. She pretty much said im not hurt and if i was it wasnt even close to how bad she was. Which really pissed me off. Obviously she had no idea how hurt i was because she wouldnt take the time to listen to anything i had to say. I just got my cosmetology license and am now working at a salon. You know what she said when i: graduated from beauty school; passed my stateboard; got my license..? "Good". Then started talking about herself. I showed her my business cards i got and she ignored it. I showed her all my stuff that i bought for the salon. She ignored that too. My license just came in the mail and i showed her that. She ignored that. Like excuse me for being excited and wanting to tell my best friend about it. And im saying i think she is jealous because she copies me. Now all she has talked about is now shes going to beauty school and that she payed way more than i did for school stuff. She said it costed her 2000 dollars which i know is a lie. How do i know? because i went to beauty school too!! she doesnt like to see me making something of myself. There are people i dont even know all excited for me saying congratulations and theyre happy for me! But all my best friend says is good?? Honestly ive been telling her stuff about me working now just to see what her response will be. Its always just oh or she doesnt even respond. I mean if she was doing something like this id definitely be all excited for her!! its a big deal! but nope she acts like im not doing anyhthing. I went through hell to get where i am now. Beauty school was not all that. I was depressed,thought about killing myself, didnt talk to anybody because what i was going through at the time and having to go to school 8:30-5 monday through friday. Did she know anything about that? No because she wouldnt listen. It was always about her. And i have already tried talking to her about her not caring about anything i have to say but nothing changes. I just dont know why she would be like this.
Yup, you guessed it, she is jealous. So the question remains as to why she might feel jealous.
A pretty common reason is the lack of self confidence and having a low self image. Its easier in this case to feel better than others if we say things or do things to make the friend look worse, lower the other person so we can feel like we are above them. Often such a person will brag or say things about themselves to get the attention she craves. Perhaps she's been raised by parents with high standards that realistically could not be met by anyone yet she was expected to meet those requirements and it could be for these reasons she is this way. Until someone can get her to really lower her defenses and share whats really going on for her and why she feels low self image or confidence, she is not going to be helped. In fact, the more she copies others, the more she'll be miserable because she may not be doing something she likes or has a talent for. She needs to find what in life makes her happy, what she has a passion for and pursue that but if she's in denial about what's going on deep inside her, the kind of negative thoughts she has directed at herself, you won't be able to help her. Just ignore what she says, don't let it get to you if shes not ready for help. She's your friend for a reason, you must get something from the relationship. Hopefully one day sooner than later, she'll be ready to face the fact she's got some negative thinking about herself she needs help with. She may not be able to overcome it herself and need to see a counselor for some time to learn what she's doing wrong and what things can help her. So save my reply. Have a talk with her based on what I described...just ask her whats up using the situation/scenerios I mentioned.
I am 14 years old and my best friend, who i notice, has head lice. She told me that she has nits, but she never said she had the actual lice in her head. When we would hang out, I can see the nits in her hair, and I did see a bug in her hair, which was lice. We had a sleepover and after a few weeks, My head started to itch but I just thought it was dandruff or something. One day, I was messing with my hair and I noticed that It had a nit stuck on it. I had lice before, so i know what a nit looks like. I had my mom check my hair, and she went to the store to get some head lice treatment. When I found out I had lice, I asked my best friend if she has lice and she said no, but im pretty sure I got it from her. I currently finished one treatment, but im going to do another treatment in a couple of days just to make sure I don't have it anymore. I am afraid that I will get it again, because we hang out a lot and I go to her house, but I really want to tell my best friend that I got it from her, just to warn her or something. I just don't know how to tell her? We have been besties for over a year, and I don't want to hurt her feelings.
She doesn't have her facts straight regarding lice. If there are nits/eggs present, there was an adult lice present at some point. Just because she has used a lice comb to comb out all adult lice doesnt mean that she wont soon again have hatched eggs presenting more lice, way more than the adults she combed out. My daughters went to a school where I believe even tho they checked all kids carefully, that one of the adults had it and kept re infecting the kids. After having to take a day off to delice a daughter and have to do that 3 times in 5 months, I'd had enough and switched them to another nearby school and no longer had the problem. What I learned is that there are some very strong strains of lice that dont die from use of the lice shampoo now. I finally heard from a mom who'd learned to smother the childs hair in mayonaisse and leave that on for an hour with a shower cap on to prevent drips. Lice can hold their breath apparently but they can't hold it that long. So theres a chance she may be using the lice treatment and think that it killed them all. I once put a live adult lice in a capful of the lice treatment. It swam happily along for hours without dying. So depending on the strain infecting her, the store treatment might be useless on hers.
You cant use the treatment and not wash everything that your head comes into contact with, using hot water. All my daughters stuffed toys had to go into a lawn trash bag to stay sealed up for months so any lice on them die of starvation. Fabric furniture, towels, clothing, pillows and bedding all need to be washed in hot water. So they may want to call in someone to dry their sofa and chairs if cloth.
Using the treatment doesnt kill the nits, only adult lice and any young hatched lice. They mature quickly to start laying eggs too. So even if only one nit survived in the hair, the one could lay dozens upon dozens of nits/eggs. I know a mom who just shaved her boys bald, that was the easy way for her. I had all girls with long hair so that wasn't an option. I will continue with instructions for a bit because you need to show this to your mom and have your mom contact her mom with this information. So how to get rid of nits real thoroughly....its a day long thing. I would set my child in front of the TV so she could stand to sit still for hours. I used hubbys clamp on work spot light to focus on her head for the extra light needed to see some of the more immature, smaller nits. Another Mom told me to keep some tape handy to stick the nits onto, and it can even be worn sticky side out on one wrist. They will need lots of those teeny tiny rubber bands for small bits of hair. Use of a magnify glass helps if you're not sure if you see a nit. Now section off the hair, upper head into 6 smaller pony tails and lower hair the same. If one has fine instead of thick hair, the amount of ponytails will vary. Keep size to a manageable amount. Then the parent must examine a few strands of hair at a time of a section with rubber band removed. Start at the scalp and visually travel down the strand, and whether you think it might be dandruff, dirt or a nit, pinch hair strand between two fingernails as you run them the length of the hair strand, if its a nit, there will be a 'catch' where you have to tug harder to loosen the nit. Pull it to end of hair strand and attach to tape. I always saw nits of varying sizes, some barely visible, but they all will be attached to hair by a glue and wont come loose unless you give a stronger tug with the nails to dislodge it. Once a section has been cleared, re band it and move on to next section. Use of a lice comb will not remove nits, only something larger like adults and a nit about ready to hatch any minute now. Otherwise they must be removed manually. I guarantee if they do this, they will finally be free of nits and lice. However every family member must be checked so to prevent re infection. I had husband check me too to see if I had anything on my hair.
This is pretty complex instructions to pass on so I wouldn't ask you to say something to your friend, your mom needs to. Thats how I learned most my information. I remember sitting in the nurses office with the principal present and they kept telling me I was doing something wrong if my kids still had lice or caught it again. They told me to use lice treatment and wash all cloth items in hot water, and remove all nits from hair. I HAD been doing exactly that and it had not helped because they kept catching it from classmates and friends. I broke down crying. You're made to feel like dirt or stupid and you try to convince yourself and others that your child has no lice because you did everything you'd been told to do but you really know something is very wrong. This compelled me to start calling all the parents on the classroom list and ask the moms if they had at any time had to battle lice with their kids. I found they had the same issues as I, they were told they did something wrong. And I came across 3 moms who had given me the instructions I've shared here. I know it will be hard on the mom. But she'll have to take a day off to do all this. However, if she does so really well, not trying to hurry thru, she should be able to find and remove all nits in one day. And after one day of sacrifice of her time, her child will no longer have a chance of having lices or nits. She might also want to talk to the school nurse and talk to others class parents to see it they are using the lice treatment and its not helping.
HI !!
Well problem is that dad and I. We dont talk much. Infact i stopped talkin to my dad just cause he doesn't has a car. I havent even urged him to buy a car...and i can't even say..or tell him to buy a car..as I don't want him to try hard just for me and buy a car.
Likewise, my dad is arrogant too and he doesn't listen to others even if it's for a good cause.
I don't have a mom neither..and since me and dad don't talk much I feel my dad feels lonely and seeing him like that and not able to do anything I feel like a very very very very bad SON!!!
Ii don't know what should I do? should I die?
Damn writing all these makes me tear up for no reason...ik it might sound nonsense but i need your help please!!
Thank you,
Friend.
I'm figuring you're a teen or college age guy and at that age, one way to have our freedom is having a car to drive. That I understand. What I don't understand is why you believe that it is your Dads responsibility to provide a car You need to open communication lines again and do some talking. You have expectations. He has reasons for not owning a car and even if he did own one, wouldn't be obligated to allow you to drive it. You need to find out why he doesnt have one and ask him for ideans on how you might be able to work towards a goal of owning your own. If you want a car that bad, perhaps he'd be willing to give you ideas of how to save up for one or might even help fund that but it would be your responsibility.
Kids today grow up belieing their parents owe them far more than the basics of providing food, clothes and shelter, and education. But they want the name brand fashions, iphones, tablets, pc's, and cars. And may a kid born to someone like Bill Gates can have their every wish cus the parents have the money to throw at special things like that. But providing that for ones kid, is not needed to prove a parent loves their child. In fact, those who get Everything they want real easily end up still feeling like they are lacking something. They lack the love and attention. Money can't buy real love. I don't mean to sound mean or pick on you cus we've all done the same at some point in our life and need to realize that at any given point in time, if we're not watching our behavior closely, it can easily become spoiled, selfish. So you may want to look at your reasons for choosing not to talk simply cus you are not getting what in your mind you believe you are owed. That just isnt so. Parents don't owe their kids availability of a car to own. Many in big cities dont even own cars but do the mini car rental or use buses. Choosing to not talk to a person simply because you are not getting something you think they should give you, is actually a more sophicated way of a little childs throwing a tamtrum by throwing themselves on the floor with fists and feet flying. I've done the same when younger. A part of growing up is to realize when you are doing this and make choices to become more adult like and realistic in your expectations. Your Dad may have his faults but you will find even more of his type out in the world. Learn to get along with him, and you'll find it easier to navigate around other not so nice people in the world around you.
This whole day I've been crying on and off since my boyfriend(19) is going to be leaving for college in less than a week... I'm a senior(17) in high school and I'm really looking forward to graduate... But not the in between. I cant imagine going to school without him and I feel like I'm going to be so lonely. We are still planning to date throughout this coming year and I'm planning to go to the same college...
However, on top of all of this I get really scared he will find someone more prettier or more positive than me. He says hes not but I get really scared. I just really love him.
Please do not say that its just young love since its way more than that... I've lost my virginity to him and we've been dating for a while and I love everything about him. If anyone has been through the same situation I would thoroughly enjoy some help! Even if you haven't, I really need all the help I can get.
Only thing you can do really is to focus on surviving, one day at a time. If you focus on the whole year, it will instantly feel overwhelming.
Also as already has been said, its best if you can find the way to looking at this situation without pinning all your hopes for a certain outcome. I know how it is to find someone so wonderful and lose them. Happened to me as an adult, after I divorced. Found a guy who seemed so great that I truly could never find someone better suited for me. He was there after my divorce. But a thought popped into my head, from God or an Angel I suppose, "What if this isn't meant to be forever?" It gave me a stab of alarm but I realized that there are some things in life over which I have no trouble. I can only control how I act, react or respond. So I said aloud, if its not meant to be, then I am okay with it. I will learn to treasure what I have for now without expecting it to last forever. there's always that "What if" in life. An older happily married couple has no guarantee that one of them might not die in a freak accident, from being murdered or from a fatal illness. And there is no way to prepare for or prevent certain things. Life truly doesnt come with guarantees so we must learn to live it to the best on a day by day basis.
I now its hard and right now you believe that the chances are greater that a college girl will make him forget you because she is prettier or more positive than you. The only answer to that is to give the college girls a run for their money, to become a stiff competition, and that means working on yourself, your self acceptance, being okay and Happy with your looks, knowing that you ARE attractive to lots of guys, just not every single one, and developing a self confidence. In tests done, it was found that men more often are attracted to a woman with self confidence and average looks over the model type with low self confidence. I have found this to be true for myself and used techniques to become more self confident after my divorce. If you want to work on yourself and hear more on how to feel that you are pretty enough and gain self confidence, then write and ask me and i'd be glad to share. I could do that now but this would get kinda long.
I've looked for the answer on the Internet, so does anyone know if grapefruit juice is good for burning fat like a regular grapefruit? I would get the kind that is 100%, but I can't stand the texture of fruit, so mine would have to be juice. Will I get the same, or at least similar, weight loss results with juice instead of straight fruit?
technically, whatever component is in a vegetable or fruit is going to be in its juice too. The only thing really missing with juice is the amount of fiber from the fruit or vegetable.
So if grapefruit did hold a key to weight loss by helping to burn fat, then the juice would work too.
However, I looked up what web MD had to say on it and the grapefruit diet is a diet thats been around since 1930s and so theres plenty enough research on it to know if it works. They say it doesn't. But that people who used the diet and lost weight likely didn't lose it due to the grapefruit or its juice, but more likely the other aspects of the diet along with the grapefruit that actually helped people lose some weight. There is research that drinking before a meal rather than during can help more to lose weight than other diet fads because the stomach gets filled up to a degree by liquids which also help to push things through later in digestion but mainly, the people who drink first, have eaten smaller meals. If the smaller meals are protein but not high carb and fresh rather than prepared foods, you are more likely to lose weight from that. Heres the link: http://www.webmd.com/diet/grapefruit-diet
Where I live Hot Topic and maybe forever 21, and Urban outfitters (although it's more hipster in my opinion) are the best options that I know of, other than thrift shop stuff. I was wondering if there id any way i can find out what scene/emo stores are in my area, I live in New York but i don't want to give too much information out?
Since I don't live east coast, I wouldnt know about stores in the area. But I can think of a catalog to order over the web through. To me, those of my daughters friends who wore emo style looked goth style to me, so I am giving a suggestion based on a place that advertises having Gothic,New Age, Celtic and Wicca apparell. I like lots of their stuff.
Its called the Pyramid Collection. Here's the website: www.PyramidCollection.com
Hope you like it.
ok i started my peiod when i was 2 now 13 im 5ft7 and size 6 feet but they havebt grown for ages my mom is 5ft4 and my dad is 6ft i want to stop grwoing when will i stop growing
I'm no doctor, but I can give you websites to look at. In the end, no matter what you read, you will still need a doctor to see you and determine if your growth is just high on the growth percentile or if you are way over and beyond that, growing at an alarming rate. In that case it would be called gigantism and there are things a Dr. can check for as this link explains. However, in gigantism, hands and feet and head are all also growing at quick rates and will be overly large.
Since your shoe size is 6 with this height, logic tells me its not gigantism but the actual height you inherited in the genes. Since Dad is 6 ft, there's a chance you may grow to be close to that height.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paJErIIMia8
Another thing to keep in mind is that girls often develop and grow faster at the younger ages than boys do. At the point girls start to slow down in height growth, males tend to start to catch up and overtake them. So very likely, you're perfectly normal and your height growth will begin to slow down now and likely you wont grow but another inch or two if at all. But for peace of mind, its worth going to see a Dr. to find out if you have a normal height, higher than most girls perhaps but still in the normal range. I actually know many females who are 5'7 to 5'9 in height and actually a few who are 5'10.
i rate hight
You want to fake virginity with a show of fake blood. You are in luck because there are companies that sell such a product. It can be ordered through the mail. I will list a video that shows how when it is broken as you wear it inside, a red liquid resembling blood comes out. Not much, just enough to make some spots and coat the penis red.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5BpqRVH7xE
http://artificialhymens.com/
http://www.hymenshop.net/
Since my girlfriend was introduced to my younger sister, they've always had a real sisterly relationship (even though they're not related). My sister was overweight for a very long time, and my girlfriend (who played soccer in college) served as an inspiration for her to lose weight
But over the past year and a half, their relationship has gotten worse
Only a few noticeable things have happened during this time - My sister has lost a lot of weight and has become her high school's top female sprinter, which is quite an accomplishment. On the other hand, my girlfriend and I are hooked on a pastry shop that opened very close by, and so we've both put on a bit of weight (about 40 lbs each in the past year and a half)
Anyway, my sister started wearing uber-trendy outfits that she was never comfortable in before, and my girlfriend actually gave her a lot of old clothes/outfits (everything from jeans and dresses to heels etc.)
As for us, my girlfriend is basically wearing yoga pants (which my sis makes fun of) and those suede Birkenstock slippers (Boston clogs?, my sister actually makes fun of them to my GF's face) and I'm wearing sweats a lot too now, which my sister also mocks
My sister and girlfriend are obviously not getting along like they used to. Sometimes, it feels like you can cut the tension in the room with a knife
AND - when we go to her track meets, she'll either act like she doesn't see us, or if we're in front of her friends, she'll actually make jokes about us. What needs to be done?
I am going to guess that during the time your sister was overweight, she suffered a lot of peoples rude comments, or not wanting to be around her because of her weight, basically rejected and she may never have let the family know. So she still suffers hurt from that and never got over the emotional hurt and trauma from that. Instead, now that she's lost weight, she chooses to be rude to and avoid people she used to be jealous of, hoping its going to make her happier in the long run, a bandaid to the hurt she still carries deep inside. And yes, I agree a lot of it could be that she is simply acting like a teen and making bad decisions and should be taught not to do that. Your parents could take the easy way and just tell her not to do that. But without determining first if she carries some deep down resentments that have been waiting to explode for a long time, it needs to be taken care of with counseling. It doesnt have to make sense as to who she focuses on to use as her choice of release or vengeance, even if neither of you ever teased her or ignored her for her previous weight, but it hurt her psychologically, I am sure of it. You might want to mention this to the parents to check it out. Asking her isn't good enough, she could easily deny it. I would think it better to have her visit a counselor, the parents give the professional their version of whats going on as you've told me and asking the counselor to determine if she's acting up out of buried hurt and pain that she never got over. If a counselor clears her and thats not the issue, then your parents can discipline her with whatever gets her attention so she will learn to shape up and behave nicely.
Me - 24/F
Boyfriend - 26/M
Sister - 30/F
I just jumped to conclusions and did something that I totally regret.
After I came home from my boyfriend's house yesterday my grandmother asked me the reason why I didn't have my period at the moment. I told her that sometimes my period is late. She then asked me tell me when you get it, then she told me that if I'm pregnant that it's the end of my college. That really hurt me because my family has always said things along the lines of, "A family should support a pregnant woman in her endeavors in raising her child," and that if my sister became pregnant they would help her.
I am a college senior, they would only need to assist me and my boyfriend in raising our child for one semester. The two of us would save up and then get our own place and support our own child. My father whose been unemployed for years would watch the baby while my boyfriend worked (he graduates this semester, and would be needing a job) and I went to school. As a thank you for the support and free child care, my boyfriend would drive them around (I don't drive yet) and help out in areas where we could.
This is the scenario that I always thought up in my head, because I THOUGHT that they would want to help me.
Honestly, I am stressed about possibly being pregnant. I didn't take my birth control and it's been 35 days since my last period started. I'm just telling myself that before I was on the pill I would get my period the next week of the following month, ever since I first started having sex with my boyfriend four years ago.
Although I have experienced pregnancy symptoms, I've also experienced them before and it turned out to be nothing. I think that going off the pill changed my body chemistry more than I realized. I'm also nursing a yeast infection that started off from a bacterial infection. Possibly that is why I haven't had my period yet.
That's not the big problem though, really... no one needs to give me advice on that. The problem is that I made my sister, who means a lot to me, feel like total crap by pointing the finger at her for discussing the conversation that I had with her with my mother and grandmother, and then telling her that my boyfriend's brother's sister is a better older sister than her.... that's totally untrue and unfair. All of this stuff I said to her was said in a one-sided facebook message.
After she responded to me, I tried taking back all of the things I said. I sincerely apologized to her, she was angry because all I did was accuse her and she never got to respond back to me.
What can I do to make her understand that I'm sorry and that I love her?
Just be sincere and keep telling her that youre sorry and let her know you reacted in anger assuming she said something to mom and grandma that you were telling in confidence. Perhaps grandma found out another way.
You mentions coming off the pill but I am not sure why or when that fell in the scheme of things. The pill though can cause pregnancy symptoms because the hormones in it fake your body into believing that it is pregnant so it wont release an egg. thats why some girls react to the pill by feeling pregnant, and sometimes the symptoms are so uncomfortable and severe they need to switch to another type of birth control. At no point should a girl not be on any birth control if switching just because she had issues with it, that means you may not be protected fully, especially if still having sex.
You also mentioned yeast or bacterial infection and that got me thinking about something I learned by accident. I remember a time I had an infection that didn't go away on its own and I was on the pill at the time. So I saw my Dr who prescribed antibiotics for it. My Dr. failed to say anything, but when I got to the pharmacy, the pharmacist asked me if I was on the pill and I wanted to know why they asked. I was told that the medication would lessen or cancel out the effect of birth control while I was taking the antibiotic for my vaginitis. So if you were taking antibiotics at any point in time, you may not have been covered by the pill for that one reason. I was upset that the Dr failed to tell me. All I had to do is make sure that if I had sex, that hubby and I used condoms during that time.
So, yes, after this much time, its a good chance you are pregnant and waiting to take a pregnancy test isn't going to make it less likely or change the outcome, so why not just take the test so you know the answer. ANd remember that Grandma grew up in another age and has a mind set of a girl being pregnant back then pretty much ruined her life. Its not so today. She may have agreed with Mom in the past conversations on the subject to keep peace with your Mom rather than voice her own feelings and opinions that differed, but for some reason she had no problem showing you her true thoughts on it. Grandma is likely worried for you and just isn't thinking straight about how to support you properly in her speech and just saying things she normally wouldn't only because she is so concerned. Dont let it get to you. get a test and then have a good family talk if you are pregnant. Good luck dear.
my boy friend just send me that I think it means I'm a queen but idk what do YOU THINK it means feel free yo say anything
I see 3 squares with some numbers in them. Is this some new kind of texting message ability? I know about the short cut text language but have never seen anything like that. If you have never seen anything like that in texting before either, I would ask him if he's having problems with his phone cus you got a message you couldn't understand as one of the words was replaced by little squares.
im looking to spice things up in the bedroom for my girlfriend and i was wondering if i could get some tips she mainly likes getting eaten out but i want to make her feel like the only girl in the world any tips?
tiegen already gave lots of info. I only want to stress the importance of good communication during sex, not just when getting used to a new sex partner. See, you can already tell from previous advice giver that there is a lot involved and its not as simple as you may think. You do need to ask her how what you are doing is feeling to her. Not only do all women have different things that work for them but some times, there's a woman for whom its always different...what worked last night feels rough the next night. What didn't produce an orgasm last night all of a sudden brings on the best orgasm for her ever just the next day. Thats kinda how it is for me so theres a great need for both me and husband and we are older folks, to communicate always, not just when we first became sexual together. Its the same for him. He may want me to do something different at any given point in time and will let me know.
So really, its never gonna be about surprising a lady so she feels special, its gonna be the good communication that afterwards has her feeling like the most special, treasured woman in the world.
My boyfriend fingered me hard last week. Got blood on his hands. And now I am late for my periods. Is my hymen broken cause there was lots of blood. Am I safe ? I am 21.
If you're wondering if fingering can delay a period the answer is no. Can fingering tear a hymen if this is the first time, yes. Tampons can do it too, so can your own fingers or any sex toy like a dildo. Having a rough edge on the finger nail can easily tear or scratch too at any time in your life or not having enough lube. I can't know what you feel 'lots of blood' to be as you and I may measure amounts of such a thing differently.
If you were bleeding amounts that could fill a sanitary pad for periods, then its more likely it was your period and it may have been a short one if you bled the next day too or if you're prone to some lighter periods with just mostly spotting.
I have known sex to bring on my period rather than delay it, especially if it was about to start calender wise but wasn't for some reason. If I was feeling crummy with the wait, I would ask the hubby to have sex cus within a short time after, it would start. I think it has something to do with the movement of the womb during sex and during orgasm that helped initiate the release of the un needed lining of the womb.
Hymens are quite stretchy, like a rubber band so for many females, it simply slowly stretches to the needed size rather than tear. Tearing happens for some. Often tearing can occur of the hymen or any part of the vaginal cavity no matter how long you've been having sex, if your partner forces himself in too quickly when you are not fully lubed and ready. The same goes for use of fingers. Any kind of hard rough sex can produce some spotting that you notice again for the next couple time you wipe after going pee but there is no need of a period pad.
You did not spell out what else was going on previously. So if he had some of his own fresh cum on his fingers, even pre-cum, there's a chance of live sperm being on his fingers and transferred inside where they have a chance to go fertilize your egg if there was an egg released to fertilize. Often, just the worry of having any kind of sexual play, even without the penis in vagina sex, is enough to make a girl worry and stress over the possibility of becoming pregnant. So the worry and stress alone is enough to make your period late to start. It likely will start soon. If it doesnt, take a pregnancy test for peace of mind. You are of an age where most likely you will begin to have sex more often now so its a good idea to go see your Dr. and have a talk about your birth control options. Don't rely just on a condom, cus lots of girls have gotten pregnant without having the penis ever inside her. Birth control is a pretty good peace of mind and worth it, rather than worrying every time after having sex. Thats no way to live and actually enjoy the activity.