|
My little sister's relationship with my girlfriend of 5 years is suffering
Since my girlfriend was introduced to my younger sister, they've always had a real sisterly relationship (even though they're not related). My sister was overweight for a very long time, and my girlfriend (who played soccer in college) served as an inspiration for her to lose weight
But over the past year and a half, their relationship has gotten worse
Only a few noticeable things have happened during this time - My sister has lost a lot of weight and has become her high school's top female sprinter, which is quite an accomplishment. On the other hand, my girlfriend and I are hooked on a pastry shop that opened very close by, and so we've both put on a bit of weight (about 40 lbs each in the past year and a half)
Anyway, my sister started wearing uber-trendy outfits that she was never comfortable in before, and my girlfriend actually gave her a lot of old clothes/outfits (everything from jeans and dresses to heels etc.)
As for us, my girlfriend is basically wearing yoga pants (which my sis makes fun of) and those suede Birkenstock slippers (Boston clogs?, my sister actually makes fun of them to my GF's face) and I'm wearing sweats a lot too now, which my sister also mocks
My sister and girlfriend are obviously not getting along like they used to. Sometimes, it feels like you can cut the tension in the room with a knife
AND - when we go to her track meets, she'll either act like she doesn't see us, or if we're in front of her friends, she'll actually make jokes about us. What needs to be done?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Well theres not a whole lot that can be done here, your sister isnt obligated to be her friend but she should at the very least be civil with her or not be around her if she cant.
on the weight thing, you two could really bond if you tried to take walks and lose weight together??
this can really help as a couple. My husband and i started taking short walks and started slowly eating healthier things. It simple you can still have things you like but try just replacing one meal a day with something healthier. ANYTHING, a salad, some subway sandwiches you could split a foot long even. Buy less junk at the grocery store or go with whoever in your house is buying things you would crave late at night, and buy something thats healthier that you could feel ok with eating instead. you dont have to go all cold turkey (no one can do that trust me it never works long term either) the main things to cut down on are junk foods and any kind of sodas even diet. drink teas or water and take walks and youll both start losing that weight in no time. or it will at least jump start your body to a healthier live style.
Try not to eat with your eyes portion wise, and most of all LISTEN to your stomach. eat slower and stop eating when your starting to feel full. Surprisingly alot of people dont listen to their stomach until its too late and think they need to clean their plate and stuff themselves sick.
good luck, and tell your sis to stay away from your girlfriend and you if shes going to say shitty things for right now.
good luck
]
I am going to guess that during the time your sister was overweight, she suffered a lot of peoples rude comments, or not wanting to be around her because of her weight, basically rejected and she may never have let the family know. So she still suffers hurt from that and never got over the emotional hurt and trauma from that. Instead, now that she's lost weight, she chooses to be rude to and avoid people she used to be jealous of, hoping its going to make her happier in the long run, a bandaid to the hurt she still carries deep inside. And yes, I agree a lot of it could be that she is simply acting like a teen and making bad decisions and should be taught not to do that. Your parents could take the easy way and just tell her not to do that. But without determining first if she carries some deep down resentments that have been waiting to explode for a long time, it needs to be taken care of with counseling. It doesnt have to make sense as to who she focuses on to use as her choice of release or vengeance, even if neither of you ever teased her or ignored her for her previous weight, but it hurt her psychologically, I am sure of it. You might want to mention this to the parents to check it out. Asking her isn't good enough, she could easily deny it. I would think it better to have her visit a counselor, the parents give the professional their version of whats going on as you've told me and asking the counselor to determine if she's acting up out of buried hurt and pain that she never got over. If a counselor clears her and thats not the issue, then your parents can discipline her with whatever gets her attention so she will learn to shape up and behave nicely.
]
Tell her not to be rude. She's a teenager. She needs you, and her parents, to put an end to her mocking of people. That is awful behaviour. There should be consequences for behaving rudely, but you are her brother, not her parent, so all you can do is call her on it and remind her that making fun of people is a shitty little thing to do.
Her parents should be encouraging her to be polite and you, her brother, should still be showing up to support her.
Although it was nice when your sister and your girlfriend where friends, your sister is not obligated to be friends with your girlfriend. So all that needs to be done here, is to enforce to your little sister that although she is certainly free to like, or not like, your girlfriend, she cannot be nasty and rude.
The weight gain is basically irrelevant, except that is what your little sister is latching on to for mockery. If you or your girlfriend are feeling insecure and want to loose weight, that is entirely different issue. Your sister must simply stop acting shitty.
]
More Questions: |