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My friend never seems happy for me. Is she jealous?
Weve been best friends for 3 years now and im glad i have her. But she never seems to be happy for me. No matter what i do, to her she can do it better. She always has to one up me. And copy me. Anytime i say i want a new piercing she says eww and sometimes like that wont look good on you. But then a couple days later she will tell me that she wants that piercing that she said eww to. She has to steal all of the attention. No matter where we go she always puts herself first it seems. When me and my bf broke up she didnt help me at all. I would try talking to her about it and she would ignore me like i wasnt even talking and start talking about her an her bf. Then when they broke up and i would try talking to her about me and my bf she would always change it on her and say that her bf did all the same thing and i dont know what it feels like to have that happen. She pretty much said im not hurt and if i was it wasnt even close to how bad she was. Which really pissed me off. Obviously she had no idea how hurt i was because she wouldnt take the time to listen to anything i had to say. I just got my cosmetology license and am now working at a salon. You know what she said when i: graduated from beauty school; passed my stateboard; got my license..? "Good". Then started talking about herself. I showed her my business cards i got and she ignored it. I showed her all my stuff that i bought for the salon. She ignored that too. My license just came in the mail and i showed her that. She ignored that. Like excuse me for being excited and wanting to tell my best friend about it. And im saying i think she is jealous because she copies me. Now all she has talked about is now shes going to beauty school and that she payed way more than i did for school stuff. She said it costed her 2000 dollars which i know is a lie. How do i know? because i went to beauty school too!! she doesnt like to see me making something of myself. There are people i dont even know all excited for me saying congratulations and theyre happy for me! But all my best friend says is good?? Honestly ive been telling her stuff about me working now just to see what her response will be. Its always just oh or she doesnt even respond. I mean if she was doing something like this id definitely be all excited for her!! its a big deal! but nope she acts like im not doing anyhthing. I went through hell to get where i am now. Beauty school was not all that. I was depressed,thought about killing myself, didnt talk to anybody because what i was going through at the time and having to go to school 8:30-5 monday through friday. Did she know anything about that? No because she wouldnt listen. It was always about her. And i have already tried talking to her about her not caring about anything i have to say but nothing changes. I just dont know why she would be like this.
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Yup, you guessed it, she is jealous. So the question remains as to why she might feel jealous.
A pretty common reason is the lack of self confidence and having a low self image. Its easier in this case to feel better than others if we say things or do things to make the friend look worse, lower the other person so we can feel like we are above them. Often such a person will brag or say things about themselves to get the attention she craves. Perhaps she's been raised by parents with high standards that realistically could not be met by anyone yet she was expected to meet those requirements and it could be for these reasons she is this way. Until someone can get her to really lower her defenses and share whats really going on for her and why she feels low self image or confidence, she is not going to be helped. In fact, the more she copies others, the more she'll be miserable because she may not be doing something she likes or has a talent for. She needs to find what in life makes her happy, what she has a passion for and pursue that but if she's in denial about what's going on deep inside her, the kind of negative thoughts she has directed at herself, you won't be able to help her. Just ignore what she says, don't let it get to you if shes not ready for help. She's your friend for a reason, you must get something from the relationship. Hopefully one day sooner than later, she'll be ready to face the fact she's got some negative thinking about herself she needs help with. She may not be able to overcome it herself and need to see a counselor for some time to learn what she's doing wrong and what things can help her. So save my reply. Have a talk with her based on what I described...just ask her whats up using the situation/scenerios I mentioned.
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Something has happened in her life to always want that attention. Most likely she is jealous. I have a friend exactly like that.whenever i wanna talk about anything she puts it down or ignores me. It does make you feel crappy. But a friend like that doesn't deserve you. If the only thing she brings to your friendship is negativity then she shouldn't be your friend. If you told her about what she does and how she makes you feel.And doesn't care to change move on.it hurts but you deserve a friend to be as awesome as you are. Focus on your goals. If you still can't believe that she's jealous think about is she an only child? Or her family isn't always there. There's.something in your life she wants and because you have whatever it may be she always tries to brag or put you down because that makes her feel better about whatever it is that she doesn't have. I hope this helped
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