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Boyfriend going to college... How to cope?
This whole day I've been crying on and off since my boyfriend(19) is going to be leaving for college in less than a week... I'm a senior(17) in high school and I'm really looking forward to graduate... But not the in between. I cant imagine going to school without him and I feel like I'm going to be so lonely. We are still planning to date throughout this coming year and I'm planning to go to the same college...
However, on top of all of this I get really scared he will find someone more prettier or more positive than me. He says hes not but I get really scared. I just really love him.
Please do not say that its just young love since its way more than that... I've lost my virginity to him and we've been dating for a while and I love everything about him. If anyone has been through the same situation I would thoroughly enjoy some help! Even if you haven't, I really need all the help I can get.
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Hi! So my boyfriend is going to be a senior this year, and I am a ready feeling your pain even though it is still a year away. I'm scared that he will find someone better even though we have made it through so much and he has become such a huge part of my life. If you guys truly love each other and want it to work no matter what, it will. But you also never know what could happen. If it doesn't end how you want to, just trust that everything happens for a reason and in the big picture it'll work out for good. But also something that makes it harder is that you have gone as far with him as you have. Having that physical connection, especially for the first time makes it so much harder no matter what, but here's my one tidbit of advice. In your relationship, strive for the best, but be prepared for the worst. Try to figure out just what that means for you personally. Good luck! Xoxo
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It's ok to be worried or even scared about your boyfriend being away. I have a long distance relationship ship my boyfriend is a truck driver(23). I (20) worry too because anything can happen. But you gotta have trust in your boyfriend and you gotta believe in what you have for eachother Will over power any temptations he may face in college. Does your bf worry that you'll meet someone while he's away? Im pretty sure he's worried about losing you too. But the love that you give him, probably makes he secure to where he's not worried. Everything will turn out fine. Be loving and supportive of his move to college. Everything will ne fine just keep in touch with him..
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Only thing you can do really is to focus on surviving, one day at a time. If you focus on the whole year, it will instantly feel overwhelming.
Also as already has been said, its best if you can find the way to looking at this situation without pinning all your hopes for a certain outcome. I know how it is to find someone so wonderful and lose them. Happened to me as an adult, after I divorced. Found a guy who seemed so great that I truly could never find someone better suited for me. He was there after my divorce. But a thought popped into my head, from God or an Angel I suppose, "What if this isn't meant to be forever?" It gave me a stab of alarm but I realized that there are some things in life over which I have no trouble. I can only control how I act, react or respond. So I said aloud, if its not meant to be, then I am okay with it. I will learn to treasure what I have for now without expecting it to last forever. there's always that "What if" in life. An older happily married couple has no guarantee that one of them might not die in a freak accident, from being murdered or from a fatal illness. And there is no way to prepare for or prevent certain things. Life truly doesnt come with guarantees so we must learn to live it to the best on a day by day basis.
I now its hard and right now you believe that the chances are greater that a college girl will make him forget you because she is prettier or more positive than you. The only answer to that is to give the college girls a run for their money, to become a stiff competition, and that means working on yourself, your self acceptance, being okay and Happy with your looks, knowing that you ARE attractive to lots of guys, just not every single one, and developing a self confidence. In tests done, it was found that men more often are attracted to a woman with self confidence and average looks over the model type with low self confidence. I have found this to be true for myself and used techniques to become more self confident after my divorce. If you want to work on yourself and hear more on how to feel that you are pretty enough and gain self confidence, then write and ask me and i'd be glad to share. I could do that now but this would get kinda long.
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There is an old saying that "Distance makes the heart grow fonder." Frankly that is not really true. There are other sayings that are better suited to your question, "What will be will be, and “If it is meant to be it will be."
Maybe your mom or dad said these to you, maybe not. The saying that best suits your question is, "What will be will be." You know it is also possible that you might find someone else. Your senior year in high school is very important year both from an education standpoint and socially as well.
I understand that today, right now you both love each other. You are correct in your feeling that once he leaves he might find someone new and you too might find one new which is a concern he might have. This is all normal for high school romances which are what the two of you have. High school romances rarely work out in the long term. Facts are that you may not be accepted to the same college. You are going to want to enjoy all the social events of your senior year and your friends are going to push you to do so. Something that is understood to be just platonic could very well turn out to be something more.
The best thing to do for each other is to say to each other; "I'll see you at Christmas, hopefully we will still have the love for each other that we have today." When he goes back to school after winter break if the loves is still there you say the same thing, I'll see you in the spring." What you’re doing is allowing each other to fully enjoy what this year’s school has to offer you. At the same time you are saving yourselves from a big hurt when he returns on Christmas break.
I've been there I have the bruises to prove it. I have also just celebrated my 44th wedding anniversary to the best woman I have ever met. Out of all my friends from high school only one of them is still married to each other.
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