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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I want to make body building must I quit masterbation

Other than the fact you may be too tired to masturbate after a workout session. One has nothing to do with the other. You can go a head and enjoy both activities if you like.

Is it possible for a person to have both the disorganized and paranoid schizophrenia combined? And if so, what would that be called?

to shorten the answer Razhie gave you. Disorganized and paranoid are symptoms related to schizophrenia. These and other symptoms can manifest themselves in anyone suffering schizophrenia. The sub symptoms are not always present at one time and therefore it is now recommended that the psychiatrist treat the primary ailment and make that the diagnoses. Sub symptoms are treated as they manifest if the manifest.

I got ur comment on my question about my husband watching porn and I have confronted him about it and he denies it and the promises he wont do it.. every male in this world will say that porn is natural and normal.. sure maybe it is.. but u men don't look at it from a females point of view that has issues with her husband watching porn all the time behind her back.. if he has me who he can get any with whenever he wants then why would he continue to watch porn? I don't understand.. he says I am attractive and beautiful and sexy.. but ive had 2 kids.. so I don't think I am and I know im not.. I haven't been able to lose all the baby weight... theres been things that I did or didn't do but I stopped or started because of him and for him! so why cant he do the same for me with this one thing?! I just don't understand! sure we have a sex life.. he is happy (or so he says) I am happy but this crap is literally driving me insane!! I don't know what else to do cause confronting him obviously doesn't work..

After reading this question I went back and reread your original question, my answer as well as the answer Razhie provided. Razhie is one of the other advisers on this site whose insight into questions I respect. I come to the conclusion after reading my answer and hers that you were given two different perspectives on the same basic theme of an answer.

Now I'm not going to sit here and tell you your views on this subject are wrong. That would not only be wrong of me but very rude as well. These are your feelings and that is what makes them right for you.

You ask the question why does your husband look at porn when he has you and your willing to show him your body (even with its changes, we will come back to this) does he look at porn? Other than to tell you it is no reflection on you I'm not sure how to answer this question

Maybe this will make some sense. When I was young, before I met my wife, I had many sexual relations with women, women I lusted after. What started as lust with my wife soon turned into love and the first time we had sex, it was not sex, we made love. It was the very first time I ever made love to a women.

Since meeting my wife I have not had sex again, we make love and yes I still lust for my wife after 42 years of marriage and yes I still find my wife's body desirable even after a mastectomy and childbirth. The only difference today is when we make love I have to remember which breast is the replacement and focus on her original breast as she has no feeling in the replacement breast.

Sure her body has changed over the years so has mine. I know I am not the young desirable stud I was when we met. Time and the great cook my wife is has taken its toll on me too. We all change in appearance as we grow older, it's a fact of life.

Outer appearance is what attracts us to one another but if that is all that we have in common is sex appeal it soon becomes apparent that that we cannot have a life together. Man and woman cannot live on sex alone. Our outer appearance is nothing more than a book cover to attract someone to get to know the inner person and that is who we fall in love with. This is who your husband loves. The woman who is a nurturing, loving person who has raised my children. Made a home for us and helped me make a career for so we can provide for her and our family.

Yes I look at porn both pictures and tape. It's meaningless stimulation. Some fantasy time but when I'm finished the fantasy is over and I would not think of going of trying to find a girl who looks like one of the girls in the pictures or tapes. Instead I go to bed with my wife. We don't always make love sometimes we just spoon.

I am in no way trying to demean my wife or your husband trying to demean you. Men have been raised to admire the female and the female form. To me watching porn or looking at pictures is just that. I'm fairly certain that is what it is for your husband as well.

I just as certain that you were raised to believe porn is wrong. That it is demeaning to women and the actresses and models as well. While I can't speak for foreign actors. In documentaries of the American Porn Industry Porn stars a very well compensated for their acting, as much as 7 to 8 figure incomes for 5 to 6 films a year for popular stars. These same documentaries also point out that casting calls for these films are well attended by working stars as well as men and women wanting to work in the industry.

If this is true, that no one is holding a gun to the heads of these women or men. How could earning an honest living be demeaning to them. This leaves only the question of it being demeaning to you. This is your belief one that I can't change only you can. All I can say is I do not believe you husband is trying to demean you in any way. That like other men he enjoys recreational porn and thus tries to hide it from you so as not to hurt you or demean you in any way.

In closing let me say if this is the only issue you and your husband have between you in your married life. In the grand scheme of things it is a rather small one. One that between two adults a compromise should be able to be worked out. Just remember that the definition of compromise is something neither party likes but both parties can live with.

Hi, I am sixteen years old, and I think I may be pregnant. Nearly a month ago, I hooked up with this guy after work. He didn't cum in me, and the condom he wore was too small so it may have ripped, but I know that when a penis is erect it leaks semen. I've been getting bloated a lot, threw up once, and now for the past maybe, five days or less not too sure I've been having brown discharge. It's not a lot like a period, but it's definitely noticeable. My stomach is getting a little harder in the lower parts, but my two tests I took were negative!! I've always had regular periods, so I don't really think this discharge is my period at all. I'm thinking maybe implantation bleeding? Or just spotting? Does it seem like I could be pregnant or am I just imagining it? Should I wait a while and take another test?

Two negative tests says your not pregnant. There are more false positives than false negative tests. To put your mind at ease you could test again with a different test kit.

Most likely the spotting you're seeing is your period trying to come through. Most likely the problem and the feelings you're having are a direct result of the level of stress you have put on yourself over possibly being pregnant. Stress is the biggest killer of periods behind pregnancy.

If taking another test with a different test kit will help you relax and lower your stress level then do so. Your next period should come along on schedule.

I would recommend that if you are going to be sexually active that you see your GYN and get birth control or go to a planned parenthood clinic. By a law called HIPPA you are old enough to request birth control without parental permission. You are also old enough to see a doctor for anything related to your reproductive system without parental permission. All you need say to the doctor is you are asking for your rights under HIPPA.

I'm 15 and I do masturbate using an extra vibrating toothbrush and a back massager I got from target. I don't have anything else but my fingers to use for penetration. I do believe I climax because my back arches and it's the most amazing feeling ever. But the problem is I can't "squirt". I don't know how to make myself reach that point. Help??

The answer to your question is most women do not squirt. It is not part of the makeup of a women to squirt. Those that do will not squirt as one might see in a porno movie.

In a porno movie the gush of fluid that is ejaculated from the woman is actually trick photography. The action is stopped. Her vagina is loaded with fluid and through muscle contraction she is able to expel the fluid. She is not squirting or ejaculating in the manner you are thinking

For most women when they orgasm they will just have more fluid, enough to coat the penis or finger if masturbating, so you can have less friction during the orgasm.

I'm in 7th grade and I have a D in math. I try really hard, and turn all my homework in on time. I don't normally study, but even when I do I still get less than 50% right on my test. My mom puts a lot of pressure on me for failing. Don't tell me to talk to her about it, because I won't. Also don't give me crap saying "we'll quit being stupid then" or "get a tutor" and "just talk to her about it brat" because I already have cutting issues. But I need help

You appear to be very stressed out over this and I will assume for the moment this is behind the cutting issue or at least partly behind them.

Being in 7th grade this would make you about 11 or 12 years old, correct. I will also assume you mom doesn't know of your cutting, correct.

At the moment your cutting issue bothers me more than your failing math does as the cutting issue needs to be resolved before we can work on the math problem. People cut because they are so stressed they need to feel something. This stress also causes depression. Depression also cause us to lose perspective which in part is also why you may be having trouble with math. Losing or not having a proper perspective could mean you are not processing the problems or the methods properly. How do I know this. I've been there with depression and I'm old enough to be your grandfather as well.

The depression you are suffering is something that my parents called a phase that most children went through and still go through only today doctors have a name for it. It is called teenage depression. It is a clinical depression caused by puberty and a lack of 1 or two hormones that help control stress and moods. These hormones are easily balanced with medication.

Then in working with a psychologist in what is called talk therapy you work to find out just what is the major stressor that is causing the depression and the need for cutting. Once this is found the psychologist will work with you to help you deal with it in a better way. Best of all anything you say to the psychologist is totally confidential. No one including mom will ever know what is said in therapy. The psychologist will only recommend things mom can do to help you.

This is the help I believe you need to overcome the cutting problem and when you are able to be more relaxed and see thing properly your math skills will get better as well.

I understand you may not be able to go to mom and ask for the help you need. Is there a trusted teacher, school principal or other adult you are comfortable talking to such as a Aunt, Uncle or Grandparent. If so please speak with then, tell them what is going on with you and the cutting. That you need help and ask them to talk to mom.

The best people to talk to is a trusted teacher or school principal. They can once you ask for help directly intercede on your behalf. In fact once you ask for their help they are required by law to help you so this is the fastest way for help to be had.

OF all the things you could do to feel something or relieve stress you have chosen the worst one. Cut in the wrong place or too deep and you can bleed out before help can arrive. I know this for in my career as a firefighter I have seen this. Please ask someone for help today.

So, normally, I wouldn't really care much about anything like this at all, but I've realized that a lot of things in life are affected by how you present yourself. I've always just gone with what's been comfortable(jeans, old army tees, band tees, hoodies, cheap button-up shirts, etc.) but I'd like to change things up a little bit.

Just a little though. I'm not going to start wearing a suit and tie, I'm not going to wear my pants at my knees, whatever. I've never been a tool or preppy, and I don't plan on it. I just want to be dressed a little nicer I guess. Something that will make me look a little more respectable as I look at engineering schools, a little attractive, and without pinning me as "nerdy". Yes, I know I am a nerd(Doctor Who FTW), and I know this sounds superficial, but I've never LOOKED nerdy.

So I guess my question is, "What is your opinion on what would look nice, without being preppy or feminine?" I'm a 19-year-old guy, with a slim/athletic build of around 125lbs, 5'10'', and I have brown eyes and medium length, curly brown hair.

Any tips or places to look? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

As you get older, as you are finding now, appearance counts quite a bit. If you need to interview for college placement slacks and a polo shirt are appropriate. You hair at any style that is you should be clean and well groomed. You should be clean shaven or if you are into the unshaven look you should be as neat in appearance as possible. In two words "well groomed."

As someone who has done both initial and final interview of prospective employees there is not a lot that we can learn about you from the interview or your resume. Candidates for positions are rated on our interviewing experience and gut instincts. I'm positive I have turned away the best candidate based on appearance alone.

When it comes to Nerdy, there is nerdy and then there is NERDY. One is bookish and compartmentalized; the other is what people believe nerds to look like. They may both be good candidates or the stereotype nerd may be the better candidate. The one that gets the job is the Nerdy on whose appearance is not the stereotype appearance.

Hopefully you understand the point I am trying to make. You can be you most of the time. When you are applying for a position being clean cut, well dressed putting your best foot forward will always serve you well.

alright so my husband and I have been together for 5 years and married 2 1/2 years.. and in the past I have caught him with porn on his phone (first time about 3 years ago..) and I know he still does it.. ive seen it.. but everytime I confront him he denies it! and says he doesn't know how it got there.. hello.. im not dumb.. it doesn't just pop up!! theres only been one time in all the years that he actually confessed to it! and that night we had a long talk and I explained to him how it made me feel and what not.. he hugged me and comforted me and promised me that he would never do it again.. but he has.. and I just found some stuff on the tv tonight that he was looking at porn related things.. what do I do?! things have been going really good in our marriage and I don't wanna say anything and make things bad again.. and I don't wanna not say anything and him think that because he aint "getting caught" that he can continue to do it.. I don't understand why he does it.. we are VERY sexually active.. an what not.. so its not like he isn't getting any.. so idk why he insist on watching it.. idk if its me.. or him.. if I should say something... or not.. and yes, I know its just porn.. and I know its not like he is having an affair.. but its the fact that I have told him and explained to him NUMEROUS times how it makes me feel and everytime he promises he doesn't do it or he will stop... but he doesn't stop and he does do it!! I don't want porn to ruin my marriage!

First things first; the males of our species are very visual. Porn satisfies the need for visual stimulation. Frankly a wife could parade a platoon of naked women through the house daily and most husbands, I'd venture up to 95% would still look at porn. Fact is it is hard to get away from porn as it is, in soft porn all around us. Ad agencies use soft porn to sell just about everything from After Shave to Wax for the car.

Speaking of sales heavy on soft porn; let's look at the Victoria Secrets yearly TV Show. Any guess to the demographics of who makes up the largest percentage of viewers are. Males in the 18 to 49 age bracket. Strangely right after the show these are the same customers who make up the largest percentage of customers for what was shown on the broadcast which just barely, no pun intended, meets the censors approval for the hour it is broadcast in.

Your husbandâ��s looking at porn is no reflection on you. There is nothing you did, didn't do, could do or could not do that would change why he looks at porn. Even though I am old enough to be your grandfather I believe I can say that young boys have not changed. Our interest in porn starts at an early age. When I was young we started out swiping the old man's copy of Playboy. Today it is Mayfair and other magazines. This is a young man's first introduction to the opposite sex. How he learns about the opposite sex and it grows from there.

Parents today still tell their children about the birds and the bees but we still do not tell them how to make love. For boys they learn initially how to make love from watching porn. Sure, and I will get kicked out of the boys club for this one, we are somewhat inept at first even after all the porn watching. We really do not learn how to make love until we meet the woman we want to make a life with and learn how to make love to her.

Yes I have been a little blunt here and apologize if I offended you. Though my advice to you on this is to not be offended by your husbandâ��s porn watching. He has been doing so for a much longer time than he has known you and it is part of who he is, who you have come to love. He is not trying to disrespect you with his porn watching.

The fact that he comes home every evening has dinner with you and sleeps in your bed with you. That the two of you have an active and enjoyable sex life is really all that is needed in a happy marriage.

You might consider what my wife said to me when we first married and adopt it. She told me; "I could look at the menu all I wanted; but if I tried to reorder she would cut off a very important appendage of mine. This included looking at porn. We will be married 43 years come July.

1st date of conception: 16th of September
Last had sex: between the 19th-25th of August
Had sex: 22nd of September

Is it possible that my conception date is wrong? Am i pregnant from the time I sex between 19th-25th of August or the 22nd of September. I know my conception date can't be wrong - or can it? Midwives up here are pretty goddamn accurate. ARGH.

I'm no mathematician but over 30 days between last sex and conception???? Not Possible!!!!

If you missed the period that should have occurred between the sex in August and sex in September it was because of something else such as stress over possibly being pregnant. Though no way could you be pregnant until possibly after the 22nd of September.

17F

So let's just start out by saying I'm a lesbian. Well at least I think I am. When I first came out, I came out as bisexual only later to feel no strong connection towards guys at all. I am physically and emotionally attracted to females. I am also demisexual, meaning I can't pursue sex in a relationship until the romantic/connection aspect is there.

So here is my problem. I am attracted to guys as well. Physically, and depending on the guy, emotionally/mentally as well. The only reason why I wouldn't pursue a relationship with a guy is because I don't think I could have sex with one. I mean people have said when you're actually having sex it doesn't matter, but if I could only deal with male genitalia during sex, that would create a bad sexual connection.

The reason why I bring this up is because lately there is one guy who has caught my eye. A bit older, artist, cute and has a great personality. I've gotten the hint that he's into me and as much as I want to pursue it, I don't know if I can.

Do you think I'd be more comfortable with sexual aspects of a relationship with a guy if a romantic connection were to happen? Or do you think I'd be better off just dating girls?

So confused.

There are two things that stand out to me in what you have written. First: is you wrote that you are "demisexual," yet you also write you have a physical attraction to a person in this case a guy. This does not fit the true definition of demisexual. Second: You write; "I'm a lesbian, well at least I think I am."

The medical science behind being a Lesbian or Gay today says people are born this way. Being gay is not something you decide to be. If you are a true Lesbian you would have known this long before you reached puberty. Some young people feel that they age lesbians or gay because their first sexual experience was or still is with the same sex. Most teenagers experience their first sexual experience with the same sex. This does not make them gay or bisexual.

For a female to fear the male penis is quite normal as well. There are many reasons for this. Most are how you were raised and what your mother has told you. Some mothers have been known to put the fear of life itself into their daughters over what a male penis can do to them, the pain it can cause them if they have sex when they are young.

I will admit a male’s penis is not the most beautiful thing in the world and it is probably not meant to be. It has a function and in a healthy male it functions properly. Now of course I am speaking an s a male and some women may disagree with me. To me speaking as a male a women's vagina is a most beautiful thing. Again I am sure there are women out there who will disagree with me.

You have labeled yourself a lesbian something I believe you are not. You may be a bisexual person but you cannot yet put that label on yourself. In fact what I believe you are is someone who is still trying to figure out just what her sexuality is.

There is nothing wrong if you find that, after experiencing sex with both males and females, that you go both ways. There are many bisexuals out there who have full active sex lives and a rich full life with a husband and children.

I am not recommending you go and have intercourse with a young male. Given your age I would suggest since you have waited this long you can wait until you are of legal age and full entitled to a sex life to engage in intercourse with a man. In the meantime there are things a guy and a girl can do that is just short of intercourse that will allow you to become comfortable with the male penis.

There is also nothing wrong with telling you partner of you fear or concern. IF he truly loves you and is not just lusting for you, he will be a careful and trusting lover and give you the time you need to get comfortable with him.

So I am afraid to talk to a past friend cause of a misunderstanding of communication and who I am My past friend overreacted and was confused the the school, parents, and unwanted people were involved an punished me for doing the right thing Im extremely afraid the school getting involved causing more Bullshit again or her parents judging me before they even get to know me again do you think I should at least try to prove myself to them both and talk to her?

I understand that there are times when a misunderstanding can get out of hand. From what you have written it sounds like this is one of those times. Given that the school and parents were somehow involved in whatever happened I am hesitant to offer advice without knowing the full story. Especially since it seem you were punished for this and not your friend or at least you did not say so.

What was the right thing you did? If you did the right thing I as a parent would not have allowed the school to punish you nor would I have punished you or is this where the misunderstanding is.

In order to offer the right advice, which I think is what you want;.I need to know the full story. It can be brief and brief is best. Then I can decide if I should tell you to let sleeping dogs lie and let time heal the wound or suggest ways to approach your friend.

If it were just a simple misunderstanding of communication I would think you could communicate that to your friend without worry of stirring the pot again. Somehow I feel it is deeper than that. If you would like to tell me more about what happened you can do so in a private message. Private messages can only be seen by me and the webmaster.

Please be brief as brief is better. Then I can give you a good answer one I think will work for you, her and the adults involved.

what is the fastest way i can lose my virginity i am a male

It would help to know your age. If you are a young teenager the answer is slightly different than if you are a 40 year old virgin.

Today's definition of virginity is never having penis to vagina penetration. For a female this could also mean the loss of her Hymen if it is still intact. Also in a female first sexual penetration will most likely leave evidence, damage, to the vaginal walls after sexual contact.

For the male there is no Hymen to break and generally no evidence left behind to show that his penis has ever entered a vagina. In reality for the male all there is to losing ones virginity is having sexual contact with another person whether of the opposite or same sex.

One could say if you have received a blowjob or handjob from another you have already lost your virginity. If you want to stay true to the definition then you will need to find a willing female to have intercourse with.

Now if you are a young male, just entering puberty, which I believe you are. Having intercourse with someone is and should wait until you are much older for many reasons. The first and most important reasons are these. You are and most likely your partner are not mature enough to understand the consequences of the act. The girl even though she may have all the womanly curves of a female she is still developing her sexual organ. Sex for her at an early age will be at the very least painful if not impossible.

To answer your question: It all depends on your definition of virginity.

Hi, Im a 16 (almost 17) year old female with a maturity level that proceeds my age and I have a REAL big crush on this guy but he's 24. I know us girls mature much faster than males do so it's normal for me to have feelings for this man. We've been talking for quite a while now and not once has he said anything sexual to me or shown signs that he's interested in me sexually (which is a good thing because that's not what i want..yet.) BUT he has shown signs that he likes me more than just a friend. I'm considering getting into a relationship with him but I just need some opinions from others. ☺Thanks☺

There is a difference between friendships and relationships. There is nothing wrong with a 24 year old MAN having a friendship with a 16 year old GIRL. There is something very wrong with a 24 year old MAN HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH A 16 YEAR OLD GIRL.

I do not know this man or if your parents know him. I do not know how the two of you met. What I do know from friends I have in law enforcement that this is how sexual predators attract their victims. You say you are not interest in sex with him YET. That he has not said anything sexual to you YET. This is how they work earning your trust first.

Having sex with him is illegal until you reach the age of consent in your state; which could be 1 to 2 more years. It is the thrill of taking your virginity and sex with a minor that these people get of on. Once you get to old for them they dump you or worse.

I don't know if this man is a sexual predator or not. According to a friend of mine who investigates these types of crimes all the warning signs are there. You may be a very mature 16 year old. At the moment I believe you are infatuated by the fact that a 24 year old man is interested in you. The infatuation is overriding your maturity and good judgment.

Before you enter into any type of relationship with this man check him out. Check the Sexual Offenders list for you state. Talk with your parents about him. I could be wrong, though I do not think so, there is something not right here. It would be horrible to read that this man has harmed you in some manner. So be the mature, smart young lady you are and date within your own age group.

alright.. so my husband is not my 3 1/2 year old daughters biological father.. but, he has been in her life since I was 4 months pregnant.. and her bio dad and I split up when I was 2 months pregnant with her.. he called for the first week or two after I left.. but after that.. nothing.. I got 2 text messages saying "to see how the baby is doing" and "nevermind" when I was 5 months pregnant.. after that when I was 7 and a half months along he got put in jail/prison for stat rape!! I have not heard from him and he has NEVER seen her.. I haven't even spoke to his family since she was 3 months old.. anyways my dilemma is that I am fixing to be getting her birth certificate.. and when I had her I never wrote her bio dads name ANYWHERE when I had her.. no papers have EVER had his name on them.. just mine.. but what I need to know is if anyone knows if when I file for her birth certificate if I can change her last name to his and put his name on her birth certificate without trying to find which jail her bio dad is in to get papers signed? I am trying to avoid dealing with him.. my husband is her dad! he has supported her financially and emotionally since before I even had her! please help!! thanks in advance!!

You will need to have a legal opinion something we can not give you. I suggest you contact the legal aid society where you live as this is something they can help you with.

Through them they can find the biological father and present him with the proper papers to give up his parental rights. IF he doesn't give up his parental rights and is still in prison the prison will assign up to 2/3 of whatever amount he earns to you as child support. It won't be much but whatever it is would have been canteen funds for him. Facing however long he has left in prison without canteen funds may be just what he needs to give up his parental rights.

If he does then your husband can legally adopt your daughter. As far as who's name goes on the birth certificate the legal aid lawyer will advise you. All of this should be handled by legal aid and you should not have to deal face to face with the bio dad.

Okay I'm a female & I'm 14 turning 15 in a few months. Don't even start talking about my age cause I already know y'all are gonna be telling me I'm too young but I feel like I'm ready, so keep your hate to yourselves! My boyfriend is 17. We've been on and off a lot but lately things have been good. We both want to have sex. He's not a virgin but I am. We've done stuff before like fingering , hand jobs , blow jobs ( sorry to describe ) and whenever he does too deep with the fingering I usually bleed a bit. I feel like its because he's tearing my hymen a bit. Well we were going to have sex but I'm kind of scared to bleed a lot. He's gonna have a condom so I don't care if it goes on him but I don't wanna bleed a lot. Is there any way I won't have to bleed a lot? Also I'm embarrassed about my body. I have stretch marks in my thighs, sides, and my lower back kind of on my butt. He says he's gonna love me no matter what but some of those scars are from self harm. Also my inner thighs are a grayish blue color & I feel like he'd be disgusted. Any way to hide that? Or what might it be and is there treatment? Thanks.

First no matter what you say your not ready for sex and there are two reasons for this. The first and regardless of not wanting to hear this is you are too young and not mature enough for sex. Which leads to reason two. If you were mature enough for sex then you would not be embarrassed by showing your naked body to your lover.

You would know and your lover would be making love to you. Your body is just a vessel that allows him to make love to you. I'm sure you do not understand what I'm saying and it is hard to explain this.

I think I can explain it this way. When selling cars they sell the sizzle. They sell the looks, the comfort, the speed and accessories. What they don't tell you is what's under the hood, what it is going to take to keep that car on the road. What your saying is your body is lacking the sizzle you think you need to keep him interested as a lover and you would be correct if all he is lusting for you.

Boys and girls at your age have entirely different definitions of love. To most boys love is the same as lust. If they lust then they feel they are in love. If a guy says if you love me you will sleep with me. Then he doesn't love you he lusts for you.

A 17 year old boy should be dating a 16,17 or 18 year old girl, not a 14 or 15 year old girl. Boys that do date so for below their age do so because the find it easier to get them to have sex with them. This is because the girls dating maturity is not equal to his and she wants to please him to keep him.

I could be wrong but as a parent and a grandparent I have been around long enough to know I am probably right. In fact I was once a 17 year old boy myself so I think I just may know how a 17 year old boy might think.

I am a 15 year old girl and I am sexually active with my 17 year old boyfriend. I got my last period November 12. It lasted a week and after me and my boyfriend almost had sex. I decided not to because he didn't have a condom. But he did rub his penis on my vagina for a bit. I'm pretty sure his penis had pre cum on it. I read that you can still get pregnant even if you're a virgin (I'm a virgin btw) because you have a tiny hole in your hymen that allows your period to come out and sperm can also enter through there. I'm not sure if it's true, I just read it. From there I haven't had my period. I'm irregular and if I'm stressing it can be even more late. I'm not sure if I am pregnant or it's cause I'm stressing? Can I be pregnant? I'm way too scared to get a test or see a doctor but is it possible for me to be pregnant? Yes I know I'm young but I felt ready & I at least didn't do it all the way. Thanks!

The short answer to your question is; yes it is possible for the reasons you stated or you may not be pregnant and missed your period because you are stressed out. The only way to tell for sure is to see a doctor or home test.

At 15 years of age you are now old enough to be protected by a Federal Law known as HIPPA. Under a section of this law young people 14 years and older are granted total medical confidentiality and privacy when it comes to their reproductive Health.

What this means is you can go to a planned parenthood clinic, get tested and not have to ask your parents for permission. Under this law your parents will never have access to these medical records, cannot know the results of the test or what you were examined for.

Should you be pregnant, which I doubt you are but you need a test to be certain. Should you be pregnant and chose to abort the pregnancy your parents first would never know, if they did find out somehow that you were pregnant. They could not stop you from aborting the pregnancy or force you to abort the pregnancy. Under the law your reproductive rights and reproductive system is protected and totally confidential. Only with your expressed written permission can a doctor discuss anything about your reproductive health with your parents or anyone else.

You may choose any doctor you want to care for your reproductive system. Mom cannot force you to see her doctor or a doctor of her choosing. You do not need parental permission to see that doctor or can mother be in the room when you are having a female examination. She cannot be told the results of that examination without your permission and she cannot force you to have any type of female examination either.

All you have to do is inform your doctors that you are requesting your rights and confidentiality under HIPPA. The doctor and the doctors assistance will take it from there.

If your concern is mom finding out you've had a pregnancy test. There is no reason for that concern. IF you have a GYN you trust and want to see that doctor you can and you can make an appointment without parental knowledge or permission. IF you prefer for this visit to see a different doctor you can certainly do that also. I recommend going to a planned parenthood clinic as their fee schedule is inexpensive or free based on your ability to pay.

But the only way to find out if your pregnant is with a test.

By the way if you are not pregnant and going to be sexually active. You can under this law ask for birth control pill and the doctor will write the prescription. My advice though is you should wait awhile longer to have sex. Your not ready. Look how stressed you are now. How many times would you want to go through this type of anxiety.

OK well here goes i have been thinking. i know other peoples life are worse which by the way you never tell some one they will just kill them self for being weak trust me. So i am only 13 and i already hate my life actually it started a long time ago as late as 5th grade. Then a lot of shit happened and i bottle everything up i self harm and have thought of suicide my mom found out about the scratches on my arm and started acting like a bitch telling me i was a freak and she doesnt know Y I do it she didn't even ask. And others dont see it i am in sports i have some of the highest grades in my class i just have given up hope for any change and i see a future of nothing does it get better?? At all??

Let me start by saying I'm old enough to be your grandfather and it upsets me greatly that your mom called you a freak for the cutting you are doing. What mom does not realize is you are not a freak. That when young people cut there is a reason for it and one of them is cry for help. Another is that they are so stressed out that they need to feel something so they cut to feel something and relieve some of the stress they are under.

What scares me about cutting is, having spent my entire adult life in the fire service, is if a cutter cuts in the wrong place or to deep, they can actually bleed out before help arrives. That may not be their intention though unfortunately it happens and just as unfortunately I have seen it happen.

Cutting is also a sign of depression. Depression causes stress as well. You're depressed, which adds to your stress so you cut which adds to the depression and round and round it goes until you find a way to break the cycle. The depression you may be suffering is called clinical depression and is actually more a medical condition than a mental condition. Generally this is caused by the lack of one or two chemicals that secrete in the brain to stabilize moods.

Because this chemical is secreted into the brain the best doctor to prescribe for this is a board certified psychiatrist who is also a medical doctor. The psychiatrist generally prescribes medication to replace or add to the chemicals needed, actually they are hormones, and then sends you to a psychologist for talk therapy to get at the root cause of what is stressing you out causing the depression. Once the root cause is found the psychologist helps you find a better way to deal with it.

It has taken a long way to get to this point though I wanted you to understand where you are at. Given your age the clinical depression you may be suffering has another diagnoses called teenage depression. It is something that happens to many teenagers as part of puberty. At one time doctors felt it was a phase and kids would grow out of it. For the most part they were right. Today we know better and we or the doctors can make things easier for those afflicted with teenage depression.

If you cannot talk to mom and convince her you are not a freak but actually in need of medical intervention. Then please talk to a trusted teacher or your school principal about your cutting and how you feel. Everything you have written points to you possibly being afflicted with teenage depression, yes as young as the 5th grade for puberty can start that early.

I'm not a doctor so I cannot make that diagnoses. IF I am right there is no reason for you to suffer, not when the doctors can make you feel much better with a simple pill. So please talk to a teacher, your school principal, your father , Aunt or Uncle any trusted adult who can talk to your mom and set her straight.

I'm 14 f. My boyfriend is 17. We met 4 years ago. He moved in and we started dating. We've been on and off. I know it's not healthy. But last year in march he said he cheated on me and we broke up and 2 days later he got with some girl he knew I hated. They lasted 6 months and I tried to move on. I talked to so many guys and none of them could keep me from not being sad. It worked for a while but nothing, nobody could stop my heart break when I was alone or when It was night time. He was my first love. My first everything. In September we got back together but we only lasted 2 weeks then he left me again for the same girl I hate. I was furious. Him knowing what struggles I was going through and how I gave myself to him twice and he just does that I was like nah son. I promised I wouldn't get back with him but in November I had a message on Facebook from him. He was saying he was so unhappy and couldn't stop thinking about me and he was suicidal cause he lost the best thing in his life. I didn't feel sorry for him at all to be honest. That's nothing compared to what he put me through! But as my self the dumb self I am, ended up taking him back again. I know I'm young and there's plenty of fishies in the sea but he's my drug and I'm addicted. I love the feeling he gives me but he's ruining my life. I can't get unhooked though. I recently saw his ex (the girl I hate) posting statuses on Facebook saying they hung out and that he doesn'thave a gf, blah blah. I was so pissed cause he blocked her supposesably but he could of unblocked her or used his other account. I questioned him but he denied it. She said shed back off but I don't trust him or her. She's going to try to talk to him at school and I don't know what tO do. I still don't believe him, she's crazy and makes up lies but i don't know who to believe. I feel like hes the boy who cried werewolf. Lies lies lies then when it's true nobody believes him. What should I do?

I'm old enough to be your grandfather so I don't know how much my advice will mean to you though I will give it anyway.

Frankly this guy is not worth the agony you are putting yourself through. At a very young age as you said you gave yourself to him, twice. Not only was that wrong of you to do at what ever age you where but I can assure you from your description of him, it was just meaningless sex to him. If you will pardon the expression you provided a warm place for him to get off in.

You did not say what the circumstances where that you gave yourself to him where. Though I can guess it was something like him saying you will have sex with me if you love me. Sex is not a way to prove your love for someone. Any boy who uses that line on you is someone you need to run away from as fast as your legs will carry you for he does not love you he lusts for you.

The other problem is you are 14 he is 17, yes only 3 years difference in age but at this stage in your life that is a very wide gulf. He is more worldly than you are more experienced in dating and sex. You need to date boys your own age to learn how to fend of their lustful advance.

Nest is the fact he is soon to be 18 legally an adult and you will still legally be a minor. In the eyes of the law your relationship can land him in jail should anyone turn him in. If proven he has had sex with you after he has turned 18 he is committing rape for legally you cannot consent to sex until you reach the age of consent, which at 15 years of age you will not have obtained.

All in all when I boil everything down that you have written us I believe you would be far better off without him. I know it is easy to say especially if he is a first love. Please trust me when I say you will have many more loves in your life before you find the man you want to marry. Until then date people your own age for a while. When you're out of high school and 18 or older if you want to date older boys/men then that is up to you and there is no reason anyone should think bad of you if you do.

Hi there I am a 15 year old female and I was having my periods frequently at the end of each month for about a year but recently in November 2013 I developed a water infection which has now gone and since then .. I am a virgin so it cannot be sexually transmitted that is corsing it I would be very gratefull if anyone can give me advice before I go and see the doctor any advice will be very helpful thank you

I think seeing the doctor is a good idea if for no other reason than a follow up exam to see if the infection has truly been cleared up.

There are any number of reasons why a young girl misses her period. The fact that you had an infection makes me think yours was missed because of the antibiotics you took to clear the infection. Antibiotics are number two reason behind stress for as the major cause of missing a period. You should definitely discuss this with your doctor, preferably a GYN.

You can do so in total confidentiality just by saying you wish to invoke your rights under HIPPA. HIPPA is a Federal Law which as part of that law has a section covering young people 14 years and older for their reproductive health.

Since this problem covers your reproductive system the HIPPA law entitles you to meet with your doctor without mom present so that you can talk openly and truthfully without embarrassment to the doctor. Anything that is said or you are examined and treated for is totally confidential. No one not even your parents can be told without your written consent to the doctor.

Any problem or question you may have regarding your reproductive system or health under this law. You the right to see and speak with a doctor at any time without parental permission to ask those questions or seek medical help for those problems with out parental consent if needed.

What this law does is takes the embarrassment of having or not going to your mom if something is wrong or if you are too embarrassed to ask her about something in regard to your reproductive system. It also allows you to be totally open and honest with your doctor if something is wrong so that the doctor can properly treat you.

Even though this law allows you to ask for and be prescribed birth control medication. It was not the intent of Congress to provide a law that gives young people free license to have sex. This law is strictly to benefit the proper care for your reproductive system.

Hi
im 17 years of age and I smoke marijuana (on accasions e.g. Partys and christams) and my mom has notice my drug usage.. Im not a violent person when I smoke it and I dont do it often.. Anyway my mom said it can lead to the use of cocaine and stronger drugs like mcat but I dont think it does! Does it always lead to stronger drugs? Does it depend on you state of mind (crave stronger side effects)? Or do people start stronger drugs just because they have been offered some? Ive been smoking for a year and a half and I havnt got craves for stronger drugs?is my mom right or just concerned?

You have asked a very good question. Right now in most states Marijuana is an illegal substance. If caught with it you can be arrested. For that reason alone it should be a deterrent to smoking it. Then you have the people with the pros and cons of Marijuana usage.

Those that support the legalization say it is no more addictive or dangerous then alcohol. They say alcohol is more dangerous that weed and have scientific evidence to make their point with.

Those who do not support the legalization of Marijuana say it is very addictive and does lead to other types of drug usage. They too have scientific evidence to support their position.

Scientific evidence or research can sometimes be controlled just like some surveys that are taken can be controlled by asking a question in a particular way. Say you want to take a poll to see how many people support legalization or do not support legalization of Marijuana. The manner in which you ask the question can control the outcome of the survey.

To me some of the scientific evidence on either side is not so much science as it is accounting and statistics. When working with numbers they are easily manipulated to say what the statistician wants them to say. My father would have put it this way. "Figures don't lie, but liars can figure."

So what is the answer to your question? Like many other things my belief is that harder drug users just don't get up one morning and decide to go by some cocaine, heroin or whatever the drug of the day is. They probably started out with a softer drug. Very few people jump right from the frying pan and into the fire.

Just like these mass killers we have been seeing. They just didn't wake up one morning and decide to commit these horrendous acts. As we have found out they have come to the attention of law enforcement prior to then but somehow fell through the crack.

You have been using weed for a year and a half. Mom has just realized it. You are still a minor and mom if she decides can still take some form of corrective action to stop your using it for now at least. If she does maybe it will stick or maybe when you are of legal age and beyond her ability to correct you will start again.

My advice is it is an illegal substance just as alcohol is for you at this time. There are very good reasons why both are illegal. Until weed is legalized where you live my advice is to stop. Using it as at the very least like alcohol it does impede brain cell growth.

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