|
Love or leave?
I'm 14 f. My boyfriend is 17. We met 4 years ago. He moved in and we started dating. We've been on and off. I know it's not healthy. But last year in march he said he cheated on me and we broke up and 2 days later he got with some girl he knew I hated. They lasted 6 months and I tried to move on. I talked to so many guys and none of them could keep me from not being sad. It worked for a while but nothing, nobody could stop my heart break when I was alone or when It was night time. He was my first love. My first everything. In September we got back together but we only lasted 2 weeks then he left me again for the same girl I hate. I was furious. Him knowing what struggles I was going through and how I gave myself to him twice and he just does that I was like nah son. I promised I wouldn't get back with him but in November I had a message on Facebook from him. He was saying he was so unhappy and couldn't stop thinking about me and he was suicidal cause he lost the best thing in his life. I didn't feel sorry for him at all to be honest. That's nothing compared to what he put me through! But as my self the dumb self I am, ended up taking him back again. I know I'm young and there's plenty of fishies in the sea but he's my drug and I'm addicted. I love the feeling he gives me but he's ruining my life. I can't get unhooked though. I recently saw his ex (the girl I hate) posting statuses on Facebook saying they hung out and that he doesn'thave a gf, blah blah. I was so pissed cause he blocked her supposesably but he could of unblocked her or used his other account. I questioned him but he denied it. She said shed back off but I don't trust him or her. She's going to try to talk to him at school and I don't know what tO do. I still don't believe him, she's crazy and makes up lies but i don't know who to believe. I feel like hes the boy who cried werewolf. Lies lies lies then when it's true nobody believes him. What should I do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
You should leave. Walking back into a love like this is just like reading a book over and over again when you already know how it ends.
]
You leave him. You already know the answer but I'm guessing you just want someone to tell you.
You've been on and off in an unhealthy relationship.
He cheated and lied.
Then he leaves you again.
You say that he ruins your life.
You're clearly unhappy in this relationship. So leave.
Relationships don't work without trust. You don't trust him, so this relationship will just never work out anyways. Might as well leave him now than waste more time breaking your heart.
First loves are hard to get over. You just need to end it completely. Block him, delete his number, ect. Get him out of your system. Go out with friends, enjoy your life, start doing new things and make a better you. He'll be jealous and you'll be happy. You don't need him.
]
Move on
He is completely wasting your time. The reason he is sending you this message stating he is unhappy is because he KNOWS you will take him back and he uses it too his advantage. The guy left you not once but twice, He cheated. Generally a golden rule in any relationship is never to take back a cheater no matter how bad you want too. Basically, He wasn't happy in the relationship with you, Didn't respect you or love you and went ahead and did something he KNEW was wrong. As long as you let yourself be taken advantage of, The longer he will continue to use you as a rebound. You are not a doormat, If he is your drug then you need to get yourself into some rehab (not literally) but move on. Cut him loose and realize that the guy is nothing but full of shit. As long as you allow yourself to be a fall back, You will never move on from it.
]
I'm old enough to be your grandfather so I don't know how much my advice will mean to you though I will give it anyway.
Frankly this guy is not worth the agony you are putting yourself through. At a very young age as you said you gave yourself to him, twice. Not only was that wrong of you to do at what ever age you where but I can assure you from your description of him, it was just meaningless sex to him. If you will pardon the expression you provided a warm place for him to get off in.
You did not say what the circumstances where that you gave yourself to him where. Though I can guess it was something like him saying you will have sex with me if you love me. Sex is not a way to prove your love for someone. Any boy who uses that line on you is someone you need to run away from as fast as your legs will carry you for he does not love you he lusts for you.
The other problem is you are 14 he is 17, yes only 3 years difference in age but at this stage in your life that is a very wide gulf. He is more worldly than you are more experienced in dating and sex. You need to date boys your own age to learn how to fend of their lustful advance.
Nest is the fact he is soon to be 18 legally an adult and you will still legally be a minor. In the eyes of the law your relationship can land him in jail should anyone turn him in. If proven he has had sex with you after he has turned 18 he is committing rape for legally you cannot consent to sex until you reach the age of consent, which at 15 years of age you will not have obtained.
All in all when I boil everything down that you have written us I believe you would be far better off without him. I know it is easy to say especially if he is a first love. Please trust me when I say you will have many more loves in your life before you find the man you want to marry. Until then date people your own age for a while. When you're out of high school and 18 or older if you want to date older boys/men then that is up to you and there is no reason anyone should think bad of you if you do.
]
More Questions: |