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I am afraid to talk to a past friend because of a misunderstanding...
So I am afraid to talk to a past friend cause of a misunderstanding of communication and who I am My past friend overreacted and was confused the the school, parents, and unwanted people were involved an punished me for doing the right thing Im extremely afraid the school getting involved causing more Bullshit again or her parents judging me before they even get to know me again do you think I should at least try to prove myself to them both and talk to her?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Adviceman49 is right, without knowing a little more it is hard for us to know what to tell you. This actually sounds quite complicated. I did note in the first sentence that its not just a misunderstanding of what was said but you stated "and who I am". If who you are, your personality, your tastes, your beliefs and what you stand for is also what is being misunderstood...welcome to the world. Many today find that others react usually in fear when coming up against something different than themselves, kids and adults alike. Thats why we see discrimination for the color of peoples skin, their religious beliefs or lack of beliefs, sex discrimination, sexual preferance, body type, etc....
If this was a case of just a misunderstanding due to the particular wordage used to state something or explain something, that is very common in young people who make too many assumptions simply because they still lack social skills. I do not believe that simple misunderstanding between friends becomes an issue with the school parents and others, perhaps even to the point of the media. With all the students in a school who misunderstand or miscommunicate and get upset with their buddies on a daily basis, teachers and other staff would be interfering with each social squabble and focusing all their energy all day long on trying to smooth ruffled feathers and have no time to teach. I highly doubt teachers and others would have gotten involved in what is not their business unless false accusations (on a topic of critical nature) were made about you by this friend who did so out of anger or fear, revenge or whatever reason. And if there were such accusations, this is one of the missing links in your story. I dont know how well this person knew you or for how long. I have found that superficial friends are the ones who dont know me well enough to be able to look past the words spoken and still know my actual intent. They are the ones to make terrible assumptions. Experienced that in church long ago. Terrible things were said about me by one person to the pastor and anyone else who would listen. This was an adult who didn't really know me as well as she thought, she was not a friend. Only with people who are really true friends do I never find reason to worry about misunderstandings. So for you, classmates or acquaintences that you speak with and see on some regular basis like I did with the woman in church, can't necessarily be considered a true friend. If you feel you can't share any more details, but this whole event has blown over and for the most part has been forgotten, then it may be best to not stir things up by trying to resume some kind of friendship/relationship. You do not have to say anything to defend or explain yourself after things have calmed down. If this person is special enough to you that you want to resume hanging with them, give her a call and share the latest funniest story or something other than the topic of the past fiasco. Dont refer to it, don't expect an apology because some people are not mature enough to do so but may be over their confusion and anger and want to be with you again but dont know how. I had to do the same with a younger sister, again we were adults at the time. I let a couple months go by to let her cool off, and she never called. One day I felt prompted by my inner voice to let her know the latest funny thing my toddler had done. I called and told her. She laughed and began talking. I never brought up the topic, she never asked for forgiveness. If you do attempt to talk again and this friend brings up the misunderstanding again, not to apologize because just rehash and relive it again, find an excuse to end the call, something boiling over on the stove...and never contact this person again.
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I understand that there are times when a misunderstanding can get out of hand. From what you have written it sounds like this is one of those times. Given that the school and parents were somehow involved in whatever happened I am hesitant to offer advice without knowing the full story. Especially since it seem you were punished for this and not your friend or at least you did not say so.
What was the right thing you did? If you did the right thing I as a parent would not have allowed the school to punish you nor would I have punished you or is this where the misunderstanding is.
In order to offer the right advice, which I think is what you want;.I need to know the full story. It can be brief and brief is best. Then I can decide if I should tell you to let sleeping dogs lie and let time heal the wound or suggest ways to approach your friend.
If it were just a simple misunderstanding of communication I would think you could communicate that to your friend without worry of stirring the pot again. Somehow I feel it is deeper than that. If you would like to tell me more about what happened you can do so in a private message. Private messages can only be seen by me and the webmaster.
Please be brief as brief is better. Then I can give you a good answer one I think will work for you, her and the adults involved.
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It's alright, don't panic. You if it was really just a misunderstanding, this used to be friend will get that if you explain it calmly and rationally. Be the better person, and don't keep petty disagreements in mind all the time.
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