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Insecurities.
Okay I'm a female & I'm 14 turning 15 in a few months. Don't even start talking about my age cause I already know y'all are gonna be telling me I'm too young but I feel like I'm ready, so keep your hate to yourselves! My boyfriend is 17. We've been on and off a lot but lately things have been good. We both want to have sex. He's not a virgin but I am. We've done stuff before like fingering , hand jobs , blow jobs ( sorry to describe ) and whenever he does too deep with the fingering I usually bleed a bit. I feel like its because he's tearing my hymen a bit. Well we were going to have sex but I'm kind of scared to bleed a lot. He's gonna have a condom so I don't care if it goes on him but I don't wanna bleed a lot. Is there any way I won't have to bleed a lot? Also I'm embarrassed about my body. I have stretch marks in my thighs, sides, and my lower back kind of on my butt. He says he's gonna love me no matter what but some of those scars are from self harm. Also my inner thighs are a grayish blue color & I feel like he'd be disgusted. Any way to hide that? Or what might it be and is there treatment? Thanks.
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im your age... I have the same problems, stretch marks, self harm scars, and embarrassment... me and my boyfriend want to have sex too but im holding back because of the same reason... but to be honost im ready, you just have to get over the embarrassment and do it... I think that's what is going to change your mind... and if afterwards he leaves then just realize that hes not right for you... if he does leave though youll have regret! and there is no treatment for the coloring on our legs im pretty sure it will end up going away as we age.... if you have any more questions feel free to ask me.... and I forgot if you want to cover up the coloring, stretch marks, or scars I use BB cream it works for a little but u have to reapply.... feel free to ask me anything thanks hope I helped!
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I completely agree with adviceman. I won't go on about your age...except for the fact that it's actually illegal for you to have sex.
Besides that, you're insecure and embarrassed about your body. He'll probably love your body but you're clearly not ready if you're embarrassed to show him your body. You don't feel comfortable with him yet or with yourself yet to be able to enjoy and feel comfortable having sex.
If he's tearing your hymen when you guys are sexually active, he's doing something wrong. You aren't really supposed to bleed or tear. The hymen stretches so if you're bleeding, he's either too rough or you guys aren't using enough lubricant.
Also, I don't think you'd enjoy sex very much right now. Since you're only 14, it'll hurt like crazy since your body is still developing and growing.
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First no matter what you say your not ready for sex and there are two reasons for this. The first and regardless of not wanting to hear this is you are too young and not mature enough for sex. Which leads to reason two. If you were mature enough for sex then you would not be embarrassed by showing your naked body to your lover.
You would know and your lover would be making love to you. Your body is just a vessel that allows him to make love to you. I'm sure you do not understand what I'm saying and it is hard to explain this.
I think I can explain it this way. When selling cars they sell the sizzle. They sell the looks, the comfort, the speed and accessories. What they don't tell you is what's under the hood, what it is going to take to keep that car on the road. What your saying is your body is lacking the sizzle you think you need to keep him interested as a lover and you would be correct if all he is lusting for you.
Boys and girls at your age have entirely different definitions of love. To most boys love is the same as lust. If they lust then they feel they are in love. If a guy says if you love me you will sleep with me. Then he doesn't love you he lusts for you.
A 17 year old boy should be dating a 16,17 or 18 year old girl, not a 14 or 15 year old girl. Boys that do date so for below their age do so because the find it easier to get them to have sex with them. This is because the girls dating maturity is not equal to his and she wants to please him to keep him.
I could be wrong but as a parent and a grandparent I have been around long enough to know I am probably right. In fact I was once a 17 year old boy myself so I think I just may know how a 17 year old boy might think.
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