about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

I have a question about a guy who I'm friends with. He had invited me and some other friends of his to celebrate his wifes birtday at a local restaurant.
Well I was the 3rd person to arrive and from the minute I sat down next to him and his wife he gave me attitude. He asked me a question and I thought he said "where's the gang", I aswered that they hadnt arrived yet. Then he YELLED at me and said "I SAID WHERES THE GIG"!
When everyone else had arrived (there was about 20 people) his wife started opening her gifts. When she opened my gift someone asked where the card was. I didnt get her a card, just a gift and he (her husband) snapped "there IS no card".
Well after this abusive behavior and no one defending me I went to the bathroom. When I walked out he came up to me. I told him I was leaving because I felt uncomfortable. He asked me if I would be going to another function with him and his wife the next day and I told him no I was going to my parents. Well then he did something that I thought was almost a little voilent. He stuck his face REALLY close to mine (like we could have almost kissed ) and said in a loud, mean, voice 'IM SO SORRY".
This really freaked me out. My question is why do you think he would treat me this way? And does that mean he might be a violent person? Also do I have a right to think he was being an asshole?

I'm sorry you had to go through this. I also feel sorry for his wife to be embarassed like this on her birthday. I think you have every right to think that he's an asshole. The thought inconsiderate jerk comes to mind as well. Is this guy normally like this?


As far as violence, it's always a possibility. At the very least, he was emotionally and verbally abusive to you. I would consider dropping him as a friend unless he apologizes. Maybe there's a good reason here somewhere. Was he drunk?

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I have a question that I really can't ask anyone else about because it is too humiliating. Well at the college I go to there is a weekly campus newspaper. I was reading the classified section the other day and under personals it had my name (just my first name), and then is said (my name), STAY AWAY!! I thought it was just a one time thing but then the next week it had my name under the personals again and this time is said (my name)," masturbation is fun."
This guy that had been really mean to me even brought it up, and asked me if I had been reading the paper. I can't prove that it was him doing this, but isnt this a form of harassmant, or slander? Could I sue the college over this? This guy that has been mean to me is a reporter for the paper.
What are my rights? They are only using my first name so they could always say they were talking about someone else, but I know it's about me.

I would contact the advisor of the college newspaper and explain what's going on. I'm not sure it's necessarily slander because it's using only your first name, but I would definitely consider it harassment. If it continues after you speak to the advisor, find out who the department head is or try speaking to the Dean of Student Affairs. Good luck.

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I have a question, and I know it's gonna sound stupid, but you know how when you were little and got all excited about Christmas? You'd count down the days and get up early to open presents, and you just had that special feeling that you only get around Christmas? Well, I don't get that anymore, and I haven't for a while. Why is that? Is it just cause I'm older and more mature? I still love Christmas, but I don't get that special feeling anymore. It's like Christmas is gone or something, and I just feel so weird. I want that feeling again. Can anyone help? I know, dumb question, but I needed to ask. Thanks.

Have you tried doing things that remind you of earlier Christmases? Watch a cheesy Christmas movie, help decorate the tree, bake some cookies, or read "Twas The Night Before Christmas". Personally, I never get the Christmas spirit until I've decorated the house for Christmas and baked a bunch of cookies.

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im tryin to upload a photo onto myspace. but it wont take it because its BPM and they only take GIF or JPG. do any of you guys know how to change it? or if i can change it? i just downloaded IrfanView its a photo editor thingy. if you guys know how to change it on there that would be great!
i rate 5s!!
i need an answer quick too!
thank you!

When you bring the photo into an editing program, you should be able to do a "save as" and save it as a different format. Generally you can click "file" then "save as" to open the screen. Underneath the box for the file name, you should have a little pull-down screen. Save it as jpg or gif and it should work.

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Hey Guys. This Question Isn't Gonna Be Long, But I Really want a boyfriend. I havent like went out with anyone in like 4 years. Yea I know..Loner. But No one (guys) likes me. I'm Ugly, Fat. You Name it. Everything About me is messed up. Whats wrong with me Guys?

From what you've said, it sounds like you don't have a lot of self-confidence. I would work on building your confidence and self-esteem before getting into a relationship. Otherwise, it could lead to problems in the relationship down the road. What do you like about yourself? Make a list of all the good qualities about yourself. You may find that you have more going for yourself than you originally thought.


You may not have met the right guy yet. The guy for you will see you as beautiful and want to be with you no matter how you think you look. Not all guys agree with the average perception of beatiful. My husband said what attracted him to me when we met was the fact that I had curves and I loved to laugh.


Don't give up hope. You do have a Mr. Right out there somewhere waiting for you.

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ok well i was ta this party and i got really drunk and was with this guy who i made out with but then i got in a car with him to pick up his friend...but the thing is i dont remeber the car ride only gettin out to let his friend in the back seat...then gettin out again wen we got back to my friends house and i was wiping mu puke off his car...so com'on u can tell i was pretty fucked up! now the thing is their is a rumor goin around that we fuced wen we were in his car!! n im kinda nervouse becuase i havent got my period this month!! do u think we might of actually had sex?? if soo what should i do??

I'd say there is a possibility that something happened that you don't remember. You need to talk to a trusted adult about what happened. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, go to your local health department or planned parenthood office and tell them you need to be checked for pregnancy and STDs. They can offer free and low-cost testing and treatment if needed. It's also completely confidential.


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has anybody been on or know people that take roaccutane (Isotretinoin) for their acne? I've been on it now for about a month and I'd like to know if anybody else experienced headaches as side affects? x x x

According to the product guide I found online, headaches are a common side effect of using this product. It says if the side effect continues or is bothersome to speak with your doctor. I'm including the link so you can read for yourself.
http://rxlist.com/cgi/pharmclips2.cgi?keyword=%20Isotretinoin

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well ive been a veggietarian(spelled wrong i no) for almost 2 years now and i realized that since i stopped eating meat, all i have been eating is junk food and i want to start eating healthier. does anybody know any sites that have recipes for veggitarians? or does anyone know what i can eat to replace meat? please be detailed
xoxo

I'm not sure exactly what type of vegetarian you are, but I'll try to help. Do you eat eggs or cheese? If so, these are great sources of protein to replace meat. Other sources of protein are soy products (soy burgers, tofu, even soy icecream which is great by the way), nuts, peas, whole grain bread, and corn. To keep your iron up, try dried beans, leafy green vegetables, and dried fruit.


I'm including some links to vegetarian recipes for you to try. The fourth link even offers recipes sent to your email.
http://www.vrg.org/journal/index.htm#Recipes
http://vegweb.com/recipes/
http://www.fortunecity.com/meltingpot/nicaragua/1105/vegetarian.html
http://www.abbeysvegetarianrecipes.com/
http://www.geocities.com/RainForest/Vines/4482/recipes.html
http://www.toptastes.com/recipes/entreesvege.htm
http://www.vegcooking.com/

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I was really upset about something a guy friend (or so I thought) did to me.
Well I have a mental illness (schizophrenia) and am on a small disablility pension. I don't just sit around on my ass, I volunteer at the food bank and other places to keep me busy.
Well I went to visit my friend at his work one day. And all of a sudden, for no reason at all he starts saying the meanest things to me, like that I was living off the system and wasnt going to better my life. When I started crying and said he was being judgemental he said "you needed to hear this", in the meanest voice.
I havent been back to see him and he hasnt phoned to apologize. I even heard that he has been talking to his friends about me spazzing out.
Why he is being so mean? Do I have a right to be upset or am I overeacting? And should I even give him a second chance?

I think you have a right to be upset. His words were unkind and uncalled for. The fact that he not only said it to you, but is talking about you is wrong in my opinion. No one knows what it is to live with a condition such as yours until they have experienced it themself.


Personally, I wouldn't give him a second chance unless he apologized and I'd be wary of it even then. A true friend wouldn't tell you something because "you needed to hear this" unless they knew all the facts and even then, they should do it in a friendly manner, not trashing you the way this guy has.

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I have been given a birth date for my baby of 27 june 2006...Unfortunately I am not sure who the father might be,.....I know I had sex on 30th September 2005 and although we used condoms, on the second occasion it slipped off and remained inside my vagina for a while....my cycle has been about 26 days and I am aged 47...is it at all possible this baby was concieved on the 30 Sept 2005..? I am not really that sure of the first day of my last period..... thank you

Has the ob/gyn told you how far along you are (how many weeks)? If so, you might be able to count back the weeks to get a general idea of the date of conception. Just be aware that due dates are estimates. No one really knows when a baby will come until it decides to come into the world.


The best way to determine when conception was is to ask your ob/gyn. If there's question as to who is the father, they can arrange for a DNA test.

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Anyone know how long I can take Ibuprofen for continuously? Same for CoCodamol (Paracetamol - Codeine combo)? One week? More? Less?

I would talk to your doctor. If you're having to take something for pain continuously, they need to know so they can determine what is causing the pain. Generally, unless something is prescribed by your doctor to be taken continuously, you should only take it as needed.

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Ok My mom is 48 and she had a Biopsiy (how ever you spell it) about 2 days ago. She has been Bleeding alot and its not time for her period and she has been having a fever and VERY BAD Cramps!!!!!! What Can I do??!!?!?!?! The roads are sorta icey. but Whats Going On? I'm Scared!!!

Ask your mom if the doctor gave her any information for after the procedure. Most doctors do and it will explain possible side effects from the procedure. If in doubt, call the doctor's office and explain to them what's going on. They can determine if it's normal and let you know what to do.

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I haven't started my period, but wanna ask 2 questions for when it comes:

1) Do you bleed all the time or is it like discharge, and comes out everyonce and a while.

2) It says you supposed to stay very clean when you have it. Itake baths cause my shower doesn't work. When I take a bath would thewater get all blooding during my period.

If you have any other info about it;;please tell me =) I'll ate 5 for good answers

Bleeding varies by woman. Some women have very light flows while others have heavy. Generally on the first day and the last day, it tends to be light bleeding with heavier bleeding on the between days. There's no real way to determine what type of flow you'll have until it comes.


I usually take a bath while on my period since it helps relax me and eases cramps. I've never had a problem with blood in the water.

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i wanna have the latest computer in my room, but i still confuse to choose between branded PC or a PC that i assemble by myself according to my own specification! please guys give me some advice!

If you know how to assemble a PC yourself, it's best to do it yourself. It tends to come out cheaper and that way you get exactly what you want without paying for the extras included in a branded PC. Earlier this year, my husband offered to either buy or build me a computer. I opted to let him build me one with what I wanted. It came out several hundred dollars cheaper than what I could find through the branded PCs and has everything I want.

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i'm married to a wonderful man who likes to bear upon himself the burden of others. he sees it as a responsibility to help people who are financially in need. in fact, others are on top of his priority list. i'm not unhappy about this but what makes me unhappy is that people believe i'm equally wealthy and also approach me for assistance and most times i find it difficult to meet up to expectation. what do i do?

Since it appears that your husband deals with the finances, I would simply refer them to your husband. That way you're not turning them down but pointing them in the right direction.

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Recently I got my haircoloured (5 days ago) I opted for permanent dye. I got it coloured black btw. However, everytime I wash my hair the colour comes out. I wash my hair each day, and don't think this can be right. Should the colour be coming out 5 days after I got it done? Am I doing something wrong? Should I head back to the salon?

Thanks.

How soon after coloring your hair did you wait before washing it? It's generally recommended that you wait a couple days before washing after you have it colored to allow the color to set. If you did wait a few days and the color is still coming out, I would recommend going back to the salon and speaking to whoever did it.

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Would you take offense if your gf/bf said that although they find you attractive, they would never want to see a "Picture" of you, or see you in your underwear? I'm sure you can guess of what nature.

My gf said this to me and I felt offended. I don't really know why. I guess it's no big deal, really. We were only kidding around and she said that. I'm pretty insecure about my looks, which doesn't help I suppose. So would you take offense, or am I making a big deal?

I wouldn't take it personally. Some people just don't feel comfortable with pictures of that nature. That may have been what your girlfriend meant.


Since the comment did bother you, you could talk to your girlfriend and ask what she meant for your peace of mind. Since she said she finds you attractive and is with you, I'm inclined to believe that she was joking or meant that she didn't feel comfortable with that kind of picture.

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I am married, and want to know that during pregnancy when we stop sex, or during pregnancy when it is not safe to intercourse.

I also want to know that in 12th week of pregnancy is intercourse is suitable?

Please give more details about intercourse during pregnancy.

asif_jah@hotmail.com

Congratulations on your pregnancy!


I would ask your ob/gyn just to be on the safe side. I'm almost 15 weeks along myself. I asked my ob/gyn this question at one of my earlier appointments and this is what she said.


Unless the ob/gyn recommends against it, you can safely have intercourse. You do have to make a few changes to protect the baby and account for your changing body. Generally any chest to chest positions are out since they put pressure on your abdomen. Positions where the woman is on top is okay as long as you're extremely careful not to lose your balance and fall. She recommended the spooning position (on your side with his chest against your back). She also recommended gentler lovemaking.

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Hi, I would REALLY apprecaite some advice :) OK, my partner (male 32) is driving me (female 26) up the wall! We have a 6 month old baby. My parner works, I am at home alone with the baby all day. He has this really annoying habit where he get's home, sits on his lap top and then only goes to bed at about 5am! His alarm goes off at least 6 times before he gets up for work (obviously making him late!) and then he has to stay at work late to make up the time. By the the time he gets home from work, I am so wound up that we argue! I have tried to comprimise by designating "laptop evenings" but when we do this, it lasts for a few days and then we are back at square one. The worst of it is, that he he has difficulty with "demands". He sees everything as a demand and then feels that he must rebel! This makes him worse. Please can you give me some practical advice to get him to sleep earleir and to wake up on time for work. We are due to get married in Jan and I feel that this is a real reason for me to call it all off :( Thanks :)

I would definitely try to resolve this issue before you get married. If you don't do it now, I think the situation will continue and you'll eventually come to resent it. Wanting companionship from your partner after being apart all day is not demanding.


What does he do on that laptop until 5 am? I would be wary of someone who would rather be on the computer than spending time with his family. We all need a little time to unwind after work, but staying up until 5 am is carrying it a bit far in my opinion.


Have you tried arranging for child care for a couple hours one evening and setting up a romantic evening for two? Perhaps if he realizes what he's missing, he'll be more inclined to put the laptop down.


Have you tried marriage counseling? I know this isn't an option for everyone, but it can help in some situations.


Since you say you've tried to compromise, I assume you've probably already had a talk with him about this. Sit down with him and tell him your concerns calmly. Remind him gently that you and your child would like to spend time with him. Then, sit back and listen to what he has to say.


If he continues in this, I would seriously consider calling the wedding off until there's a change. Just be prepared that there may not be a change. He has to make the decision to change for it to work.


Good luck. I hope this works out for you.

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hello i m jordyn and a 17 yaar old female.
my boyfriend of 1 year is ready for sex
k here is the dumb question of the day...
is my vigina to hairy how do i tell?
can i just shave it off?
if so hows the best way to do so?
when standing the part that is showing is covered in black hair and i m a blonde.is there a speical part that needs to be shaved
plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!! i beg of u i really need your help here!!!!!!!!!!! :^( whine

First off, I noticed you only said that your boyfriend is ready for sex. Are you ready as well? If you're both ready and do decide to take that step, please make sure to protect yourself against STDs and pregnancy.


As to your questions, shaving is a matter of personal preference. What one person finds attractive, another may not. How much or how little you shave is your choice. Just do whatever you feel comfortable with. Only you know if there's too much hair. You can shave it all, but be very careful if you decide to do so. The area is very sensitive and easily nicked (which can be quite painful).


One thing you may want to consider before deciding to shave. This is a highly sensitive area and often ends up irritated from shaving. Also, if you decide not to maintain the shave, it can itch terribly when it grows back in. If you do decide to maintain the shave, it can sometimes be time-consuming as you must shave often to keep from getting itchy.


If you do decide to shave, the first thing I recommend is soaking in a warm bath beforehand. It will help soften the hairs and plump the skin so you get a closer shave. After bathing, lather the area with a moisturizing shave cream. Get a good quality razor. I don't recommend cheapy razors as they generally don't cut good which means you have to go over the area several times. Shave in the direction of hair growth, being careful to not go over the same area more than once or twice to avoid irritation. When finished, rinse well then pat dry with a soft towel. You can finish with a moisturizing lotion.

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