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I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.
I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.
advice
hello im the girl that asked about boyfriend not asking a girl to stay away but still not replying to her messages etc...
so ive explained to him why this is so important to me and why i considered it a big deal that i would do that for him and why doesnt he wanna do it for me and basically told him like ok if you donnt wanna ask her to stop this and you're not gonna do anything about it then i wouldnt do the same for you, and i then said like its cool don't do it but i cant be in a relationship like this etc....SO anyway he finally said ok im sorry i will talk to her tomorrow...but now im freaking out hahaha do i prefer him to say like hey please stop messaging me ive got back with my girlfirend etc ...or would it be better for him to just keep doing what he did which is ignoring her????
in a way i dont want him to explain to her and ask her to stop trying to contact him cause i dont want her to talk back to him or him feeling bad for maybe hurting her and think it wasnt a good idea to do this for me or something
but in a way i do want him to ask her to stop cause its been 2 months and she's still trying to add him call and text :S not as often as she used to but she is still trying :S
please give me some advice in it what would be better? to maybe just wait til she gives up....or to have him asking her to stop trying ?
thanks alot !
Hello and thanks for the Question
I'm sorry to hear that your boyfriend possibly has a guilty conscience but he is the one who decided to see her when you two broke up. Therefore, Your boyfriend must face the consequences and that is to tell her to stop calling. 2 months is along time but you know what after so long it becomes harassment. Your boyfriend needs to talk to her, If he doesn't know what to say then I'll here are a few examples he could use...
1. (Please stop harassing me, I have a girlfriend and I do not wish to have any contact with you)]
That is a nice and direct way of saying it, However bare in mind that someone who is persistent sometimes needs a more direct and stern way to be told to back off.
2. ( Stop calling me, I want nothing to do with you and harassing me is not going to get you anywhere)
A few years back I had a incident with someone harassing me through text messages, I text them back and told them they were now blocked! and continued to ignore there text messages, Although I didn't REALLY block them because I had a prepaid cell phone but overtime ignoring the text messages apparently she was convinced she was blocked and gave up.
The best thing for YOU, Is to wait until tomorrow to see if your boyfriend confronts the situation. If he does, Then that is the first step. If he doesn't then he probably doesn't care that much to get rid of her. Depending on the person ignoring them is not always going to work sometimes it takes to confront them. Your boyfriend is better off blocking her on facebook, Even if he doesn't use it because again, That is one less way of her attempting to get a hold of him. It also wouldn't hurt for you to also block her so she doesn't try and harass you. If you interfere with the situation you are going to cause stress between you and your boyfriend.
ok so me and my crush michael have been nonstop flirting with each other since last year (11th grade) and i always though he would ask me to prom. then he asked this other girl in my grade paula. i was a bit upset but i got over it. then they decided they didnt want to go with each other anymore...believe me, i wasnt too sad about that. then i thought he would ask me but a month went by and nothing happened. so when this pretty nerdy kid in my grade, moe, asked me to prom i figured no one else would ever ask me so i said yes. then michael asked this girl rebecca who only said yes to him because i told her i like him and shes a home wrecker. ok so now i spoke to michael and he said he was going to ask me and he wants to go with me now but moe is so excited to go to prom with me and i dont want to to hurt him but i really want to go with michael! what should i do??
Go with Moe, He was kind enough to ask you. The worst thing you can do is kill a man's pride and then blow him off. Micheal had plenty of time to ask you to the prom and he didn't. Who cares if the kid is nerdy, It isn't all about looks. If you want you can ask Michael to dance when you get to the prom but don't blow off Moe either that would be the wrong thing to do.
i'm 21, my bf is 23, the other girl is 21.
me and my bf have been together for almost a year. about 3 months ago we split up for like a week. he confessed during this time he met a girl (i asked who was this person trying to contatnly call and texting him ) and he said they went out on a date during that time and he kissed her but he realised he really cared about me and thats why he came back to me
he first said he already deleted her and eventho he first lied about her he came clean about her, i discovered he didnt deleted her when he said, but i know they havent talked cause she sends msgs like i dont know why you stopped talking to me etc , she's been trying to contact him ever since ! sending him messages asking to be added on facbeook again which he didnt accept but also didnt declined, trying to call him , texting him , etc....
so i started thinking...if i were him i would ask the other person to stop trying to contact me cause its making my bf uncomfortable
i asked him to ask her he said ' talking to her even to ask her that would be to take a step back ' cause he has completley ignored her yea he didnt wanted to delete her so i thought maybe he just doesnt wanna hurt her hence why he kept her added but ..the fact he lied about doing it hurted me ...
my point is ...should i be really this upset? cause i feel like he chose to protect her feelings than protecting mine :S...he hasnt spoke to her and i know but still i told him either you ask her to stop or we're over. he didnt even cared he just said ' just know that i chose you not her ' but still i feel he chose her by protecting her, i wasn't even meaning of him to be mean just say something like please stop trying to contact me etc or whatever but being nice about it ..so i have some questions and would like an opinion
1- should i be this upset at him for prefering that i break up with him than dealing with this girl he says he doesnt even want?
2- should i forget about it get back with him and ask the girl nicely to stop?
3- should i forget about it go back to him when this still bothers me alot (to be honest this isnt even a real option)
i wanna know what would someone else do, i mean in the end yea he chose me but it also hurts alot that he lied about it, and after comming clean about it he refuses to do something that will help me get us past this whole issue since i still can't let it go.
im sorry its long
Don't interfere with it, This is your boyfriends problem. Your boyfriend needs to grow some balls and tell her sternly to stop calling. If he really wants her to stop, He'd find a way to get her to stop.
Now to the pointers
1. Why hasn't he removed her from his phone? It isn't going to benefit him in any shape or form to have her sitting in his contacts. Unless he is hiding something from you.
2. There is a block list on facebook, Why hasn't he blocked her? If it bothers him so much you would think he would at least block all contact.
3. You split for a week and already he is chasing down other woman? Sounds like maybe he had someone for a backup. Are you sure he is telling you the entire truth? Sure doesn't like it.
You have every right to be upset, Your boyfriend went behind your back and lied about it. A week is not a long time and whether you both decided to go your separate ways, I call it a break and I think there is more to your story then what your boyfriend has told you. If you tell her yourself not to contact him, You are only pissing her off and feeding into the problem. Talk to your boyfriend, Let him know how you feel about the situation if he still doesn't do anything about it then move on.
EDIT: If your boyfriend doesn't want to remove her from the contacts due to not knowing who would be calling. Has he tried to contact the cell phone company? I believe he can block her for a small fee of 10 dollars depending on what server you are using. If he is under contract his phone should come with a block as well. Facebook privacy options can be found on the top right hand corner (Account-Account Privacy) Good luck!
Ok so a few hours ago my mom took away my mascara and told me that I wear too much... I don't so I told her to quit running my life and I ran upto my room, then my mom yelled at me to come downstairs so I did and she slapped me across the face and told me to never talk to her like that again..... I just went back upstairs and grabbed my razor and held it up to my wrist, I almost killed myself.... but I put the razor away and cried myself to sleep...What should I do to get my life back without my mom hurting me phisically?? Btw, I'm 13 this year
Your mother is not trying to ruin your life, She is laying down the rules and disciplining you as it is her job as a mother to keep her child in line. You threatening to take your life over the fact that she took away your makeup is very immature and selfish of you. There is a hell of a lot more to worry about in a lifetime then your mother saying you cannot wear makeup. Face reality, Her house her rules.
so ive been dating this guy for about two weeks now but weve been talking for a month or two before we got together. I dont trust him at all and i dont know if im just paranoid or i should follow my gut.he wont check his phone when im around even when someone is blowing it up. and sometimes it will take him a few hours to text me back. the other day i looked at his phone while he was sleeping, now i didnt go through the messages i just wanted to see who had been texting him and three or four of them were girls none of which i knew..he says he wouldnt cheat on me cuz hes been cheated on but ive heard from peoplee that hes a man whore. should i trust him? orr what?
If you don't trust your boyfriend then why are you with him? Trust is 99% of a relationship and without it you can kiss your relationship goodbye.
If you are suspicious, Then there may be a damn good reason why you are. Let me point out a few "red flags" to the cheating game.
1. Does your boyfriend not seem interested in you and what you talk about?
2. Does he seem suspicious, Making up excuses? Hiding things?
3. Does he shut his phone off around you? Ignoring phone calls? Blow you off on a daily basis?
If so, Well then he is not worth your time. Should you be suspicious of the text messages? ..Guys are allowed to have friends that are females but if you really want to get the dirt on him question him about it.
18/f & 17/m; we've been together for almost two months; im in love with him even before we got together; we talked on and off; i knew he was guna be something hard to forget. we rarely agrue; we always joke around and have a good time; and our physical connection is amazing; well today he said he was working out, and he randomly starting having mixed emotions about him missing his ex marissa that he was with for a year and six months before we got together; she left him and hurt him both times they broke up; he said he knows its not going to work;
he's having mixed emotions, and said that he relaly loves me, but he thinks he rushed into a relatioshiop. He says he doens't know what he wants, but he knows if we break up, he isn't brekain up with me to get back with Marissa. He said in the morning we will see how things go, and to see if they go away after he sleeps on them;
I just don't know what to do; help?
Your boyfriend had two months to lay on it, Two months later he confronts his feelings to you that he still hasn't got over his ex. There is nothing to sleep on, He clearly isn't ready to be in a relationship. If he expressed that it is not going to work out, Then it probably won't. The truth, If he continues to be in a relationship with you the doubt of it being a healthy relationship will likely be on his mind as again he expressed he hasn't moved on from his ex. What can you do? Talk to him. Ask him what he wants, If he says he needs a break let him have it. You can't force someone to be in a relationship when they aren't ready to be in one all you can really do is except the truth and give him his space. If you two are strong enough to maintain a friendship then play it by ear for awhile and overtime see where it takes you. Denying the truth is only going to put your relationship on a rocky road.
I'm a sophomore in high school and my new-ish (3 mos.) boyfriend is kind of starting to drive me nuts. I really, REALLY like him, but he texts me about a million times a day and he asks me every. single. day. if I want to hang out with him. Like I said, I definitely like him, but I don't want to spend every waking minute with him and I'm running out of excuses...Help much appreciated :)
Communication, Let your boyfriend know that you need your space. Reassure him that everything is fine, You are entitled to your girl time once in awhile. Bring up that you feel that you just need to get out for awhile and spend time with some friends. Communication is important, If you keep bringing up excuses sooner or later he may pick up on it and then there comes the lack of trust. Be honest with him
how do i know that my partner love me for me and not my sex?
im 15 years of age ,and im a female
Teenage boys who are more focused on sex tend to bring the subject up a lot.
Only you can really answer your own question. However, Does he seem pushy? This is the key question.
Trust is very important in relationships, If you don't trust your boyfriend I highly recommend leaving the relationship before you end up with regrets. Like Razhie said, You may never know if he is all about sex. You can find clues though, These clues are usually pushiness, pressure and does he want to spend time with you?...Or would he rather spend time with you and get all touchy feeling? Remember, There are some VERY important things to keep in mind while in a relationship.
1. Communication
2. Trust
3. Respect
If you don't know if you trust your boyfriend completely, Then don't have sex. Without Trust, Your relationship is doomed
so don't tell me not to do this because i'm really determined. i know it may be bad but i really need to do this
i need to hack onto someones facebook account. does anybody know a good website or even a person who will help me? also, i'm looking for a FREE source. i dont want to pay. i know that paying will help me better chances but i'm not willing to pay.
please dont go through the trouble to stop me because i really have to figure this out. i know its bad and i dont want to go into full detail why i'm doing this, but i'm just looking to see if anybody knows a person who is good at it, or a source that can help me? or at least instructions how to do it. THANK YOU SO MUCH!
also, if facebook hacking is too hard. i do know the persons email. so maybe try hacking into their email? they have hotmail. thank you so much!
Hacking is Illegal, I do not recommend it. Don't let your immaturity get the best of you because what comes around goes around kiddo.
My boyfriend and have been having a lot of sex and he said it'd be easier if we used some lube to get things started at first because I don't get really, really wet. I have some lotion (unscented and scented varieties) here and I was wondering if that works okay as lube for sex or not? We're both kind of young and we're both embarrassed to go to the the store for sex lube lol So, does lotion work well?
I don't recommend using lotion only because it is not meant for that purpose. Using lotion for sex can cause infections. If you and your boyfriend are embarrassed to go to a sex store well a solution to your problem...Lube is also sold at pharmacies and Walmart normally ranging from 8-20 dollars.
what does it meen when you get a boner if your a boy?
Boner is another term for sexually aroused, Erect. In a simply put term his penis is hard.
Well I'm seventeen, my guy, 18 well. I met him when I was thirteen and he was fourteen, we became best friends and this last April he started dating. It seemed so perfect, we were so happy and I had never had such a perfect boyfriend. We had rough patches like every couple however, he drank and smoked and did some drugs. I didn't like it but I grew to be fine with it after a while. I took his virginity and my best friend was dating his best friend. Well, he had this friend called "M" who was moved to foster care in California two and a half years ago. (she was all of our friends but they were best friends) Well we planned a trip out to California to go see her. I thought about how romantic it would be to go on a road trip with my amazing guy to California and spend new years eve which is also our anniversary together. Well, when we got there we spent the night together then he got up and drove out to Lancaster to get her. I didn't see him til later that night. He wouldn't talk to me, he sat in his car high, I got really drunk and yelled at him. He forgave me and we made up. Then "M" foster mom called and said she was going to lose her license if we didn't bring her back. He left to her back and I waited all night for him. The next morning I went out to his car. And he told me this... "Grace, I love you, but I don't want to fuck up anymore, I don't want to hurt you. You know I'm not ready for a serious relationship and if I stay with you I'm just going to hurt you." It crushed me so much. After I cried for two hours and he cried too, he said we should try to be best friends like we used to, I've been trying since he dumped me a week ago, but it's hard, it was hard being on a road trip with a guy that promised he loved me then dumped me so easy. What to I say to him to make him realize that he's not thinking straight, how can I get him back. I wanna be his friend, but I'd rather keep being his girlfriend.
It sounds like your boyfriend cheated but it could also be possible the girl told him a few things and got him thinking a little bit.
If he doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore then you can't force him to be in one. The best thing to do is try to move on, I think it's wrong how he waits until you two go on a road trip together to bring this up. My advice, Ride it out until you get back home. Try to get along with him as best you can but understand where you stand. If you feel you are strong enough to maintain a friendship with him then you can work on it from there. If you need to take some time away for awhile then do so. There are always others out there for you.
i'm in a long distance relationship i'm 21 he's 23, he changes his miind alot and i dont know what to do , i know best would be to not be with him, but i wanna be with him i think something is wrong with me , cause he is not nice all the time, actually he is very mean sometimes calls me horrrible names insulting me but then next day he is like saying he is gonna move to my city and started looking for appartments and all so i dont understand if he acts that way cause maybe wants me to end the relationship or he just doesnt care or knows what he wants, he says he wants to be with me however he always imply that he knows im cheating (which ive never done) and actually one time we broke up for like 2 days he hooked up with a girl next than 24 hrs later ...and told me about it like 2 months after that happened .. i dont know what to do anymore to be honest..because one day he tells me he loves me and that he doesnt mean it when he calls me horrible names, but then next day if i dont pick up one of his calls or take some minutes to reply to his texts he starts calling me names, i always reply very fast and he NEVER does , sometimes he even dissapears for a complete day ! like 2 days ago he got upset cause i didnt took his calls and i stayed over at my friend's but the truth is my phone battery died i explained and still he started calling me a slut..we were still discussing that on the 31st in the morning and from 4 pm on he didnt took my calls or reply to my texts until today january 1st at 2 pm.....and he didnt even reply he just asked "what did you do yesterday i know you hooked up " and i was like no i didnt etc why didnt you took my calls etc . he said he was asleep which i dont believe, then he confessed at night he was at this party, but im like he usually replies even when with friends and he doesnt when he's with girls obviously so my guess he was with girls ... instead of trying to prove me wrong he was just like whatever you're a slut anyway...and i was like please stop messaging me i dont wanna talk to you anymore or anything else to do with you, he started texting me really mean stuff like you're a total slut (when he's the one that has been sneaky about stuff) and i'd never be serious with you unless its about f***ng you, and i didnt reply to that , he started texting me messages like oh you want me to f*ck you right ? (i didnt reply) and he started sending lots of messages like this :S like how he wants me to treat me like a slut and stuff etc. ...my guess is he did this so i would get upset and stop replying cause after that i tried talking to him and he didnt took my calls so im guessing he was being mean to keep me a way for the day and go out without me bothering him or whatever that's about cause he is usually all over me asking where im at and today he hasnt even asked cause obviously he doesnt want me to ask him., my point is sometimes he does stuff like blaming me for hidding stuff (which ive never done) blamming me for having lots of guy friends (which i dont even have ) blamming me for liking other guys when the truth is he is the one who admited to hooked up with a girl he thought was really hot, ...like he has no reason to tell me this stuff and still he does it i have even thought maybe he does it cause he wants to feel less guilty for maybe doing this things by blamming me or assuming i do them too, but then he also tells me he's gonna move to my city and live with me :S !!! i dont know what to do im so desperate i know its stupid sometimes he is very sweet but he's being really mean all the time now , like i would understand if he doesnt want me but then why is he asking all the time where im at and asking if im into other guys when even he was seeing this other girl behind my back, i dont know what to do has anyone ever had an experience like this ? another thing he doesnt trust me cause of the distance, he lives in britain and i live in america but he would come visit etc
Lets nail this down a bit
Your boyfriend obviously doesn't trust you, He accuses you of cheating and then gets all pissed off when you ignoring him and take time to cool off. (Lack of Trust)
Your boyfriend also, Has a tendency to treat you like shit then try and act like nothing happened a few days or hours later. (Lack of Communication)
Well, Honestly..Why are you still with him? You do know you deserve better don't you? The fact is your boyfriend is an immature ass who doesn't trust you. If he goes and hooks up with a girl after you two have broken up for only 2 days then he clearly didn't care all that much in the first place. The best thing for you, Dump him and move on. Find someone who will respect you, Commit themselves to you and trust you. Your best bet is to also try and find someone local, It's easier and a whole lot less stressful. You deserve better find someone who won't play mind games with you.
A few days ago I had a dream that my mom died.
And now i'm really scared, because I have a feeling something really bad is going to happen. But it's just a dream, right? I honestly don't know why i'm so scared, but I am.
What do dreams of death mean?
Courtesy of Dreammoods.com
Death
To dream about the death of a loved one, suggests that you are lacking a certain aspect or quality that the loved one embodies. Ask yourself what makes this person special or what you like about them. It is that very quality that you are lacking in your own relationship or circumstances. Alternatively, the dream indicates that whatever that person represents has no part in your own life anymore. In particular, to dream about the death of your parents, indicates that you are undergoing a significant change in your waking life. Your relationship with your parents has evolved into a new realm.
I'm 28 to 29. Should i be upset with my girlfriend for buying me one gift instead of a few gifts?
No, Why would you be upset? It's the thought that counts not about how much gifts you receive. The whole idea of the holidays is to spend time with your loved ones and exchange gifts of course but that is not what it is all about. Maybe the money situation is tough? However, I think you should be grateful for what you have, Not what you don't have.
I am not a good person. I have made many poor choices and no matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to stop screwing up. I know suicide is selfish, but I just don't want to hurt anyone else. I know that by committing suicide I will hurt many people, especially my daughters, but if I stick around I will hurt them more over the years. I have tried everything and nothing has worked. I know I will go to hell, and I am prepared because I deserve it. I tried to get God to stop me or help me or save me, but He hasn't. He just lets me continue to hurt those I love. I have researched, and thought this through for a very long time, tried to get every help I could. Am I missing something? I don't think there is any other way out. No matter what I do, I will hurt my loved ones. This seems to be my only option, but before I go and do it, I thought I would just ask. Maybe in the depths of this pain, I have missed another choice. Maybe not.
Suicide is not the right answer, There is ALWAYS a way out of things.
1, You have children, Do you really want them to be without a mother? Guess what, They might not say it on a daily basis but you are their mother, They love you and you mean the world to them. Nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. It's life, We learn from our mistakes and we work to make them better. Find the positive in your life, Your daughters and the fact that God has granted you that privilege to be a mother and have the opportunity to create life. Has God forgiven you? Yes, God forgives everyone and even though you may not feel it it's there and it will always be there. If counseling hasn't helped you in the past, Try going to group counseling maybe what you need is to hear that you are not alone and there are others out there that are in the same situation. Leaving your daughters behind would be selfish and that is forever pain, You don't want to hurt them then DO NOT do this. The way to work through things is to take it one day at a time. Are you on medication?..Maybe you could try to see a therapist? Again, There are always ways to better yourself but you have to do it in your favor to look in the right places. Everyone is worth it, You have to change your mind set. Some people are born into this world and aren't given the chance of life, Fortunately you were granted an opportunity and life. It is never to late to make things better always remember that.
Is it ok for a guy to hit his girlfriend, even if she did something to piss him off really bad?
No, It is never okay no matter what the circumstances are. That is abuse, Abuse is not okay.
me:18
sister 20
ok so last year at about this time i met a really attractive guy. lets call him nick. okay so nick and i hung out and my sister sometimes came along. i would notice how nick would flirt with my sister. before that i knew nick was a player. he always hid his phone. i didnt trust him. well to make a story short he ended up hanging out with my sister and even gave her a hickey. i found this out from a friend. when i confronted her about it she told me that she just wnated to protect me becuase she knew he was a player and wanted to prove that to me. the thing is that she had asked me if i wanted to know before she did that and i said no becuase i really liked him and i hoped that maybe he will like me back. so anyway when i found out i said all these horrible things to her. we didnt speak for about a month. well i forgave her becuase she said she was truely sorry and whatnot. so a year later (which is now) im just thinking back. we my sister and i used to be so close but after the thing with nick happened we are not so much. i found out she messed with a guy and that just brought memories back. like when she messed with nick(they kissed and he gave her a hickey). now, i just get so jealous when she tells me stories about guys becuase i remember what she did to me. i know shes trying hard to get back the relationship we had before. (we were REALLY close.) im trying too. but i just cant help it. i get so mad when she tells me the things she did with this guys she likes. i dont know i guess im just jealous. how do i overcome this. i have all this hatred deep inside. you dont understand i really liked nick and i feel so betrayed. i really dont know how to overcome this. any advice would be grateful.
BTW, my sister and i vowed not to talk about the nick situation. we always end up arguing about it and she said she doesnt need to be reminded about what she did. i mean i know shes sorry but why do i still have all this hatred deep inside? please help. thanyou in advance.
Your sister betrayed you and lied to you about it stating she was trying to protect you.
You have right to feel the way you do, However a year ago is a long time to still hold a grudge against your sister. Sure, It will always be in the back of your mind but for the future keep your relationship between your boyfriend and your sister separate. Your sister broke your trust, She is going to have to work really hard at gaining that back.
The best way to work through it, Talk to your sister. Keep in mind in the future some things are just better kept to yourself. You are your sister can still maintain a close relationship without her always being around. If you aren't comfortable discussing relationships with your sister, Tell her that. Sometimes people just need to have things kept to themselves.
Your boyfriend was a jerk, Find someone who will accept you and want to fully commit to you.
So, here's the thing...
I am 18 years old and I am trying to FIND myself SEXUALLY.
I have been attracted to both sexes since... i dont even remember when.
I think the only way to find out if i am TRULY BI SEXUAL is if i actually sleep with a girl since i have already had experience with guys before.
What do you think?
I just need advice on what anyone on here thinks.
AND PLEASE NO RUDE FEEDBACK.
&
**it would be really nice to have feedback from someone who has gone through the same thing, or knows someone that has gone through the same thing.**
Thanks
xoxo.
Razhie pretty much nailed it but I have a few things to add
If you want to be with a woman, Don't let anyone stop you. We all are who we are, Despite what someone may think. If you are bisexual, It is perfectly fine as there are a lot of gay, bisexual, lesbian people out there. Being bisexual is not something to be shamed of or scared. However, Your first experience with a girl I can understand that it probably is giving you an uneasy feeling at first but just remember the more you contribute the more it gradually becomes a more comfortable environment. If you are sexually experiencing, Then let your partner know that you'd like to takes thing slow. If the person respects you, They should respect your choices as well. If you can't see yourself kissing and being with a woman...Well then that answers your question.
I don't fully agree with not having to be with a woman to know if you are bisexual or not. Sometimes in order to know for sure we have to do things that we never pictured ourselves doing to find real answers and to get a feel on things. If you want to sleep with a woman, Go for it. Again, You are 18 years old and you are of age to freely date who ever you wish. Just remember, If it doesn't turn out the way you thought it would...Let the person down lightly as everyone has feelings.
Hi everyone, 23 and female here...
I saw the red flags, but I had just come out of an emotionally abusive relationship; I refused to believe that I had run straight into a worse situation...but I had.
I've been free of him since mid-October, when I took the day off work, gathered my things, and left. We were living together in the house he bought to share with me, talking about marriage and kids...I know it sounds bizarre, given the abuse, but in his own sick way, he loved me. I never doubted that...and I loved him. If I listed the qualities of my dream guy, I would almost describe him. I dreamed of spending my life with him until he started to physically hurt me.
So here's my problem:
When I left him, I turned off my emotions. If I had let myself feel, I knew I wouldn't have been able to do it. Until this past Saturday, I've been pleasantly numb. I'm very busy, I have a lot of responsibility at work, and I don't have time or energy to waste on being upset. All of a sudden, that logic doesn't seem to be helping, and I find myself biting back tears all the time. I realized that I know only two ways to cope with things: to suppress what I'm feeling completely, or to let it take over.
I have a therapist, but I don't think I'm getting what I need from her. I've seen seven different therapists in my short life and none of them have been able to help me. I'm also on an antidepressant, and STILL having these problems.
I know this is kind of vague, but I don't know what to ask, exactly. I just...need help...any help. Please.
Thanks to all who try.
You stated you have been keeping yourself busy with work but let me ask a question, Are you filling in the blanks with things you enjoy doing?
I would recommend taking some time to relax, The moments you have to yourself read a book, listen to music (music that takes your mind off things) go for a walk, hang out with friends and family. You need it
You are on the right track, Keeping yourself busy will help you cope with things but on the other hand you also need YOU time. At night when you take a shower bring the radio in the bathroom. Instead of a shower try taking a long hot bath. Anti-Depressants, They help with depression but they don't completely cure the problem. If you feel your medication isn't working properly then you need to consult your doctor but ask yourself to whether this is actually your pills not working or a part of your grieving process. Grieving comes in different stages 1. (Shock and Denial) 2. (Pain & Guilt) 3.(Anger) 4. (Depression & Loneliness) 5.(The Upward Turn) 6. (Reconstruction) 7. (Acceptance & Hope) The best thing to do is if you are still in contact with your ex, Cut all contact. That is the first step. Try and spend time with family and friends when you can as they will always be there to help you. If your therapist isn't helping try requesting a new one and as I am not a doctor but maybe you could see a psychiatrist also.