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should i settle? or leave him?
i'm 21, my bf is 23, the other girl is 21.
me and my bf have been together for almost a year. about 3 months ago we split up for like a week. he confessed during this time he met a girl (i asked who was this person trying to contatnly call and texting him ) and he said they went out on a date during that time and he kissed her but he realised he really cared about me and thats why he came back to me
he first said he already deleted her and eventho he first lied about her he came clean about her, i discovered he didnt deleted her when he said, but i know they havent talked cause she sends msgs like i dont know why you stopped talking to me etc , she's been trying to contact him ever since ! sending him messages asking to be added on facbeook again which he didnt accept but also didnt declined, trying to call him , texting him , etc....
so i started thinking...if i were him i would ask the other person to stop trying to contact me cause its making my bf uncomfortable
i asked him to ask her he said ' talking to her even to ask her that would be to take a step back ' cause he has completley ignored her yea he didnt wanted to delete her so i thought maybe he just doesnt wanna hurt her hence why he kept her added but ..the fact he lied about doing it hurted me ...
my point is ...should i be really this upset? cause i feel like he chose to protect her feelings than protecting mine :S...he hasnt spoke to her and i know but still i told him either you ask her to stop or we're over. he didnt even cared he just said ' just know that i chose you not her ' but still i feel he chose her by protecting her, i wasn't even meaning of him to be mean just say something like please stop trying to contact me etc or whatever but being nice about it ..so i have some questions and would like an opinion
1- should i be this upset at him for prefering that i break up with him than dealing with this girl he says he doesnt even want?
2- should i forget about it get back with him and ask the girl nicely to stop?
3- should i forget about it go back to him when this still bothers me alot (to be honest this isnt even a real option)
i wanna know what would someone else do, i mean in the end yea he chose me but it also hurts alot that he lied about it, and after comming clean about it he refuses to do something that will help me get us past this whole issue since i still can't let it go.
im sorry its long
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Don't interfere with it, This is your boyfriends problem. Your boyfriend needs to grow some balls and tell her sternly to stop calling. If he really wants her to stop, He'd find a way to get her to stop.
Now to the pointers
1. Why hasn't he removed her from his phone? It isn't going to benefit him in any shape or form to have her sitting in his contacts. Unless he is hiding something from you.
2. There is a block list on facebook, Why hasn't he blocked her? If it bothers him so much you would think he would at least block all contact.
3. You split for a week and already he is chasing down other woman? Sounds like maybe he had someone for a backup. Are you sure he is telling you the entire truth? Sure doesn't like it.
You have every right to be upset, Your boyfriend went behind your back and lied about it. A week is not a long time and whether you both decided to go your separate ways, I call it a break and I think there is more to your story then what your boyfriend has told you. If you tell her yourself not to contact him, You are only pissing her off and feeding into the problem. Talk to your boyfriend, Let him know how you feel about the situation if he still doesn't do anything about it then move on.
EDIT: If your boyfriend doesn't want to remove her from the contacts due to not knowing who would be calling. Has he tried to contact the cell phone company? I believe he can block her for a small fee of 10 dollars depending on what server you are using. If he is under contract his phone should come with a block as well. Facebook privacy options can be found on the top right hand corner (Account-Account Privacy) Good luck!
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