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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

There is a boy I really like so I asked him out to the dance and he said no because his family was going to whisler and he wasn't allowed, then I heard from one of my friends that he is going to the dance. My friend later that day told me he woulnd't go out with me because I was to FAT!!!!!

Unfortunately at your age, I am assuming you are talking about a high school dance, boys your age are all about appearance. They have not yet learned about the inner beauty of someone which is far more important than the outer appearance.

That being said being fat does not make someone ugly or unappealing. Boys want to date girls that look like the models and actresses they see in magazines and movies. In an older person this would be someone looking for a trophy date or trophy wife. Is it right, NO?

As a society we put a lot of value on being attractive especially women. The actresses and models the boys are looking for in date are actually underweight and doing harm to themselves. Fact is it is worse to be 10 pounds under weight than 10 pounds overweight.

Now you say you’re fat. Are you really fat? How old are you? IF you are a young teenager starting through puberty those extra pounds you may be carrying are need to help you transform into the woman you are meant to be. To call yourself fat I would say you would have to be over 10 pounds overweight. If this were the case your family doctor would be after you to lose weight.

Now if you are overweight you should lose weight, not because a boy says your fat. You lose weight because it is the right thing to do for yourself and your health. Now overeating is not the only reason for being overweight.

Before starting to diet you should have a complete physical. Ask your doctor to check your thyroid function. Thyroid function is a cause for someone to be overweight. If your thyroid is not functioning properly all the dieting in the world will not help you lose weight.

If there is no medical reason for you being overweight; then the best way to diet is through proper nutrition and exercise. Your doctor can recommend a nutritionist who will work with you on meal planning. You schools physical education teachers can help you with an exercise program.

Most importantly though is that you must want to lose weight. Without the desire you won't have the will power to lose weight. As for that young man; the heck with him he is too vain and not worth having you for his date.

Hi adviceman49,

Thanks for your response. The only thing is, I really can't just lay down the law and walk away. They help pay for college, and I'm on their insurance, and at least for now while I don't have a car, it's their car I borrow when I'm home.

This summer I had the option to move up in my job - instead of a suburb office, I could be in the corporate office which is in a major city. They told me NOT to do it, because they thought it would be too hard to figure out the logistics. I on the other hand didn't want to pass up this opportunity!

I found an apartment very nearby that was safe, affordable, and had a lot of amenities, and presented all the information to them. They said no, that I was to work in the suburb office. Finally I convinced them to let me be in the major city, but they insisted that I would commute. And not with a car - my dad would drop me at the train station on the way to work, and then pick me up from the station on his way home from work. I am trapped and controlled by their time schedule. Last summer, though, I would be threatened with "you won't have the car at all this week!" which would screw me over for work, and now I feel it's going to be "you won't get a ride to the station tomorrow!!" so they are still going to be able to make sure I comply with everything they demand. I'm hoping to make friends in the office who maybe have a place in Boston so I can stay over there sometime? It's just dealing with whatever consequences when I come home that's the issue.

Any other advice sparked after knowing a little more would be appreciated! Thanks so much for your time!

Realize that you are an adult and they are treating you as a child. This is not unusual, in fact I was guilty of this with my son until I actually saw him as an adult for us it happened when the two of us responded to the same fire call. I don't recommend you becoming a firefighter to prove to your parents your an adult. Yet that is what you must do.

Take the job you want, especially if this job is going to be a boost to the career you studying for. Normally I do not recommend rebelling but in this case it is not rebelling it is declaring your need for freedom to control your life. Remind your parents when they object that controls are a two way street.

Explain to your parents you appreciate what they are doing for you. But not at the expense of your ability to grow as an adult. If they cannot accept that you are an adult and allow you certain privileges that come with being an adult. That as much as it may hurt you all you can finish school at night while working full time and living on your own. The only control they have over you is monetarily and they are not being fair. There are going to be times starting now where you need to make decisions and you cannot say, "wait I have to call mommy or daddy to see if they agree or if it fits their schedule." That is no longer in my best interest.

Hopefully you plan to marry and have children. As parents we look forward to the day we get to see and play with our grand children. This is the control you have over them. You can allude to it or be blunt about it. That their controlling has to stop or their seeing their future grandchildren will be severely limited for you do not want them controlling your children.

This is called fighting fire with fire. It is up to you if you have to go this far. You need more freedom and they should not be controlling you with college funds or health care.

Did I do the right thing by telling him

Yes you did.

I am 25 but I have the mind of a 12 year old and I go to the mr centerand the guy that i had sex with is 26 with no disabilities what so ever and I want to know in the state of Georgia could he be still considered a sex offender even though I am 25 but have the mind of a 12 year old and go to the mr center and I think that's why my cousins husband is being so over protective . I am just glad that when my cousins husband told my cousin and she took me to get a pregnancy test done it came out negative.

I don't know about the law in Georgia but you are unable to legally consent. If he knew this then it is considered rape and he could be arrested if convicted he would be a sex offender. I'm sure this is why you cousin is upset,

I am a 20 year female in reasonably good health.
For the past few years, I've experienced cramping, pain and stiffness in my fingersinternet pecifically my pinkies and ring fingers. I have not been able to extend them without discomfort. Within the last few months, I have now had the same sort of problems in my feet. The tendons and archs will cramp and spasm causing serious pain. This is starting to also happen in my hands (the cramping/spasms in my hands never happened before)
I went to a doctor before, told them what was happening with my hands, and they took xrays and said nothing was wrong.
In my career, I type a lot which would make sense for my hands cramping up and being stiff. But with it now happening to my feet, I am starting to get concerned.
Does anyone know what this could be? Thanks!

For the most part I agree with Dragonflymagic. I definitely feel you should get a second opinion from another doctor with a complete blood panel to check for electrolyte imbalance, potassium levels and calcium as well as vitamin B and D.

You might also want to visit with an Orthopedic doctor as well as a Rheumatologist. I realize you are only 20 but arthritis can strike at any age. Most likely it is not arthritis but a combination of the amount of typing you do and the way you sit at your work station.

Seeing a Rheumatologist or Orthopedic doctor is the best choice for a Second Opinion.

I'm in college. My mom was going to claim me on her income taxes, but they told her that someone already claimed me on theirs. We live in Texas. Does that mean that they have my information? Can they get caught?

They told me my mom she couldn't get anything since someone else claimed me.

If your parents are not divorced and your dad is not the one claiming you as a dependent then your mom needs to work with the IRS to clear this up. Someone using your SS number to claim you as a dependent is very much like identity fraud. There are some instances where people have filed entire tax returns in other peoples names. The IRS has people who work to clear up these problems. I believe now that the government is going paperless with refunds it is made easier as they have bank accounts that have to agree with the taxpayer or no refund is sent.

Now if your dad took you as a dependent because he pay child care that could be a filing error. He can deduct the child care but he cannot claim you as a dependent at the same time. Here again the IRS if mom files a complaint will work to clear this up. Mom can file an extension giving her until October 15 to file her tax return and then if this issue is still unresolved she can speak to the IRS about a further extension.

Awhile back I was dating this guy and ee had sex and he told me not to tell anyone but I kinda had to because I thought I was pregnant so I told my cousins husband because he is like my dad since my real dad died when I was really young and he said he wasn't mad at me just disapointed and I am nervous because he is going to give the boy a piece of his mind for having se eith me and then leaving a week after and he said what he is going to say isn't going to be ve very nice cc at all any advice please.

I know why your cousins’ husband feels as he does. You were used by this boy something I tell girls who write to us and say they are going to have sex or want to have sex.

Teenage boys are sort of hard wired to have sax. As such they have a different definition of love. TO them lust and love are the same. In general one a girl has sex with them they lose interest I her and move on to another. I remember when I was a teenager some of the guys actually had a game of seeing how many girls they could have sex with each school year. You got points for different sex acts. Actual intercourse got the most points and if you took girls virginity you got mega points.

Unlike boy most girls cannot and will not have sex just for the sake of having sex. They need a commitment. Most teenage boys will say just about anything to get in girls pants. One of the most well used lines is; if you love me you will have sex with me." You don't have sex with someone to prove your love for them. Sex is the end result of loving someone the culmination if you will.

This is what is upsetting you cousins’ husband. Having been a young male himself he knows all too well what happened between you. Frankly I would be doing the same thing. If in fact the boy is much older than you I would be doing more than giving him a piece of my mind. I would probably be talking to the police.

Since some of the story is missing, not your fault you hit the highlights, I don't think you can talk you cousins husband out of talking to this boy. Legally you cannot consent to having sex until you reach the age of consent that is the law. The fact that the guy told you not to tell anyone you had sex with him makes me wonder how old his is and if having sex with him makes him a sex criminal. You’re not going to be able to stop your cousins husband so don’t try. If this guy is that much older than you that sex with you is a criminal act for him, he is getting off easy.

Hi, I'm 21 and home from college for Spring break. I know it's probably an oddity that someone of my age is on here, but I used to use Advicenators a lot as a young teen, and thought perhaps the people on this site would come through for me again even years later. Bear with me, I promise these paragraphs lead somewhere.

My boyfriend lives about an hour away when we're both in our hometowns. When we are at school though, he has an apartment about 10 minutes off campus, and I live on-campus. We spend a bunch of nights together, most often at his place, because he has no room mates, and we can just do homework all night, cook meals, talk about whatever we want, and -dare I say it- fart... basically just live a stress-free life and function together as a couple.

We just began Spring break (there are another 7 days left) and I really miss being with him. Now before you think this is just an "I miss my boyfriend" cry, let me talk it out. I don't text him all the time or ask him to call me every night or question if he really cares about me or any of that kind of insecure behavior - he stays in touch, will call occasionally because he knows I like it, and in return, I know he needs and deserves to have his time with his several close hometown friends that are not in college. Unfortunately, MY hometown friends from high school have all taken diverse paths in life - but all via the college route. Even if our Spring breaks did line up, we really are all different people now (which I know thanks to the ghost friendships I have with them through Facebook). So I'm kind of lonely when home, and as a result, just want to go see my boyfriend because he's the one who makes me not lonely. Simple enough.

So it occurred to me that there's got to be something that makes me engaged in MY community besides wanting to run off into his - I plan to volunteer locally, watch some documentaries to better my world knowledge, and of course, visit with my local, elderly family members while they're still around. I've actually done some of these things already. Still, it's tough to know that so many people I know at college are running off to tropical places for their Spring breaks, while I'm sitting here like "Yeah, I wouldn't have people I'd really want to go to Cancun with anyway. Nor would I have the money. I'm trying to buy a car at some point.." There just aren't people at school that I've found have the level of maturity along with similar interests and personality traits to be good friends with. I have some friends at school, don't get me wrong, but they just aren't the kind of people I'd be proud to introduce to, say, my boss or co-workers at the corporation I work at during the Summers.

Back to the money thing though, my boyfriend really doesn't have much money either. Typical of college students I guess, that the little money we can afford to spare from saved-up part-time jobs gets spent on some alcohol and $1 ice creams from McDonalds. I've never dated a man with money. But I've got a good one, and a cute one too.

Here's where I think my main problem is. At least the one that drove me to write this question:

Living with my parents when I come home for breaks is a TOTALLY different experience. Where "Ben" and I get up in the morning with enough time to get to class on the applicable days, but elect to sleep in when we can, my parents make me get up at 9am every morning just because "you should!" Where I can get dressed, use the bathroom, shower, send emails.. do what I need to do on my own managed timeline at Ben's, when I'm at home, I have people knocking on doors telling me to "go do this," and "how come you're taking so long" with that. My parents are also not the type of people to let me go stay with him for a few days (which would be nice because his family is much more like the lifestyle he and I have, and would be a much welcomed "Spring break" retreat). My parents hold me to exact times and expect asking for permission for everything - often modifying what I want to do for the sheer reason of keeping control. If they aren't concretely given all details about who, what, where, when, etc. within 24 hours of the activity, I don't even have a chance at getting their permission.

I've tried getting them to loosen their grip. I've been complying for years, but it is really getting in the way now. Luckily my boyfriend tells me "I'm dating you, not your parents," and doesn't let it affect him too much, but I know he's not comfortable the few times he's come over. It'd be much better if we could all laugh and joke and not worry about my parents being awkward and getting offended.

As to their tight grip on me, I've sat down with them and explained how grateful I am for all that they've done for me in raising me, and that I'm not rebelling, it's just that I've grown up and I need them to trust me and give me the respect of making decisions. After all, I've been doing it on my own for the last 3 years when I'm at school with flying colors - I've a GPA of 3.7!

So, my question:

** How do I properly cope with all the differences from being with Ben in our fun, relaxed, but still very responsible world, and then back home in my parents' strict world? **

You are between the proverbial rock and a hard place with this question.

You are legally an adult at age 21 and do not have to tell you parents anything about what you do or who you do it with. You do not need permission to do anything and have not since you were 18 which is the legal age of adulthood. Since that time your parents had no legal responsibility for you or to you. The flip side of this coin is you wish to honor your parents for all they have done for you. If this means living by their rules when living under their roof you have chosen to do so. While this is frustrating for you the alternatives are just as maddening for it means not to come home and live with them during spring and summer breaks.

Yes your parents are trying to control you. As to the why of this it is hard to say. From a fathers point of view it is hard to see his daughter as anything but his little girl. Too many fathers even when their daughter are all grown up and have families of their own, their daughters are still their little girls. It's different for boys. Boys are their sons who they teach to be men who are to go out and make their way in the world. Is it fair; no it is not? Will fathers ever change, I doubt it. There are other reasons why your parents are trying to control you. If so you need to work harder at breaking this hold they have on you if you don't they will continue to try and control you for the rest of your life; even when you marry and have a family.

I admire your willingness to live by your parents rules when living under their roof. Many parents demand this of their children regardless of their age. This is wrong to do to adult children. It is both right and wrong of you to honor them this way. You need to need to start breaking the chains that bind you. With one exception all of their controlling issues are up for breaking. The one exception is allowing your boyfriend to spend the night in your bed. While they may know this is how you two spend most nights, this is a core value issue, for them that you should stay away from. If you want and need to sleep together either get a motel room or go to his parents’ house who are more liberal.

For the other rules they have when they insist on knowing something. Just say that is personal. If they say you must be home by a certain time. Say you will try but they should not wait up for you and that you will call if you are going to stay out later. You should call them if you do intend to stay out past their curfew. Do call them, if they start to argue or demand you come home, say you will discuss this with them in the morning and hang up as politely as you can. What you are doing is teaching them that you will not be controlled in this manner. Sharing some information as to where you’re going or who you are seeing is entirely up to you. They have no legal right to know this.

It will be frustrating and taxing at first. I don't believe, from what you have written, this has anything to do with trusting you. If your parents are true controllers you need to break this cycle of control they have over you or you will sufferer with it for the rest of your life. If you have tried talking with them and nothing has changed then a tough love approach is the only other way to go.

What do you know about fuel injection? Is it possible for me to change this sensor by myself or do I have to take the car in to a mechanic? I have basic mechanical skills.

You could probably change the sensor yourself though I would not recommend it. Given the sophistication of today's engines and fuel systems doing so could cause problems or void warranties.

My 7 year old son is diagnosed ADHD, Asperges and Anxiety. One of his doctor brought up possible frontal lobe syndrome. After speaker with his peds doctor we decided to run a CT Scan. Which came back to him having a cyst. The woman that called with the results couldn't tell me much other than he has a cyst on his brain and they would need to do an MRI due to him not being able to stay still we are being referred to a child's hospital and a neuro doctor. He has also been having trouble with his heart he is scheduled for a echo next week. I'm a single mom of two and I don't know who to talk to about any of this I don't have many friends I'm newly divorced moved to a new area.

I would hope and wish that the child's father would have an interest in his children's well-being. I understand you two are newly divorced and whatever the problem is between the two of you can and should be put aside for the benefit of the children.

IF you feel you cannot speak to him directly then find a way to contact him about this for he needs to know. You can have your lawyer contact him or contact his parents. He should be informed. Whether he cares to do anything or participate in the child's medical care is up to him. IF he does chose to participate the two of you can be civil with each other for your sons benefit during those times you are together.

Now what and who to talk to: You want to talk to the doctors and be your sons’ medical advocate. I understand given his medical condition as you have described my wife and I would be scared out of our wits. It is okay to be scared but you also have to be strong for your son.

Make sure you understand what the doctor is telling you. If you have questions when you see the doctor(s) write them down; make sure you get them answered. You also have a right to second opinions. Your insurance company will pay for a second opinion.

A Cyst is usually just a Cyst. Given where it is at the doctors may want to drain it rather than remove it. There are probably different techniques for doing so. I would think the less invasive the techniques the better if possible, this is definitely were you would want to get a second opinion especially if this doctor wants to remove it.

As for his heart problem: Here again based on what the doctors tell you you need to ask questions to make sure you understand what the problem is and how they want to fix it. It is quite possible this is a problem that with medication and time he will grow out of or it may be a problem the doctor feels needs surgical correction. IF so there is a number of techniques different doctors use for different problems. Once again getting a second opinion is the right thing to do.

The child's father should be informed and you should allow him to participate in these discussions even though you may have sole custody. Whether he chooses to do so is up to him. If he chooses not do and you need help with any of the decisions you need to make you can always ask for help from the hospital social service workers.

It is okay to be scared for you have every right to be until you find out just what you are facing medically with your son. You also need to be strong and be his advocate. You can do this, you're a mom and moms are the toughest creatures/people on the planet, I am not kidding when I say this.

If you have questions you do not feel you are getting answers to write back to me. I have some medical insight and what I don't know I can research for you or ask my son who is a paramedic.

The only thing I ask of you is to put aside whatever differences you and your ex have for the benefit of your son.

I have friends, but I'm not really close to anyone. I also have problems trusting people enough to have a significant relationship, especially guys. I guess part of it is that I have seen my parents get divorced three times and I just have this fear that once I trust someone enough to love them, they'll go away. It's happened all my life. Anyway, the result is that I'm nice to everyone, close to no one, and pretty lonely because I kind of emotionally isolate myself.
How do I get over my fears and trust people?

I understand what you have written and given your life experience to date I believe what is happening to you is understandable. It being understandable and being fair to you are not the same. In fact it is hurtful and you are not to blame for how and where you find yourself at this time.

The quickest way I know of to get your life back is with the help of a professional counselor; such as a psychologist. Deep in your sub-conscious you have built a protective wall based on your live experiences. You have so much as said so when you wrote; "I guess part of it is that I have seen my parents get divorced three times and I just have this fear that once I trust someone enough to love them, they'll go away."

This wall took you a long time to build and it will take time to tear down. It will be made easier to do with the help of a professional to guide you. When you work with a psychologist he or she, whoever you are more comfortable with, becomes your new best friend. The person you can tell your deepest and darkest secrets to knowing they will never be told to anyone else for everything you say in therapy is confidential.

You built this wall for a reason probably more than the reason you are giving. Once that reason is revealed the psychologist can help you deal with it in a manner that is less hurtful. Once properly dealt with you can learn to trust people again. Not everyone is untrustworthy. There are far more people deserving of being trusted than those who should not be trusted. You need to learn who to trust and how to trust again. It will take time but it will be worth it.

You haven't given your age. If you’re working your EAP program will cover the first few visits to the psychologist as well as help you find one you are comfortable with. IF you are in school then a parents EAP program will do the same for you and them their health insurance will kick in. If you are in college go to the health center and ask for help.

(Sorry this is long but I need advice asap)

There's a little bit over 2 months left of school for this year, but I just can't handle it anymore. My parents said it was possible for me to get homeschooled starting this upcoming school year, but I want to start now. I'm planning on talking to her about this soon, but I think I might only have this one chance to convince her and I need some advice on what to say.

I want to go to home school now because I honestly have severe anxiety. I can't handle being away from home for that long period of time because I just get scared of everything. Even the little things. Plus, I can't focus. I do believe that I can focus more if I am at home. That may sound weird, but it's better for me. I just am so tired of public school. And I can't move either, because all of the other schools are just much worse.

So, what I'm asking for is advice on what to tell my mom that will hopefully convince her to letting me go to homeschool a little bit earlier. Also, please don't tell me to stick through it for just the last 2 months because I just can't. It's literally a living hell. Thanks

I agree with Dragonflymagic. Homeschooling is not going to fix what appears to be the underlying problem; that being a phobia about leaving home or being away from home. By giving into the phobia and being home schooled is only going to make things worse for you mentally as at some point you will or could start to refuse to leave home all together.

Now your problem could have a double edge to it. That being your phobia is not allowing you to get the education you both need and deserve. By giving into it and home schooling you will only heighten the phobia which is also harmful.

If I were one of your parents I believe what I would offer you is a compromise. In exchange to home schooling you for one year; you would have to agree to philological counseling to overcome this phobia. The counseling may include visits to both a psychiatrist and psychologist whatever it takes to get over or learn to deal with this phobia. You agree to work with these doctors and be compliant with what they ask you to do. This is for your own best interest.

I believe your parents see what is going on here and this is why they may be reluctant to home school you. They do not want you giving in to the phobia and spending the rest of your life house bound.

Therefore my suggestion to you is; that you take my compromise suggestion to them. That you will accept the help you need from any doctors they feel you need to see which could include both a psychiatrist and psychologist in exchange for home schooling. Your agreement to this may be enough for your parents to start home schooling right away rather than next year.

Make the offer to your parents as they are probably trying to find a way to come to you with a suggestion you see someone about this but don't want to hurt you in doing so. You have your whole life in front of you and a wonderful world out there to explore. Do this for yourself for it is worth the effort. You do not want to spend the rest of your life locked in your home.

My fiancé and I have been together for 4 years now, engaged just over a year. Our relationship has seemed to be great. We get along fantastically and we always work out our differences. We're a very happy couple. But recently I've found out that during the beginning of our relationship, he constantly messaged and flirted with all of his ex's and other girls he knew. He'd try to make plans to go see them and tell them how much he missed them and even sometimes how much he still cared about them. He admitted that he did almost cheat on me, due to the fact he was making plans to see one of his ex's that would've probably ended up in having him cheat. Upon finding all this out, it's completely broken my heart and broken my trust for him. He has apologized; deleted all of their numbers; blocked them on Facebook; and hasn't once talked to any of them since then, but even though it was so long ago, I'm still incredibly hurt, and I'm not sure what to do. When I asked him why he did this, he said he was worried (because he was moving for me) that I would end up breaking up with him like some of his ex's have done in the past after he's made a big commitment. Though I understand I realize that this is no excuse for what he did. I know I can learn to forgive him; especially since he is putting in more than 110% on fixing what he did wrong. But I need help on knowing how can I trust him again? It was so devastating to find out. And it hurts me so much. Am I overreacting? How do I deal with something like this? Has anyone else had to deal with this kind of situation before and how did you overcome it? Anything advice helps.

Let me see if I understand you correctly. You recently found something out about what happened during the beginning of your relationship with your fiancé. Something that happened early in your relationship before you could call yourselves truly a couple in a relationship. Now sometime recently you found out that during this time he kept in touch with his past girlfriends going so far as to make dates to meet up with them but didn't. You don't say how you found this out which is important. Did he tell you or did you snoop on his phone and find their numbers and question him?

If this was something that happened before you two were truly a couple committed to a long term relationship. Then I might be inclined to say you were over reacting as I would say that there was no true commitment from either of you to each other at that time other than dating.

Admitting that he almost cheated on you is not the same as cheating on you. The police cannot arrest someone because they are thinking about robbing a bank, they have to rob a bank to be arrested. It is like former President Carter is quoted as saying he lusts in his heart about Playboy centerfolds. A man can lust all he wants he is not guilty of cheating unless he commits the act.

I have been married for 43 years come this July. When we were first married my wife said I can look at the menu all I want. Should I ever decide to reorder or sample the menu she would cut of a very impotent part of me, ALA Lorena Bobbitt.

He did not cheat which is important. As you go through married life he will come in contact with other women, at work, at church and at home with neighbors. He will form friendships with these women just as you will form friendships with other men. This is where trusting that the bed you each sleep in is only the one you both share.

Without knowing how you found out about his early indiscretion, as you see it, I really cannot comment. Suffice to say that you two have been a couple for four years and engaged for the last year. Holding something against him or him to you would be and is wrong given when it happened. As I see it based on your writing you were not exclusive at that time and being that way would give neither one of you reason at this time to be upset or to hold it against each other.

Tell your fiancé you over reacted and to mark it up to pre-wedding glitters which this is what it truly appears to me to be. Kiss and make up and have a wonderful life together. The most important advice I can give you for that is to never go to bed mad. This is 43 years of marriage speaking and I've not been the easiest person to live with. We must be doing something right as we are only one of three couples of all our friends still on our first marriage.

There are any drug i can take to prevent me falling pregnant?

If you are old enough there is the plan "B" pill but it must be taken with in 48 hrs of intercourse.

I'm 13 n I want to be fucked:(! How can I relieve my horniness

You're 13 and what you are feeling are the hormones of puberty running wild in your body. Hence the term "Horny." I'm assuming from how you have written to us and the statement; "I want to be fucked," That you are a female.

At your present age your outward appearance may have changed enough that you now look like a women and you may even have your period. You are not yet and still far from being a woman either fully in your appearance or internally.

Yes you most certainly can get pregnant at your current age which is a nasty trick for your body is not truly ready for a pregnancy. Just like older women a women your age who becomes pregnant is consider a high risk pregnancy because of what being pregnant can cause to happen. High risk is generally mean to be life threatening for either the baby, the mother or both.

That is the first problem with having sex at your age as the body is not ready. You’re not ready or mature enough; simply by your statement it says that, to have responsible sex. Your sex organ, your vagina is not ready to be penetrated so it is going to hurt and you could be harmed as well needing a doctors care to repair.

I know what you’re saying I have no idea what I'm talking about for you know better. Unfortunately I have seen this all too often, not with girls your age who had consensual sex but girls your age and younger who have been raped. As a fire fighter I have responded on rape calls.

I also know 13 year old boys. They are too immature to be having sex as well. If you offer them your body they will take it to please themselves. They will not be gentle and you will feel used and dirty. IF you continue to offer yourself to boys you will get a reputation around school that no girl wants. Then you will write us asking us something we will never answer.

To be honest if you were 3 years older I am liberal enough to tell you differently. It would be hypocritical of me to say otherwise. I would probably ask you or at least advise you to wait a bit longer. If your were dead set on having sex at 16 then I would advise you on how to get birth control and how to have safe sex. You’re not 16 your 13 and it is wrong and not safe for you to have sex at this age. This is your hormones talking.

IF you really need to relieve the sexual tension then masturbate. Their is nothing wrong with masturbation. It is natural and safe. According to a survey done on masturbation 85% of the population masturbates. Statistically this means one or both of your parents masturbate.

Masturbation is not wrong or evil. Parents tell their children not to do so for they fear it will lead to doing the real thing. I and many other parents believe it will stop or delay children from having sex before they should.

Iam married for 9years. n I iam 29yers old female. n my husband doesn't likes sex atall.... I evn trying giving divorce but he doesn't wants to giv divorce... coz he loves me like crazzy and I dnt love him at all.... n I love his brother dat is my brother in law but my brother in law doesn't evn looks at me so guys can you plz help me tell me what can I do m going crazzy plz help me

There are several reasons a man would not want to have sex. One would be he is on some medication, such as blood pressure medication, that makes it impossible for him to get an erection. If so tell his doctor and the doctor most likely would prescribe something like Viagra.

The other reason is also a medical reason for which his doctor can help. It is called low "T" or ;low Testosterone level. This is something his doctor can check for and generally easily fixed.

If it is neither of these or any other medical reason then it is possible yours is a show marriage and he gets his sexual relief in other ways. IF this is so you do not need his permission to get a divorce you can see a lawyer and file for one on your own. Is see not reason, from what you have written, why a judge would not grant you a divorce.

If you two have never had sex then you have never consummated your marriage. If that is so you can even file for an annulment with your church.

Should you send a letter thanking the person who interviewed you? A friend says you should, but I don't know if it would be weird or not. What do you think?

Yes send a thank you letter. Every few people do this. Try and get a business card from the person who interviews you. Doing so gives you the person’s name so you can spell it properly along with the proper mailing address or their email address. If they have an email address it is proper in today’s world to send the thank you letter by email. Just format the email as you would a letter.

The letter only has to be a few lines.

Dear _______,

I enjoyed meeting and speaking with you today and look forward to working with you and your company. Should you have any additional questions for me please feel free to call me.

Sincerely,

That is all you really need. Make sure the letter is formatted with your return address and contact information.

I got married one and half month ago but our sex relationship is uncompleted. ...We try every day but panis do not push inside..I have lot a pain when my husband start sex...I am feeling very guilty. .because I am not support him properly. ..

You have not said so I will assume you were a virgin on your wedding night and now you are also frustrated. You also have not said if your husband was a virgin or has some sexual experience.

If you are both virgins take heart this is not uncommon. For the purpose of my answer I am going to assume you were both virgins on your wedding night. I also want to tell you I am of your grandparents’ age so I am a bit more knowledgeable on this subject then some of the younger advisers and I'm also very liberal in my views on sex.

Let’s start with saying what happens in your bedroom stays in your bedroom. Meaning there is virtually nothing that a man and women can do in the realm of sex that is considered weird or wrong as long as both of you consent to do it. If either of you feel that what the other wants to try is not right; you say so and it is not done.

This can be a sexual position or some type of sex act itself. Communication between partners is what is important. If you talk to each other, tell each other what you need then you will have a wonderful sex life together.

The preceding was and is important for if you are not comfortable, sex is always going to be painful for you will be tense. You are the one allowing someone, yes he is your husband and you love him, to penetrate your body with his penis. This is a natural act between lovers if they are comfortable with each other.

Let’s get you two comfortable with each other. First you are, when the time is right, going to need some extra lubrication at first. At least until your vagina learns to accommodate your husbands penis. A tube of K-Y Jelly will do.

I am thinking that foreplay may be missing or insufficient to relax you or get you excited. Foreplay is a very important part of sex. In fact it may be more intimate then intercourse itself as it allows both of you to explore the others body. To find out what stroking, nibbling and caresses on different parts of your bodies turns you on.

I am going to suggest that you go to bed with the intentions of not having sex but to learn about each others bodies. This will allow you to relax knowing he is not going to be penetrating or attempting to penetrate you. What this exercise does is allows you two to learn to be comfortable being naked with each other with the lights dimmed and to learn about each others needs.

You might start with making out like you may have when you dated. In this case you let your husband get under your clothes and to take them off and you get to take his off. You let his hands and mouth wonder all over your body. Nibble your ear, your neck, your breasts and suck on your nipples.

Let him work his way down to your sex and finger you. Oral sex is also very good. Show him where your clitoris is and how to gently stoke it and lick it. He can also work his way down your thighs and legs to your toes. While he is doing this talk to him tell him what feels good and does not feel good; if he is being too rough or to gentle. He is building a road map by which to please you.

You do the same to him. IF you two have never done oral sex to the other I suggest you try it. I know he will enjoy it and you will enjoy it as well when he does it to you as you both learn to enjoy each other.

When you are excited enough, and he will know by how wet you are, intercourse will or should be possible. The first time is painful if your Hymen is still intact and your vagina stretches for the first few times.

The pain does go away as you have sex more often. IF it doesn't then a trip to your Gynecologist may be in order. The key to good sex is you feeling comfortable, relaxed and safe in your surroundings.

Sex is a natural animal instinct with in us all. Good sex is something we learn to have with our partner and it takes time and trust in our partner.

What do I need to know about hep c? I thought my boyfriend had hep b, but I misheard him. :( What do I need to look out for? what do I even do?

If your boyfriend has hep c you need to see a doctor right away and be tested. The most common type of hep c does not respond well to drugs and there are few symptoms to tell you if you are infected. Hep c is most commonly found among IV drug users who share needles.

If you and your boyfriend are having sex; STOP. Even protected sex is dangerous as the infection can be passed through spittle when you kiss. In fact stay away from him.

See a doctor, tell the doctor you may have been exposed to hep c and how you might have been exposed. This is very important information for the doctor to know.

This disease affects the liver and can cause the liver to fail. You cannot live without your liver. If your liver fails because of this disease you would need a transplant. There are thousands of people waiting for transplants and their are not enough livers to go around.

Your only defense is early detection and treatment to hopefully prevent a worse case scenario. I told you in my last answer to your question how to see the doctor in medical confidentiality. If you were not able to invoke confidentiality which would be worse; your parents finding out you are no longer a virgin or that your are dying because you feared going to the doctor because they would find out you were sexually active?

My advice is see a doctor ASAP.

please someone tell me the easiest painless way to die.. i hate pain but i need to do this.

That is not what we do here. Why don't you tell me why you want to die and maybe I can help you live. You see that is what we do here, we help people with problems.

Myself, I am among the older set of advisors being in the grandfatherly age. In all my years, and I have seen the worst of the worst as a firefighter. There is nothing that can't be resolved. The biggest problem with any problem is being too close to it to see the solution as we get caught up in the problem itself.

Those of us here at advicenators bring a fresh perspective to any problem you might have. As I said many of us may be older and therefore may see a resolution you might not be aware of.

I have not seen a problem so large, so unyielding that the only solution is killing oneself. Why not tell me why you feel this is the only solution to your problem. I can assure there is a better solution than killing dyeing.

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