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Boys
There is a boy I really like so I asked him out to the dance and he said no because his family was going to whisler and he wasn't allowed, then I heard from one of my friends that he is going to the dance. My friend later that day told me he woulnd't go out with me because I was to FAT!!!!!
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Apparently this dance hasnt happened yahppet. So you won't know if its true that he is actually going to the dance until you go and see him there. Perhaps he isn't.
Then there's this fact: If he was going but didn't want to go with you for the reason that he thinks you're too fat, tell me how would a close friend of yours happen to know. That must be one helluva grapevine at your school if he said that and every student now knows. How do we know that "Your" so called friend was just assuming in their head why he might not want to go to a dance with you and based it on their actual opinion of you. It could be your friend thinks you're fat.
Either way, don't count on anything you hear passed down. Only trust what you hear from the original person. And then, take into account their age and their ability to be easily manipulated by the media or by their peers. The reason why so many teens are so criticizing of others and believe that guys aren't interested in girls who don't look like those portrayed in the media, is because the pre-frontal cortex of their brains hasn't developed fully yet and wont be complete until the mid 20's and I'll bet they're a long way off from being 25 or older.
The truth is, what a guy is attracted to a just a matter of personal preferance. Some don't like thin girls like me, I've seen them go for the heftier built girls because thats what attracted them. Some people prefer brunettes over redheads and blondes, maybe they are attracted to someone with an accent, maybe they like taller rather than shorter...these are personal tastes and don't make one thing preferable over another. As has been explained, teen boys are driven by their hormones and are pretty selfish, immature and make lots of mistakes that they wish they hadn't once they gain maturity with age. I have heard guys say they regret how many relationships they ruined or the girls they never dated but for most, there isn't a 2nd chance. So don't worry about the opinions of anyone your age, they really dont know any better and are the worst ones for you to give any weight to what they say.
The good aspect to this is that you learned something dear. Being attracted to someone by what you see on the outside and liking them does not mean that they are a nice person or have a good personality and morals on the inside. Remember this as you get older. If someone asks you out, spend time getting to know the person by hanging out with them, don't immediately decide to go to the status from dating and checking each other out to being in a relationship until you know he is worthy of being in a relationship with you.
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If all that is true, then he's kinda an idiot and I have no idea why you'd want to go out with him.
Boys your age are very shallow. Let me tell you that you should not be after a guy who is like that. Weight shouldn't be the deciding factor of whether you want to date somebody or not. That's stupid.
So I doubt you're actually fat. If you were overweight, then like adviceman said go see a doctor and they'll help you out and tell you what you need to do. Don't do this for a guy, do it for your health.
Anyways, wait to find a guy who actually cares about you as a person and likes everything about you rather than blowing you off because of appearance.
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I'm going to tell you something that I was told by people when I was in high school. Something that I ignored, because of course I knew better ;)
High school boys are not worth the time. They're dumb. They're kind of gross (seriously, wait till you're in your 20s) and just not that fantastic. There will be the occasional fantastic teenage boy, but for the most part they're just greasy hormone-driven idiots.
A lot of younger guys have weird ideas about the world and how it should be, especially when it comes to women. When they get older, a lot of them start to realize that the standards they held when they were younger are holding them back. I met my husband when I was overweight, and he's an attractive dude. Heck, you might not even be overweight, but in a culture obsessed with thigh gaps this boy just doesn't have his head screwed on right.
Don't hate yourself. The way I used to think about these rejections is that they're like a moron filter. If a guy is going to be that shallow and stupid, do you really want to waste your time trying to impress him? You're better off waiting for a nice guy who respects you for who you are.
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Unfortunately at your age, I am assuming you are talking about a high school dance, boys your age are all about appearance. They have not yet learned about the inner beauty of someone which is far more important than the outer appearance.
That being said being fat does not make someone ugly or unappealing. Boys want to date girls that look like the models and actresses they see in magazines and movies. In an older person this would be someone looking for a trophy date or trophy wife. Is it right, NO?
As a society we put a lot of value on being attractive especially women. The actresses and models the boys are looking for in date are actually underweight and doing harm to themselves. Fact is it is worse to be 10 pounds under weight than 10 pounds overweight.
Now you say you’re fat. Are you really fat? How old are you? IF you are a young teenager starting through puberty those extra pounds you may be carrying are need to help you transform into the woman you are meant to be. To call yourself fat I would say you would have to be over 10 pounds overweight. If this were the case your family doctor would be after you to lose weight.
Now if you are overweight you should lose weight, not because a boy says your fat. You lose weight because it is the right thing to do for yourself and your health. Now overeating is not the only reason for being overweight.
Before starting to diet you should have a complete physical. Ask your doctor to check your thyroid function. Thyroid function is a cause for someone to be overweight. If your thyroid is not functioning properly all the dieting in the world will not help you lose weight.
If there is no medical reason for you being overweight; then the best way to diet is through proper nutrition and exercise. Your doctor can recommend a nutritionist who will work with you on meal planning. You schools physical education teachers can help you with an exercise program.
Most importantly though is that you must want to lose weight. Without the desire you won't have the will power to lose weight. As for that young man; the heck with him he is too vain and not worth having you for his date.
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