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I'm married but no sex
Iam married for 9years. n I iam 29yers old female. n my husband doesn't likes sex atall.... I evn trying giving divorce but he doesn't wants to giv divorce... coz he loves me like crazzy and I dnt love him at all.... n I love his brother dat is my brother in law but my brother in law doesn't evn looks at me so guys can you plz help me tell me what can I do m going crazzy plz help me
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Adviceman49 did a great job covering many possible reasons for your husband not liking sex at all. However I can think of one more, sexual orientation or lack of.
My first thought is Asexuality which I have a link from Wikipedia explaining. I tend to lean in this direction because you say he has a great deep love for you which is possible with asexual individuals but they can at the same time lack sexual desire, not get aroused sexually at all, have no interest in it even if they try.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
But then again, there are people with other sexual orientations who have not admitted it to themselves or if they know, are attempting to deny it by trying to fit the pattern of what they consider to be the norm of the majority in society, a heterosexual man with a heterosexual woman.
What if he is a gay man who loves you deeply as a person, as a best friend, but has no interest in sex with you at all simply because he is not attracted to females, and he is in denial and detests the fact that he is attracted to men instead and hangs in limbo, dragging you along with just because he cant come to grips with his own sexual orientation.
Then again, there's the transgender individuals. He may have the male body but be a female on the inside, feeling he's in the wrong body and so its not a problem with not desiring sex, he just is choosing to not have sex with a female when he feels he is a female.
You are not going to know which of the situations are the issue unless you have a good talk with him and get him in to see a doctor regarding any possible medical conditions as root cause.
If he isn't willing to address the issue and hopes you'll be content to go along like this til the day you die, that is a very unfair attitude to have of the person you love so much. Sometimes, loving someone means letting them have what is best for them, and sometimes that means letting them go. You're still young. You havent mention children, whether there are any or you want any. That is another topic that comes into play. Also, you must have initially loved him to marry him but without the sexual bond, it is easy to lose interest and desire for your partner. Since you are as far as we know a perfectly normal healthy female who has not had her sexual needs taken care of, it is no wonder that you will look at any halfway attractive man you come into contact with, and be sexually attracted to him, such as with your brother in law. Please note that attraction and love are two very different things but both are strong feelings.
First, you deserve to have a partner who is your sexual equal and likes sex in the same ways and as often as you do. Just because you've been deprived, you might have a tendancy to latch onto the next man who comes along who agrees to give you sex. Don't sell yourself short and go for a sexual affair. You deserve a husband who loves you and one of his ways of showing it is in love making. If thats what a person wants, then there is no reason why they can have it. So talk to him. If he won't give a divorce, you can ask an attorney your options. Perhaps a separation.
I can't advice you in legal matters. But I do know that many for lack of money do not have legal divorces and are now living with new partners. Someone close to me is in that situation and as far as I am concerned her real husband is the man she's with who treats as a good husband would. The decision is up to you dear. Even if he wants to find a way to keep you which is pretty selfish, there's nothing to stop you from leaving him, whether legally or otherwise.
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There are several reasons a man would not want to have sex. One would be he is on some medication, such as blood pressure medication, that makes it impossible for him to get an erection. If so tell his doctor and the doctor most likely would prescribe something like Viagra.
The other reason is also a medical reason for which his doctor can help. It is called low "T" or ;low Testosterone level. This is something his doctor can check for and generally easily fixed.
If it is neither of these or any other medical reason then it is possible yours is a show marriage and he gets his sexual relief in other ways. IF this is so you do not need his permission to get a divorce you can see a lawyer and file for one on your own. Is see not reason, from what you have written, why a judge would not grant you a divorce.
If you two have never had sex then you have never consummated your marriage. If that is so you can even file for an annulment with your church.
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