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Lonely but unsure how to trust people...
I have friends, but I'm not really close to anyone. I also have problems trusting people enough to have a significant relationship, especially guys. I guess part of it is that I have seen my parents get divorced three times and I just have this fear that once I trust someone enough to love them, they'll go away. It's happened all my life. Anyway, the result is that I'm nice to everyone, close to no one, and pretty lonely because I kind of emotionally isolate myself.
How do I get over my fears and trust people?
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I understand what you have written and given your life experience to date I believe what is happening to you is understandable. It being understandable and being fair to you are not the same. In fact it is hurtful and you are not to blame for how and where you find yourself at this time.
The quickest way I know of to get your life back is with the help of a professional counselor; such as a psychologist. Deep in your sub-conscious you have built a protective wall based on your live experiences. You have so much as said so when you wrote; "I guess part of it is that I have seen my parents get divorced three times and I just have this fear that once I trust someone enough to love them, they'll go away."
This wall took you a long time to build and it will take time to tear down. It will be made easier to do with the help of a professional to guide you. When you work with a psychologist he or she, whoever you are more comfortable with, becomes your new best friend. The person you can tell your deepest and darkest secrets to knowing they will never be told to anyone else for everything you say in therapy is confidential.
You built this wall for a reason probably more than the reason you are giving. Once that reason is revealed the psychologist can help you deal with it in a manner that is less hurtful. Once properly dealt with you can learn to trust people again. Not everyone is untrustworthy. There are far more people deserving of being trusted than those who should not be trusted. You need to learn who to trust and how to trust again. It will take time but it will be worth it.
You haven't given your age. If you’re working your EAP program will cover the first few visits to the psychologist as well as help you find one you are comfortable with. IF you are in school then a parents EAP program will do the same for you and them their health insurance will kick in. If you are in college go to the health center and ask for help.
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you are afraid of being left bcoz of your experiences yet you are also afraid of loving and trusting someone.
It's because of your experiences you're being introvert. You are lonely bcoz you won't let yourself go beyond your limits. The thing that I meant is that letting go of your bad experiences. Get over from your past. Don't let yourself be hidden in the dark shadow of your side. Forget them and open your heart for trusting people and loving people. i know that it's not easy to do it bcoz i know I also experienced your part.
Start from a very easy thing. Try to trust yourself and love yourself. In that way, you can feel self confidence and you can stretch further from yourself you used to be. 2nd is you need to love and express it, by that way you can be able to feel safe and achieve happiness from oneself.
i hope this would help
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