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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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Can you get a girl pregnant by cumings in there mouth.
Everyones given you great advice and answers. What I would like to address is the issue of your not have this very simple basic knowledge. I am not calling you dumb or anything, you are just one of many a 'teen' (i presume) who did not have the advantage today that I had when that age in HS of Sex education. Too many parents freeze up or cant talk freely of sexual things without embarrassment or kids too embarrassed to ask their parents so it fell to schools to offer the basics to everyone. So as a teen, I already know the answer.
Sadly, you are in the same boat now as others in your generation, you can't expect someone to volunteer to teach you all you need to know. You need to go after the knowledge on your own. I do want to commend you for coming here to ask this question. But there may be other questions that need to be asked that you may not realized are an issue until long after there is a problem. So its behooves you to gain good knowledge any way you can. I know of a girl who in her teens realized that her generation had no knowledge of the basics let alone the complications of gender identity and sexual preference issues. So she researched, and self taught herself so she could offer the info on line in a blog to others. I have watched almost every one of her videos. I am grandma age and even i learned something in a video of the newest info out there on new period products available to females for example. She is very entertaining and she videos very short so you dont lose attention span and packed with real info, rarely her personal opinions, just true facts. The name is Laci Green and here is a link to her utube page. You might check out your local library for info on the sex organs of both male and female. I have come across great videos on the subject done by Univ. in Oregon that i found helpful. If you want those as well, let me know. But i highly recommend you become proactive as to learning about anatomy and the sexual abilities, about STDs and symptoms and how can be contracted, about how a woman can and cant become pregent, about condom use and birth control and lastly the fun part of how to please a female partner and bring her to orgasm...but the basics first.
https://www.youtube.com/user/lacigreen
There's this guy I hung out with a few times and we got a little intimate and I've been starting to have feelings for him, even though I don't know him very well. We haven't really talked in a few days and it doesn't seem like he's necessarily coming after me so I'm not sure if he feels the same way I do. This is just such an awful feeling--not knowing how he feels and having doubts about whether he wants me or not, missing him when I'm not around him, just wondering when the next time we'll hang out is. By normal standards it doesn't seem like he's dying to see me, but I can't just expect someone to feel exactly the same way I do right? I am just so emotional and sad and anxious all at once and it feels horrible!
I'll start with this question: I can't just expect someone to feel exactly the same way I do right? And my answer is right, you can't expect a guy to feel the same as you do. Its way different how guys feel about sex, dating and love than what girls feel and that's why you can't expect it to be the same. Let me explain.
This is an excerpt from a book I just finished reading by Linda Papadopoulos "What Men Say, What Women Hear"
"SEX: Women want to experience a certain emotional closeness before sex, while men view sex as a route to this closeness. Woman regard sex as both an accompaniment to a strong relationship and a method of securing that relationship in the first place. For men, its a physical act that can lead to an emotional bond but they often seek sex just for the sake of sex. For women, the emotional bond is tied into the physical act so they have difficulty seeing the two separately and thus have the hard time with still feeling love for a guy who mistreats them or broke up with them.
One Night Stands: involves maximum excitement and minimum commitment. Men are more interested in them than women because they are better at separating sex and emotion than women are. Therefore after a one-nighter with a guy the female is left wondering what their encounter meant or where it will go from here, believing there must be more to it than just sex at the spur of the moment. Men are more prone when seeing a good looking women, to feel lust. On other hand women spotting a model type guy generally think, he's hot but aren't necessarily thinking sex."
If a guy is very interested beyond the sex level, for an actual relationship, then he will go after the girl and not leave her hanging. She'll know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is interested, especially if she knows what to look for. This is why I am going to recommend that you check your local library for this book, its where I found mine, or ask for it at your local bookstore. If not on the shelf, a store can order it for you and you don't have to pay for shipping.
After a divorce in my late forties, I was single and wanting to at least find a dating partner and sex partner if not a new long term relationship like a marriage partner. I was wiser and more self confident by now. So I put up a very descriptive dating site. Made it clear to the guys right up front, at the first time meeting face to face, what it was I was looking for, what my boundaries were and asked what his was. If I wasn't even attracted enough to potentially have sex if he didnt meet some minimum requirements I had on a list that they also were told up front and was in the profile, then they knew if I was someone they were still interested in or if they didn't like to fall in line with what I was asking of a dating partner, then they could just walk away. Yes, I let some really good lookers just walk away cus other than appearance, who they were on the inside wasn't what I was looking for. You would think that with more females birthed than males, that each male could have 3 wives or girlfriends if all involved wanted and it was okay law wise. But the fact is, there are so many males who are single. They are just as clueless as a female as to what it takes to dance the compromise to be in a relationship, how to understand the differences and despite that, find a way that both can still get what they want out of a relationship, and also be willing to give in a relationship. I did not act desperate for a guy just because he took me out once. So if you do otherwise, you come across as desperate and that puts you in a precarious position, where the men who like to get away with things will seek out a female like you and its not for a loving relationship like you are wanting. You can't expect a guy to really miss you until he's fallen in love with you. Theres a difference between loving some things about you like your laugh, your body, your thirst for adventure, a nurturing spirit, that sort of thing. And a guy could say he 'loves you' but when push comes to shove, he's still thinking of himself first and your needs last as he is not 'in-love' with you. I found that out with my ex. He finally admitted to a counselor that he had never been in love with me, just loved me for being the mother of his children??? Well that explained alot about his behavior. I hope you dont have to get to your late forties to learn what I did dear. Most people won't listen to advice and rather go the school of hard knocks and still not have gotten anywhere. Stop focusing on the guy. WOrk on yourself right now. It doesnt take long to change who you are and have more success at finding and keeping the right man for you. But you have to be able to understand men better as I do and already did before reading Linda's book. Read it and any others that teach about relationships from a Drs or psychologists view where there are some really helpful info, not just some author trying to sell a book. Work on your self confidence, books or videos on that too. You may believe you are confident and may be in many areas of life but at one point, I realized I wasn't confident enough in myself, with just how I looked and my personality that it would be enough to attract the right guy. If thats an issue as well, let me know and i can share a few things more on that specifically. Good luck dear.
i and my guy were sleeping nude day before yest.i gave him a blowjob and he fingered me. there was a gap of 1-2 mins or so between both the things. and his hand felt dry to me. al this hapened aftr my periods gt ovr. i hd a normal 6 days period and on the 8th day this happened. so if he had sperms on his hand by any chance then is there a possibility of me being pregnant? im having fever from yst. and my cycle usually is 32 days. sometimes even more than that. am i pregnant? please. im really scared. also his penis was near my vagina.. like 6cms away from my vagina. his penis touched my inner thighs and not vagina.
You mentioned fever and illness is one of the things that will delay a period. The second main cause of delayed periods is stress. In girls, often the stress is worry about possibly being pregnant. As you know, other than use of condom when having intercourse (penis in vagina sex) there is a lot of time when precum or an ejaculation of his is not going to be in a condom.
Luckily, sperm does not last long outside a wet moist environment like the inside of his body or yours. It takes lots of fluid for the sperm to swim or travel in to get anywhere. So if your hand or his was dry and had none of his wet cum on it, then it wasn't transferred quick enough to your vagina. Also, any on your thigh isn't close enough for it to travel to get safely inside you. Only if he had precum on his tip or wet cum all over his penis when it probed at your lips or entrance is there a slight change of a viable sperm making it in. Its too early to test for pregnancy, but just for peace of mind, or in case you may have forgotten parts of what happened and he may have been lots closer to your entrance than you remember, if its 2 days ago, you can still take the Morning after pill, or emergency contraception available at drugstores, Just ask pharmacist. No prescription needed. But you;d want to take it immediately, today. And then you don't have to worry. For the future, its best that you go to your doctor or even Planned parenthood for birth control. Make sure to get proper instruction and really pay attention as to to how to use properly as any deviation from what your instructed, you may just still get pregnant. For example, some are not effective immediately like the pill which needs to build up in your system. SO if you took your first pill and had sex the next day, you very well may become pregnant if its during your fertile time when you're ovulating. I recommend getting some of kind of birth control and staying on it, no matter your relationship status, like with a boyfriend, in between boyfriends, cus you never know when you might meet someone and want to go for it that same day.
so I'm an introvert who's dating an extrovert. I'm also a bit of a loner, but when I hear about him talking about all his friends and it depresses me since I never experience friendships like hanging out and talking all the time. If it wasn't for him, I would be perfectly okay with only having my online friend to talk to. But I feel like I'm the unproductive one in this relationship. But I don't like hanging out and I barely like talking to people, though I hate being the one who doesn't do anything. But I love being a loner; I love all my time spent with just me, but... It's so hard to explain. Sometimes I just wish I had never dated him and had met an introvert (and loner) who understands. But how can I be truly happy being an introvert and loner while dating an extrovert?
Obviously, he saw something in you that he liked and attracted him that has nothing to do with your introverted state. I do have a few things to toss out there so we can clarify that it is indeed 'introvertism' we're talking about here or whether it may be something else. Heres the definition of introvert:
Definition:
One central dimension of personality is introversion versus extroversion. An introvert is a person who draws energy from time spent alone. Introverts find social situations draining and need time alone to recharge after being around people. They tend to be introspective and like to explore thoughts and feelings. They may prefer to talk about concepts and ideas rather than making small talk.
Introverts usually like to work behind the scenes, prefer written to verbal communication and express themselves only after careful thought. Introverts make up 25% to 40% of the population. Introversion is not the same as shyness or social anxiety; being an introvert does not mean that you are necessarily shy or socially anxious.
I got that piece online. Note at the end the mention of shyness or social anxiety. That was my problem in the past but I called myself an introvert and yet that was not what was going on with me.
See, if its social anxieties, you can be healed of that so you can do well in groups of people and actually enjoy it, but still balance your time to have lots of alone time. I still have alone time which I like alot but I also realized after getting over shyness that I really do like my doses of being social too.
There are known personality types who prefer to be mostly loners or have very few friends. Having to navigate in a world filled with humans, its best to learn how to get along with, but be able to communicate to others that you aren't much of a social person, nothing against them personally. So you do have to learn how to communicate and interact effectively to some point if you aren't already.
As to two different people dating...if its shyness, that can be overcome with self help books or seeing a counselor. And a relationship can still work out and you both love each other enough to make some compromises and not resent it.
However, a person who is really in love with you, will want to go places to show off the woman he loves, that he's so proud to be with...yes some guys do...like my husband even if its just running errands together. But especially a party where couples are meant to be. If he's very social and ends up feeling torn between wanting to stay home with you or going to see friends, it can eventually grow old. If you don't choose and pick just a few events or gatherings to go with him to, then he can grow to resent you, realize he's unhappy and then leave you. Or you end up resenting his trying to beg you and take you out away from home so you leave him. You are the only one who knows yourself best. So this is your decision to make. HOw flexible are you? Is there some shyness involved too? Do you really want to live a life without having a mate or significant other and never having children? These are some things to ask your self. I think its possible to have someone more outgoing than yourself as I had with my first husband and the two change in personalities to come to a meeting ground they are both happy and comfortable with in the middle. But whether you both can do it, I dont know. But you at least owe him a heart to heart talk about how you are feeling and your concerns. If he's still willing to go for it, then give him the chance, he may be able to adjust without chaning himself that much, or you might find you have some room to adjust without feelings you've given up some parts of being introverted.
When I met my husband 3 years ago he was obsessed with fitness and his body. Well now he is not at all and he has lost all his definition and has put on 20 pounds. He hates the way he looks and won't even take pictures because he knows he isn't in shape. But he doesn't even try to lose weight. He ordered 2 large pizzas yesterday and said one was for me. Well that was yesterday at 9:30 pm and today at 10pm (25 hours) he ate both pizzas. He gets up atleast twice at night just to eat and normally it is peanut butter on some sort of chip or cracker. So I have been calling him out on it because I want my sexy husband back and he told me to mind my own business. What do I do? I love my husband but I don't want him to be fat. So lost?
Just another vote for him seeing a doctor. My first impression is much the same as Adviceman. Depression will either cause a person to overeat to feed their unhappiness or a person can lose the appetite to eat and lose too much weight as a daughter of mine did after a boyfriend left her and she became depressed. The thing about depression or anxieties is that they usually start with distorted/negative thinking and these thoughts are what our emotions feed on, our emotions are stored in our subconscious mind which then causes us to take actions or inaction to support those bad depressing feelings. Being this is going on in the subconscious, he may not even be aware consciously that he has a problem buried somewhere that triggered this change in him. So he may not believe you or feel a need to go see a Dr. But I can assure you that its the only way to go. Now many may not want to see a mental health specialist because of all the stories they hear of people (the vast majority) who are not helped or see no improvement. Only a small percentage actually require medication intervention and improve with it but for the rest the answer lies with what type of psychologist you go to see. The ones trained in CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy are able to help people to help and heal themselves, but the person seeking help must be an active participant. To find such a Dr. in your area, I suggest writing in to a website of just such a Dr. who's written books ford people to read, self help books. I have read them and can tell you its much more complimented and takes someone like a professional to slowly try one after another of the exercises, after pin pointing the actual problem to get relief. This doesnt involve medication unless everything else fails which usually doesnt. And its months or handful of visits compared to on going therapy visits for years or life.
If you think it may help him to believe you, you can show him this website I'll give you. Good luck dear.
http://feelinggood.com/
Okay, so I know it was stupid for me to even be talking to this guy on Kik. I know it's dangerous to talk to people you don't know but here is my situation.
I was talking with this guy on kik for awhile (maybe close to a year)I was 18 when I started talking to him and now I'm 19.
I never sent him any picutes or anything like that. Actually I even gave him a complete fake name and I also lied about what my race was because when I started talking to him I thought I'd rather be safe and not give my real information out this guy.
I didn't want to talk to him anymore because I just kind of had enough. I came to realize he has anger issues and would get angry over stupid stuff and just seemed controlling. We did have conversations that were not the most appropriate but I never sent him anything myself. All he ever got were texts on kik.
Well I started to not respond much and he got annoyed and said "just block me" and whatever so I did...then he messaged me with a new account telling me to unblock him because he wanted to talk to me. I didn't say I would or not I just responded back with "well you are the one that told me to block you" and he said "just do what I tell you" well I didn't. I just ignored it.
Then he messages me more saying he is going to track me down and that he is going to track my IP address and that he has all the information he needs to find me and that he won't give up. Said he is looking for me and will find me and he's angry.
He is 29 and lives in a different country.
I want to know if he can actually track me down. He knows what city I live in but I lied about my name and race and never sent him any pictures. I have described to him what I look like though and my username for kik isn't something I use for anything else
I just want to know if it's possible for him to find me and how likely it is that he could find me because I'm a little worried about it.
Hon, this isn't something I know much about. I do believe its possible to get lots of information on a person by their ip address. How much, is the question.
I suggest you send this same question to Dangernerd. He's the creator of this advice column and you can find him by going to 'browse advice columnists, choosing letter D. He's listed right beneath me. He's the computer whiz.
If I remember correctly, we've had trouble on the site from some in the past who wrote in to harass a particular columnist and I think he provided the police with the guys IP address.
All this guys info could be fake too. He may not reside in another country. Take would be expensive for a unstable nutcase of a person to make a trip simply to take revenge on you. But he may reside in your country and near enough to actually follow through on his treats. Since you dont know whether he's a mental case just blowing air or whether he's capable of carrying it out, you probably will need to let the police know, but I'd get instructions from Dangernerd first. So it right away, dont let any time go by. Make sure your family know about this too. You may have a family member good with computer technology and able to do the steps needed to help keep you safe.
Okay so I've had the biggest crush on this girl for almost a year. She is so cute and perfect. I haven't told her anything because first of all, I don't think she's into girls. She's 3 years younger than me and I know it would not work out. I guess I have just held on to the little hope that she might be into me too because there had been occasions where she would blush when we would talk. Or when she asked me if I had a boyfriend randomly. Or when she would try to hang with me as much as possible but then again, maybe it was all in my head that maybe a wonderful girl like her would like me back. Anyway, I need to get over her. I just don't know how. I don't go to the same school as her anymore but I still have her on social media. I'm constantly checking up on her (not In a creepy way, maybe a little, kidding.) I think it's time for me to move on. I'm just hurting myself over and over again. She probably has no idea that I have a huge crush on her. It's kind of pathetic, I know. So any advice on how to get over someone that I never even dated? Thank you.
I don't understand your reasoning for getting over her. Maybe you're over 18 and she's under and you're worried about the sex with minors law? Other than that, I see no reason why you can't let her know. How many clues from her do you need before you feel confident to proceed??? You listed quite a few, she'd blush around you, asked if you had a boyfriend to discover if you were single or not, and try to be near you as much as possible.
Hon, those are the very same things a boy and girl do to each other if interested. You smile and stare at each other a lot and if caught doing so, may blush, find ways to see if you're in a relationship or available and those attracted to someone, will subconsciously find ways to be near the person they crush on cus it feels so good plus you hope that they will notice you and pay favorable attention back. I think you are asking the wrong question here. Maybe you need to ask yourself why as a girl, you should not go after a girl to date. Do you come from a religious or bigoted family where you were taught only heterosexuality is okay and everything else evil? Even if you feel you dont buy that...those old programs may be still running inside you on a subconscious level even though Thats one reason, and there could be others like lack of self confidence, fear of rejection and so on. You tell us what your real issue is within you to fight this attraction and perhaps we can actually help you then.
Okay well I guess my topic is self explanatory. I am confused on my sexuality. I am a 19 year old girl and it seems like everyone around me knows their sexuality. It frustrates me that I still haven't figured it out yet. I have liked boys my whole life or at least I thought so until I met this girl who I completely fell for when I was 17. The feelings were more intense for this girl. Nothing I had ever felt for a boy before. Now I am currently in deep like with this other girl. It seems like my feelings for girls seem to intensify and as far as boys it's more of a "oh he's kinda cute" type of deal. I was wondering if you can give me advice on how I can find out who I am? I'm just so confused and I wish I knew so I could try the dating life, but I want to figure myself out first before I do so. Any suggestions? Thanks
I will start with your commet: I wish I knew so I could try the dating life, but I want to figure myself out first before I do so.
Noe it may seem like sound reasoning initially to you and others, but let me share a comparison to make this clearer for you.
Lets say you lived in a remote place in the world your whole life where no such thing as icecream existed. Then you come to the U.S. and are bombarded by the knowledge of existence of so many different flavors. Its so much to choose from and you're afraid of trying one and not liking it, so you want to figure out first which one is your favorite by just watching others eat icecream, read about the newest flavors available, etc.
The gist of the story is that if you aren't opeto do so, you are not going to figure out what your sexuality is. Some people like myself and my daughters, all went thru HS without ever having sex, not wanting it with the child males available. And it took a year or two before any of us had an opportunity of someone mutually interested in us to even begin to explore that. Heck, some people marry and have kids but always have a question in the back of their minds whether they might be bi. There are people labeled bi-curious for a reason. An opportunity never came along to find out until sometime much later in life like 30's 40's. I was at a large home party for 4th of July once when a gal came out to the pool to announce that a bunch of ladies were going to gather to try out sex with girls with a few who were bi. I declined as I'd had an opportuity already with a friend. Was sure I wasn't, and doing it proved to both me and my friend that we just weren't attracted sexually but anyone can go through the moves and have sex. Once in life much later I met a female friend of a friend who needed her dog watched while she went on a business trip. She came back deciding to move out of state so I never had a chance to check out if she might develop feelings for me that way. The one time only in life I've felt that. I do not call myself, bi or gay, I'm hetero. However, I think I understand the fluid gender thing. I believe that some souls who live previous lives as both males and females can have an equal time of feeling like both. I embrace my femininity however sometimes, during sex, my husband and I feel inside like we are the opposite sex . This didn't occur for me until my early 50s. I just share this, to tell you that what you learn and how you may change or add in things sexually is actually quite normal to occur over the span of a lifetime as long as you are sexually active that long.
Stop waiting to figure it out first, that's not the way to go. Experience it first. Take precautions tho. Make sure to be on birth control, use condoms by the male to prevent STD's, but STD's can still be caught in other sex play so best is to choose partners carefully, make sure they have proof from a clinic that they are disease free and do the same for yourself to prove to other potential partners.
I have two friends named jasmine and Jasmyn. They are both really good friends of mine and the both moved but I still keep in touch. I live in Lexington Kentucky, they did too until jasmine moved to Cincinnati and Jasmyn moved to Tennessee. I like them both and I wanna ask them out butim afraid of rejection and that they have a a new life and I'm not a part of it. Plz help.
First concern would be, are you able to travel to where either of them have moved to, in order to date them if they said yes. If not, it's best not to ask them and wait until there is someone local in your area to ask that you grow to have an interest in. Even if you could see each other occasionally in person, the majority of the relationship will be long distance and that is very hard on a relationship. Makes it hard to really get to know or even to trust ones partner. Also, you miss out on having someone near enough to hold hands and kiss with often so sometimes the biggest threat is that either the girl or the boy finds someone local who catches their interest and they start dating in real life while trying to keep in contact with the LDR or they drop the LDR.
Biggest issue though is getting over the fear of rejection. When someone rejects a person, most often, its not personal, they just don't feel a return attraction to you which is important for the romance and chemistry part. They may like certain personality types which you dont possess. You cant be the perfect catch for every girl on the planet, thats life. We all have our own personal preferances in many things, even foods, music, clothing so a preferance in a dating partner is just as valid. Perhaps a really young person, before HS may be too picky, not liking someone or basing judgement on whether how they look, style their hair, clothes they wear, where they live, or the group they are part of, the nerd group instead of the popular group. Those kinds of criteria mean lots of good opportunities lost, lots of good people never met. But some people when young can be shallow like that. It means theyre pretty immature yet, are not based in reality yet/the real world, and most likely would make a very poor date if they are so shallow to begin with so nothings really lost if they say no for such reasons. Just remember to not take personally. I might venture to share links to dating advice but would need to know if you are female or male and your age. Theres a set of tips for teens just starting out and its a bit different for those college age and older. So if you want to know more...let me know those things and what you'd like to learn about.
I have been with my boyfriend for two years, and up until a year ago everything was great, I nightstart out with our biggest issues we have in our relationship. my boyfure/d relocated with my to my home state of Indiana from nc and he hATES it here but I can't move back to nc because I have a crazy baby daddy that is obsessed with me, not our child, but me. anyways he was angry at me for a while because I didn't want to move back and along with that he had a really bad drinking problem it got so bad when we moved that I rarely saw him sober he was turning mean and constantly aiming to hurt my feelings so I told him to quit drinking or leave. he has been sober for three months now. we've been in countless arguments about his drinking and where we live and this and that, I've told him look I love you but if you want to go home that bad then go, I won't hold it against you, but he refuses to go. he stays. but I'd say over the past year he's becomes very disconnected, he's never been a real emotional person but now unless I initiate any romantic gestures (kisses hugs cuddling) he doesn't bother, and when I do initiate it he stiffness up like I'm bothering him. we hardly even have sex anymore, and when we do it's robotic, no foreplay, no passion just reproductive sex. I feel very alone and unwanted and do I everything I can to let him know I'm there for him and that I love/him but I dont get it in return, he swares he feels the same about me but I dont see it, he k/ow how he is making me feel but just shrugs it off and changes the subject, I don't know what to do, what's changed or why, I've tried to talk about it a bunch but he just says nothing is wrong.
So my first guess is that he is holding resentments against you and that is why how he feels about you has changed. For the life of me, I can't see why he is staying if you gave him permission to leave. The only reason a person has for acting like he is, is due to distorted thinking. We all do this to some extent, negative thoughts too but for many its not a crippling thing in our lives or doesnt affect others. In his case, I'd say he is having troubles with his cognitive abilities as far as thoughts and thereby actionss he takes or doesnt take, and so on. Not saying its mental illness. As I said, all people do this, just not so overtly. Blaming you for his being in a place he doesnt like is not your fault but his. It is also his decision so far to stay, not return yet he punishes you maybe even subconsciously, not with his conscious mind and on purpose, but he feels bad and wants you to feel bad too. Or it may be that he doesnt feel much self confidence and doesnt think he can find another girl ever after you so his thinking is to cling on to you or he acts needy in hopes of getting his own way. With negative thoughts, a person tends to imagine a very rigid narrow outcome of how they day or life should go and when it doesnt, cus life is unpredictable and we all need to be flexible therefore, he became miserable. My ex husband was like this. If a day went by that didn't turn out as he expected it should, he let out all his anger and frustration on me with verbal abuse when I had nothing to do with it. I hung in 30 yrs before I left him. Hon, you can't imagine the kind of stress that such a situation builds up in you over time and the stress has to go somewhere so it comes out mentally, emotionally as depression or it causes health problems. I suffered many of stress related issues, headaches, migraines, stomach ulcers and total body itchy rashes that would come and go for a couple things. Cancer and heart attack a couple major stress caused ones I wanted to avoid so I finally left before those could happen too. You really aren't getting anything much out of this relationship and its not going to improve unless he meets with a counselor who teaches people how to improve their thought life and thereby their life via the CBT methods, cognitive behavioral therapy. He doesn't sound that bad off right now just by this one situation, but people who exhibit a problem in one area of their life never strictly have issues in just one area only. But maybe you are a better judge of whether he has more issues. It might come down to you having to leave him if he doesnt have the strength to leave you. Even if a counselor did work with him and he improved...he may come to realize that he still doesnt want to be with you and actually leaves, rather than realizing how unfairly he treated you and you all settle in to become a happy little family. That possibily is there but due to circumstance right not is not a big possibility. Have a talk with him and see if you can get him to reveal whats really bothering him and see if he feels any resentment towards you for not moving back. I think you made a good decision to get far away from that obsessive crazy guy. So I understand why you wont move back. You have good reason.Good luck dear.
(Sorry, not sure which category this would fit into.)
I'm a 16 y/o (born) female.
So.. Yesterday on my 16th birthday, I decided to come out 100% to everyone in my family. Everything went well, but for the longest time, I've had problems about deciding what my sexual orientation.
So for now, I'm settling as bisexual. But bisexuality isn't just 50/50. I'm more of 80/20. Girls being the 80. I am staying at genderfluid.
I want top surgery because I want my breasts gone, BU I don't exactly have 10k lying around. I prefer she/Her pronouns, and I always go by my birth name, even though on my more masculine days, I would prefer Spencer.
So.. my problem is..
I can see myself dating a guy, but that's it. I can't picture myself having sexual relations, or settling down and having kids. I can however, see myself with a girlfriend, a wife, and I CAN see myself adopting kids and having a family with a woman.
I want my breasts gone, and I want to cut my hair.
I do not have a problem with having a vagina. I wouldn't want a penis.
(I don't ever plan to have kid through a sperm bank.) -I have a genetic disability that I do not want to pass down.-
So, would that make me trans, or not trans enough??
I'm considering asking my mom to let me take "T". (Testosterone.)
I'm just stuck wondering.
First thing to do would be to have a talk with a professional who handles this sort of thing, anything to do with hormone therapy and appearance change for those who are transgender. There are those who can give better counsel having heard lots of the same from many children and teens and even adults by now. I have watched enough videos on you tube of people who are transgender, or fluid gender or some combo to understand that while it is awkward and difficult to be your age, that coming to any final decision is a long process. I'm thankful to hear your family is receptive to this. Your might also want to check online for a support site for those who are LGBT or any site specific to transgender or fluidgender people. On one of the latter you might find those a mix of both if you post your situation. Its always helpful to hear of the processes of those who've gone thru this before you as they may have helpful info to pass on you may not have thought of yet. In the meanwhile, you might take to binding your breasts and cutting your hair short before making the kind of changes that you can't switch later. Its unlikely you'd regret it but its best to talk to others in your shoes and also to professionals first. Good luck.
So I have a twin sister and she is alot quieter and less assertive shall we say than I am.
Recently I've got into a habit (all be it a bad one) of logging into her facebook account-she doesn't know but I know her password.
I only did it one day because i noticed she was messaged unusually alot of people. Then today I discovered something bad. A flatmate she lives with sent her a message (looked sarcastic) with a link to really posh make up brushes (£130 each) saying she would want one and the other flat mate wants two.
The message was littered with kisses and before it, it was like 'we've got a present for you sexy'.
Now as far as I know my sister works during the day so doesn't even see much of her housemates (only been living together for a month)
My sister DOES have an issue with make-up, she doesn't tend to blend it very well which is why I thought perhaps these girls are sending her a nasty message in reference to that.
I don't know what to do. I care about her a lot but what if she takes it badly because I've been reading her Facebook messages?
Thanks for any advice
My question is, whether your sister has said anything to you about people harassing or bullying her on line or in person? I can understand caring about a sister and wanting to protect and help her, but unless she's asked for help, you can't help. Having flatmates, I assume you're adults and on your own now. What I would like to say and point out is that the only reason you are writing here in concern is because you went looking at her private facebook account so what isn't posted for everyone to see if you have her as a facebook friend, is then private info. If what you saw was posted where everyone in the world could see, just by being her facebook friend, then thats common information. You say you've gotten into a bad habit, a habit isn't something a person does once. A habit doesnt form until a certain action has been repeated several times. So either you meant to use another word, or you have actually been checking her private on line places way more than once. Either way, thats invasion of someones privacy and it being a family member doesnt grant someone special privileges, even if she could use the help. Now if you were her legal guardian and she was mentally challendged, not able to totally function on her own as an adult with Dr.s evaluation, then yes, you have every right to be checking up on things for her and looking out for her welfare. Unless you failed to put that in your message, I believe its not the case. So you find yourself having information now that you shouldn't have, Right now your only worry is concerning makeup and perhaps people trying to sell her stuff that wont help but she is gullible, meaning too trusting and easily will believe anything someone says. Many people are like that but learn to be cautious after being burned a couple times. I think due to her being your twin, you are prone to attempt to be more involved in her life, goings on, and decisions than you should be. As a Mom, I do now snoop into my 3 adult daughters lives. Theres lots I could have advised and given better info on if I had known they were thinking of trying or doing something or had a medical issue but I can't know unless they choose to tell me which is always after the fact, after theres a big problem. So I know how you may feel. Its your decision whether to tell her you have logged into her account or not. And to apologize and promise not to do so again. Put yourself in her shoes. Lets say she or Mom or another family member owns up to having logged in to your private accounts for some time now...how would you feel. Not very good and probably a stronger emotion than that and you'd have a right to feel that way. well, so does your sister. If you tell her and what you saw that you are concerned about, likely her response will be to mind your own business rather than say, "Thankyou sister. I am so glad you've been worried enough about my welfare that you snooped on my facebook and inadvertently found some things that got the alarms going off for you and you being kind enough to alert me to potential problems there." Its very unlikely any person in the world would react that way. No one likes their privacy invaded for one. Second, no adult likes being told what to do by another adult, or warned of things they arent doing right or may be about to do wrong. We have to for our jobs fall into that position but the rest of our life, we want to make our own decisions. And third, most adults learn what not to do due to going thru bad things...called the school of hard knocks and do not learn from simply reading about or hearing warnings from others. You also may be jumping to conclusions about what you read, so you may have a lot of apologizing and she may not get over her anger for quite some time. Remember, I understand you did what you did out of a loving caring heart. Its just what you reasoned to be an okay reason for doing so, and what you actually did that was wrong. Everyone does mess up like that at least once in life so you're not alone. Learn from it dear.
I am about to start my fashion blog, and I would appreciate some tips how to get more readers. I would also like to improve my article writing skills a little bit.
I know that a lot of people have used a facebook page to advertise their blogs or other facebook pages. Its the fastest way I know. Heres example: My daughter just wanted a facebook page dedicated just to her cat and also posts many things helpful or even funny about cats, cute videos and she also joined other cat lover facebook pages and mentioned her new facebook page for her cat. The ones she joined, joined hers and put her as a recommendation of other related pages you might want to check out. I get random adds for everything from build your own log cabin, to new herbal diets, or fairy style clothing, all coming thru as ads that facebook allows. The reason is, its the best place to advetise. So you may want to get your face known and create a business facebook page with the same name as your blog. I wouldn't worry too much about minor writing errors. In todays time with those who can figure out what you mean by all the abbreviations in texting, people can usually figure out what is meant. unless its full of misspelling and awkward sentences, no ones going to leave your blog just for that. Heck hon, I find grievous errors in bus ads, billboards, internet and other ad mis spellings, the kinds of places that have "proof readers". SO don't worry. Just have fun with it.
What does brake I p Lt mean?
Was this in a text? You may have to ask the sender what they meant. If its written somewhere as abreviated instructions for something, you'd have to give us a bit more to know where you saw this, some story so we have more clue as to what you're talking about. Granted I am much older and not very text talk savvy so I may have missed something that is obvious. Brake means to stop or the thing on a vehicle that helps it stop. If someone used the wrong spelling, perhaps it was the word break as in coming apart in pieces. Then Lt. can be short for Lieutenant, or light. As for the letters, I p, I have no clue, sorry
so basically a friend told me that there were people that talks behind my back and those people who said mean stuff about me, 1) i dont even know them, 2) we barely talk so they dont know who am i!!!!
what did i do wrong? what am i suppose to do now?
i was going to just ignore them but i feel sad because i didnt even do anything wrong and get hated on? thats just unreasonable man.
I had the same thing happen. I was a senior. Had a sis with a friend Terry who was a Soph. Terry had a sister who was a junior and I and her had never talked, ever been near each other. Only saw her on stage during a talent show. The little sister told my sister that her older sis hates me. I laughed. Hate is a strong word. But even if she simply disliked me, she'd had to have met me to learn she dislikes me.
What I did, is something you need to do, "not take personally anything a person says bad of you.
That saying about how words can never hurt you, well they can if you take in whats said, believe it and allow all your thoughts to dwell on it. Your mind does the rest and comes up with all sorts of scenerios and imaginings of the horrible things that must be told to each other and snickered about behind your back. Actually doesnt matter if it behind the back or to your face, cruel words can hurt if you dont in the first minute do something internally about it. you need to tell yourself that what they said is not true. No you can't or shouldn't try to convince their puny immature childish minds, Waste of time. But reminding yourself that they are the ones with an issue, not you is important.
Most likely, you never went wrong anywhere. In most cases, when I don't like a person's personality, I just choose to not be a friend or close to them. In life, even in relationships, you will find that people are attracted to different types of personalities and characters. It doesnt mean there is anything lacking in you or wrong or that you do wrong. It is most evident in couple relationships where the two are perfect for someone else, just not each other yet they force themselves to stay in the relationship and are miserable and fight and begin to resent, even hate their partner.
With kids, they don't often see that this is more about personal taste in a person for a friend than a person having wronged them in some way.
Another thing kids do is to talk about people they find to be odd in some way. I was extremely shy until last year of HS. In middle school I still wore glasses. They made variations of my last name, teased about my glasses or in general would to that stop chatter and stare at me as a group as I walked by resuming unhearable comments with snickers, giggles and comments. It bothered me when I was younger as I wasn't self confident yet, I worried too much about what others thought of me. If you work on yourself in those areas and choose to not dwell on negative comments and negate them in your mind, you will find it no longer bothers you.
Some kids talk behind the back of those they are jealous of. I remember a guy who was a great student, straight A's and that bothered them so they were cruel to him just because of that. He never did anything to hurt anyone.
Some cases can be ignored. Others, something needs to be said is its some teasing or derogatory thing said to your face. If they see they can hurt you, thats theire payback. If they see that it has no effect on you, then its no fun anymore and most likely they will stop. Its probably not a one time thing and may happen again. Don't respond to it if its passed on to you by a friend or someone else. It needs to be something you hear or witness them doing. If you aren't brave enough to say something and joke back making light of what they say, then you'll need to work on self confidence first. Let me know if you suffer from social anxiety to any extent. I did on some points, not all but it still crippled my ability to respond and stop such behavior. I have the recipe of what to do to get over shyness, and a little bit too on self confidence. Lastly I will give you one example of such a confrontation...one I'd heard towards me. I was teased for how I dressed different than the other kids. Sure we budget shopped sometimes, but I never wore any styles I did not like. If a popular style at the time was something everyone wore, and I didn't like it, I didn't wear it. For example, in the 70s, the extreme bell bottoms were in and I rode my bike alot. They always got caught in my chain and ruined anyway, or i hated having to rubberband them against my leg. I wanted no fuss pants. SO I wore flared or whats called stove pipe pants, kinda the forerunner of those legging type pants. I got teased about my pants. I smiled back and told them, I wore them cus I liked them. And at least I had my own sense of style and wore what expressed me best, rather than follow the crowd and all look the same because the rest all have such low self confidence they are afraid to stand out in the crowd. That shut them up. They couldn't make me sorry I was wearing what I had on, and I threw the situation back at them to think about. Those who aren't chicken to do something different, end up being the leaders of tomorrow that others try to model themselves after or go to for advice.
22/f
My first counselor was in high school, she saw that I had a hint of depression. During this time, I was 18 years old. I was taking 27 credit hours (wasn't a choice because I was also a high school student), working 24 hours/week, and my boyfriend at that time and I weren't doing so well. The next two years, my depression had worsen, my boyfriend (same one from high school) was "dragging me on" and I was waiting for him and didn't completely leave him until I was 21. During this process, I didn't realize that my well-being was winding downward because I was so focused on my relationship. Since then I've been having trouble feeling better. I still feel very sad and I sometimes feel the need to cry for no apparent reason. I sometimes feel sad when I don't even have a reason to feel sad.
I think my anxiety is due to my current relationship with my boyfriend. He has broken my trust several times, and we've been going to couples therapy to try to rebuild trust. But I would sometimes get random anxiety attacks out of nowhere--shortness of breaths, sweaty palms, rapid breathing, mind racing, and feeling as if I'm going crazy. I'm not thinking about anything in particular, but I do fear that something bad has/is going to happen.
I feel as if my life is falling apart. When something good happens, I feel that something bad/terrible happens to me right afterward. For example, yesterday my boyfriend came back from a business trip. I was excited and looking forward to him coming back. Not feeling depressed, I was being very productive in the morning--cleaning, took the dog out for a walk, etc. But when I was about to take the dog to visit my mom, my car was not working at all. This may be a coincidence, but it seems as if something bad is always going to happen even if I feel great.
I don't like my current job (I'm a graphic designer), and I'm trying to get my alternate certification in teaching. However, when I was studying for the EC-6 generalist test, I received a notice that the EC-6 generalist has been discontinued and was replaced by another test. I was advised to buy another test that related to the current test, meaning that I had to start over. My family life is stressful. My family is about to lose the house, my mom (also has depression and anxiety) tends to focus on getting a new car instead of trying to save this house, always being lectured by my mom (regular conversations turns into lectures), and when I'm not being lectured, my older sister tends to complain to me about everything happening in our home or in her current life. I feel as if I don't have a place for myself. When I go home, I'm always being bothered and I feel that the environment at home does not benefit me in any way. When I stay at my boyfriend's house, I feel as if I'm taking care of his chores, taking care of his dog, etc. There is not a place for me to actually relax. I miss my room; I miss my stuff; and I'm just feeling miserable, yet lonely at the same time.
The only reason why I haven't moved away and started over is because I know that my family needs me. If there was any hint that they would be okay without me, I probably would have packed everything and left. A lot of people thought it would be best for me, some say it would be very difficult, but I feel that it would be so much easier than to wake up to my current life.
I don't know what to do, or how to feel better. I've done counseling, I've done different types of exercises to help me feel better (I'm not taking medication, I wanted to do everything naturally), but it only helps with a short amount of time. Most of these things are environmental and not biological. Since my family is going through the same stressors and we don't have any other family members that have depression and anxiety, I'm not sure what I should do.
I will start with the part of you noting that you have done counseling. There are two main styles of counseling for depression and anxieties. One kind is linked with the idea its all due to chemical imbalances and usually some medication is given. Most people drop their medication as they feel worse on it. The second type has been around long enough to have a good track record. One of the Psychologists approached by his peers with what is called the CBT method, Cognitive Behavorial therapy, decided to try it on his worst untreatable patients and they improved or were cured. Today he gives lectures to other Drs. Has written books on the subject. Because of him, I know there is hope, it has helped family members. The anxiety part he covers on shyness/social anxiety are the exact same things I did on my own as a teen, coming across the same info via another source and it helped me. So I know this works. He does say that there are only a few people who truly need medication but If I were you, I'd rather have a Dr. trained in CBT making that determination. Most improve or are cured in just months of visits rather than years of visits. Once you mom, sis and anyone else in the family is cured, home life will improve even if the house is lost. Having a clear mind is a good thing for planning a better future. If your family isn't willing or ready to ask for this kind of help or dont even think they have a problem, you'll do better to find someone else to ive with who is a more positive person.
That all said, here is a video I want you to watch of a talk by the Dr. I am talking of, Dr. David D. Burns and a link to his website. You could get one of his books to read and work thru but I've read it and can tell you its very hard to self diagnos which exact method in the book will best help you. So its best that you contact him and ask for referalls of names of Dr.s in your area. I know you're disappointed with lack of help so far from the professional section, but if trying just this one more thing does the trick of taking away depression and giving you hope, its worth it, isnt it?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1T5uMeYv9Q
http://feelinggood.com/
Good luck dear!
I am a 17 year old girl and is having 23 year old friend with benefit.We had done almost evrything like liplock ..boob suck he made to me and even he has done fingering to me and I trust him totally so allow to do him whatevver he likes and now he says me that he wants to fuck me and I said him that I cant loose my virginity as after marriage my husband would know so he said that he wolud just fuck harmlessly and wont let my vagina bleed and that too he says that he wont do anything that would affect my future...and I know we are just besties and not lovers to have sex ...what does he mean ...would his fucking really wont be harmful?? What should I do ???
Technically, any penis in vagina sex means you are no longer a virgin by todays interpretation of the word virgin. Not all women bleed when having sex by penetration (also called intercourse) I didn't for one. This idea that a show of blood is needed to prove a girl is a virgin isn't scientifically good solid proof for that reason.. However, before the world created birth control and paternity tests, men of long ago wanted to know if a child their bride wss carrying was really his to pass his estate on to and men came up wiht the idea that the only way to know was if a female was a virgin at the marriage bed. Unfortunately since a good many women dont bleed, many have been turned away or even killed for being 'tainted, not pure' anymore. I personally don't see anything wrong with sex before marriage. Any kind of sexual activity basically makes you no longer a person untouched as in the original meaning of the word like a virgin forest (someone no human has ever been) So fingering, touching oral sex actually makes you no longer a true virgin. But if its important to you to remain a virgin as far as penetration, then there is no way or style or technicality where he can enter you and you remain a virgin intercourse wise.
I am sorry to have to tell you that your supposed best friend is lying through his teeth. If it is important to you to have people as friends that you can totally trust, then if I were you, I would be breaking off friendship and sex with him immediately. The discovery of one lie means there is more where that came from. People hide what they know they are at core if it is rotten and bad but at some point it becomes too hard to keep a charade going and they accidently say or do something to reveal who they are deep inside. He must believe you to be very naive and stupid. Although you werent sure, you came here asking which actually proves you to be quite intelligent to be asking. I am glad you did. I have had guys lie to me like this too. Heck even in late 40s when looking for my 2nd husband, men will lie thinking its no big deal, just to get the girl they want or the sex they want. So far you've been willing. If you say no now, you can expect him to get angry, beg more or throw a royal tantrum fit. Personally, I'd lose him ASASP and go get yourself checked ford STDs, cus even something like oral herpes could have been transfered to you by now and you cant expect him to be truthful about that if he's making up stories about other stuff.
I started wetting the bed at college, its been a few times a week recently and Im worried my roommate will find out with the constant wet sheets. I don’t drink alcohol andI’m healthy. What can I do to avoid any embarrassment? Ive been to the doctor and they don’t know what the cause is.
I would keep trying other doctors. It is not a common occurance by known to happen in adults and may point to another medical issue. I am attaching a link to a list of some. If you havent been checked out for some of those, I'd go in again. I understand this can be embarrassing if you don't live alone and others come to notice this and it can be a killer for a sex life. But it is a temporary issue and once a Dr. discovers what the caused is and treats it, you should have a normal life from that point on. The term for what you have is 'secondary nocturnal enuresis'. The following site lists the most probable causes for it in adults. Whiled you are so young, they may not have considered that you could possibly have some of the issues listed such as bladder cancer or urinary tract stones, or even neurological disorder but you will need to find someone willing to go thru the list and check you for all. You might hit the 'connect' tab to read the options and see if you can get a phone number or email to ask for referalls for in your area to a good doctor familiar with treating bedwetting in adults.
http://www.nafc.org/adult-bedwetting/
I am an 18 year old female and my period has been really erratic lately and sometimes it doesn't come at all. Usually it's pretty regular and I can pretty much expect it at the same time every month. But now I just don't know. Should I go to the doctor? Could it be something serious or is it just a normal thing?
Periods can be unpredictable and come later due to stress or illness, or sooner if your body is regulating to the pheremones of other women you are around on a daily basis who may have theirs. So that is entirely common. However you mention sometimes it doesnt come at all. Something may be wrong with your hormone levels and that while not as common is an issue known about by Drs. and they can test for it and give you something to make you regular again. So go see your Dr.
From a lifetime of yearly visits to my Gyn, I can say that their biggest concerns that they always warned me to come in immediately for was if I had severe pain in the area or very heavy bleeding that wouldn't stop. Since you don't have those symptoms, I am sure it is nothing serious. However in the long term, if not treated, it may make it very difficult to conceive children someday.
My mom is having surgery tomorrow and she will be recovering all week so I will be the one to take care of them all week while she is recovering my niece is 14 and my nephew is 12 and I wanted ideas for activities for the week to do with them and meal ideas
You can ask them what their favorite meals are. Here's a fun one. Buy ready made pizza dough, often found in section with rolls, get already shredded pizza cheese and pizza sauce in a jar and each can vote for ingrediants they love, like pepperoni, or onion, green pepper, olives, etc... Use a 13 x 9 baking sheet. The pizza need not be round.; At 14 the niece is old enough to at least help you. I ran the house and cooked all meals while my mom made a week trip to go visit her ailing mother who died and it turned into 2 weeks at 14 1/2 that I cooked all the meals. Its really not all that hard. Even cheese and mac is easy, just toss in extra ingrediants if you want like tuna and pea, or heck, canned chicken. My guess is just the 4 of you unless there is a Dad, then 5. Take into account how much a grown man and a growing boy eat serving wise for these meals so you make enough. Quiche sounds hard but is no harder than making your own pizza. You can buy ready made crust at the grocery, just ask where they have it, use pie plates. Buy some cream or half and half alto I have used just milk before. Scramble 6 eggs and use about 1/4 or 1/3 cup of the liquid, cheese of any sort, chedder, or swiss or a mix already shredded, but you can add small slices. Just fill the crust filled pan with ingrediants the family loves, I used small bits of brocolli and zuchinni for veggies and other stuff. Season with salt and pepper or add some onion powder. Pour the beaten egg, cream in last and then bake until done. You can find other recipes ideas on line at Allrecipes.com
As for activities, during a normal week, is mom daily comming up with activity ideas for all of you? That sounds more like entertainment needs for grade school kids during a school break like summer where after the 1st week they get bored and need ideas of what to do. What do they normally like to do? Let them know that they need to help pitch in to keep things clean, the cook doesnt clean up after, they need to and yes, they're old enough. If 10 yr olds can do it, so can they. Some books recommend even younger kids to pitch in with such chores. You don't want the house looking like a bomb went off so Mom instead of resting is tempted to get up and clean herself. I dont like chores and you guys probably dont either, so try and make it fun. I found I enjoyed singing while washing dishes. I think it could be taken further. How about getting all your laundry washed, setting it on a pile on the bed after drying and then each of you try to dance along to some favorite music while folding your own clothes. It wont be as easy and may take longer but it sure as heck will look funny and make you all laugh. If you have a library card, go see what scary DVD movies they might have for the Halloween season and make or buy some popcorn to watch together or make some decorations of your own to add to the house for Halloween or Fall themed decorating. THere are many good ideas on line. DIY projects. I have tried a few and will post links to a few favorites.
Maple leaf Roses maybe nephew would be willing to collect a bag full of the best colored leaves.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cZ0Tj56-GI
Paper Pumpkin decor.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUCszHivFVM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1A7IGRjdls