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Read sisters messages-now think she's being bullied
So I have a twin sister and she is alot quieter and less assertive shall we say than I am.
Recently I've got into a habit (all be it a bad one) of logging into her facebook account-she doesn't know but I know her password.
I only did it one day because i noticed she was messaged unusually alot of people. Then today I discovered something bad. A flatmate she lives with sent her a message (looked sarcastic) with a link to really posh make up brushes (£130 each) saying she would want one and the other flat mate wants two.
The message was littered with kisses and before it, it was like 'we've got a present for you sexy'.
Now as far as I know my sister works during the day so doesn't even see much of her housemates (only been living together for a month)
My sister DOES have an issue with make-up, she doesn't tend to blend it very well which is why I thought perhaps these girls are sending her a nasty message in reference to that.
I don't know what to do. I care about her a lot but what if she takes it badly because I've been reading her Facebook messages?
Thanks for any advice
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STOP LOGGING INTO HER FACEBOOK ACCOUNT.
Seriously. You have no idea what the context of these messages is. Maybe it was nasty. Maybe it was an in-joke that your sister is fine with.
Do you know what your sister will definitely NOT be fine with? Your invading her privacy.
If you are worried about your sister, pick up the phone and have a sisterly chat with her. Ask her about her new roommates and how things are going. Be her sister, not her stalker. Stay out of her online accounts.
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My question is, whether your sister has said anything to you about people harassing or bullying her on line or in person? I can understand caring about a sister and wanting to protect and help her, but unless she's asked for help, you can't help. Having flatmates, I assume you're adults and on your own now. What I would like to say and point out is that the only reason you are writing here in concern is because you went looking at her private facebook account so what isn't posted for everyone to see if you have her as a facebook friend, is then private info. If what you saw was posted where everyone in the world could see, just by being her facebook friend, then thats common information. You say you've gotten into a bad habit, a habit isn't something a person does once. A habit doesnt form until a certain action has been repeated several times. So either you meant to use another word, or you have actually been checking her private on line places way more than once. Either way, thats invasion of someones privacy and it being a family member doesnt grant someone special privileges, even if she could use the help. Now if you were her legal guardian and she was mentally challendged, not able to totally function on her own as an adult with Dr.s evaluation, then yes, you have every right to be checking up on things for her and looking out for her welfare. Unless you failed to put that in your message, I believe its not the case. So you find yourself having information now that you shouldn't have, Right now your only worry is concerning makeup and perhaps people trying to sell her stuff that wont help but she is gullible, meaning too trusting and easily will believe anything someone says. Many people are like that but learn to be cautious after being burned a couple times. I think due to her being your twin, you are prone to attempt to be more involved in her life, goings on, and decisions than you should be. As a Mom, I do now snoop into my 3 adult daughters lives. Theres lots I could have advised and given better info on if I had known they were thinking of trying or doing something or had a medical issue but I can't know unless they choose to tell me which is always after the fact, after theres a big problem. So I know how you may feel. Its your decision whether to tell her you have logged into her account or not. And to apologize and promise not to do so again. Put yourself in her shoes. Lets say she or Mom or another family member owns up to having logged in to your private accounts for some time now...how would you feel. Not very good and probably a stronger emotion than that and you'd have a right to feel that way. well, so does your sister. If you tell her and what you saw that you are concerned about, likely her response will be to mind your own business rather than say, "Thankyou sister. I am so glad you've been worried enough about my welfare that you snooped on my facebook and inadvertently found some things that got the alarms going off for you and you being kind enough to alert me to potential problems there." Its very unlikely any person in the world would react that way. No one likes their privacy invaded for one. Second, no adult likes being told what to do by another adult, or warned of things they arent doing right or may be about to do wrong. We have to for our jobs fall into that position but the rest of our life, we want to make our own decisions. And third, most adults learn what not to do due to going thru bad things...called the school of hard knocks and do not learn from simply reading about or hearing warnings from others. You also may be jumping to conclusions about what you read, so you may have a lot of apologizing and she may not get over her anger for quite some time. Remember, I understand you did what you did out of a loving caring heart. Its just what you reasoned to be an okay reason for doing so, and what you actually did that was wrong. Everyone does mess up like that at least once in life so you're not alone. Learn from it dear.
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