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Getting over someone
Okay so I've had the biggest crush on this girl for almost a year. She is so cute and perfect. I haven't told her anything because first of all, I don't think she's into girls. She's 3 years younger than me and I know it would not work out. I guess I have just held on to the little hope that she might be into me too because there had been occasions where she would blush when we would talk. Or when she asked me if I had a boyfriend randomly. Or when she would try to hang with me as much as possible but then again, maybe it was all in my head that maybe a wonderful girl like her would like me back. Anyway, I need to get over her. I just don't know how. I don't go to the same school as her anymore but I still have her on social media. I'm constantly checking up on her (not In a creepy way, maybe a little, kidding.) I think it's time for me to move on. I'm just hurting myself over and over again. She probably has no idea that I have a huge crush on her. It's kind of pathetic, I know. So any advice on how to get over someone that I never even dated? Thank you.
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I don't understand your reasoning for getting over her. Maybe you're over 18 and she's under and you're worried about the sex with minors law? Other than that, I see no reason why you can't let her know. How many clues from her do you need before you feel confident to proceed??? You listed quite a few, she'd blush around you, asked if you had a boyfriend to discover if you were single or not, and try to be near you as much as possible.
Hon, those are the very same things a boy and girl do to each other if interested. You smile and stare at each other a lot and if caught doing so, may blush, find ways to see if you're in a relationship or available and those attracted to someone, will subconsciously find ways to be near the person they crush on cus it feels so good plus you hope that they will notice you and pay favorable attention back. I think you are asking the wrong question here. Maybe you need to ask yourself why as a girl, you should not go after a girl to date. Do you come from a religious or bigoted family where you were taught only heterosexuality is okay and everything else evil? Even if you feel you dont buy that...those old programs may be still running inside you on a subconscious level even though Thats one reason, and there could be others like lack of self confidence, fear of rejection and so on. You tell us what your real issue is within you to fight this attraction and perhaps we can actually help you then.
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Before you get over her, tell her how you feel, and make sure that you are not letting someone go that could be something more. You don't know unless you try, and you could be trying to get over someone who is waiting for you to tell them how you feel. For a while, just forget age and how the relationship wouldn't work, I strongly believe that as long as you like each other, the things getting in the way won't matter any more. If she responds telling you she likes you, too, then great! Have fun, treat her right, spend time with her, do whatever you can for her. If she replies saying she doesn't want to be with you, it will hurt, of course, but it will finally give you the closure you need. If you find out that she doesn't feel the same way, then you should remove her from everything, for a start. Whatever social networking websites you have her on, delete her on every single one, and explain to her that you need to move on. Constantly checking up on her on social media makes your feelings even stronger and even worse. Having nothing to do with her with lead you to finally find that you don't think about her as much, and then you'll find, eventually, that you are over her, and maybe you'll meet someone else! Sometimes, you don't need to get over someone, you need to find out if they feel the same. I hope everything goes well for you, and I hope this is a happy ending. Good luck!
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Hi there. Looking at someone and wanting to share your time and experiences etc, and of course keeping an eye out for any signs that they return the affection is a perfectly normal starting phase to many relationships. It's not sad or pathetic, so don't beat yourself up. Also, the thought that if she is so nice, why would she want ME is normal too. OK, it might denote an extremely low self-esteem, but more usually it's because we rate them very highly in our estimation. We basically question, "Am I good enough". If you'rre thinking like that about a person then it's a sure sign you admire them greatly, and that's a good thing. So you won't be seeing her again in the general course of things, but it appears you could still easily contact her via social media? That's looking like a good position to get a definite result (with no chance of awkward moments and gossip if it's a 'No') to me, don't you think? Write it and tell. How you miss her, how strongly you felt when you were around together. That you never quite got the nerve to ask her outright. You regret it. It was a missed opportunity and you're asking now. Maybe 'moving on' won't be the case at all? There's really only one way to find out for sure in a position like this. If it doesn't work then you'll know you did all you possibly could. Played your hand, in plain view, win or lose. A definite result. That's a really key step in 'getting over' someone and 'moving on'. Left hanging, it's more difficult. There's always that element of doubt. Like a little glimmer of a flame. It's flickering, and none too bright, but it won't quite go out, eh? You know what I mean, don't you? then it's usually a matter of time, moving on is a day-by-day, step-by-step process. Hardly ever like a 'lightbulb moment', like Click! "Hey! I've moved on." But (BIG BUT!!), before you resign yourself to getting over her, for goddness sake tell her how you feel. No beating about the bush, no coyness, no bluffs or double-bluffs, no playing cool. Time to lay your cards on the table! You sound well into her, so I'm crossing my fingers for you. For that chance you might have let slip by through lack of nerve. Send that message. Don't overthink it, don't talk yourself out of it, don't put it off until a better time. Just DO IT!
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