about

advice

i’m asian, and my eyes are on the small side and i don’t have a double eyelid. what kind of eye makeup do you suggest? most fashion magazines just ignore asian eyes when dealing w/ eye makeup which is kind of annoying. also, i read ‘bobbi brown and teenage beauty’, which has a section that deals w/ asian beauty, but bobbi brown just suggested skin-tone eye makeup (tan, beige). colors like that are low-key and good for everyday wear i guess, but what if i want kind of a punk-rockish look? with dark makeup? and what if i want to wear (dark) exotic colors like violet and turquoise? serious answers please.

White eyeliner is great for making your eyes look bigger and further apart. Don't go for dark colours, because they will just make your eyes look smaller. Try clear mascara, and then baby blue, pale green, beige, silver or white eyeshadow. You could even try blue mascara - experiment around with it a little and see which suits your skin tone best.
Well...if you want to wear dark colours on your eyes...they're just gonna make your eyes look small. You can be punky and dramatic without dark colours - dark colours look great on white punks, but what if you reverse it? Use white or silver mascara, maybe? Punky isn't about having dark makeup - it's about being you, standing out and looking dramatic.
Turquoise would probably look quite good though (put a LOT of it on). It all depends on your exact skin tone as well...everyone is slightly different, so just keep experimenting until you find something you like!! :)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

[view]

ok here is the thing i met this guy from my BFF...i backed off bc i knew she liked him and i didnt want to let her know i liked him...yet he is 2 months older yet a grade younger so he isnt in the high school with me yet..

im tryin to think of a way to let them both know that i like him with out obvious signals

he seems to flirt or whatever with me...like he will sometimes hug me or hell run from me n make me catch him..idk

i will most likely see him 2morro @ the mall again but im not sure...any ideas on how i can pull this off?

The only thing you can really do with regards to your BFF is tell her straight that you like this guy! Send her an email or say it over IM if you'd be too embarrased in person. It's only fair that she knows - it's better that she hears it from you before anything happens than she hears it from some random person who saw you guys kissing at the mall or whatever.
That sounds like flirting to me!! I'd go for it if I were you!! I know it might be really hard and embarrassing, but just be like, 'hey, wanna go see a movie sometime?' or something. (Make sure it's a scary one so he has to put his arm around you when you scared :P) Or maybe you could just try and hold his hand or something? Or even ask something like 'what's the deal with us? Do you like me, more than a friend? // Because I like you'.
I'm sorry I couldn't give anything better than that!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

[view]

My best guy friend him and I have gone out before and we eventualy broke up but we still had feelings for each other but instead we stayed CLOSE friends he knows everything about me.Well I recently found out he has a gf which i never thought would happen so quick and when i found out i was crushed i began crying i felt terrible.I don't know what to do I'm thinking bout stop talking to him it might help but im not sure pleae help me! thank you either way for just reading.

Hiya hun,
Talking to him would be good :) Just ask him to not flaunt his girlfriend in front of you or anything like that, just until you can get over and/or used to the idea of him having another girlfriend!
NOT talking to him would be bad! He hasn't done anything wrong, so he'd get really confused. Do you really want to end a great friendship that even stood strong through a break-up just for a girl who probably won't be on the scene all that long anyway?
All you can really do is go out with your other friends, have some fun, and try and forget this guy (romantically anyway...you can still think about him in a friendly way). There is, unfortunately, no magical cure for getting over guys quickly, so just eat some chocolate and go out and see a good old funny film to cheer you up a little!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

[view]

OK this is a really hard question to write. My parents got divorced when i was in 1st grade, and i live with my mom. Lately she and i have been fighting alot. i love her and everything, but she is just really stressing me out. ive told her this, and she does better the next day, but as soon as its a week later she totally forgets. My Dad is an air traffic controler and so h works weird hours. Me and him have a great relationship and rarely fight with him my question is, should i take a break from my moms house and move in with my dad for awhile or deal with her? Thanx!!!!!!

You might get on really well with your Dad when you visit, but it could be different when he has to be a full-time parent instead of the 'fun guy'. But I say if you don't have to change schools or anything for this move, why not? It might help your Mum to realise how much she's stressing you out, it'll give you a break and your Dad will really like to see you! You don't have to stay for a really long visit either if it turns out bad :)
Good luck!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

[view]

My friend that i have known for a long time has just revealed to me that he is gay. I love him to death. What should i do ??

Just be there for him and support him - he's gonna have a pretty tough time with other people if he tells them. You 'love him to death' - that shouldn't change just because his sexuality has been revealed. Remember that he hasn't changed - he has probably been feeling this way for a long time, so he is still the same person!! He just has a 'label' now. Have a chat with him if you are at all uncomfortable - don't bottle it up or you could really grow to resent him. Good luck!! :)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

[view]

Ok so I have already gone to the doctor. I am taking medicine and a mulitvitamin. I am so tired. I don't even want to hear myself say it again. I am coughing up stuff, but it doesn't seem to me like it's getting any better. The worst thing is that I cannot sing.
It's mostly congestion. I have used cough drops, Nyquil, Vapor Rub. Took 3 baths last night trying to be able to breathe more clearly so I could sleep.
If I am not better by Monday, I am definitely calling the doctor again.
So has anyone got any bright ideas to how I can feel better?

Get off the multivitamin if you can and find a tonic. There are special tonics, like the Severn Seas one, that specifically help people who are feeling run down or ill :)
If you're having trouble singing, there is a special 'cough drop' for singers, my friend uses it...I can't remember the name right now, but I'll ask my friend when she comes online and email it to you if you leave an addy/column name when you rate.
Try Olbas Oil...that is damn strong stuff. It's like Vics VapourRub but much stronger. Oor put a couple of drops of tea tree oil into a bowl of hot water, put your head over the bowl and a towel over your head (to help trap the steam) and breathe it in (don't drink it though lol!!). Eat a little bit of chocolate, and if you're in a sunny part of the world, do some sunbathing - both of those help to release endorphins, the 'happy hormone'. If not, have all your curtains open to let as much natural light in as possible.
And finally, have a positive attitude!! I know it's hard, but tell yourself that you WILL get better very soon, and that there are people out there worse off than you. Watch some funny movies and chill! People with positive attitudes recover much more quickly than people with negative ones!
Blessed Be and I hope you get better soon!
Rach xxx

[view]

My mum told me today that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She will have to have an operation and go through radiotherapy. I'm so worried- she will have to be in hospital for 4 days then go once every day. I'd be thankful for any information about the symtoms of radiotherapy and cancer, ways to make her feel better about it and any other things that would be useful. Thank you.

Radiotherapy can make the patient feel kinda tired and sometimes sick, but the symptoms vary from patient to patient.
When she's feeling sick (if she does) you can look after her and let her sit down and get her a towel and a bucket and some water, stuff like that. If she gets tired, then do some of the housework for her and look after any pets/siblings you have :)
And keep her positive!! Cry if you want to when she is crying but otherwise be strong! Tell her it's all gonna be OK and give her lots of hugs. Maybe take her shopping or to see a funny film? People with positive attitudes are medically proven to be more likely to recover from illnesses!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

[view]

i have a friend who is always complaining of being fat, but she isnt and she always says that no guys like her or will ever like her and all that is not true. she is a great girl and i love her to death. what can i tell her to make her realize that she is fine the way she is and someday she will find someone it is just a matter of time?

Just tell her that she's a lovely person and everyone knows it - and any guys who don't like her are idiots!!
You really can't do anything other than that and keeping on telling her she's not fat. My friend is exactly the same...it's just the mentality they have and changing that would be like changing them - pretty much impossible. Your friend is just probably quite insecure, so compliment her a lot, that should boost her ego a little and make her feel a bit better about herself!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

[view]

You see my best friend has this boy bofreind right. And to me she is spending way more time with him then me. Thats the only person she talks about to. I have been her best friend since the 4th grade he just been her bf for a couple of months. What should I do?

Hiya,
When she got a boyfriend, she didn't get extra hours in the day to hang out with him without cutting out her time with you :) She's having to share her time between you now, and although that doesn't really seem fair, put yourself in her shoes...wouldn't you want to spend time with your boyfriend? Be honest! :P
As they've only been together a couple of months, it should calm down a little. Try and find places you can all go out together (bring along another friend for you though so that you don't feel left out!), or have a quick word with your friend (don't confront her, talk to her calmly :) Do this over MSN/Yahoo etc if you think you'll find it difficult to stay calm in person), saying how much you miss you two spending time together like you always used to. Make sure that she understands you're OK with her spending time with this guy - but you want to be around too! Try and remember some of the good times with her and tell her how much you are missing them!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

[view]

is sex at a young age(like 13) a bad idea?

Well...yeah, because it's against the law, but emotionally, physically and mentally it all depends on the person. A thirteen year old could be more ready to have sex than a 30 year old.
But with regards to pregnancy and STDs, yeah, it is a REALLY bad idea. Especially if you catch an STD and then have to go to the doctor or gynocologist - people would look down on you like anything, not to mention the fact that it could make you infertile or even kill you, and you could get a really nasty reputation for being 'easy' or a slut. Save your first time for someone really special who deserves it, because how do you know that you're not being used? And if you have had sex at thirteen...well as long as you used protection you should be OK. But be careful, there are a lot of nasty guys (or even women) who would really like the opportunity to take advantage of a 13 year old guy/girl.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

[view]

Hi are you a harry potter fan
if so so am i lol
just though id tell you
xxx roxie

Lol, yes I am. There's a bunch of my addys (for the different Instant Messangers) on my profile so if you wanna chat some time, just add me!! D'ya like Charmed?
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

[view]

My dog urinates on my mothers pillow every few weeks I have no idea why. Can you give me any ideas why? Thanks. (PS- we have no other pets)

S/he is probably just 'marking' his/her territory. I really don't think there's much you can do about it...try lifting him/her up every time s/he starts doing it and putting him on the floor or on some newspaper or something. Or tell her/him off when you catch them doing it and give him/her a treat if s/he stops.
Hope that helped!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

[view]

hey i can't for the love of me figure why we have so many different social relationships. i don't even understand why goths r considered scary i mean i have friends who r goths and they r awsome...help me out!! thnx :)

It's because everyone likes to be different :) Things would be so boring if we were all the same!!
Goths are usually considered scary because they are associated with death. They welcome it and are not afraid of it (the stereotypical goth anyway), but 'normal' (I say it in quote marks because what, really, is normal except a setting on the washing machine?) people tend to be scared of the unknown - and death is the biggest unknown of all.
Some people are just dumb and narrow minded as well and can't see that, behind a little black lipstick, is a really great person!
But go you for being so open minded!! You sound like a great person :)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

[view]

i want some truley unique peices for my wordrobe! not too preppy but not to punkish. im a junior size (im 13years) so does ne one no where i can shop for these things?

I've asked this to random people (not on here) before a couple of times, and everyone always says 'thrift stores' and vintage shops. God knows what a thrift store is, but if you know too, I'd try it. Accesories are always a cool idea - junk and charity shops will have loads of cool belts and stuff, and even if the idea of wearing some unknown person's old cardigan bugs you, a belt/purse isn't nearly as bad. You can make whatever you wear truly you if you find some cool accesories!! Try the shop Accessorize for some cool things!
I love having unique clothes but we don't have any shops that sell one-of-a-kind stuff around here, and you might not either, so you could always customise your stuff like I do. I tend to buy plain tshirts and get some fabric paint (you buy all sorts, 3D, glitter, marker pen, everything) and write slogans on them or draw patterns on them. There's all sorts of relatively cheap stuff you can buy to help you customise your clothes, such as this kit you can buy where you put a special liquid onto a picture and iron it onto a tshirt and the picture transfers, or tie dye kits. I buy my stuff from Dunelm, but you might not have one of those stores...any good fabrics, materials, sewing or even art stores should stock some of this stuff though!
You could sew patches and stuff onto your clothes as well...if you don't know how, ask your mom :)
Punky Fish is a cool brand, not too punky and really cool, original clothes. I think Top Shop and Hot Topic sells it.
Good luck!! :)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

[view]

15/m a few days ago my friend asked me if i would mind if he asked out my ex-g/f and i said no because i didnt really care but ever since they started going out, i started to like my ex again. i dont know what to do. please help.

It's probably just a case of wanting what you can't have. Her going out with him means that it's definately the end of the relationship - you can't get back together now. Even if you think you don't care, that'll most likely mean something to you, even subconsciously.
It all depends on how long you guys have been broken up. Under a month - I'd say have a word with your friend, tell him not to kinda 'flaunt' his new girlfriend around in front of you, or to talk about her too much, just until you've had some time to get over her. Over a month - get out there, find some girls and have a couple of quick, no-strings relationships (make sure you find girls who want that too) and have some fun!! You'll get over her in time, but there's nothing that will make it happen faster. Just remember to always look on the bright side and try not to wallow in it :)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

[view]

Hey, okay this is kinda weird for me to ask...but is it wrong for you to have a bf, or well, not a bf..but I mean at my skewl when you say bf, it's someone you just say you're goin out with, and not actually do anything besides hold hands, and im not sure but maybe kiss..at school...thats it..so is it wrong for you to have one without your parents' permission...like,i mean, not the kind where i haven't asked them cause I'm afraid of their answer, I mean I haven't asked them cause I KNOW their answer, because their not American and they have values and all that...but see I was raised in an American or International way, and so at my school...and there's this guy I like on and off..and he flirts with me...and all that. but even for the future..an I asked my sister if it's okay with her anyway coz even though she's not allowed she had 2 before without my parents finding out, but she said no, it's better not to...so is it okay for me to go ahead when they've all said no, because it's not fair, and it's my life..and even though I'm young, I know it has nothing to with age, they will never let me have a bf in their right minds...i dunno...life is pretty horrible for me right now..my parents are really mean besides that too...so i'm confused. Plz help m and answer my question. Thanx. I'm really sorry this was soo long. THX

Sure, they have their values and you appreciate them - if you didn't you wouldn't be asking about this - but you have your values too. And your values are gonna mean much more to you in later life than theirs do.
It'll be hard for you to hide this though - what if he wants to ring you up or come to your house to take you out?
Maybe you should bring this up with your parents - don't tell them you're considering having a boyfriend, but that it IS your life and you can make your own mistakes (you don't view them as mistakes but they will, they're parents :P). Ask them if they would be OK with you have guy friends - total platonic friends - as a start. Once they get used to that, and maybe these guys (your boyfriend could pose as a friend) came round your house a couple of times, you could ask them what they thought about you holding hands with guys. Promise them that you won't go any further than kissing - values or no, the thing that is probably bothering them most is the idea of their 'baby' getting hurt or pregnant before she's ready. It's better to be honest with them, but try not to make it like some big confrontation - a casual chat would be best, and show them how mature - and ready for a boyfriend - you are!
Go with your instincts. You'll feel bad lying to your parents and it'll be a hard thing to hide, but on the other hand, they may disapprove of this guy and try to stop you from seeing him.
I know this was a pretty vague answer, sorry bout that!! Do what you feel is right - I can't tell you what that is because I'm not you :) Just remember that the 'right thing' to do isn't always the right thing for you, and you've gotta look after number one!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

[view]

hey ok here is the thing i know its a lil confusin but plz try and help..last night 2 of my closest friends one as my best friend and one whom i know and im a lil close with who i saw twice, they both r in 8th then me so there still in the jr. high so i dont know what goes on between them since im in the high school now. well my friend comes on and tells me that my friend slapped him across the face and called him a jack@$$...but then again i dont blame her bc i would have done the same thing most likely...the thing is that i still want to be friends with him but i dont know if i want to, i dont want my BFF to get mad..though we have gotten into a fight over the summer me. vs. her n my X-BFF and anyways we became friends again and all n my X-BFF was ok with that...now i dont know if i could do this because i miss him and i do want to see him again..i just dk where i could go to hang out with him n still be friends bc im not allowed to go to the movies with guys nor can i go to their houses or have them over till im 16...we have gone to the mall twice but she was with us so i dont think the mall would be such a gr8 idea...he said well see how things work out between us and well work from there on where we can see each other or we would just have to wait till next school year to see each other again..which i dont know bc she'll also be in the school with us and i really know what to do...
i know she liked him and i liked him too @ the time but he was in a grade younger so i know i wouldnt be able to see him much till next year...so i just backed off think i may like him...i dk i how that would effect her..i asked them both if they would ever be friends again..she said she didnt know n he said he doubts it...im feel like im stuck in the middle of this and i dont want to take sides..since i was right there on-line in the chat when the whole fight broke out.

btw he is in a grade younger...yet he is 2 months older so he is now 15

Hiya,
Wow that is one confusing story!! Well...
Don't feel pressured into choosing between these guys. Your BFF is probably the easier option because you're allowed to see her practically whenever and you are better friends with her, but your guy friend deserves a chance too, and you're great for recognising that :)
They have to sort this out between themselves. It sounds like they've been having troubles for a while but they HAVE to be at least civil, for your sake.
Your BFF has no right whatsoever to get mad if you still wanna be friends with this guy. Sit down and talk to her about this - it's not fair for her falling out with him to affect your friendship with him. Reassure her that she still is your BFF, and just because you want to meet up with the guy friend every now and then, doesn't make you like her any less. She might have a problem with it but she's just gonna have to deal. Try and get her to really talk about this, and how she will feel if you continue to hang out with the guy, because otherwise she might bottle it all up and really grow to resent you or him. Tell her that you respect the fact that she doesn't like him, but you do, so you have a right to still talk to him, but reassure her that he isn't going to take her place (maybe say stuff about how she's much better at shopping or whatever :P).
Have a similar conversation with him, but he shouldn't be too much of a problem as guys don't tend to be jealous about other friends like girls do. Tell him that you still want to be friends, but your BFF (and parents restricting where you can meet him) are making that a little difficult right now.
They need to get together and talk this over - you could even be a mediator type person. You might even find that, even after everything that's gone on, they still want to be friends.
Most importantly, don't take sides...you might regret choosing the wrong side if one of them gets really bitter or starts hating you for choosing!
Liking this guy in that way could get really confusing right about now, and would DEFINATELY make your BFF mad if you went out with him. You were right to leave it until you would see him more. Maybe you can keep waiting until all this has blown over a bit?
And here are a couple of ideas of where you could meet him (tell your BFF that you are going to meet him [you don't have to tell her every single detail every single time, but make sure it doens't sound like you are hiding anything from her])-
*Pizza/McDonalds place
*Mall
*A park when it gets warmer
*His house
*After school clubs when he starts at your school?
*Online (webcam and microphone?)
*Ring him up sometimes/he can ring you
*Half way between your houses (wherever the nearest building is to their)
*A cafe
*Do you have like a high street as well as a mall? Like a street of shops? If you have that or a smaller mall where your BFF is less likely to be, go there.
I hope that helped!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

[view]

i think im cursed or something.. i have been sick (stomach flu) about 5 times in the past 2 months. it has been on and off. I was sick right before christmas, the day after christmas, new years(yea i couldnt go to a party or anything) and then once in January. Now Im sick again. Its horrible i will throw up, lay down, then when i get back up i have to throw up again. and all i ate this morning was a powdered doughnut. i also used to have an extreme pain on my right side.. it was so bad it made me throw up and i wasnt able to walk.. could someone tell me whats wrong with me.. or how to get rid of this stomach flu? (i have gone to the doctors but they didnt find anything)

Drink plenty of water and eat dry toast- stay away from the donuts and all dairy products. Go to the doctor again - exaggerate your symptoms a little if you have to. Ask them to do something about it, they don't always do it without being asked (lol yeah doctors are dumb). Go to your local pharmacist (some supermarkets have them) in the mean time, and keep taking painkillers.
Have you considered that you might have appendicitis? Mention that to your doctor. If you have, don't worry - it's nothing to worry about!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

[view]

My brother in law is living with me and my husband.
I don't mind that he's staying in our house. What I can't stand is that he is messy. He'll go into the kitchen and get something to eat and not put it away. He'll get a glass of juice and not wash his glass. Not only does he not wash it, but he leaves it on the kitchen table for me to do it.

What do you suggest I do?

Clean up your mess and your mess only - and tell your husband to do the same. It'll get pretty messy, but it should get the message across to your brother in law that he has to tidy up himself or no-one else will!!
If that doesn't work, tell him to start being tidier - at least out of his own room (if he has one) or he'll have to go. You don't have to mean it, but it's a threat that might make him do something, lol!
Make sure you talk it all through with your husband before you do anything though, just in case he gets offended...after all, messy or no, this guy is his brother.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

[view]

I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to post these type of questions on this site... but... what they heck...this is actually an english-y type question... you see, I was just wondering... there's this quote that I heard and liked the sound of, but I dont really understand it... maybe some adults in here (or some really smart teens) could explain it to me please... *batts eyelashes*?? anyway, the quote is... "All is fair in love and war" please answer... i know this is a boring question; i rate high!!!

One interpretation is that you can't cheat in a war and you can't cheat in love (i.e. you can't hit your opponent when their back is turned/you can't be a 'player').
Hope that helped!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop
eXTReMe Tracker