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Is it wrong to have a bf without parents permission??
Hey, okay this is kinda weird for me to ask...but is it wrong for you to have a bf, or well, not a bf..but I mean at my skewl when you say bf, it's someone you just say you're goin out with, and not actually do anything besides hold hands, and im not sure but maybe kiss..at school...thats it..so is it wrong for you to have one without your parents' permission...like,i mean, not the kind where i haven't asked them cause I'm afraid of their answer, I mean I haven't asked them cause I KNOW their answer, because their not American and they have values and all that...but see I was raised in an American or International way, and so at my school...and there's this guy I like on and off..and he flirts with me...and all that. but even for the future..an I asked my sister if it's okay with her anyway coz even though she's not allowed she had 2 before without my parents finding out, but she said no, it's better not to...so is it okay for me to go ahead when they've all said no, because it's not fair, and it's my life..and even though I'm young, I know it has nothing to with age, they will never let me have a bf in their right minds...i dunno...life is pretty horrible for me right now..my parents are really mean besides that too...so i'm confused. Plz help m and answer my question. Thanx. I'm really sorry this was soo long. THX
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Your parents are being narrow minded. If it were me in your situation, I'd go for it. It'll be a nice experience. Good luck, and don't get caught!
-Farren
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imho, if you can't go up to your parents and just come outright saying that you have a boyfriend you're too immature to handle one. I would open the idea to them slowly. For instance, I wasn't supposed to date until 16, I'm 15 now. When my friend asked me to homecoming this year I just told my mom outright that we were going together. She was a little sad that I'm growing up so fast but she accepted it. So I would reccommend going on some group-type dates with this boy and your friends then slowly eliminating friends until your parents realize it's okay and something they have to accept.
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Well, its not really wrong to have one without permission. But you should tell your parents how much they're ruining your life.
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Sure, they have their values and you appreciate them - if you didn't you wouldn't be asking about this - but you have your values too. And your values are gonna mean much more to you in later life than theirs do.
It'll be hard for you to hide this though - what if he wants to ring you up or come to your house to take you out?
Maybe you should bring this up with your parents - don't tell them you're considering having a boyfriend, but that it IS your life and you can make your own mistakes (you don't view them as mistakes but they will, they're parents :P). Ask them if they would be OK with you have guy friends - total platonic friends - as a start. Once they get used to that, and maybe these guys (your boyfriend could pose as a friend) came round your house a couple of times, you could ask them what they thought about you holding hands with guys. Promise them that you won't go any further than kissing - values or no, the thing that is probably bothering them most is the idea of their 'baby' getting hurt or pregnant before she's ready. It's better to be honest with them, but try not to make it like some big confrontation - a casual chat would be best, and show them how mature - and ready for a boyfriend - you are!
Go with your instincts. You'll feel bad lying to your parents and it'll be a hard thing to hide, but on the other hand, they may disapprove of this guy and try to stop you from seeing him.
I know this was a pretty vague answer, sorry bout that!! Do what you feel is right - I can't tell you what that is because I'm not you :) Just remember that the 'right thing' to do isn't always the right thing for you, and you've gotta look after number one!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx
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Well I dont really know you but im sure its fine....so chill out. My best friend had that problem last year with this boy named andrew all you do is tell him that your not aloud that way if he wants to come over you can just tell your parrents hes a friend<3
hope that helped (it works) and good luck
Diane
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It's definitely alright to have a boyfriend without your parent's permission. Like you said, it's your life and if you like this guy and he likes you, then you should go out with him. If your sister told you that you shouldn't, then you should think about that, since she went through the same thing, practically. Your parents just really care about you and follow their values and just want you to follow them too. Since you said that a "boyfriend" is referred as someone who you hold hands with and not do anything other than that, besides kissing, then you are fine. You should just talk to them and ask them when you can start dating, and maybe they can let you date, but you don't have to do this, it's just a suggestion. Hope I helped :)
-Karen
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Okay, this really depends on where you live. I assume when you say "because their not American and they have values and all that...but see I was raised in an American or International way," you're saying you're in a country other than America, where traditions and such are different.
There are some countries, particularly in the Middle East and other primarily Muslim/Arabic/[possibly even Oriental] nations where parental consent is required even for dating. These are usually the same nations where you can't even go out without a parent or guardian.
Assuming you're not in an overtly religious state, it's usually okay. If your parents forbid you, then it gets touchy, but it probably won't reach that point anytime soon.
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well hunny, i can see why your so upset. You dont want to go around doing something that you might think would hurt your parents, but at the same time your torn between new age values, and more importantly your feelings!
Coming from a home with parents that are very traditional and very strict, i can see myself in your position.
With all due respect to your sister, she seems to be a hypocrite, well, she did have her own boyfriends didnt she?
Im not saying go ahead and defy your parents, but you need to understand their values and their way of life. I suggest just casually slipping the subject into a conversation some day, (not that you have one ,or actually want one) but you know, jus test the water a bit.
I know how it feels to be living in someones shadows, and not being able to express who you really are. Sometimes its best for people, when they dont know everything thats going on. At the end of this, you need to make sure that you are doing YOU! everything else will come clear in due time! time is the key!
good luck hun
x
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Even though I wanna tell you to go ahead with it, since you said that your sister said no, I would tell to listen to them. She's gone through this before, and she knows.
Anyway, you don't need a boyfriend. You could just have a boy as a friend, or you could be really close friends. Hope I helped some:)
*Diamyn*
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as long as you dont sleep with him or anything it's totally fine. it's not your fault that your parents are old fashioned. if they find out just tell them what you just told me and they should understand if not... well they wont litteraly kill you. :) be careful. oh and your sister, she has no right to tell you not to when she has done it herself.
~ANGE
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