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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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So I have been dating this dude since October of last year.I fell in love very fast its just IMA Taurus and we love hard n fast.but anyway I been dating him for months now I actually moved in with him and his baby mother and daughter. Long story short me and his baby mother are very cool she found out we was messing with each other she flipped out or whatever but some how me and him persuaded her that we wasn't and now me and him are into it because he is a Taurus like me and I ignored him he put me out we didn't speak now we starting to come around a little bit and I just feel like I don't know what to do BTW his daughter loves and adore me he even got his baby mama acting like me and he is controlling sometimes like he just want everything his way idk I'm just confused like should I try to get back in a relationship with him or not I want him to leave his babymama but I like her too ad a friend you know I just need advice right now
If he lives with the babys mother, thats one thing, a tie was made to that baby forever and he will be responsible for child support at the very least if he cant get along with the mother and doesnt want to be with her forever. He doesnt have to live with her to provide child support.
There's no mention of whether he is married. If he's cheating on his wife with you, that is not a good situation. If he isn't married but made a commitment to her to be her man and be there as that and husband to their child and be a family, then you are the 3rd wheel and again, anything he does with you is considered cheating on her.
If he is the kind of guy who isn't of a moral fiber, not mature, hasn't grown up to be a man in responsibilites no matter his age, then he is not capable of making a commitment to her or you or the child. The child is the only one who lucks out that there is a law that will force him to at least pay child support. But there is nothing forcing him to decide to be a man and commit to one woman.
Therefore, my opinion is that he is BAD news. Seems like he's wanting to gather his own mini harem under one roof, all for his own pleasure without concerns to really taking care of the people involved.
I'm not saying that polygamy, one man with several women/wives is wrong but that man has to be capable of being a trustworthy, grown man who will take care of the needs of all and make sure to not hurt anyone in the process if all the women are okay with the arrangement.
And hon, That's not whats going on here. If he has decided to hide the true nature of your relationship from the other gal, he's dishonest for one. Honesty and trustworthiness is very important in a relationship and that's already lacking. If he has the persuasion of force to get another woman to act differently than who she is just cus it pleases him, that is also wrong.
Hon, its important to realize that finding a person you dont have to change to be perfect for you is Very important. Someone who expects her or you to change who you are personality wise and at core with values, beliefs, etc... is nothing but a controller. I had an ex like that. So I know what I am talking about. I learned the hard way, sticking with him trying to make things work, doing everything he asked, and changing even who I was but trying to please him changed with his moods. What he thought he liked one day, changed next week. I was nothing more than his marionette puppet with him yanking the strings. If you want to live this kind of life, I can't stop you. But since I've been there, I can tell you what to expect down the road and it ain't good.
At some point you will begin to resent him, a natural subconscious reaction to being forced to change for him. Or if you, then maybe the other girl cracks first, but you will eventually, whether there is another girl or not.
Stress....yes a situation like this is stressful. Stress unchecked over time can have effects on your health physical and mental. Luckily I didnt cave in and have emotional problems but the stress caused headaches, some migraines, all over body itchy stress created rashes, stomach ulcers and high blood pressure. You won't see it creeppinhg up on you cus handling the stress on a day to day basis or weekly, monthly even a year at a time seems a doable thing. But if you think your body can hold up to never ending stress like that for 5, 10, 20 30 years, you are fooling yourself. the headaches came immediately first and the other stuff began to show at 10 yrs and on.
Lets talk about the guy and what happens to him when a girl changes who she is to please him, does whatever he says as he orders you around, with controlling behavior.
Basically, he's temporarily fooling himself that it makes him happy cus this happiness dont last. He will subconscious find hisself irritated at the fact that the female isn't her true self and lose respect for her and that snowballs into finding all sorts of things wrong with her and the blame game, even though he startd and caused it all by controlling behavior and the females choosing to give over control of their life to him. In his resentment, verbal abuse rose and towards the end he started physical abuse as well. Some may start right off the bat. He may be one of those people like my ex, impossible to please. A catch-22 situation where no matter what you do, even if all you do is everything he's ordered you to do, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Thats not living life...thats living in prison without bars.
You need to understand that once women have sex with a guy, most of us forge a love connection to that man whether he's deserving of it or not. Some women have loved criminals and killers. But it is not a healthy and normal relationship. I feel badly for the lady tied to him by the baby but she doesnt need to have him live with her. You have it easier, you can walk away and not look back and give your heart time to get over him. And everytime you find yourself thinkin of and missing him, tell yourself, we need to stop thinking about him because he is not good for us because of......and list all the things that aren't good. When I say 'us," I mean your conscious and subconscious minds which could easily end up at odds with each other. One knowing this is not a good deal and the subconscious one saying, Oh but I love him and these feelings must mean something.
He needs to be loving in return and sex doesnt equate to love. Lovemaking is a natural outpouring of true love in a relationship but men can have sex and even say I love you without their heart and mind feeling and believing it and our subconscious mind being where our emotions come from, is too wrapped up in feelings sometimes to be able to clearly see our situation.
As someone else already said and I spent time explaining why, start running the other way and get away from this guy as quickly as you can unless you want your own life going downhill and your health too for as long as you stay.
Hi my name's Nick and I have a friend who I really like, (for reasons that are pretty obvious let's just say her name is Les) but there also some complications. "Les" is different than most girls. I can't read her facial expressions like I can with most and she isn't intimated by my usual personality. Which is propably why i like her so much. But anyway, the problem I'm having is that like 3/4 of "Les's" friends are other guys! So i absolutely cannot tell what she thinks of me. Any advice on how to see if she's interested, and if so how to ultimatley ask her out? (I also feel i should mention that she likes to horseplay around me, like she sometimes takes my stuff and then throws it into the bushes just to give herself enough time to drop her backpack and chase me (in a friendly and joking manner of course) and just the other day she was grabbing me from behind and trying to make me fall over. Which I kinda like. I'm a Leo. I need to have someone that isn't affected by my outer shell. So... Any Advice?
As long as you can feel secure as a male and not being jealous by other guys who interact with her, then all should be well. Some girls gravitate more to making friends with males than females as well as males who have more female friends than male ones. There is nothing wrong with that. Both my husband and I are like that so it is important that first off we both were self confident and confident in what we have together to know that neither is looking for a replacement.
In your case, there's no 'relationship' yet other than being school friends. She is definitely comfortable around you, an important thing in having a closer relationship than just friendship.
The question is whether she does all the things you say she does to you or around you and does the same with all her other guy friends. If so, that is part of her personality in how she interacts with ALL people. Otherwise, if its pretty much just you or only one other guy, then she's more interested in you or the one other.
So the thing to do is to ask her out yourself. Dont have someone else ask for you. Depending on your age, I am guessing, not HS age yet but i could be wrong. This means non driving teens and so going out together on a date is quite limited to more just hanging out together on a walk, at the local park, at each others homes. Her parents may have dating restrictions that she cant date until a certain age. You might want to find out after asking her, if her parents let her date. If not, the thing to try is to see if she would be allowed to have you come over when they are home, just as a school friend, not a boyfriend. Parents can get stuck on the term 'boyfriend' even if tho at your age, the most you'll be doing is hanging out as friends with the little bit of romance to it, like kissing and holding hands.
I'm 16 years old about to be 17 and I wouldn't say I'm extremely overweight but I'm defiantly not petite. I'm really tall as well so I'm not sure if this has anything to do with it. I'm pregnant and I hid my whole pregnancy I'm around 7-8 months and my belly is showing but I feel like other people are bigger by this time. Baby is always active, I'm taking prenatal vitamins and I have my first appointment Monday with a gynecologist, I was first just in a regular clinic. I'm not sure if it's normal to feel small? When I eat my stomach definitely pops more it feels like my inne belly button is about to pop out. I know everyone's different but it just worries me.
I had only daughters but knew of friends who had boys and when carrying them, didn't hardly look pregnant even up to delivery time. The difference is in how the baby tends to lay inside. Instead of head and butt up or down so that the spine or the butt sticks out bumping out the tummy more, they preferred laying side to side across the stomach. Then again, baby could be small. I believe how big the water sac is could effect how one shows a little but most often, the baby prefers resting in you from one hip to the other rather than the other way which shows a heck of a lot more.
I have sex for the first time 4 weeks ago. Used a condom but he didn't get the chance to release anyways because someone walked in. I am now 2 weeks late on my period and it's literally impossible to be pregnant. Sometimes I feel like it's about to happen but it's always a false alarm. Please help me figure this out..
I'm 18 and from Canada
A pregnancy test will let you know for sure if you are or aren't expecting.
Just for facts on late periods, it isn't always pregnancy that makes it late. It can be late due to stress, due to having been recently ill or currently ill. The stress on the body of fighting a cold and flu to get better means all energy and focus is diverted from the regular period to fighting the cold.
Females who spend alot of time around other females can find their bodies changing the time of the period to coincide with the times the other females are having it. For this to happen, your period can start lots sooner than usual or later than, but only within weeks of your normal period.
Wearing a condom makes it pretty much impossible to get pregnant. However, there is plenty of sexual play where a condom is not worn yet, for oral sex or mutual masturbation. If any precum on the tip of his penis got on your or his hands and immediately transfered to your vagina, theres enough sperm in precum to get pregnant by IF you are fertile during that time.
Because these are ways that a gal can still get pregnant, I believe it best to use some birth control other than condoms. Females can go see the Dr. and find out whats available. Pills seem the most popular to prescribe. Some girls have sides effects to Hormonal birth control. There are other options but the safest one in preventing pregnancy, least fuss and bother, and the most cost effective in long run is the copper IUD. There are hormonal ones now too. But IUDS are inserted by Dr. and remain inside and are good for 8-10 years if you want to wear one that long. Its always there, you still get regular periods if using the copper one and when wanting to have kids, can start trying as soon as its removed with no adjustment period for your body. Wearing one of these since you are now 18 means that you are ready and protected at any time, no matter if you have a boyfriend or theres a period of time you don't have one. Since we cant predict when we may be in our next relationship, there's no waiting period when taking the pill of a week or two for it to build up in your body enough to be effective, or having to go for shots when those wear out, or condoms breaking or slipping off, or a diaphragm not inserted correctly and sperm sneaking past it and the spermicide, etc. I mention all those as I've tried them and they're a hassle but I loved being on the iud so If not pregnant, and I were you, I'd talk to my dr. and make a choice for some better birth control.
Is it too late to talk to my crush? I'm 17, and we're both juniors. Let's just call him M.T. We are both shy (him being more painfully shy than me). At school in the music room is where we see each other most often. It is obvious the way he looks at me each time I enter the room that he is interested in me. I liked him a lot in the beginning, but then my infatuation with him died down a bit. This was due to him being too timid to talk to me. My parents encourage me to be the old fashioned girl and let him talk to me first. This situation has been going on for two or three months. Am wondering if he's worth my time and how to go about this.
What worked for your parents generation doesn't work for all people and certainly not in this generation.
I'll also say things aren't any different today than when I was a teen as far as lack of self confidence and worry about being liked and accepted.
Often this kind of worry holds us back from taking chances and just facing our fears. If your parents are okay with you dating at this age, then make the first move. Its easier to ask first than wait for him. Guys like to be complimented, same as gals, but they also like to be needed or helpful in some way...as simple as "can you help me open this jar?" So if you have something he could help you with, start the conversation with that as main focus. Or,Let him know you like his humor and friendliness and since he's such a fun person, you'd like to get together with him, maybe set a time to hang out at a pizza place, or heck, just share and play some of your favorite music and bands from your collection while you just chill together. I am sure he's just waiting for you to make the first move.
Once you've both been talking, you can let him know you have old fashioned parents who feel the girl should let the guy make the first move and in ways he did with the teasing and such but it wasn't to talk to or ask to spend time with. Ask if he wouldn't mind helping you with the parents, by pretending that he talked to you first. Its such a little thing, makes your parents happy, cus they may be concerned there is something wrong if a guy won't talk to a girl first...but its just that they've forgotten how it was like at that age and that not every gal and guy are the same and some are just not as bold.
there is this guy lets call him Rudy well when I was in English class ( well I sit next to him) our teacher gave us a mini quiz and so while doing it he hit me with a rubber band but on my thigh and every time he playfully teases me and he kicks me and I do too but he is always making me laugh and always saying nasty things and I think he likes me cause he always looks at me and smiles at me he teases me a lot he touches me playfully a lot and he always listens to me I need help do u think he likes me ...................................................................................... please answer no sooner than later I need help now does he like me or not
Of course he likes you and he's not just giving off one clue but many. He's really waiting now for you to make the first move. Those are great guys to find. My current 2nd husband was like that with me
So ask him if he'd like to hang out with you. If he says yes, don't say okay, lets do it sometime...pick a day and time and what you will do. Trade numbers and try to make sure that you do more actual talking than texting for convo's. When he see's you like being around him or even better, you tell him with compliments that you enjoy his friendship, his humour, etc... people like being aroun those who compliment and treat them nice. If he doesnt ask you out soon after you hang out as friends, I'd be surprised. But if he's shy or being careful, it's possible. Then you ask him out.
I really like this boy in my class. He is super sweet and I have known him for a long time. I have liked him for as long as I can remember, and he used t like me too. Last year, I traveled, and did not go to the school that we both go to. When I was gone, he liked me, but now that I am back, I am not so sure. He likes another girl, and we are complete opposites! He isn't in any of my classes (except 1) and knows I like him. How do I get him to finally like me again? Him and this other girl are all anyone is talking about, but I just feel awkward whenever anyone brings it up. Is there ever a chance with him?
I could guess here that by mentioning 'liking' someone that it means going together as a couple. To me, liking someone can mean many things. I like my job, I like my friends, I like Mexican food but when I've ever dated, I never called it liking someone. I assume you are saying that he used to date you, now he is dating someone else.
If so, then a good chance why he may not approach you just as a friend is to not step on any toes and offend his current girlfriend or make her angry.
I understand questioning why he can be so into someone so different from you. If you allow yourself to think negative thoughts about this and wonder how you are lacking, you'll only be miserable. What you need to know is that this is part of the dating process. Dating forever isn't just an option to not getting married. Dating is a process of spending more time with a person you are attracted to and like some general things about but want to discover more about the person to see if both of you still like each other enough to want to spend more time together. So dating can end in commitment or in deciding to split and look elsewhere. Its not a matter of a person lacking something that someone else has as much as it is about just finding the person who is best for you. This can take many years and many dating partners for you to accomplish learning just what it is you like best in a partner. Always strive to go for something better with the next person instead of settling for less.
Now, if by liking, you meant that he liked you but never dated you and he likes her but has not asked her to be his girlfriend, then hon, he's free game. And if so, how to get him noticing you...well its not like he hasn't noticed you in the past. If this time around, now that you are back, you want to date him, and provided he still likes you in that way, yes, its possible for a person to like two people at the same time until they finally make a decision for one.
So what would make the difference? Lots of young people are always worried about others liking them, being accepted, so the people who draw the most attention and friends are the ones who are self confident or just act self confident until found out otherwise. As a female, I can tell you that self confidence works at any age. After a divorce, when I went on a dating site to find my next boyfriend or if lucky, next husband, I didn't chase after the guys, I didn't act desperate and try to be the lady they wanted. I switched the tables on them by letting them know what it was I was looking for in a guy and providing a list of criteria they had to meet to even bother writing to me. I had so many guys coming after me, it made my head spin. I have my husband now but because I am still a confident woman, I still get guys staring at me and a few bold ones trying to get me to agree to be in a relationship with them.
If you want to know how to gain that self confidence, write me and I'll tell you. At the very least, if your friend doesn't come back to you, it wasnt meant to be but with self confidence, you'll be attracting the attention of some other guys.
I have a swarm of fruit flies in my kitchen and I don't know how to get rid of them! I tried putting out a cup of cider vinegar yesterday..... the flies are buzzing around it but won't actually go into the vinegar.
A fruit particularly known for bringing fruit fly eggs into your home is the banana. I've read that the stems of the banana is where fruit flies lay their eggs. Grocery stores are cooler than ones home so once you bring bananas home, either cut off all stem to just about where the fruit would start or cover that part in plastic and tape in place.
The one idea on how to get rid of them is good. I never created a contraption. All I did was leave a couple pieces of fruit or melon rinds on a flat plate that I could easily cup and upside down smaller plastic bowl over to trap them. I'd only have to wait minutes before the fruit was covered with swarms of fruit flies, then sneak slowly up to it with bowl in hand and once close enough, quickly slam bowl down trapping them and carry them outside. I've used the housefly pest strips and only caught houseflys with it, no fruit flies. They only like going after fruit or fruit juices.
Another thing to keep in mind is trash:
If you have and fruit peelings and unwanted fruit bits, do not throw into your regular kitchen garbage can. I know a family who came up with a good solution to this. They had a large crock jar on their counter top where anything moist, wet, fruit or veggie related, even coffee grounds, went in. It has the lid ringed by metal with a part which when lifted up, releases the rubber seal on edges and opens top of the crockery jar and if snapped down in place, locks it so tight no air can get in and no flies either. They took the contents of jar out to a compost pile at the back of their yard. Or for apartments, you'd have to remember to empty the contents into a kitchen trash bag of its own and immediately tie knots in the plastic to seal contents in and put it out for trash pick up.
While having fore play, pressed the Brest little heavy. Now it's become little reddish brown blood clot. Will the clot reduce or need any steps to reduce it.. It pains a lot. Help me
What you are talking about is different than blood clots that can form in the veins and be dangerous if traveling to the heart.
When we bump something hard, it can leave bruises on our skin, also caused by blood, but pooling into the tissues around the area of body that recieved bruising.
Sometimes, it can be more of a pinch like a part of finger getting caught or slammed so an instant blood blister forms. These are not life threatening and go away on their own.
Then there are some people, like my mom, who bruised much more easily than others. Just someone grabbing her arm hard or her pressing a part of her body hard against a surface where no one else would recieve a bruise from, she did. But in checkups, Drs. found nothing medically wrong where this could be a symptom of something critical.
If you tend to bruise easily, then this likely is just another case. You might at some point want to ask your Dr. about your ability to bruise too easily.Otherwise, use this as a lesson of how muc intensity you can go for in sex before you may bruise if you want to avoid that. Another form of blood related marks on the body are hickeys, causing by sucking too long and hard on one specific spot of the body which pulls blood to the surface where it is easily now visible as a mark.
I'm currently in Grade 12. Most people are excited to graduate, but I am dreading graduation. Let me explain my situation, and then can anyone help me?
I'm pretty much terrified. University is going to be so much different, and I won't have my friends around. I haven't had to face a single day of school without them since the first day of kindergarten, and even then I was introduced to my one BFF within like the first 5 minutes, and another of my BFFs within like 30 min. Like I'm going to be so lost without them!
Starting high school was sorta scary, but I knew it would be fine cuz half the teachers go to my church and already know me and almost half of the gr 9 class was from my grade school, and besides all that, I HAD MY 3 BEST FRIENDS!!!! I honestly have no clue how to survive without them! I am basically totally socially inept and I only ever attend any kind of social gathering because they are there! None of them even considered applying to the same schools as me cuz I'm applying to Christian universities, and they are all going public. But I need them!
And seriously, sometimes I feel like I should decide to go to the university in my town so that I will always be around whenever they come home.(They are each going about 1 hour away from home) But the rest of the time I am pretty certain that school is NOT the place for me, and that I would WAY rather go to one of the other two schools I applied to, which are 3 and 6 hours away, but it is so hard!
I just don't know how I will live without those girls. And it kind of breaks my heart to think that we will make new friends...I mean I've been friends with my one BFF pretty much from birth, and two of the others since kindergarten! I've only ever added to my circle of friends (and only in kindergarten and in Grade 9), I've never lost contact with a close friend. Like that's more than 12 YEARS OF HISTORY! All our inside jokes, all the stuff they know about me that I've never told anyone else, the way we know what each other need without even needing to say so....I can't imagine not having that!
Even now I find it difficult when I am in one class without any of them. ONE CLASS! and next year it's going to be the ENTIRE YEAR! AND THE ENTIRE YEAR AFTER THAT! I mean I'm sure we will see each other sometimes, but what if I go to the school that's 6 HOURS AWAY! How often will I be able to make it home? And how often will I be able to make it home at the same time that my friends aren't too busy! I just don't know! I feel ostracized if I don't see them for a weekend now...how am I going to manage going weeks without them? I am quite simply terrified!
So yeah....I'm pretty scared and it's already starting to stress me out now. It's like my 4 girls are the bubble I've lived in for my entire life. I don't know how to live outside of them. What do I do? How do I keep from being so stressed out? How do I make things easier for myself when I do graduate and go off to university?
From HS thru college, young people grow tremendously, and often go and grow in directions different than those of their childhood friends. It doesnt mean you abandon each other or never see each other or stay in touch, but it will certainly not be the same as seeing each other every day. I am one who stayed in touch with a best friend even tho we both married and they moved to another state. We only wrote, called and when internet came along, emailed and then FB chat with each other. We've seen each other only twice in person since HS, but I am no longer counting on her as someone to spend lots of time with, I've gone on to make new friends. That is life dear.
For you, it is a bit more scary because from how you described it, sounds like you don't have much self confidence and have leaned on your friends to make up for what is missing inside of you. Think of it like a person who broke both legs in an accident. Of course for some time they need the use of a wheelchair or for lesser damage, crutches for a while. But at some point, you need to go through leg strengthening therapy to regain your ability to walk on your own two feet without the need of crutches or other devices.
In your own life, your friends were your crutches so you are at the point of needing to learn and grow on your own..this is your 'therapy' where you will learn and become stronger as a person and hopefully gain your self confidence. So in your case, I'd say its a good thing none of them will be at your University so that you, like a baby bird being pushed out of the nest and forced to fly, well you are forced to start working with what you already have (your wings are the strengths and talents and such you already possess. ) Its hardest to see our best traits, and boast about ourselves but start making a list. Ask your parents what they see as some of your strongest traits, talents, strengths and ask your girlfriends. You know they'll be honest. When you have that list, write me back with it and I'll see what more I can tell you, how to build upon the list you already have, things to think of, things to try or be open to, and tricks that might help you grow in areas you are weak in too. And I would suggest you start working on these things now rather than wait til your first day at Uni. Hope to hear from you again.
I met this girl in 2014, we didn't really talk to each other until 2015, we still talk occasionally now in 2016 but I've just began developing a crush on her in 2016, and she's became best friends with my enemy, what should I do because I don't want my enemy to tease me about liking her? I'm already friends with the girl (not my enemy, the other one) so I think that will make her tease me even more?
When we are young we often fear what others will think of our actions, afraid of teasing, of not being liked or accepted.
You say she's already someone you don't get along with, sometimes that can be simply having personalitys that clash. If she hated you so much that she'd want things to tease you about to try to make you miserable, then she would have already done so. She doesnt need you becoming a partner with someone to tease you about.
However, if she did, or anyone else ever teases you about that, the thing to remember is that you need to take the fun out of it for them so its no fun to tease you. People will tease once but if they dont see the reward they look for like you denying it or getting beet red and embarassed, or crying or saying "stop saying that" or some other reaction like that, then it is no fun for them. The thing to do if you respond at all is to acknowledge what they tease about with a smile and say something positive and wonderful like, "Yeah, we're dating now, you're really perceptive! So I guess I won't have to make a sign to wear that reads, "I am so and so's girlfriend.
Okay well theres this boy lets call him Sam and well iv'e had a crush on Sam since he moved here at the beginning of the school year, Im 13 and I'm in 7th grade, We have been talking all school year but I am kind of like really shy outside of typing and so his he I am scared to tell him my real feeling for him because I am scared that will ruin our friendship and how he would take it and what if he doesn't like me at all. Like ugh I need advice someone help me please...
What you are feeling is something every single person practically goes thru at your age. When we start having interest in someone of the opposite sex or same sex as a romantic partner, we only know about how to be friends, we have no previous experience with how to act, what to say or how to interpret what others say or mean, etc...
It's like a whole new world, like being abducted from our planet and just dropped without any instructions in the middle of a new planet. Yes, to most of us, it is that foreign.
The good news is that you already know how to be a friend. The other good news is that guys at this age, don't waste time even talking to or being friends with girls unless they like them. So he already likes you as a person. The only thing left to discover is whether he has any feelings stronger than friendship feelings for you.
A good way to go about learning that is to have a talk as friends one day where you ask him, "Hey, what you do think the perfect girlfriend for you would be? And let him know what your perfect boyfriend would be by starting to describe his qualities and then say, I guess my perfect boyfriend would be someone like you. And then you could go further and say, I wouldn't find that hard at all to date you as my boyfriend. What about you? We're already friends. Are you willing to try and see if it could be anything more?
This way of going about it is less scary to a guy than a girl telling a boy that she has developed feelings for him or likes him strongly or thinks she loves him or has a crush on him. Doing it like this makes a guy feel corners as if he HAS TO reciprocate with saying he has the same feelings whether he does or not.
If you leave it open as if these stronger feelings havent happened yet but might develop, then a guy doesnt feel that pressure so much and is more likely to be willing to talk at least if not try. Doing it this way won't ruin a friendship. It is his chance to be brave enough to confess if he already has such feelings for you or that he knows for sure he doesn't have those feelings at all. If the answer is he doesnt have romantic feelings for you, then tho disappointed, you could still have him as a friend as long as you don't start moping around giving him a clue that you already care about him that way, now making him feel uncomfortable.
If you think you can in this case find a way to continue enjoying being friends even if he doesnt want you as a girlfriend, then do so, but I would add as a last comment. "Okay, great, we'll just be friends only. But if your feelings ever do change in the future for me, let me know." The reason to say that is that at this young age range, we change and grow and mature so quickly that who we were 6 months ago or a year or two ago can easily be entirely different, with different likes and different friends and interests.
Well it all started when we were in PE class I was sitting on a stack of chairs and there was another stack that was empty and by the stack was this boy lets call him Michael well To not fall we have to hold on the middle stack so I was about to fall and I put my hand there to get balance and I did it again but this time my hand met someone else and I noticed it was Michael so I saw him turn red and I did also but I burned up a little I just muttered sorry to him and like when that happened his gaze and mine were held for 30 seconds but I was the first one to look away and it happened again just that our eyes met only for 10 seconds I told my guy friend and he told me that if I was burning up when Michael's and my gaze met than that means that I liked him so plz..................... help me I need to know if I like him or if he likes me I'm just so confused
Hon, when we are young and just starting to notice the other sex in a good way, a romantic way, usually just before or at puberty, it is normal for us to find ourselves flustered when near some people of the opposite sex and not with others.
Best way I can describe from my own experiences is that when I felt a certain feeling of excitement around one but not the other, one was more likely a possible romantic interest while the other was only a likely friend. Just liking the feeling you get when around a guy who makes you feel this way, does not mean that you like the whole person, their personality, looks and character, it only means that your body is subconsciously reacting to him as our bodies will do with interest or sexual responses too, like for a girl, feeling your heart or stomach doing flips, heart rate picking up, that wanting to touch but also afraid to touch the person, and feeling tingly and sometimes a gal can get wet in her private parts, a normal body action meaning that what you see sent a message to your brain to self lubricate for sex but it doesnt mean you should have sex, same as each time a boy has an erection, he shouldn't be having sex. We now learn how to control those bodily responses and only use them when appropriate and only with the one person with whom we have a love relationship and of course are old enough to handle the responsibilites of birth control, etc...
I can't tell you that you will like him for certain if you get a chance to spend any time getting to know him better or if he will feel the same. Right now, you both are embarassed by the feelings you are having so I can't say either of you are ready to approach and just talk and befriend each other, but thats where you should start, and see where it goes. If either of you decide you liked each other enough to have those feelings, but really don't have anything in common as friends, then don't stay together as friends. If you both hit it off, then if allowed to date at your age, move on to that.
I'm pregnant with my first child and since Valentine's Day is coming up I want to surprise my boyfriend and ask him to be my Valentine because he's been such a good daddy to be. I want to do it in a way that includes our little boy but not sure how to! I'm 16..
I am confused by your question. You want to surprise him and to me, that means, either you both aren't officially a couple yet and you are asking him or along with giving him a valentine, you want to have a creative way to announce to him he's about to be a father.
Then again you did say he's been such a good daddy to be, so not sure if he's already in the know or not. At 16, some states with parents permission will allow teens to marry but you didn't use that word. So I suppose I need to know what you meant by asking him to 'be your Valentine'. To me, a Valentine as in a person, is someone you already have a love relationship with, have a crush on and want a relationship with. I could ask my husband to be my Valentine but its for me meaningless as he already is. From the sounds of it, I am guessing the daddy to be is already your Valentine. If nothing official has been said or worked out yet, I dont know that as you didn't say. Please clarify what it is that you are to be asking him so I have a clue how to answer
Does riding a guy means having sex too?
There are many slang words and phrases that refer to having sex and riding someone is one of them.
A common saying being passed around facebook is "save a horse, ride a cowboy" with accompanying photo of a hot guy in cowboy gear.
I recently had two big relationships end. One was romantic and the other was a really good friend. Both were guys. Ever since I have just hit a low and I've been in such a funk. I know that's probably common but I can't help but to beat myself up over both. They weren't my fault at all but I feel so unlikable. I think the thing that makes me feel the worst is that I don't think either of them misses me. I feel like I don't and never did mean anything to them. My question is if anyone has ever dealt with this feeling what helped you overcome it and pick yourself back up? Thanks so much in advanced (:
I've had bad romance situations in the past but dear, I was in the different place and more confident of myself and not giving in to self hate, or self beating or distorted thoughts as you are. That hon, is the major problem here.
We all have our faults and at some point in time, when we all meet our mate for life, no matter how perfect we are for each other, there are going to be things about each other that we can choose to let irritate or frustrate us or make us upset or hurt. It all starts with our thought life. While you may not have done anything in the relationships that are bad and could possibly kill a relationship, you may have to come to the point of being willing to really look at yourself to see if there is something about you and your character, how you act that repels instead of attracts people.
I'll give some examples, the most common is being way more shy and introverted than the other person. Think of yourself, have you ever been attracted to befriend people who fade into the background, stare at the ground and won't hold eye contact and can barely say a word to you let alone a whole conversation? This is what I am getting at. While you may not be like this, there could be other things about you that just don't draw the attention of and keep the attention of others. You need this basic step working first before you have a chance of someone wanting to spend enough time around you to have a chance of falling in love with you.
Also, a person can say they like you or love but the power behind those words is lacking because they are using the words more as a preferance, as in I like pizza and I love cheesecake. As much as I love cheesecake, I won't feel like dying if I can no longer have it, but if I were to lose the love of my life, someone who truly was in love with me, I would feel like I was dying inside and life would never be the same. When we are young, we are just starting to learn about the other sex in relationships and what works, what doesnt, and what signs to look for that spell out whether a person has ulterior motives, is mentally ill, is abusive, or is a wonderful person. I didn't know what to look for when younger and married a person who was not a good man. I had to learn the hard way. I didn't even have computers and internet as you do when I was young. So at least you are asking and that is good.
Here is something I learned through my life experiences that might hopefully help you. I needed to learn to really love myself first. Its really all about that bible verse about loving your neighbor as yourself. That means to love all other people in our life (thats who neighbor refers to) we need to follow the model of how we already love ourselves. We may love ourselves in some ways but I discovered one major way I wasn't loving myself was by choosing to remain in a marriage, taking abuse on a daily basis instead of just leaving. I finally woke up one day and realized that I needed to never settle for less again, and if I loved myself, I would do whatever I could to protect myself from the bad behavior of others by not associating with them. When a child and its family, you're stuck until you turn 18 and can leave. Other than that, we have no excuse. So once I left him, everything started falling into place for me. Next was getting back into the dating world and I realized my self confidence wasn't where it shoould be. I practiced by borrowing self confidence of famous actresses, ones I found one little thing about myself that I felt I had in common, for me it was my eyes. But everytime I pictured in my mind being her, everywhere I went, people commented on my eyes. That jump started my own confidence. So when I put myself on a dating site, my self confidence came out in what I wrote. I told people about myself, making no apologies for who I was, just straight and simple, explained who I was at core and therefore, that largely played a role in what I was looking for in a guy. So for the guys, I had a list of criteria they must be able to meet to even write to me, I didn't want them wasting my time otherwise. With what I learned with the ex, I now was older, wiser and knew how to spot warning signs early on. So I did go out with some guys 2 times, maybe 3 but eventually they showed something of their true self by the 2nd or 3rd time that I absolutely would not consider in a guy. For some reason, being so picky and telling guys what I wanted and that no one could make me settle for less or give in, it attracted guys like flies. I then read some articles about men who were tested while in a room with different women, a party I think it was. Some looked like models, some just average and some had good self confidence, some did not. What the study showed was that no matter what the looks of the woman, the men found themselves more attracted to spending time with the ones who had self confidence.
These things are the two things I know that can affect how you attract and keep both friends and partners, outgoing vs shy, and self confidence over lack of confidence. So stop beating yourself up and take some time to write a list about all your good qualities. Be honest and write a few of the areas you really need to work on too. You may discover possibly some things that might be sending messages to others that push them away.
Or again, perhaps you need more help with picking winners as it could just be the last couple people were just bad apples. If you have any more questions, just write me. Good luck.
So there is this boy I guy you could call him a guy bestfriend but his Grandpa died a while ago... He didn't want to talk about it and he has been grieving about it and all he tells me is "its just sad" I know he feels more and I want to help him, what should I say to him... I am a kind of shy person so I really need some stuff to say to him, it is getting worse and worse as the days go on...
everyone goes through grieving in their own way at their own pace. However some people can become stuck. Usually a person does not become worse as in depressed as time goes on. I suppose it depends on how long ago it happened. Just ask him if he is feeling majorly depressed like suicidal over this loss. And keep an eye on him. No matter what he says, not to tell anyone, if you are concerned he may be going down that path, he may need counseling. When my kids grandma died, the hospice care team asked if we'd like a grief counselor to meet with my kids to help them understand and learn how to talk about their feelings and move on. Sometimes boys don't like to show emotions. He may need grief counseling. But that should be up to his parents. If however you fear he may do something drastic, tell your parents, his parents and school counselors so he can get the professional help he needs. You would not want to live on feeling guilty if he got so depressed in his grief that he went down the wrong path and started acting out his grief by stealing, drinking, taking drugs or killing himself. Better a brief anger and telling someone who can get him help. He may not appreciate it now but later, he will.
How to react if a boy asks you out and you don't know them
Have your parents set dating rules in place such as no dating until age ??. That plays a part in whether to accept or not. Generally, girls are so excited to be asked out and have some positive attention from a guy that they accept no matter what. But there are a few cautions to keep in mind.
Looks aren't everything. He can be cute or hot looking on the outside but have a rotten personality on the inside. When it is a strange person you don't know, there is no way to know that. Even if you did know him somewhat, that still isn't enough to know his character which is what dating is for, to get a chance to know the person better to decide what you like and don't like about him or guys in general and start deciding what type of guy you will date in the future and possibly marry in the far future.
The best way I know to get to know someone is to hang out as friends. Jumping that step and moving on to going out as a romantic couple is jumping the gun. Most guys when young are thinking more with their hormones than their brains and a true friendship is last on their minds when it should be first.
If you at least feel attracted to his looks, the next step would be to find out whether he is simply asking you to hang out on a friends basis to Get a Chance to know each other better. Or is he wanting to ask you out with dating and romance in mind, to become a couple. If you don't really care, then take your chances and date a stranger. However keep in mind that abuse is on the rise among teenagers and a high percent of girls have boyfriends who abuse them verbally if not physically. That is something you don't want and theres no way to tell ahead of time with your limited life experience the warning signs if there are any to just avoid him. I married at 20 and the guy ended up being abusive and I couldn't tell ahead of time. Now being much older, I realize there were warning signs but I was to young to be able to notice them.
So it is much wiser to start out as friends.
So my recommendation is to thank him for asking you out but that you'd prefer to get to know him first as friends and then see where that leads.
If he isn't interested in doing so, then his interest in you wasn't anything more than skin deep or sexually. Yes, there still are good guys out there who will become friends first and not pressure you for s ex so you dont have to cave in to that to have a boyfriend. Decide what you want and keep to your standards, not settling for less.
Good luck.
I am a middle school girl and I suffer from severe depression. I experience suicidal thoughts on a regular basis, and find it hard to go for a night without either crying, self-harming, or making an attempt at my own life. I have been bullied for appearance, sexuality, and various other things. I only have one friend, who often times gets me depressed as she also suffers from severe depression. I have attempted to make more friends many times, but to no avail. I'm too scared to tell anyone or ask my parents for a psychologist. What should I do?
Hon, let me tell you as a mom that I still feel real badly that when my daughter started HS, she started having depression and she never told me about it. We only found out when after her first baby, she has post partum depression appear on top of her regular one and thats when she felt like killing herself and her baby even though she knew it wasn't right. We got her in to see her Dr.
I just wish she hadn't needed to suffer all those years in silence. Your parents love you and would feel the same. It is even worse when parents lose a child to suicide. They begin to blame themselves, even tho as in my case, there were no symptoms to see whatsoever and she and I talked all the time, just not about that. Many marriages split up when grieving parents can't get over the grieving and guilt and blame each other instead of leaning on each other in such a time. So if you do nothing and if you have any suicidal thoughts as you wrote, then its serious and not saying anything greatens the chance they would be grieving your death in the near future.
I would also like to mention that since you are in middle school, its a time where most kids are starting or still going through puberty and for some girls whose hormones are too high, instead of just being more emotional, they can become depressed. So it might be a contributing factor.
So I highly recommend that you say something to your parents. Its not your fault you are this way, its beyond your control to do anything about to make it go away. And it doesnt mean you are lacking or broken in any way. The hormone thing happens to a good amount of girls these days and depression is becoming very common place too and I can't say I blame anyone for feeling that. The world and society today is a much harsher, terrible place than it was when I was growing up so its not surprising that so many have depression.
As for being scared, it is normal to be scared of something that you feel greatly but know nothing about, let alone whether you can be cured or lead a normal life. How normal your life will be will depend on alot, what you do tell the parents, they need to know about the bullying and go talk to your principal about it. Bullying is not being tolerated by adults in charge in schools these days if they know about it. You may fear retaliation in which case, the school still needs to know to deal with the bulliers and the parents switch you to another school or perhaps home schooling or a private school like a local Christian school. One of my daughters went to one for a while. Kids will still be normal kids there but the rules are stricter and enforced and parents involved not only in giving time to help in the school but in agreement with the running of the school. Even if religion isn't your thing, it would be the safer place for you.
I want you to show my response to them. They may have their own stresses in life but they love you. so you may see great concern on their faces...as it should be, dont feel guilty about that. They would rather have the chance to deal with helping you any way they can than deciding which casket to buy for your burial.
One last thing I'd like to share, more for them is that I have learned more since my daughters revelation of having depression. I have discovered that there are Psychologists today whose treatment plan is more personalized to the patients real needs. Medication may be used but as a last resort if other methods do not work. One of these methods written about, CBT cognitive behavioral therapy helps both anxieties and depression. I used to have severe social depression as a kid and teen. My last year in high school I was tired of being so shy and lacking confidence. So I prayed and asked God to tell me what to do, see...asking for advice like you are doing here. What I was told to do cured me. I was surprised to read a book recently by Dr. David D. Burns in which he wrote about a recipe for overcoming social anxiety (among other things) and it was exactly the same thing as I had used to get over mine. So if you take care with finding just the right psychologist, it can be a good thing rather than automatically being given drugs where the side effects are just as bad as the depression. If you or the parents are interested I have a link to a website for Dr. Burns. He teaches people about the possible cure out there to give them hope. He is just one person and cant see all but perhaps if the parents can't find a Dr. who used CBT and other therapies, you might find a referrel from asking on his site. Here it is and good luck to you all, Tell your parents hon.
http://feelinggood.com/
I'm a 7th grade girl who is constantly annoyed by her friends. They're REALLY weird and can hurt my feelings a lot of the time. I thought they would be really great friends when I moved here but now they just get on my nerves. In my old house I had soooo many good friends and now I'm starting to get more but I can't get away from my annoying friends without them making a huge scene!
What should I do???
Question is, do you want to be able to stay away from them. If its just that you feel annoyed with their behavior but individually, there are things you still like about each of them, then abandoning them is not the answer.
there's a saying that goes: How do you eat an elephant? One small bite at a time.
What I am trying to say is that perhaps you'd find it easier to be able to handle them one at a time. Be honest and let them know you are going through something emotionally and for the time being can't handle hanging with larger groups all at once. (They don't have to know they are the cause of it as it could actually be in part the hormones of puberty still affecting your emotions and making you much more easily irritated.)
Let them know as a group that you are only going to spend time with one of them at a time and each will get their turn. Thats it, plain and simple. If any one of them doesnt care about you enough to care about you and your request, then you've done your best, walk away from them as a friend and don't associate with them.