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Please help, I liked him more than I thought
Okay well theres this boy lets call him Sam and well iv'e had a crush on Sam since he moved here at the beginning of the school year, Im 13 and I'm in 7th grade, We have been talking all school year but I am kind of like really shy outside of typing and so his he I am scared to tell him my real feeling for him because I am scared that will ruin our friendship and how he would take it and what if he doesn't like me at all. Like ugh I need advice someone help me please...
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What you are feeling is something every single person practically goes thru at your age. When we start having interest in someone of the opposite sex or same sex as a romantic partner, we only know about how to be friends, we have no previous experience with how to act, what to say or how to interpret what others say or mean, etc...
It's like a whole new world, like being abducted from our planet and just dropped without any instructions in the middle of a new planet. Yes, to most of us, it is that foreign.
The good news is that you already know how to be a friend. The other good news is that guys at this age, don't waste time even talking to or being friends with girls unless they like them. So he already likes you as a person. The only thing left to discover is whether he has any feelings stronger than friendship feelings for you.
A good way to go about learning that is to have a talk as friends one day where you ask him, "Hey, what you do think the perfect girlfriend for you would be? And let him know what your perfect boyfriend would be by starting to describe his qualities and then say, I guess my perfect boyfriend would be someone like you. And then you could go further and say, I wouldn't find that hard at all to date you as my boyfriend. What about you? We're already friends. Are you willing to try and see if it could be anything more?
This way of going about it is less scary to a guy than a girl telling a boy that she has developed feelings for him or likes him strongly or thinks she loves him or has a crush on him. Doing it like this makes a guy feel corners as if he HAS TO reciprocate with saying he has the same feelings whether he does or not.
If you leave it open as if these stronger feelings havent happened yet but might develop, then a guy doesnt feel that pressure so much and is more likely to be willing to talk at least if not try. Doing it this way won't ruin a friendship. It is his chance to be brave enough to confess if he already has such feelings for you or that he knows for sure he doesn't have those feelings at all. If the answer is he doesnt have romantic feelings for you, then tho disappointed, you could still have him as a friend as long as you don't start moping around giving him a clue that you already care about him that way, now making him feel uncomfortable.
If you think you can in this case find a way to continue enjoying being friends even if he doesnt want you as a girlfriend, then do so, but I would add as a last comment. "Okay, great, we'll just be friends only. But if your feelings ever do change in the future for me, let me know." The reason to say that is that at this young age range, we change and grow and mature so quickly that who we were 6 months ago or a year or two ago can easily be entirely different, with different likes and different friends and interests.
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