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Please help now.. its important,
So there is this boy I guy you could call him a guy bestfriend but his Grandpa died a while ago... He didn't want to talk about it and he has been grieving about it and all he tells me is "its just sad" I know he feels more and I want to help him, what should I say to him... I am a kind of shy person so I really need some stuff to say to him, it is getting worse and worse as the days go on...
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Well first off im really sorry her lost someone like that. Its hard to take a death in the family and even more so when your close to that person.
Heres the problem first ok....you cant shove your "help" down someones throat ok, so just remember that going into all this. He may still be in alot of shock and thats why he feels like he just doesnt even want to talk about it right now because that would make it more real and hes not ready for it to be yet.
Secondly, everyone grieves in their own way, and alot of times youll find that males arent as well trained in dealing with or talking about deep emotions so he might be really looking inward right now and questioning alot of things. This is totally natural after someone dies.
What you CAN do is tell him that your here to listen if he needs to talk without judgement. If you go to the grampas funeral or any type of ceremony for him with your friend then bring something along or remind your friend that the best thing you can do is little things to honor his memory and through this, you can always feel close to him and keep his memory alive. you can buy flowers to bring to the ceremony to give to his family.
Let him know that you understand loss and that it can be hard to deal with and tell him about when someone you know passed away. Let him know that you know this is obviously not the same as his situation but that death or loss touches everyone. Its True, we all have someone that was special to us (friend or family) that lost their lives for one reason or another.
Give him time, and if your with him and he wants to talk just sit and listen and say "yeah.....awwww.....i can understand where your coming from" things like that.
good luck ; )
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everyone goes through grieving in their own way at their own pace. However some people can become stuck. Usually a person does not become worse as in depressed as time goes on. I suppose it depends on how long ago it happened. Just ask him if he is feeling majorly depressed like suicidal over this loss. And keep an eye on him. No matter what he says, not to tell anyone, if you are concerned he may be going down that path, he may need counseling. When my kids grandma died, the hospice care team asked if we'd like a grief counselor to meet with my kids to help them understand and learn how to talk about their feelings and move on. Sometimes boys don't like to show emotions. He may need grief counseling. But that should be up to his parents. If however you fear he may do something drastic, tell your parents, his parents and school counselors so he can get the professional help he needs. You would not want to live on feeling guilty if he got so depressed in his grief that he went down the wrong path and started acting out his grief by stealing, drinking, taking drugs or killing himself. Better a brief anger and telling someone who can get him help. He may not appreciate it now but later, he will.
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