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what to do.
So I have been dating this dude since October of last year.I fell in love very fast its just IMA Taurus and we love hard n fast.but anyway I been dating him for months now I actually moved in with him and his baby mother and daughter. Long story short me and his baby mother are very cool she found out we was messing with each other she flipped out or whatever but some how me and him persuaded her that we wasn't and now me and him are into it because he is a Taurus like me and I ignored him he put me out we didn't speak now we starting to come around a little bit and I just feel like I don't know what to do BTW his daughter loves and adore me he even got his baby mama acting like me and he is controlling sometimes like he just want everything his way idk I'm just confused like should I try to get back in a relationship with him or not I want him to leave his babymama but I like her too ad a friend you know I just need advice right now
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If he lives with the babys mother, thats one thing, a tie was made to that baby forever and he will be responsible for child support at the very least if he cant get along with the mother and doesnt want to be with her forever. He doesnt have to live with her to provide child support.
There's no mention of whether he is married. If he's cheating on his wife with you, that is not a good situation. If he isn't married but made a commitment to her to be her man and be there as that and husband to their child and be a family, then you are the 3rd wheel and again, anything he does with you is considered cheating on her.
If he is the kind of guy who isn't of a moral fiber, not mature, hasn't grown up to be a man in responsibilites no matter his age, then he is not capable of making a commitment to her or you or the child. The child is the only one who lucks out that there is a law that will force him to at least pay child support. But there is nothing forcing him to decide to be a man and commit to one woman.
Therefore, my opinion is that he is BAD news. Seems like he's wanting to gather his own mini harem under one roof, all for his own pleasure without concerns to really taking care of the people involved.
I'm not saying that polygamy, one man with several women/wives is wrong but that man has to be capable of being a trustworthy, grown man who will take care of the needs of all and make sure to not hurt anyone in the process if all the women are okay with the arrangement.
And hon, That's not whats going on here. If he has decided to hide the true nature of your relationship from the other gal, he's dishonest for one. Honesty and trustworthiness is very important in a relationship and that's already lacking. If he has the persuasion of force to get another woman to act differently than who she is just cus it pleases him, that is also wrong.
Hon, its important to realize that finding a person you dont have to change to be perfect for you is Very important. Someone who expects her or you to change who you are personality wise and at core with values, beliefs, etc... is nothing but a controller. I had an ex like that. So I know what I am talking about. I learned the hard way, sticking with him trying to make things work, doing everything he asked, and changing even who I was but trying to please him changed with his moods. What he thought he liked one day, changed next week. I was nothing more than his marionette puppet with him yanking the strings. If you want to live this kind of life, I can't stop you. But since I've been there, I can tell you what to expect down the road and it ain't good.
At some point you will begin to resent him, a natural subconscious reaction to being forced to change for him. Or if you, then maybe the other girl cracks first, but you will eventually, whether there is another girl or not.
Stress....yes a situation like this is stressful. Stress unchecked over time can have effects on your health physical and mental. Luckily I didnt cave in and have emotional problems but the stress caused headaches, some migraines, all over body itchy stress created rashes, stomach ulcers and high blood pressure. You won't see it creeppinhg up on you cus handling the stress on a day to day basis or weekly, monthly even a year at a time seems a doable thing. But if you think your body can hold up to never ending stress like that for 5, 10, 20 30 years, you are fooling yourself. the headaches came immediately first and the other stuff began to show at 10 yrs and on.
Lets talk about the guy and what happens to him when a girl changes who she is to please him, does whatever he says as he orders you around, with controlling behavior.
Basically, he's temporarily fooling himself that it makes him happy cus this happiness dont last. He will subconscious find hisself irritated at the fact that the female isn't her true self and lose respect for her and that snowballs into finding all sorts of things wrong with her and the blame game, even though he startd and caused it all by controlling behavior and the females choosing to give over control of their life to him. In his resentment, verbal abuse rose and towards the end he started physical abuse as well. Some may start right off the bat. He may be one of those people like my ex, impossible to please. A catch-22 situation where no matter what you do, even if all you do is everything he's ordered you to do, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Thats not living life...thats living in prison without bars.
You need to understand that once women have sex with a guy, most of us forge a love connection to that man whether he's deserving of it or not. Some women have loved criminals and killers. But it is not a healthy and normal relationship. I feel badly for the lady tied to him by the baby but she doesnt need to have him live with her. You have it easier, you can walk away and not look back and give your heart time to get over him. And everytime you find yourself thinkin of and missing him, tell yourself, we need to stop thinking about him because he is not good for us because of......and list all the things that aren't good. When I say 'us," I mean your conscious and subconscious minds which could easily end up at odds with each other. One knowing this is not a good deal and the subconscious one saying, Oh but I love him and these feelings must mean something.
He needs to be loving in return and sex doesnt equate to love. Lovemaking is a natural outpouring of true love in a relationship but men can have sex and even say I love you without their heart and mind feeling and believing it and our subconscious mind being where our emotions come from, is too wrapped up in feelings sometimes to be able to clearly see our situation.
As someone else already said and I spent time explaining why, start running the other way and get away from this guy as quickly as you can unless you want your own life going downhill and your health too for as long as you stay.
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NO!!!!!!!! stay out of it, why would you want another woman's man especially when they have a daughter together, that's not right, your better then that aren't you??? Come on, you know the guy never leaves his girlfriend/wife for the other woman especially when a child's involved, that guy is just selfish and wants whatever he can get. You don't love him you just love the attention he gives you, use your head even if he did leave the baby momma for you do you honestly think he wouldn't do the same thing to you?? and start sleeping with your friends it's common sense, if you really were a friend I'd leave that man alone plus why would you want to be with someone who is controlling that's something you shouldnt want in a relationship..... find someone else someone who's single and will treat you right and ONLY wants you, I'm sorry I had to be so blunt but sometimes that's all that works it's only right you don't need that, he isn't a good guy he's a dog and dogs don't make for good boyfriends
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