Gender:
MaleMember Since:
June 18, 2009Answers:
8136Last Update:
May 26, 2019Visitors:
140680Favorite Columnists
karenR
AyyItsKristen
Erinn_the_bamf
Xui
storageanddisposal
lvr
Smartone
bewise
GradingCurve
anonymous99
HildaJrCarter
more...
Main Categories:
General Sex Questions
Abusive Relationships
Cooking
View All
about
My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
The preachers wife is having her first baby its a girl and the baby shower is this sunday and I have no idea what to get her she's 24 around my age if that helps I am 25. Does any bidy have any ideas
New mothers need everything. Ask the person giving the shower if the mom to be is registered anywhere. Many baby boutiques have online registries for new moms. If so then you can pick something you can afford off the registry or chip in with others for a more expensive gift that she and Pastor may not be able to afford themselves. Maybe a baby carriage or car seat, which in every state is a must have just to bring the baby home in.
Note: If buying a car seat do not buy one second hand. In most states it is illegal to sell them second hand as you cannot tell if the seat has been made unsafe in an accident.
As a last resort you can always ask the mother to be what she may need for the baby. As the Preachers wife I'm sure she will be expecting that the congregation will be arranging a baby shower so you won't be giving away any surprise by asking. The surprise will be the when of the event not the event itself.
ok so my best friend is 15 and i'm 13. we have been best friends for 5 years and we have helped each other through everything. we know everything about each other and have great trust. I know he really likes me and I really like him. He has asked me out twice but ive said no cause ive got scared. I don't know if the age difference is to much or if I should go for it. I don't like anyone else and its not like im desperate and NEED a boyfriend but I really like him. we are both still virgins and he doesn't ever really show that he would pressure me into anything just a typical teenage boy but I trust him. what should I do?
IF you were my daughter and you want to date him in the true definition of dating; my answer would be no you should not and cannot date him as you are too young. Now in today's world you young people have a different definition for dating than we did. If you mean by dating that He walks you to school, you hang out together with friends at school and when you are together as a group. This would be okay with me.
While a 2 year difference in age is no big deal down the road when you are older; right now the age difference is equivalent to spanning the Grand Canyon. He is two years more mature than you, has a lot more experience with dating then you have and experience you need to gain by going through the process he has already been through. For a girl this process is a little more restrictive than for boys for the obvious reason and is also why you should not skip this step and jump into dating older boy.
I believe you know in your heart that dating a 15 year old is not right and your parents if they knew or found out would object. This is the reason you are writing us. My suggestion is you sit down with mom and talk with her about dating. A good way to do this is to ask mom for some you and mom time, maybe a trip to the mall together for shopping or just lunch out someplace. Tell mom you need some girl talk time. When you are together simply tell her boys are asking for dates and you don't know what to say or do. Then sit and listen to mom.
You may not like the answers, just remember this. You are the minor and like it or not you must live by their rules. Mom and dad will lighten up on some of the rules for dating when they learn they can trust your judgment. This trust is something all children have to earn, it does not come with the territory of being their daughter or son.
Listen to what mom says, ask questions but the responsible thing, the trustworthy thing to do is not to argue or start screaming she is being unfair. You can ask if there will be exceptions to any rule you fine unjust. Then go from their. This is how you will build trust with mom and dad and earn the right to date somewhat as you please sooner rather than later.
Ok, so my step-sister gave me a doorknob (we are both 13) and she asked me to do more to her feet and fuck her. I really don't know what to do right now because she already knows I liked the doorknob she gave me. Please help.
I'm not understanding the doorknob thing but that's okay. Sex with a step-sibling is okay as you two are not related by blood.
What is not okay is two 13 year old step-siblings or any other 13 year olds engaging in sexual intercourse. You are both far too young to be doing this kind of sex. I'm not even sure mutual masturbation is right at your age.
You two have plenty of time to explore the world of sex. I understand you have sexual urges and that you may believe it is safer to have sex between you than with others your age. It is not safer. Even with condom use pregnancy is still a concern as a condom, when worn correctly, are only 80% effective in preventing pregnancy. Sex between you may be safe as far as STDS and HIV/AIDS but it does not limit the problem of pregnancy and she is too young to get birth control pills.
What you should be doing at this age is exploring your sexuality through masturbation and fantasy. Contrary to what many parents tell their kids there is nothing wrong with masturbation. It is healthy, it is safe and most of all it relieves the sexual tension you are feeling which is brought on by puberty.
According to a recent survey 85% of the population from the age of puberty and older masturbate. Your parents most likely masturbate. They do so when the have sex which is called mutual masturbation. Hand jobs, fingering and oral sex all come under the heading of masturbation. Anything that would lead to a climax or a climax for either partner would come under the heading of masturbating or mutual masturbation. Masturbation is not a sin. Most religions do not condone it, just as parent don't but it is not sinful. Not even the Catholic church finds it sinful.
My advice is that in a few years, hopefully 4 or more, if you and your step sister still want to have sex, this would not be incest and nothing illegal or sinful about it. Until then you two should stick to masturbation or at worst mutual masturbation for sexual relief. The sexual tension you feel is normal as this is caused by hormones brought out by puberty. Masturbation would be normal and as I said it is healthy. Sexual intercourse at your age is not normal and it is dangerous.
I would like to have her old guy friend to move out of the way so I can start. Rebuilding my relationship back as soon as possible with out beating him or with out getting her mad need to do in a few days or weeks and not come back /or for a while
Not sure what you are asking here. If you are asking how to get the boyfriend to move on you have not given enough information to advise you on. We need more information as to what is going on with him and her as to the status of their present relationship? How she may feel about him? What caused you two to break up? What the status of your relationship with her is? As well as any other relevant information you have to offer.
M/15
So most of the time I hang out with my freinds the subject of who would you have sex with comes up. My freinds usaly have a mental numbered list of who they want to have sex with and are shock when I reveal to them that I dont really think about that to much. Also they dont want a relationship with the people they want to have sex with. They just want to bang them and move to then next one and I feel like that thats messed up and it kinds makes me mad when they talk about girls like that. When I think of some one I care about I think of how we would spend time together or how I can make them feel like they are special to me. Dose that make me strange?
No you are not strange, you are more sensitive and more mature than your friends. Sex is not a game to see how many points you can score. Sex with the right person at the right time is a way of sharing your feelings for that person.
Yes you can have sex at anytime and it be meaningless. Just away to rid yourself of sexual tension. You will receive the same amount of pleasure from it as if you masturbated. Sex with a person you have feelings for, someone you feel you may want to share your life with. That sex is far more pleasurable than empty sex.
Look at in this way. Sex just to rid yourself of sexual energy is the same as having a salad for lunch. Just empty calories to ward off hunger. Sex with someone you have real feelings for is like having a steak sandwich for lunch; far more fulfilling.
You my friend are looking at sex from the standpoint of the steak sandwich. This makes you standout from the crowd. Once a girl or girls learn this about you. That you are not the type to be all hands you will have no trouble dating and if you have true feelings for her and things move towards having sex. You have a better chance of actually getting sexual intercourse from your girl.
Most of those guys who are running off at the mouth right now. IF they are lucky a girl might give them a hand job just to shut them up. If they are really lucky they might get a blow job. You are too young to know this but former President Clinton once said a blow job isn't sex.
Your buds are blowhards that will learn the hard way. stick to your principals and you will do fine in every aspect of life including sex.
I want to have sex but I don't want to get pregnant. I'm only 13 almost 14. If there is anyone that will do this with me secretly please do. Parents cannot find out.
Young lady time for some grandfatherly advice. Since I am old enough to be your grandfather I am going to offer some to you.
First: We are not a dating sight. We answer questions people might have based on our wisdom, age and life experiences.
Second: You are way too young to be having or looking to have sex. The problem you have is your horny and that is understandable. You have entered puberty. You have a host of new hormones, hence the word horny, floating through you. You have an extreme amount of sexual energy that needs release.
As adults, parents and grandparents we know this, we have been there. What we tell you is DON'T HAVE SEX YOU'RE TOO YOUNG. This is correct but we also don't tell you or tell you not to do what is safe to do to discharge this sexual energy. (More on this in bit.)
Third: Sex at your age is not only wrong it could be harmful. Yes your body may have the womanly curves and breast. Your vagina, your sexual organ though is still that of a child. It has probably not received the hormones that unlock the muscles which allow your vagina to expand and accept a penis.
IF you were to have sex with a boy with a large penis who forces himself into you. He could tear those muscles and you will never have good comfortable sex later in life. This is what is so horrible with child rapists besides the fact it is just plain sick. When you are older the hormones will be released and sex will be more comfortable, even the first time.
Fourth: Right now at 13 you cannot legally buy condoms or any type of birth control. When you're older you can. It is very important not just for birth control but to prevent most STDS and the HIV/Aids virus that a condom always be used. How are you going to prevent pregnancy if you are not old enough to by even a condom?
Masturbation: Masturbation, fingering yourself is the safest way to experience sexual relief for someone your age. You do so in the privacy of your bedroom or your evening bath or morning shower. Masturbation is safe and it is just as pleasurable as intercourse when done properly.
For reasons I do not understand parents tell children not to masturbate. Yet in a recent survey 85 of the population, teenage to adult masturbate. Masturbation is not a sin. Even the Catholic church does not consider it a sin. It is not condone, most religions do not condone it, though there is no reference in any Bible to condone, not condone or make it a sin.
My advice is not to go looking for sex, you're too young. Masturbate instead.
I work in a good company and recently, i found out that my ex boyfriend who I had a bad break up with sent his resume to the company as well, actually someone in the company who is also his friend brought the resume..He came for the interview and he practically got it, until i told the human resource manager that i couldn't work with him, so she spoke with the manager about it and they didn't give him the job. now i feel so bad that i caused it bcos he feels i had something to do with it, and also the friend, but i was trying to protect myself and avoiding any clash or past memories while seeing him... i don't know what to do.....
You did the right thing. You advised Human Resources that you and their potential new hire had bad feelings between you. You as a known value are more valuable to an employer than a new hire would be. There probably were several choices for the position. By advising Human Resources of a potential conflict between you two you allowed them decide who was more valuable to them, you or the new hire and allowed them to avoid any conflicts that could arise and disrupt the workflow.
As for the ex he had to know where you worked if you held this job while you two were dating. If he did he had to know that there was a possibility you would object on grounds he would cause a disruption in the workplace for you. He had no guarantees in getting the job and if he was the one who caused the break between you then he had to expect this could happen.
I would not feel all that bad for him. If your company was willing to hire him; I'm sure there are other companies out there who will also offer him a position. You did the right thing in protecting your company and yourself from conflicts in the workplace. In doing so you also showed yourself how valuable you are to your employer.
I dont wanna hear about how selfish i am, or how I shouldnt do this bla bla. I dont want to be here anymore. I'm not going anywhere. I have no future. I have been depressed for years. Ive tried everything. The little family that I have hates me, I've been bullied my whole life, I was diagnosed with psychosis a year ago. I'm homeless now. I don't want to be here anymore. I feel like a burden and it would be easier for everyone if I died. Sometimes I wish I could just die in a fast car accident
You are aware that we do not help people die. What we do is help people live. I know you live in Texas. What I am not sure of his how old you are. I think you are somewhere in your late teens to early twenties.
In Texas is you go to www.WelfareInfo.org you will find listings for welfare help by city. These listings will include housing and mental health. If you want help it is there all you have to do is ask for it. If you are a minor you can go to any fire or police station and ask for help. If you're an adult over 18 you just need to go to the welfare office and apply for help.
In the case of illness,, even mental illness, such as hearing voices, or cutting or thinking of suicide. Go to the nearest hospital emergency room. Tell the admitting nurse what is bothering you and why you have come there. They must treat you, that is a matter of law regardless of your ability to pay.
Not everyone hates you. I certainly don't hate you. I have answered a number of your questions. The others hear don't hate you. We want you to live and we are here to help in any way we can. Suicide is permanent and it is very painful regardless of what method you chose. You will be missed even by the family you say hates you.
You are depressed that is obvious. When depressed, I know from experience our perception is off, we do not see things exactly as we are. You say your family hates you, okay you perceive this so it is real. But have they fallen out of love with you. That rarely happens with family members. They may not like who you are right now in your depressed state. They may even hate you, BUT they still love you that I am 99.99% positive of.
According to chain messages, I should've died millions of times, gotten injured, heard laughing in my bathroom, an old lady throw her 10 cats at me in my backyard, turkey shoved up my butt, world war 3 released on my chest, my kids killed (I don't have kids soooo), have a ghost girl screwing with me every night, have seen a little dead girl in my room twice, been thrown down a sewer, my mom dead (she's cooking dinner in the kitchen right now I'm 11), and a clown who turned into the devil because he had sex "eat your penus and your vagina 2! (Oh I knew I had a vagina but I didn't know I also have a penus! And if sex turns you into the devil we should have a lot of devils), and my computer should be on fire and other really weird and disturbing stuff. The chain letters I recieved were hilarious and not true. Seriously, some vortex enters my computer whenever I recieve some story made by a random troll that finds out my location at every second, knows about my emails and if I forward them in said time and if I don't that force will create said punishment to happen to me? Bull shit.
I can't give you a factual answer to your question. In fact I don't think there is a factual answer to it.
What I believe is that we all like to believe that there is some mystical force at work. The chain letters provide a way to manipulate that mystical force. As young person you receive the less sophisticated scary chain letters. Adults receive the more whimsical and the ones promising great fortunes if you don't break the chain.
I would say the great majority of us understand their is no mystical force out there but continue the chain just incase we missed something. There are other who are quite superstitious and these chain letters play into those superstitions.
At one time I received a great many chain letters. I forwarded maybe one in ten. I guess that wasn't enough for those that sent them to me as for the most part they have stopped sending them. I would suggest if you don't want to receive them you can either block the sender, send them back asking them not to send them or just delete them when received.
Okay , so I really really really like this guy who is 17. I'm 14 . He turns 18 & 3 months later I turn 15. I've already talked to my parents about it, and they litterally have no problem with it ( I was so surprised ) but his mom does a little bit. She just doesnt want him to get in trouble.. I live in NC. I just want to know the laws of dating a minor. He's like the other half of me, we are like Bestfriends. & we've already had the talk about sex and stuff. There's none of that until the time & age is right.. He told me he would never make me do anything i wouldn't want to do. I trust him and we are happy. We don't date yet though, I just don't know what to do. Is the age difference bad? Would people look at us weird? should i care what people think? ): I'll love to hear all your advice and opinions (: .
His mother has every right to be worried. The age of consent in NC is 16, you are 14 and he is 17. The 3 year age difference is where the problem comes in as long as you remain under age 16 he can get in trouble under a number of different laws. If there was les than a 3 year difference in age NC has within its laws a "Close in age exception." Unfortunately you two fall just outside the exception.
Given the 3 year age difference sex does not have to take place, it can be assumed. As such a charge such as statutory rape can be brought against the boy just for dating you. Given that your parents approve of the dating the chances of this charge making it to court are probably low. Someone though would have to report you two as dating or a cop would have to find you two in a lovers lane situation and bring the charge. This does not happen very often but it does happen. this is what his mom is worried about.
To be honest this is probably just a high school thing for both of you. He is going to be going of to college next year and probably find some one else. My suggestion is it is in his best interest that he listen to his mother and you to cool it for a year. Next year when your 16 if you two are still interested in one another go for it.
+
20/f I was admitted into a partial care program after OD'ing in an attempt to kill myself. It's been a few days into the program, a little more than a week since the attempt has been made.
Right now I'm in a bit of a bubble, so to speak. I haven't been out with friends, I'm not going to work, really the only communication I have at the moment is through Facebook. Our family has moved around quite frequently, but I've kept a lot of my friends through FB, and we talk frequently. Anyhow, what I'm torn about is whether or not I should post a "life update" status, if you will, and inform everyone of what's going on, why I'm so quiet and cooped up lately.
I guess what I'm concerned about is whether or not it's appropriate. I planned on making it a "friends only" status, but of course there are many acquaintances I have as FB friends as well. But I want to be honest for once, I'm sick of hiding how I feel or what I'm going through, I've been doing that for over 5 years, and look where it got me. Everyone knows me as the cheerful one, the one they can depend on. Right now I need to be able to be myself, and have support. I feel like continuing to hide and keep everything hushhush is a bad way to do that.
I don't know, I'm torn on whether or not it's a good idea to post about it. Any thoughts/opinions please?
When I finally admitted to myself that I suffered from depression and needed help. I decided to do as my brother in-law who is a recovering alcoholic does in his aa program. I chose to follow some of the steps in their 12 step program that applied to me and my illness.
One of those steps is being truthful to yourself and others. Not everyone is going to be supportive or understanding of what your going through. The ones that do understand will be supporting of you. The ones that don't understand or you somehow hurt while being depressed will not be supporting and may even say some hurtful things to you.
These are these are the people that concern me at the moment. Do you feel being only a few days into your program that you are strong enough to take whatever criticism or accept any hurtful things that might be said back to you. I know that it took me months to get to this point in my therapy before I was strong enough to take the bad with the good.
While I agree with you 100% that this is something you should do I would suggest you first talk this over with your therapist. See how the therapist feels about you doing so at this point in your recovery. Trust your therapist, he or she has only your best interest at heart.
You and I didn't get as far depressed as we did overnight. I didn't recover overnight and neither will you. I recovered and so will you if you do the work asked of you to recover.
Recovery takes time and it takes work. Trust your therapist and the therapist will tell you when you can do this and some other things you may want to do such as start to date again. When you reach that point you will be well on your way to a full recovery.
I didn't quite fall as far as you but it was close. I'm always here and I have a big shoulder if you want to talk you can always send me private messages.
I turned 18 a couple months ago and my parents have decided to kick me out and remove all my financial support. They said that they’ve covered my ass as long as they should have to and it’s time I learned how to be a part of the real world. What do I do? I have no friends, no relatives that I can live with at all. It seems impossible to get a full-time job with no references or work experience. I’ve submitted my resume to too many supermarkets, retail stores and frozen yogurt parlors to count over the summer and I was only been able to get 6 interviews for part-time work. And I didn’t get hired from any of them. It seems impossible to get a full-time job with no references or work experience. I can’t join the military either, it wouldn’t be a compatible job for me at all. They’d send me packing within a week. How can I go to college if I can’t even get money to live on?
Unfortunately your parents are right; they are no longer legally required to care for you.
I would remind them that this legality works both ways. That right now they are able to care for themselves and that while they may be one of the lucky ones able to retire now; nothing saps a retirement savings like an illness. Then they are going to want you to care for them. There is nothing legally requiring you to do so. No court can order you to do so.
Just because the law says you're an adult does not make you one not today. You need to go to college and get a better education. A high school diploma won't even get you a job right now flipping hamburgers for the people with the college degrees are taking those jobs as the once better jobs they would get have not yet returned to the economy.
I don't know how a parent can do this to a child it is certainly not something I even considered with mine. Yea I would joke with them about it but it was never more than a joke and my sons comeback always has been to remember he will be the one choosing my nursing home.
You need to explain the facts of life to our parents as I laid them out above. Todays world is nothing like the world they entered at 18. You would be eligible for welfare assistance. In some states given that your parents are capable of helping you the welfare you receive would be charged back to them. If need be their social security income could be attached.
Remind dad his retirement income is still taxable and you are still a deduction if living at home and going to school. Even if you are away at school if more than 50% of your support comes from him you are still a deduction plus he can deduct whatever he pay for school.
Explain to mom and dad that just because you are legally an adult there is still a financial upside to you remaining under his roof while you go to school. It may be too late for to apply for a 4 year school starting in September but you can enroll in your local community college fro the next two years and get the basics done then switch and complete your degree at the college of your choice.
I'm a 15 year old girl and I feel like I don't eat enough food. When I eat, I eat healthy non-processed food (my mom has a fruit and veggie garden) it's just that my portions are so small. I usually skip breakfast so I can make my bus that comes at 6:30 (I don't want to get up any earlier than I already do to get breakfast, so I don't). Then around lunch time I'm not really hungry so I'll have some carrot sticks and maybe a sandwich. Then when I get home my mom makes me eat dinner, but I sort of have a loss of appetite sometimes and only have about half of my plate. Part of the problem could be that I drink a lot of water and it sort if suppresses the urge to eat. And most of my time after school is spent on homework (all of the teachers say "this worksheet will only take half an hour", but if we have half an hour of homework in all of our classes.....) for the record, I'm not anorexic, I love my body. How to I get a better appetite and how can my habits effect me in the future?
A calorie intake of between 200 and 1000 calories is way to low How many calories do you actually need depends on how active you are. The more active you are the more calories you need. The minimum average daily intake of calories for someone in your age group who is not overweight should be around 1,800 a day.
Your diet is already affecting how you get through the day. It will show in your school work and how long it takes you to do things such as homework. If you do not take in enough calories you become lethargic. You do not process information correctly. You end up constantly rereading things.
With an 1,800 calorie diet you can split the calories evenly over 3 meals or split them in a manor that gives you the most calories during the day, breakfast and lunch when you need them and the least at dinner when you are more relaxed. Most import though is to eat a good breakfast, followed by a good lunch and dinner.
A quick breakfast of a protein shake such as Ensure is 250 calories, a lunch purchased at school, in our schools average around 600 to 700 calories a day. This would leave 950 for dinner which you could have at dinner or have less and leave some calories over for an after dinner snack while doing homework.
It is important to eat and take in the proper calories for your activity level. If you don't you will get sick just as if you were anorexic for you are doing to your body the same thing that anorexic do just slower.
Hi to everyone who comes across this page. I am a male in my late 20's. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective bipolar type disorder as a teenager. I have seen many psychiatrist's since then and have been put on a variety of drugs. The last prescription I was given was for Abilify. I started taking it about four years ago. Without my current psychiatrist's approval or knowledge I have been off it for about three months now. I don't believe I am insane. At least not yet. The problem I am having is that I can't identify with myself. I hate to do this, I don't like to whine and complain about my life. It makes me think I am ungrateful for what I have. I don't like posting this online where any random creep who feels like spreading negativity can reply to my post but I have no one to talk to in real life. My thoughts are really not making sense to me and can be entirely disturbing at times. I feel out of control, fatigued, and worst of all abnormal. Like I don't fit in with society. I believe I am inferior to most people because most people are self assured and social. I am not self assured and I don't have any friends. Not even one. My purpose for posting this is to ask if anyone has had similar experiences and how did you get past all the negativity and start being more positive and self accepting?
HI, I do not suffer with the problems you suffer with though I do have a couple of friends that are suffering with bipolar disorder. Also my wife works for the largest supplier of mental health services in the country. Through her work we are friends with a number of psychiatrist and psychologists several of whom deal with disorders like yours.
No you are not insane but you do have a mental illness that can be controlled with medication. One of the biggest problems with the problems you are dealing with is when you are on your medications you feel fine. You see no reason to take your medications and you go off them. When you do you head down the path you are now on.
You need to get back on the Abilify and any other medications you have stopped taking. You also need to call your psychiatrist and make an appointment to see him or her urgently. Tell the appointment secretary you went off your medications and need to see the doctor.
Most important is you get back on your medications and take them as directed until you see your doctor. Then follow the doctors directions for when you are to take the medications.
Also write yourself a note that you can put on your refrigerator to see everyday reminding you that you feel good because of your medications. The note should also remind you of what is like when you are off your medication as part of the problem you have is you don't remember what the other side of the illness is like. Let the not be a reminder so you stay on your meds.
i have an addiction to porn...how do i quit
I would like to know what you mean by addicted. The word addiction has taken on a life of its own lately. By addicted do you mean you sit in front of your computer or TV viewing porn to the exclusion of everything else? Are you able to do to other things like work, go to school, go out on dates, visit with friends and view porn only when you have nothing else to do? Is your porn watching somewhere in the middle of being totally absorbed by porn to be able to function without porn and viewing it only when you have down time.
If you cannot function at all without viewing porn in some manner. You can't work, go to school, take care of your proper hygiene then you have a porn addiction and you need help. If you like porn, you porn to masturbate to, are a teenager in the throes of puberty and has a life beyond porn such as school, dating and other things. Then relax your a normal teenager with overactive sex glands.
Today I believe it is Maxim magazine when I was a teenager it was Playboy that every teenage boy had a well worn copy of hidden in his room for masturbatory use. Most guy won't admit to it but we all had them and your friends do to.
Now in the event you are truly addicted and cannot function without porn you need professional help. Seek out the help of sex therapist. Yes there are psychologist that specialize in the area of sex. This is the psychologist that is best trained to help you.
If you're a teenager you are going to have to go to your parents and ask for help. Probably the best person for you to talk to is your dad. As I believe you are male and talking to mom may be embarrassing.
Used correctly for personal enjoyment there is nothing wrong with pornography. For teenagers it is a way to help relieve sexual tension and to learn about the female body and how to love the female body.
My only advice is to make sure you have a true addiction and not just embarrassed because you think you are the only one who enjoys pornography in your age group. You're not that I can assure you off.
Hello,
my life was complicated when I lost my virginity with the boy wich I loved them so much,I lost my virginity as i teeneger,now I find guy muslim who wanna only virgin girl and who respect the tradicion so much? I find on internet some fake hymens (not the chinese one) this one it's american product and it's seem very effecative and no bad effects for the body..Did someone else know what other it's good and what can help me here? I don't wanna do any surgery because I'm so afrraid..I can't tell the guy the true because he will kick me from his life...From this virginity dependes my life,my marriege....
The Muslim standard of virginity for the modern women is outdated. Most active western women will lose their Hymen long before they have their first sexual intercourse. They do so by use of Tampons, bike riding, participating in sports and other activities that could cause their Hymans to dislodge. Masturbation is another activity that could dislodge there hymen as well.
For this reason today's definition of female virgin is: is anyone who has not had a penis penetrate her vagina. Once the penis penetrates the vagina even for a second her virginity is lost regardless of whether the Hymen is present or not.
If you are in a Muslim country you have a problem if he must have a virgin girl with a Hyman. IF you live in a Western Country you might try explaining to him that a Western girl can lose her Hyman through activities that are not sex related. If he truly loves you he would understand
I have two teenage daughters who have been blessed with musical talent and beautiful singing voices.There is a talent show at our county fair every year and they want to participate. I am almost certain one of them would win or place as a runner up. Therein lies the problem! They have a close loving relationship but they are extremely competitive with each other when it comes to music. So far I have never allowed them to compete against each other because I am afraid this could create a permanent rift between them. I have tried to encourage them to sing together as a duet but they refuse. Should I allow them to compete individually and possibly damage their relationship for life?
This is a tough question to answer. To my mind it falls under the heading; Damned if you do, Damned if you don't.
At some time in their lives they will compete with each other. When this happens the question become how will they handle the outcome? This is an unknown and not something even a mother's intuition can foresee.
Seeing this and knowing that the day will come that they will compete against each other my question to you is: Would it not be better to allow them to compete know while you are with them? In this manner you can prepare them for the fact that only one of them can come in at First place the other in a follow up position. You can have discussions now ahead of time as to how they will handle this between them and what you will expect of them.
My feeling is that allowing them to compete now should be based on the following. They must agree:
1. The final decision is yours that you will make just before competition time. They may register but you may withdraw them before hand.
2. You tackle the problem ahead of time through meaningful discussion with them about possible outcomes. Which would include one of them winning or neither of them winning.
3. The meaning of competition, sportsmanship and what it means to them as sisters.
Based on these discussions before hand you can then decide if you want them to participate. By tackling the problem before rather than after I believe will allow for a more meaningful discussion rather than for damage control after.
My sister never takes no for an answer and sometimes it gives her a feeling that she is allowed everything and everyone must do whatever she asks. Like she never handed me a shoe to kill a spider even if she was next to one and she expected me to kill a spider and another she never let's me in her room and whenever she wants to borrow my clothes and I say no becaude you never return any favors she gets mad and slams my doorand pulls huge sissy fits. What can I do? I hate fighting but the sense of authority she has is mind-blowing and it makes me feel like she never gives me any respect.
What you two have is a bad case of sibling rivalry. You both want the other to respect you and to accede to your wishes. The older of the two of you may just be jealous of the attention the other gets from your parents. All of this is unfortunately quite normal and will go away as you both become adults and have families of your own. At least most of the time.
If you are twins this would not be normal. Twins by and large are much closer than most other siblings. Stemming from sharing the same womb and possibly the same egg. Generally twins do not suffer from sibling rivalry.
When it comes to respect this is something that has to be earned, even between family members. In general terms you have to give respect in order to get respect. From what you are writing neither of you are giving so neither of you are earning the others respect. One of you is going to have to make the first move and give some respect to other.
I will assume you are the younger of the two. If so can you be the bigger of the two and give your sister some respect. She deserves a bit of respect just because she is older but can you give a bit more. Then by doing so, by being the bigger person and giving her respect; Wait and see if after getting respect if she doesn't return it to you.
This is how respect work. If you want it you have to earn it. There are times respect comes with the territory, such as being a Police Officer or an Officer in the Military. In these instances it is the uniform not the person in the uniform that gets the respect. The person in the uniform still needs to earn respect.
HI! I'm going to the 8th grade in 3 days. A while ago my sister & my parents went school shopping. I've seen this nice & very cute Minnie mouse backpack. I wanted it badly, so my dad bought it for me. Before he bought it though he said (this look childish. Are you sure you want this? Your too old for this). I didn't care, I still wanted the bag. But just this night I had a conversation with my very best friend. I told her about my book bag. And she said ( what grade are you in?! A Minnie mouse bag, really? Your not in kindergarten) That's when I really had second thoughts. But I really like the bag. I thinks its adorable. Am I being too worried of what people are thinking about me? I just need someone's advice. Please Help!
Eighth grade is still middle school. If you were going into high school my answer might be different.
Everyone has there own style, there own look they want to put forward. You like this back pack. It makes a statement about you that you're young and care free. If others don't like it or think it childish that is there problem. You like it you keep it and you use it.
Back when I was in school, about the time of the Flintstones. It was popular for a while for boys to wear shirts that looked like the shirts the old time firemen wore. As I said it was popular only for a short time and then the style changed. I liked the shirt and I continued to wear the one I had. I saw no reason not to. It was expensive and it was in good condition. I made it my style.
Hmm, I wonder if that shirt had anything to do with me becoming a firefighter? Maybe you're destined to work for Disney as Cinderella or one of the other Disney characters? Enjoy your backpack and don't worry what others say.
I'm a 14 year old girl and at the beginning of this year my family and I moved about 6 hours away from our hometown for my dad to pursue a job opportunity. The thing is, I want to go back home. He has job offers there, but he wants to stay with this company so he turned them down and transferred here like his current company wants him to. He probably had good reason for doing so, so I tried not to complain. At first I handled the loss of my friends and boyfriend through cutting. No I'm just depressed and cry myself to sleep. If I told my parents this, they wouldn't take me seriously and sure as heck wouldn't get me a therapist. They treat me like my 8 year old brother. I learned about sex and my period from friends because I never got the talk from my mother and they still think that I believe in Santa and all of that magic stuff. They will not take me seriously ever. I need to go back home, I'm falling apart and I'm not myself anymore. I'm beginning to diet in an unhealthy way because I hate my body and I cut again because I hate my mind. I need to go home ASAP. How do I ask them to move back????
Dragonflymagic is correct in that this problem need intervention from another adult. There is something else you need to know about depression. Since I have been through depression myself I think I can understand how you feel and can explain a little bit about why you feel as you do.
You cut because you want to feel something, anything but the mental pain you are feeling from the loss of your friends, school and the town you have grown up in. While the cutting itself can be very harmful if you cut in the wrong place it is also understandable as to why you do so.
Another reason for why you cut is perception. Depression causes pain. Pain causes anxiety, anxiety causes pain. This cycle continues and throws are entire perception of the world around us off. I'm not saying that what you see or what you are saying is wrong. It is what you perceive and that makes it real. I find it hard to believe that if you were to go to mom or dad show then the scars from your cutting that they would not want to take you to the professionals you need to get the help you need for the depression you are suffering.
Since you perceive they will not help you this is why you need another adult to talk to and to help you make your parents aware that you need help. This is where a trusted teacher, a school principal or even the 911 service can be of help. If this weekend you feel cutting DON'T; CALL 911 INSTEAD. You never need adult permission to call 911 for help. Tell the call taker you have been cutting and want to cut yourself now. The call taker will send help to you.
If you can wait until school is open then go to any teacher or the principal and show them your scars. Tell them how you feel and why you have been cutting. They are required to protect you and they will make the calls needed to get you help and to see to it that your parents are made aware and that this help is continued.
The fact that your mom has not had "The Talk" with you could be for two reasons. The first she may be waiting for you to come to her when your first period arrived. The second she does not want you to grow up and by not having the talk she thinks she is keeping you innocent. Again perception is in play here. Mom knows she can't ignore your period and have it not arrive. As a onetime teenager she knows the pressure you will be under to have sex. Unless she wants to be a young grandmother it is important to have the talk with her children at the onset of puberty. I want to believe she was waiting for you to come to her. Why I can't explain but I do know some moms are like that.
As for the Santa thing; that may be more for your 8 year old brothers’ benefit than anything else. My parental instincts tell me mom and dad are aware you know Santa is not real but wants to keep the fantasy alive for another year for your brothers’ benefit. Once again perception is at play here.
It is my belief that you may be suffering from depression longer than you think; I now know I was. The move and the loss of your friends and community were the straws that brought the depression to the surface. You need professional help for your depression before asking to move back.
Home by definition is: where your family lives. By that definition you are home. With the help of a good therapist you will get over your depression, stop your cutting and learn to deal with major upheaval your fathers work has caused. You may always yearn to move back to wear you use to live but for now as long as you are a minor you have to deal with where your family takes you.
My advice is: IF you need help between now and when you go to school; call 911. When you get to school talk to a teacher, the nurse or the principal; they will help you.