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humorist-workshop
Dose this make me strange?
M/15
So most of the time I hang out with my freinds the subject of who would you have sex with comes up. My freinds usaly have a mental numbered list of who they want to have sex with and are shock when I reveal to them that I dont really think about that to much. Also they dont want a relationship with the people they want to have sex with. They just want to bang them and move to then next one and I feel like that thats messed up and it kinds makes me mad when they talk about girls like that. When I think of some one I care about I think of how we would spend time together or how I can make them feel like they are special to me. Dose that make me strange?
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Maybe give some free advice about: What does it mean??
Not at all, you sound like a wonderful person. It's somewhat sickening that the guys you hang out with behave in a way that makes you think you're odd for not thinking of girls that way. Even if you are strange, it's in a very good way.
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You are amazing! I'm you are (female) I hate when guys treat girls like that. It is completely disrespectful!! If only some guys knew, that when they treat girls like that and pressure them (at least i do this) it makes them less likely to do ANYTHING with them.
You are not strange, you just don't want to treat every girl like something to have sex with.
Somehting i find very admirable in someone our age :)
So thank you for not being womanizing and controlled by your hormones!
-Hardcore-Band-Geek
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No question - you are not strange. You sound like a normal human being, with empathy and humanist feelings for everyone. The guys you hang out with sound like they're stuck in their mid-teens, when girls are merely sex objects for their use. they'll grow up one day and want to settle down.
Best wishes and all the luck in the world finding that special someone.
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You sound like a much more logical thinker then a sexual one and thats also great! right now all your friends brains are capable of is thinking about sex 24-7. dont let them and their B.S. get to you just tell them "i dont know i dont have a "list" because im just not an OVERLY sexual person" but that you do notice cute girls or whatever but that, a girls snatch isnt the only thing to life. i had this same problem when i was about your age.
All the guys i knew only wanted sex. I could barely have a civilized conversation with them because all they wanted to do was try everything they could to either get in my pants, pretend like they cared for a short time until they thought i would give in, or play video games or skateboard.
Well needless to say it never worked. At 14 i met a young man that was far more mature then the rest, thought JUST like you do, and we've now been together for 13 years, are married, and have a 3 year old. ; )
Im telling you, believe it when we all say that you are different from them in all the best ways a person can be. dont give in to them or their pressure to be like them, find a new crowd if you have to, but do not let up on your convictions and your thought process when it comes to females. you will score the best girl when she comes along and find someone who will last forever. ; ) good luck buddy your one of the lucky ones.
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No you are not strange, you are more sensitive and more mature than your friends. Sex is not a game to see how many points you can score. Sex with the right person at the right time is a way of sharing your feelings for that person.
Yes you can have sex at anytime and it be meaningless. Just away to rid yourself of sexual tension. You will receive the same amount of pleasure from it as if you masturbated. Sex with a person you have feelings for, someone you feel you may want to share your life with. That sex is far more pleasurable than empty sex.
Look at in this way. Sex just to rid yourself of sexual energy is the same as having a salad for lunch. Just empty calories to ward off hunger. Sex with someone you have real feelings for is like having a steak sandwich for lunch; far more fulfilling.
You my friend are looking at sex from the standpoint of the steak sandwich. This makes you standout from the crowd. Once a girl or girls learn this about you. That you are not the type to be all hands you will have no trouble dating and if you have true feelings for her and things move towards having sex. You have a better chance of actually getting sexual intercourse from your girl.
Most of those guys who are running off at the mouth right now. IF they are lucky a girl might give them a hand job just to shut them up. If they are really lucky they might get a blow job. You are too young to know this but former President Clinton once said a blow job isn't sex.
Your buds are blowhards that will learn the hard way. stick to your principals and you will do fine in every aspect of life including sex.
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This is definitely a case of emotional and mental maturity. Yours is more advanced. Fact is, your mates are not going to spend their adult lives screwing their way through a mental 'list' of females. For a start, where is this inventory of available girls who do not want any sort of committed relationship going to come from? And what is so alluring about casual sex with these guys that they are going to be unable to resist them? They will form one-to-one relationships. And they will find that even the most in-love couple spend a relatively small amount of time actually having sex. And spending time together and making each other feel valued, along with all the usual daily events of life occupy much more time and require much more effort. You seem to have sussed this, they haven't yet. Theirs is not an uncommon attitude towards girls at 15. It's really pretty much a fantasy. I mean, come on. Are the girls really very bothered about which number they're at in their lists? A girl might feel flattered that she's the sort who many guys look at and want to have sex with...but do you think she's going to actually 'live it'? Adult life will in some ways come as a more shock to them than it will to you. They will have their values and ideas over-turned. You values will instead be reinforced. You are not strange, just mature beyond your years and confident enough not to play-act the attitude of your mates just for the sake of conformity (just to be 'one of the lads' as you might say). The only way a guy will live having constant un-committed sex with numerous different females is by working as a male escort!! And you can quite sure that the girls who feature highest on their lists will be setting their sights on guys who can offer a bit more than just sex. So how pointless are their fantasy lists anyway??
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No your cool and great person. Actually a man should love a one girl for her behaviour and personality then marry her and think about sex I think you are a really good man or boy what ever you are not that young, and when you grow up you will be very loyal to your girl. She will be very lucky to have someone like you :)
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At fifteen they hardly know anything. You are the normal one with your views which are right on in your feelings and views. I am having to share with college age even and older sometimes how you can't really separate the two if you want a meaningful and healthy relationship.
Your friends are not going to be thinking of their life time partner at this point and afraid to make any even short term commitments in dating so they have the view of not wanting a relationship with a girl. But their hormones are raging so they think of sex and therefore believe it should be kept separate. Yes, sometimes you can find a girl who just wants the sex too but the majority of girls want the friendship, relationship and feelings for each other before moving on to sex.
These days, there's been plenty of studies that not every person is going to have the same libido sexually. One person is happy with twice a month when another wants twice a day i f they can get it. You sound like a very mature young man. good luck in life.
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