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Please help! about age difference
Okay , so I really really really like this guy who is 17. I'm 14 . He turns 18 & 3 months later I turn 15. I've already talked to my parents about it, and they litterally have no problem with it ( I was so surprised ) but his mom does a little bit. She just doesnt want him to get in trouble.. I live in NC. I just want to know the laws of dating a minor. He's like the other half of me, we are like Bestfriends. & we've already had the talk about sex and stuff. There's none of that until the time & age is right.. He told me he would never make me do anything i wouldn't want to do. I trust him and we are happy. We don't date yet though, I just don't know what to do. Is the age difference bad? Would people look at us weird? should i care what people think? ): I'll love to hear all your advice and opinions (: .
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No, the age difference is perfectly fine,
. Im 14 and my boyfriend is 18. Its only 4 years!
Your parents dont mind him being older so what's the problem? Don't think about his mom..she should be happy about him and she should accept his decision.
I don't think people will look at you weird but
i do know that you shouldn't care about other people's opinions. It's your life. Live it as you please!
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His mother has every right to be worried. The age of consent in NC is 16, you are 14 and he is 17. The 3 year age difference is where the problem comes in as long as you remain under age 16 he can get in trouble under a number of different laws. If there was les than a 3 year difference in age NC has within its laws a "Close in age exception." Unfortunately you two fall just outside the exception.
Given the 3 year age difference sex does not have to take place, it can be assumed. As such a charge such as statutory rape can be brought against the boy just for dating you. Given that your parents approve of the dating the chances of this charge making it to court are probably low. Someone though would have to report you two as dating or a cop would have to find you two in a lovers lane situation and bring the charge. This does not happen very often but it does happen. this is what his mom is worried about.
To be honest this is probably just a high school thing for both of you. He is going to be going of to college next year and probably find some one else. My suggestion is it is in his best interest that he listen to his mother and you to cool it for a year. Next year when your 16 if you two are still interested in one another go for it.
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His mom has every right to be worried my dear. Its usually the boy that gets things quickly turned around on him in the event that things go bad between you two and the girl wants to be vengeful and claim rape. ((unfortunately it does happen))
with age range, sometimes age is REALLY just a number sweetie. my story between my now husband of 13 years started just like yours. only i was 14 and he was 21! lol. im not 27, hes 34, and we're married and have a 3 year old son! = ) so dont fret too much over age range, if two people love and respect each other and the connection and devotion is there, thats really all that matters.
my husband and i are seven years apart. (ive always been naturaly wayyy more mature then everyone else around me and knew from a young age i wanted an older mature guy who has his life together) and for the record i NEVER got along with guys even close to my own age range as a youngster, guys were dumb and just wanted to play video games, or try to have sex with me, or do stupid things with their guys friends and nothing more.
My husbands family was naturally VERY worried as well but they got past it once they met me and got to know me, and soon after our parents met and they discussed how great a couple we were and that this was ok. CPS did get involved at one point later down the road in which my mother signed a paper saying that it was OK for me to be with him and im in cali. so thats a little bit of a look into how things work HERE.
Maybe you should have both your parents meet and talk so that his parents can get comfortable with you and not feel like your going to claim rape if the two of you break up. Get on their good side but dont push, be nice to them where ever you can and when the chance to speak about the two of you comes up, maybe you can try to slip in there and "even if things down work out between you and their son that you would probably still know each other because you have a really good friendship as well not just a bf/gf relationship" usually if you tell them that you were just friends first that will kind of comfort them and let them know that you KNOW each other well enough to know weather taking this next step was a well thought out idea.
if you spend time with his family, offer to help with things, cleaning assisting, just be personable and nice and im sure once they are comfortable with you they will love you ; )
Make sure they know that no matter what, your thoughts and ideas are well thought out and your eyes are open and your realistic about things. it will show that your mature, calm and collected, and that your rational and not just thinking with your emotions like alot of teens and youngsters do.
good luck. ; )
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Once a couple are both adults, 3 years difference is not an issue. Many couples have 5 to 8 years difference and even wider gaps. The only issue will be of what your peers or other parents may say or think.
As to getting weird looks while out in public...assuming you're not in amoungst a group of people who know you at all, any stranger seeing you IF they even paid attention to look at you would never assume there was an age difference and most older people have no clue how old exactly a younger person is. I see some high school kids who look like college age and some in their 20's who like 14, 15. Dont worry dear. If your parents are ok with him and like him...thats what counts. His parents are not weird for feeling a bit uncomfortable. But in all my searches I haven't found any yet that says there are laws that ban dating. The only law is regarding sex and a few people have said that in NC the age of consent for sex is 16. You might want to do more searching on your own to be sure.
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