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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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So this isn't exactly advice I'm looking for but more like an answer. Is it true that there are 7 people out there in the world that are identical to you???
I would love that more than anything, to meet like my secret identical twin, but I don't even know if its true, and if it is, how do I find her/them?

What you are thinking of or have heard from others is actually not a biological twin, but a phenomenum known by its original German word for it, Doppelganger which literally translated means double goer or in a simple english phrase, 'There goes your double or look alike."

Hollywood uses doubles often for actors and actresses, some who look like they came from the same parents but did not. Some doppellganger resemblences can be similar at first glance but when you have a chance to really stare at the person, you will begin to see the differences. And then there are others who look so much the same that it is hard to see the difference. These look alikes are very rare even in the acting field.

Unless you're in the movie industry with all that money financially backing to find a stunt double that looks like the actor, I don't know of anyone ever having been able to do a search for or even how to search for their look alikes. There are billions of people on the planet and hunting for that is like hunting for a needle in a haystack.
All we've heard on occasion, maybe 3 times for my husband is that they thought they saw him just a few days ago at..... but we were not there. We have no way of knowing how close the other person realy came to looking like him. I have had someone show me photos of friends or family of theirs upon meeting me and saying I look just like them and when I saw the photos, I saw no resemblence what so ever, not even in one single feature like the mouth or nose or shape of chin.

Ok so I'm gonna be 15 very shortly so I get my 'ladies' exam next week. I was curious so I checked out my hymen and saw it kinda looks like its broken/torn.. but I'm a virgin.. like I've fingered myself before but no dude has entered me. I'm terrified that the doc will see it and say something to my mom who will flip out and not believe that I'm still a virgin.. any help you can give? like any excuses to give my mom and the doctor?? I'm desperate here!

Hi dear. Basically what adviceman says is true, many females have a hymen that won't tear or bleed. It can be looser for some of the reasons already stated. Then again, I used tampons which are smaller circumferance than a penis and when I married as a virgin, I never bled or tore. Most bleeding, pain, discomfort occurs only because the man didn't take his time with the gal going really slow, not entering completely, just a tiny bit at a time using lots of lube. So there really is no medical way to determine if a female is a virgin.
For the exam, the doctor will use something called a speculum to see inside you. See the vagina when in relaxed state shrinks up to be smaller in length and the sides or circumferance fairly small. The thing lots of people forget is that all of the vagina, including the ring of flesh in one part near front of vagina, is elastic, like a rubber band and will stretch to the size that is required, whether for an exam, for masturbating or sex with a partner.
Think of what happens if you don't slowly stretch out a new rubber band and quickly pull it to an extreme stretch, it can either snap apart or tear on you. Vagina is the same, it stretches.

I have a favorite you tube blogger I like and use to help in cases like this where I feel the teen will profit from viewing this one video and possibly her many others. The gals name is Laci Green and heres a link to her video "You can't pop your cherry" or Hymen 101. She comes up with the best homemade simple model to give you an idea of what the hymen looks like.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=9qFojO8WkpA

So I helped my cousin Michelle clean up her closet the other day and my other cousin Barbara saw the work I did on my cousin Michelle's closet and now my cousin Barbara wants to know how much that I would charge her to clean up hers but my problem is I didn't charge Michelle I did it it to be nice would it be okay to charge Barbara when I didn't charge Michelle and Michelle just paid me whatever she could afford?

Tell her the truth that originally you set out to just do it as a nice thing for her and you didn't charge her anything. But now that you Barbara like my closet organizing skills, perhaps I have a talent that I can put to use to earn some money. Since you're my cousin, I won't charge you to do it, but I certainly would welcome whatever you can pay me as a thank you.

Take a before and after photo of her closet. Then if you have the time and want to make some extra money this way, you can show others your work and come up with a fee to charge. It can be based on either how many hours it takes to complete or just a lump sum total based on the size of the closet, how wide and deep. The lump sum is something you'd have a better idea of after you've done a few more and recorded how much time it takes. If someone can't pay but has a service they can do in trade for you, make sure it is of equal worth to you so you dont get people abusing your willingness to help.

Not knowing where you live, hourly minimum wages differ across the country so either the going rate for your area or make a deal, pay 2 hours and get a 3rd hr half price or something like that. People tend to like deals like that.

Hello,
I'm 21 and I'm really confused about whether I'm Jewish or Christian.

I was raised with a Christian mother and a Jewish father who were divorced so depending on which house I was in, I would worship the religion of that parent.

Now I'm an adult and extremely lost about both especially as a college student who wants to be involved in religious organizations on campus.

I went to the Jewish club on campus and didn't understand anything about any of the holidays they were talking about, which was surprising to me, but I guess my father didn't really teach me anything about the religion other than that we follow God and the other basic fundamentals. However, I still feel really drawn to Judaism and want to learn more. I feel like I can't though because people will judge me for not knowing anything and think I'm a fake Jew.

I also feel like a lot more people on my campus are Christian and that there's a ton more organizations so it makes me want to join them instead. I want to be a part of both, but I know that I can't be because that's not how that works and because people will think I'm flip flopping and that I need to make up my mind.

Personally, I choose to worship God and don't pray to Jesus because I believe they were two separate entities. I actually feel really uncomfortable praying to Jesus or singing to Jesus because I only want to pray to the lord which I consider God and whenever I go to church services they always want me to sing and prey to Jesus, which is a problem for me. Does that make me Jewish?

I also feel like nobody really knows what happened and that all I know for sure is that there is a God.

I really need some advice because I don't know what to do. :(

A persons religious views or beliefs are not something like a club that one can join although many treat it that way. I may use the word 'spiritual' too and by that, I mean how a person is living their life and whether they are genuinely following what they are most drawn too at any given point in their life. What a person believes religion wise, can change over time because that is what it is meant to do. It is more about a personal growth and journey in that area. Things I believed when I was your age or even as a mom raising kids has changed a lot. God I beleive has no problem with a person choosing to believe at whatever place they can identify with best and where they will learn the most and actually grow spiritually.

There are plenty of people who don't feel like they have to join a religious group or identify with one specifically. People are unique and even while I was in church, there would always be a few things I did not agree with of that belief system. My father also was Jewish but a citizen of Germany during WW2. It was a dangerous time to be a Jew. So his family choose to not go to synagogue so as to not be so obvious, although he went a few times with his grandparents. In the school system there, part of education was the child being in some kind of religious class. If I remember correctly, they offered Lutheran and Catholicism. There wasn't any other choices. So he went to Lutheran class. My mom was German and Lutheran also. So when they met, it was easy to just go with Lutheran. Once us kids came along, they dropped out for a while and once we got to our teen years, attended again. However, once Mom and Dad split, he decided he wanted to rediscover his Jewish heritage and roots. It was a matter of pride to him. But he had also grown in his spiritual walk and no longer believed all that Judaism beleives but much of the Christian faith. So what he did was find a group he identified with that would also tie in with his roots.
He discovered Messianic Judaism. I will share a link to Wikipedia's description of that.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Messianic_Judaism

There are churches or places of worship that fit this description. More likely to be found in larger cities than rural. I doubt it can be found in college groups though. So you may want to search for that.

Vegan, vegetarian, pescetarian or pesco-vegan?

I'm thinking of either pescetarian or pesco-vegan because fish is rich in omega-threes. But I don't know which of those diets make you the happiest and healthiest. And help with depression. Please help!!

Yes, there are some herbs, and foods that are purported to have a good effect on depression, but since I don't have depression, I haven't retained that info.
What I have done for other health concerns and wanting to eat healthier in general is to join some groups on Facebook and make sure that I choose to have these show first in my feeds, no matter what time of day I get on the computer. There is much information out there. There is also the concern of GMOs and the chemicals applied to foods that while eating a portion of it isn't deadly and kills you immediately, but over time, our bodies can start to have issues and often it can be traced back to this.

I can give you the names of some of the groups I subscribe to on Fabebook and hopefully that will begin to answer your questions and enlighten you on lots more.
Try these:
Eat Local Grown

Just Eat Real Food

Non GMO Project ( cus they often share about organic and what to stay away from)

Healthy Grocery Girl

Foods4BetterHealth

and if you put in a search on Facebook for Organic food or Healthy foods, alot more will come up.

I'm a bisexual freshman in highschool, and I like my friends gf... we both have boyfriends. Help, please.

I don't see what the problem is unless your friend is also bisexual and dating both this girl and her boyfriend. Then she may not want to share if we are talking about a relationship with sex.
If you would also like to be friends with your girlfriends female friend, there is no law that says you can't do that. People can have more than one friend of the same sex AND people can have more than one close or best friend. Its just a matter of perspective. If I have 25 female friends, I might not be close to only one but actually like 5 or 6 of them, each for different reasons but for something I have in common with them. Friend A may like making jewelry together with me, but friend B is not into that, however she shares an interest in writing and we write stuff together for fun.
If you have a specific issue in mind that regards sex, let me know and I'll see if I can help. Otherwise, I'll leave you with just this for an answer.

I met a guy on deviant art who was 20 (I'm 13 but I turn 14 on January 7th) and we started talking. I never had my age or name up on my profile. Or how I looked like. So he didn't know how old I was or any of that. He saw my art, though and thought I was so great. He had a fan fiction series he was writing and I suggested he made a Wattpad account for it. So he did. And we chatted on there more. One day I suggested he added a cover to his fan fiction and he said he wasn't too good at making covers so I offered to draw one for him. I finished it within a week (I think). He loved it and even told me I did so well, he kinda wanted to give me virtual kisses because of it. I was kinda shocked and didn't know how to respond at first. Then I replied- "That's cute. *virtual kisses* 😘" He did the same. Ever since, we'd been giving each other virtual kisses and I was had been so into him while we were talking as friends so I went along with it. Later on, we got pretty close and I lived it. However, one day I was just looking around at his profile and I saw it. He was 20 effing years old. I didn't know what to do because I was already so into him and thought my age could scare him off. But I ignored it for a while. Months later (and quite recently) he asked me how old I was and my hear freaking SINKED. I freaked out big time and didn't know what to say. I was thinking "Should I tell him my real age?" "What if he never talks to me again?" "What's gonna happen?" Eventually, I freaked out and told him I was 15, thinking it would freak him out a little less (again, I'm 13). His reaction wasn't really good at first but he said he'd wait for me and he thinks I'm turning 18 in 2019 but I'm really turning 18 in 2020. So instead of 3 years, he'd have to wait 5 years for me to turn 18. It's almost been a month since then and I'm in love with this guy. I know how he looks, how he sounds, and everything. He has a YouTube channel as well but anyways yeah. We've been texting on Kik for awhile now. But idk what to do, PLEASE HELP. WE'VE BEEN FLIRTING A LOT AND WE ARE SUPPOSED TO MEET EACH OTHER ONE DAY. IM SCARED HOW HE'LL REACT AND THAT HE'LL STOP TALKING TO ME!!! HELP!!!!!
I don't even CARE if he doesn't want a relationship. Just having him still talk to me will be enough.

I noticed some one else already answered you cus this was also posted ford all to have a chance to answer. The reason I didn't add anything is that I agreed with what the other advicegiver said.

I know at 13, how real the feelings can seem. In some cases it is for real and yes, some people who lets say meet in HS and become sweetheartsf actually get married. But that is a very small percent. I can guess but maybe one in a hundred people and that may be too high a guess.

The reality is that from 13 onwards, most people end up dating various people until they find the one they end up with long term or life long. I am much older and there werent computers when I was your age but I did get divorced and did the on line dating profile thing and met lots of guys. Of course you meet someone on line first. What I found out is something Psychologists know about human behavior. You can only know and learn so much via the internet. Trust can't be built over the net in a LDR for one good example. Also, I did get caught up and really like some guys I chatted with nightly until a week or two when we could get free time in our schedules to meet. This happened at least a dozen different times. So I am saying this is common. But when I finally met them in person, we both found we didn't quite click. There is something called pheremones. We are first attracted to looks of a person. But 2nd and even more important, is having pheremones that closely match those of the other person. If that is missing, there wont be a good sexual attraction. I met one guy who looked like a male model. However, when we kissed, there was no spark, no pheremone connection so it didn't work out. I know this info doesnt tell you what to do to fix the lie you made, but I want you to know that relationships and getting to the point of having a good one are not as easy as other things like tieing your shoes. Thats something we can all do without looking or thinking about it. The process of meeting and dating and enjoying the flirting is quite an involved process in reality, not as simple as what you see in movies or read in a romance book.
Now on the side of legalities, this guy could decide that since you are so much younger that he might get in trouble. Any male over the age of 18, who has a friendship with a female under the age of 18 is in a tricky place. It mayk all be innocent but He was hoping to wait for you meaning to date, meaning a real relationship and he now knows that continueing to chat with you could land him in suspicions, even if you never met until you were old enough. You may be very mature for 13, as I was at your age, so he obviously thought you were older, like around his age. Thats a compliment to you however your age will scare lots of guys away. If it doesn't they may be bad guys who only want to use you and will say anything to get to meet you now which you might just jump at the chance but trust me, it won't end well.
I suggest for now that you focus on enjoying your teen years and practice learning all the ins and outs of dating and relationships with the kids your age. I know it may sound dumb but teens who end up having sex before 18, if both are under 18, isn't frowned upon but there are some states that do have rules regarding that agwe range and sex. However it is against the law and a guy over 18 with a younger gal can end up in jail.

It is also normal at your age to want to have attention from the male species and it feels good to have them admire you. Yes, I felt this way too at your age, pretty much all gals go thru it unless they are attracted to females. But hetero's, well its best at this younger teen age, to get the safer admiration and confirmation from males in the family that you are indeed a wonderful young lady. I got that from my dad. Its really more of a psychological mental emotional need rather than a physical sexual one so its perfectly normal for dads or grandpas, uncles to say that I was growing up to be as pretty as my mom or that the guys at school are soon gonna take notice of me, and everything I did whether poetry, writing sones, playinng guitar, painting, I wanted Dads approval and opinion more during these years than Moms. It is a natural process so you are normal in wanting the attention. However, the moment you found out he was older, it would' ve been better to say that while you are mature and mentally more the age of an 18 yr old that your biological age is actually 13. So you will leave it up to the guy whether he is still willing to at least by internet friends, and if not, that you understand. You might remember that for the future. And as for this guy, you could say the same but you'd have to admit you lied about your age for fear of losing him as an internet friend for now.

It can go either way, him disgusted you lied and drop you as a friend. Or he may admire your courage to fess up and actually act all the more mature in doing so and decide to keep you as a friend on the net.
Good luck.

For the past few years my relationships with my brothers has seriously been going downhill. They are constantly telling me what I'm doing wrong in my life and they complain about son and even my dogs. One of my brothers even told me my son was "unbearable". I rarely see them but for holidays mostly and those always end in tears for me. The other day all 3 of us got together with my parents to help them move some things from my recently deceased grandfather's house and even in just those two hours by the time it was done, I was so depressed I was nearly suicidal (not exaggerating, I have PTSD and have recently been in the hospital for a suicide attempt). I have decided that for my own mental health and safety I need to avoid them until I am feeling stronger (I am in therapy and we are working on all these things). The problem is I have a ten yr old son, who will be 11 when the holidays roll around and I want him to have a great holiday even though he won't be seeing his cousins or having the "family" holiday. What can I do with my son over this holiday season so that he (and I) don't feel so isolated and what kind of things can I do with him to help make "magical" holiday memories? Thank you!

My girls are now grown but the one thing that made a big impression on them was little traditions I started when they were still babies. I am talking just about Christmas as Thanksgiving gets swallowed up in Christmas traditions too. They still carry on those tradition whether they are still single or married. Our family background is German and Lutheran and that religion observes advent season with advent candles. Kids love to light the candles. Since the first Sunday of advent was always the Sunday after Thanksgiving, thats when we started decorating. We did get a fresh tree each year, not from a lot but a tradition of going every year to a tree farm to saw down the tree we'd select after much wandering around looking for the perfect tree. We spent on the average traveling 45 min at the least to one 1/2 hrs to travel to such a site. We actually did the same for pumpkin choosing time before Halloween, to farms that cater to setting up little festivals for families. Some had a petting zoo of their baby livestock, corn mazes, of course pumpkin fields and I still like the idea of wandering a field to search for the right pumpkin or tree snd I'm in my fifties. But their favorite tradition ended up being the ornament tradition. Each Christmas, each family member would choose an ornament that either meant something to them or highlighted what they did that year. When they were age two is when they were able to zero in on and grab the ornament they wanted. We went to a florist that had many themed trees. So a wide variety. The year one learned to not swallow her gum, she got a gumball machine ornament. Each child had their own storage box covered in Christmas wrap to store their ornaments in. That way by time they were on their own, they'd have at least 18 ornaments or more if they got any as gifts. The traditions gave them something to look forward to because traditions will stay with a family but those who may spend holiday with you, come and go...like when they first lost my mom, their grandma and grandpa, later. Then there were Christmases when someone in extended family was too sick to attend or had gone on a vacation or elsewhere to spend the holidays with other relatives. I know I had girls and you have a son but while he may pretend to balk at such stuff now, all boyfriends and husbands of daughters dragged into doing these traditions have come to really like them alot as well.
Lastly, we all partook of some kind of gift giving or giving tree, picking a tag to get a gift for a 12 yr old girl or boy and that was fun for them too but not as great a draw as other traditions. We even had food related traditions, certain recipes, cookie baking with them involved, etc.

For the actual Holiday, even with relatives, the kids got bored with the adults all too soon and would be watching TV and todays kids I suppose would be glued to their iphones or playing with gifts. If its just you and lets say low income, perhaps you'd qualify to have your son put on a list like other kids of low income families. We had a Christmas like that. I warned the kids that we were so broke we couldn't buy them anything. Then 2 mysterious strangers left gifts on the porch and at church without us ever asking for help. That meant a lot to them as they realized I was right in telling them that there is a Spirit of Christmas. This Spirit can appoint others to be someones Santa. So while Santa is the representation of the true Father Christmas, they at least always knew there was a real one who helps out when help is needed. Don't be afraid to ask if thats your situation, not from your family but churches and agencies set up to help during holidays with food boxes and gifts.
Hope this gives you some ideas.

If you lost your nineteen son twelve years ago in a terrible car accident and if some mysterious person kept leaving you gift at you house and leaving him flowers at the cemetery, would you want to know who it was?

Imagine living with the fear that someday everyone was going to forget your son. Then years after his death, out of nowhere, you come home the day before his birthday to find on your doorstep a basket full of candy and cookies with a bouquet of roses resting on top. There was a letter in the basket from some sweet young lady who wrote about how much she liked Reid (your son) and about some of the nice things he did for her.

The next year, the same young lady left you a plate of delicious homemade cookies and another letter. She also frequently leaves flowers at Reid's grave on his birthday and the anniversary of his death. She continuously does nice things for you, your family, and Reid on these difficult and painful days.

For some reason, she seems to want to remain anonymous. She won't let you know who she is and she apparently never wants to be seen doing these kind gestures. She left the basket of goodies and the bouquet of roses the day BEFORE Reid's birthday supposedly because his birthday was a Saturday that year and she figured you could be home that day, but knew you wouldn't be home during the day obituary Friday. She did the same thing this year because his birthday was on Saturday again. When she comes in the daytime, it's always when she figures you're not home. I don't know why she wants to do these things anonymously, but she does.

Would you want to know who she was? Would you want to find out so you could let her know how much you appreciate it and how much it means to you? Would you try to find her or respect her wishes to remain anonymous? If you would try to get in touch with her, how would you do so? You thought putting something in the newspaper or on the local radio station asking her to come forward so your family could thank her might be a good idea, but then you'd be advertising it to the whole town and possibly causing the whole town to look for her. You don't want to do that because you don't want to make her feel like you invaded her privacy.

What would you do?

Sure, I'd be very curious. But I am afraid it must remain a secret as she has her reasons. If however you want to thank her, I guess at this point you'd have to wait until next year the day or two before his birthday, have a Thank you card waiting on your porch or door where it can't be missed. Adress it as such: "To the person who has kindly left gifts in remembrance of Reid every year. Then thank her in the card. If you wish you could let her know it is okay to approach you, that it wouldn't hurt you or such if she was willing but if she has reasons for wanting to remain anonymous, you respect that and wish her well and just wanted to say thanks.
Whether she takes the card and even reads it is up to her. At least you will know you tried to thank her.

I can think of plenty reasons for someone not wanting anyone to know. If in some mistaken way I felt guilty, feeling I was in some remote way parly responsible for what lead up to his death, I might do such things out of guilt. If I knew him in HS and really had a crush on him but never let him know, I might do such a thing as self imposed penence for never having been bold enough to approach him, or if I was now married to a very jealous man, I could not risk him knowing about any one I previously dated or crushed on if that husband overreacts to the mention of any male in my past. Thats just it, you don't know and she may in her own mind believe its best to kept this quiet.

My boyfriend and I have made out and touched but we nevee go very far. Yesterday he told me that he can never seem to finish during sex. He sais he has had sex 10 times and only ever finiahed twice and he is concerned ans embarrassed about it... Can anyone tell me why??

Usually its younger people who ask this kind of question. But I have no idea. You could be in teens, or in 30's or older, way older. The possible reasons why its happening can differ depending on age.
I am going to go on the info that he's only had sex 10 times as a hint that both of you are young, teen years somewhere.

When we start having sex the first time in our life with a partner, hopefully, we've already had sex by self pleasuring with masturbation. Lots of males run into trouble with getting so used to just masturbating as a way to get off and finish that their body becomes conditioned to it. Its not as bad as being addicted to something like drugs or alcohol but can have negative effects, meaning sex with a partner isn't what his body is used to. In this case, he'd need to stop masturbating for a while. Go as many days as he can without self pleasuring before he is with you and see if that helps. He may need to retrain his body to get used to other ways of 'finishing', which I just call having an orgasm, with or without ejaculation. There are also plenty of grown up females who have never had orgasms in their life.
Why? Mental conditioning as in brought up being told sex outside of marriage is a sin, masturbating is a sin, and who knows what else, all thoughts that bring on guilt or a feeling of wrongness is enough to kill ones ability to really enjoy sex.
Another concern for people is making a good impression on their partner. Worried a person may not like their size, how they smell, taste and down to how they do certain techniques, kissing, massaging, fingering, hand jobs blow jobs and of course the penis in vagina part of sex. Learning what your partner likes is going to be something not just the guy must learn but the gal too. If can take a committed couple lots of time and trying things and most importantly great communication with each other thru out the time you're having sex, not some time after.
Younger folks don't always think this is an important factor but it is. What is pleasurable and works for getting one partner to enjoy sex may not work with the next. Each person is unique in what works on them. So to assume you must have plenty of previous practice to impress will usually not work on most of future partners. I am in my fifties and of all the many guys I have ever had sex with, including older adult years, it is ALWAYS a new learning process with each new person. So if he likes something you do, he needs to ask you to do more of that cus it feels good. If it isn't helping or hurts likewise he needs to get you to stop but not by saying, "you're doing it wrong. This goes both ways, so if his fingering isn't helping, for example you can suggest, "lets try a different spot for a while or lets try ....and suggest something else. I still do that. My hubby can get over zealous to get me to have an orgasm if too many days have gone by where we couldn't do anything cus one or the other of us was ill or something. Too much pressure for too long can in a sense do the same thing to me with his work fingering or on clit as my body gets used to the intensity like a guy does in masturbating, and I am close but not able to get the orgasm until I ask if we change to slower or some kind of rhythym. Just remember communication is key here.
Also remember that a male can be interested and desire you sexually. His inability to get it up or to finish are more likely a physical issue or a mental one, meaning too used to a certain way only. The brain is our biggest sex organ so thats where I would try first to see if things improve.
I know its not a subject that males find it comfortable talking about if there are issues, but if there is a simple solution, and he could be cured of it in a very short time, then why keep silent due to embarassment. WHen we are younger, its also hard to go to Dr. for exams...think about Gynecologists and pap smears for girls. I was super anxious and nervous and embarassed the first couple of times I had those appts. Its something you have to do tho to stay healthy or get help if you're not. He could see a Dr. and get a check up to make sure there are no physical issues that make it difficult for him, though not impossible since he has success twice.

Most younger males can have sex with just about any female, regardless of whether they love them. Their body can react solely based on lustful urges. While females can do that too, its not many who do. Most females connect sex with love.
If he is one of those few men who at any point in their life find they can't have orgasms or even get it up with one person but have with others, it could be that he needs to have strong feelings for the woman before he can do so. When its not just sex, for those in love, its called making love and love is a key ingredient. Many women do not enjoy sex with a man who doesn't love them.
It happens to some men too. My current husband had no issues when young able to have sex with any female who was interested in him. Now, he's only into me as his wife and though that might not stop other guys, he has found his body not even reacting to women who hit on him and i have witnessed women doing that, ones who didn't realize I was his wife. So sex may become better for both of you over time. But you can also be sexually mismatched, having disharmony in both your pheremones. Pheremones are what make one person become attracted sexually to another. You can't change the ones you were born with so you or he will only find the best sex with someone who is the same as them. As theres no sign or way of knowing until you try a kiss or more and it fails, you just have to try and dont take it personally if one of you dont really work for the other, you will be perfect for someone else.

Hope this helps some.

So, I'm in seventh grade and I have had this crush on a boy ever since sixth grade started. He used to be one of my close friend's friend in fifth grade before my friend moved away, so I know a bit about him. It gets really hard for me to focus in any classes I have with him, I'm not overly obsessed or anything but I just really like him but as I'm pretty shy I don't know how to tell him because we've maintained a friendly-acquaintance relationship over a year now, and I haven't even had the nerve to open up to a friend as him, let alone tell him I like him... I'm just way too shy and afraid he just won't look at who I am as just a friend again, or that word will get around the school and people will bug me about it. Can anyone help me to let him know I like him, and what to do if things go wrong? Or, at the very least, how we can be good friends?

So he used to know your friend who moved, and thats the extent to which you and he know each other in passing, as a friend of a friend. It really would be nice to know how well you know him. I have friends of friends too. Some I know well enough to consider my own friend too and others I barely know except by name and sight and only say hi and nothing else.
It kinda depends on whether you barely know each other, meaning never talk or hang out or do stuff together, or whether you have been consistently his friend since your friend moved away.
See, if you already have such a relationship, to me, I would describe that as a friendship, even if you both didn't formally ask each other to be friends. An acquaintance is someone like a fellow student you only know little of from observation, but not from interacting with them, knowing just name and face and the few things you can watch at school about them.

This is important as I have two different suggestions based on which it is, a friend or just someone you know of but have not done anything other than say Hi how are you in passing.

Since you say you are shy, I am going to guess that you are shy with all people not just guys.
There is a shyness, more of an unsureness of what to do or not in making friends or more with the opposite sex. Your at the age this interest starts.
If you are shy with all people, you may want to work on getting over that. Its quite simple, but you have to diligently to the steps of a recipe I can give you to get over it. It worked for me and I was in my last yr of HS when I did that. If you want those instructions, that's a whole new long letter so ask for it and i can send it to you here on advicenators but you can't ask for it in rating comments but must go to my column and there's a button there for asking a new question. You can contact me there.

If you are only shy with him or boys in general, here's tips on how to start conversations. Without the interacting of conversations, there is no chance of you becoming friends. So you need to get comfortable starting convo's. Since he's in some classes with you, that makes it even easier beccause you have that class, and teacher in common. So you can always start a chat with asking him a question that is open ended. That means a question that can not be answered with a yes or no cus theres no reason for the other to continue talking if thats all you wanted to know and then it feels very awkward to have no plan. I know cus I've been there. I was even afraid to smile at people or look them in the eye for fear it might cause them to think I was being friendly and they might start talking to me and i had no clue. I was the first child, and my parents didn't know how to help. You have to pay attention if you ask the first question like, "How did you do on the test Friday?" Listen to his answer and try to find anything he said with which to launch your next question. It might be to get clarification and more info out of him. Yeah I'm giving you the subtle way to become friends, haven't forgotten. I just figure that no one wants to do the awkward walk up to someone and ask to be friends or to date... that leaves you open to feeling worse if turned down.

So say he says, "I got a passing grade." and thats all he says and goes back to being silent. How can you get him to keep up talking? He may not be into that subject as much as others. You can then respond with giving some info on yourself in the same situation and then asking another question until you hit something that he likes to talk about and then the convo flows. Once you've had a chanced to chat for a few minutes, you end the talk with telling him, I really enjoyed talking with you and would love to do this a lot more often. Wait and I'll give you my cell # and if you feel comfortable with it, get yours too." Most kids who are not truly interested will not say no but trade numbers. The deal is whether he calls to talk or not. But you can always ask if other than at school whats the best time to text or call him. The thing about liking someone is tricky. Remember the guys have as little experience as the girls in knowing what to do, how to answer. So if a girl or guy tells a person that they really like them when the other doesn't feel that way, it puts them in an awkward spot and they may say things they don't mean for lack of knowing what to do. The best step with guys is to become friends first. Its a given, that a guy likes you at least as a friend if he's willing to talk to you or seek you out in a crowd. Guys dont waste their time talking to girls they aren't interested in in some way. Girls too. The thing here is that we all fear if we act friendly toward someone that we aren't really interested in being friends with or dating, that friendliness might work as encouragement to make that other person you aren't too fond of, pursue you really hard. SO, we tend to stay away from any interaction with people we don't like or have some interest in, especially when we are younger, preteens thru college age even sometimes.
With him or for any future guy you might find yourself falling for, remember at least to never state what you feel as something that exists now, even if its true...thats where even an older adult who needs longer to get to the same place, might with time but knowing you already like or love him, puts the pressure on and scares a guy off. So once friends, it is okay after plenty time hanging out together to state that this is a condition that is beginning to happen. Avoid using the word like or love and remember this one I found in a you tube video on dating, " I am beginning to have some stronger feelings than friendship for you. Would you be willing to explore with me to see if we could be more than friends." Don't even mention being your boyfriend or dating as that is enough to scare males off. Girls tend to go too serious on them too early.
And theres some truth to it. Females are wirerd that way but you can learn how to act differently with males. As you get older, check out dating advice on the net. In meanwhile, lots of the same should work to gain him as a friend.

Keep in mind that a crush is mostly an attraction to someone who doesnt know of your attraction and there may be little to no interacting with them. so everything you feel and dream about them is basically just made up in your head cus of course theres no way to know what if feels like to have this person compliment you, ask your opinion, want to hold your hand, so you imagine what it is going to be like as if its a for sure thing that is going to happen but rarely does.
That sets you up for things going 'wrong' for you as you called it. Your own thought life on him and hopes and dreams can leave you open for the same kind of hurt a girl experiences when a guy she really dated breaks up with her. But it was never a friendship or other relationship if it was all yet in her head. The thing is to get it out of your head and into reality and only you can do that. He has no clue. And telling him now may make him not even want to be friends with knowing how you have feelings of 'more than friend' currently. Let him decide from a friendship if he's even interested in that, to whether he wants something more at some point in time. If I haven't been clear or you have another question now, you can just write to me. Good luck dear.

My friend is 63 years old and was experiencing noticeable fatigue besides his age. His doctor said he has a 70% blockage in his neck. His doctor prescribed statin and told him to come back in 6 months. 70% blockage seems dangerous. Does he need surgery to clear his neck vein. Should he get 2nd opinion?

Always get 2nd opinions or as many as needed until you find a Dr. who really does know their stuff or is willing to research more. My mom went to her Dr. for years complaining of abdominal pains.He always told her nothing was wrong. She didn't go see anyone else. All your regular clinic can do for initial testing is bloodwork and urine analysis. but those don't always point out some medical problems. When it got real bad, she ended up in emergency and I got a call from her that the Drs just confirmed she had liver and pancreas cancer.
I still beleive if she got the help and diagnosis 5, 6 years earlier, she may have had a chance to live with some of the cancer treatments.

......I met this guy a couple weeks ago and we really hit it of. Last weekend he came to hang out with me and a friend while my friend was babysitting. We had been talking nonstop all week. So when he came over it was great. An he ended up spending the night. He slept on the couch with me and we were cuddling and everything was so perfect. But then he kissed me and we were kissing but I madw him stop. He seemed vaguely disappointed but didn't argue with me at all. He is such a good guy but I think he got an erection more than once that night so I tried to put a little space etween us. Physically. All in all it was a great night. Until morning came and his friend showed up to get him. He couldn't get away from me fast enough. I'm used to being used but i expected more from him. He texted me almost immediately after they left and since then he keeps switching from "it was a mistake and shouldn't have happened" to "I wish we could be more than friends"

You might ask exactly what he thinks was the mistake part. I see no issue with a guy wanting to kiss a girl and hey, they get erections just from thinking about a girl, so its plenty natural to happen from kissing.
He or you may see it as a mistake. As a parent with grown kids, I had babysitters in the past and rules that only the babysitter was allowed at my house /same goes if its the childs home the sitter came to. My reason is i wanted their full focus to be on the child. And I also didn't want people I didn't know or approve of before hand to come over while the babysitting was occuring.
So, my own feeling is that it is in bad taste for your friend to have allowed you over, worse for your male friend to show up, and even worse for him to be kissing you. In my case, a new babysitter ended up inviting multiple friends over to party while my child slept in crib. They ate everything in my fridge and left empty alcohol bottles all over, cigarette stubs and the smell of it and other trash. The manager noticed but cell phones didnt exist at the time so she couldn't call me.
Since the other advice giver answered from another angle, I wanted to make sure this was covered. You may have had permission by the parents to be there, and you may be good people but guess whos the first to be blamed if something does go wrong at the home of the babysat child, all the teens or adults who were present.

Hi I started a new birth control pack and its my first time with trigestrel. Will it cause any harm if I took the Saturday and Sunday red pills with the new pack?

Wow, if I read this correctly, are you saying you took 3 pills at once? Two from the old pack and one from the new? If so, never ever do that again. It probably won't kill you but the symptoms if any may be extreme and last long.

Never take Any kind of prescription drug differently than prescribed. Some times we forget a day and its best to wait until the right time the following day instead of doubling up.
The pills trick your body into believing it is already pregnant so an egg won't be released. But with many birth controls that are hormone based, many females actually get the symptoms of being pregnant, thats how well your body is tricked. So gaining weight even in breast, mood swings, nausea, and all the rest can happen. So if you take more than just one a day, even if its a placebo if you have the kind that allows you to get a period for a week, then any pregnancy symptoms can be worse. It also can really mess up your bodys ability to even have the period at the correct time and have lots of break through bleeding even while taking the active pills.

I know its all new to you and you just did what lots of people think of doing. But next time, call your pharmacist where you picked them up as they can counsel you what to do or not to do.

Also, if you ever double up, you may not have enough to last thru end of month. If you forget a couple days, then by end of month when you have a new pack, either throw the unused ones away or use them a day at a time and start the new pack later. A good way to remember to take it daily is to set an alarm on your cell to go off every day same time with the reminder to take the pill. Time of day doesnt matter, just that you are consistant.
The pill can only protect if taken as prescribed. When forgotten, that messes up what your body may do. It might not release an egg, but then again, it might. You don't want to take those chances.
If you do forget a pill, use a condom that day and the next couple days to be safe.

Sorry for the second one here but I forgot some details. He also had said brb he's going to make a sandwich... Then he went to go talk to that fake account.
You seem knowledgeable and honestly the only one I've talked to who's truly wise. So I want to make sure you have the full picture. He truly broke his promises. And his excuse about the friend was so ridiculous.
On the one with my fake account, he originally said "I just wanted to be friends" because he didn't know what else to say. Then he changed his story. Then he changed it again saying he didn't know why he did. That's obviously horseshit, his excuse.
I also forgot to mention that his dream wasn't to live here. It was only that he wanted to come here so that he can live near me. But we couldn't visit before that because of something on my end that makes it impossible for the next three years unless it was in secret and I had no opportunity to do so.

Thank you for the followup. It seems you have already figured him out dear. When it comes to relationships and love, its a mixed bag out there. Not every person is going to be a solid good person through out. So it helps to be cautious and like yourself, not ready to take what someone says and does at face value, believing it to be true until a person can prove them selves by being consistant over time to be good. The fact that you ran into him doesnt mean that you are bad at picking out good people. Its just that so many are good at faking it. When you finally catch someone in lies , the idea is to not to associate with them and learn those warning signs so you can spot fake people sooner. Even after a divorce in later years and going into dating again, I met more fake, false, liars than good guys. It can be frustrating, but don't give up. There will be someone decent out there for you one day.

Hi, I'm seventeen and my boyfriend is eighteen. We've only been dating for four months but obviously we've developed mutual feelings over time. I'm a christian and I've been raised from more of a conservative family and same for him. We both kinda have the same background. My mama raised me to ya know have manners, dress modestly, and love our Lord Savior Jesus Christ. My boyfriends mother has raised him the same as well. Yada, yada, yada.. I see girls who dress pretty skimpy nowadays and I hear that guys are really visual and they like to see that kinda stuff. That makes me uneasy. When my boyfriend is around attractive girls(or when I'm there with him), I start doubting myself and our relationship. That makes him upset and I feel awful.. we almost broke up because of it. I am very serious about becoming his wife too. I'm pretty thin 108, 5'4 and I've struggled with eating disorder and depression in my past. However, I still struggle with anxiety. I know I have confidence though because I'm confident when I'm on stage. I guess time will tell. I would love, love, love to get knowledgeable advice on this subject. Thank you so much.

I am in my late 50s but I used to struggle with confidence. So I can state right now that the kind of confidence in ones talent or ability doesn't necessarily reflect the same when it comes to a girls appearance. I have lived long enough to see men of all ages react positively to me, more so in my older years where I am self confident in all areas. It doesn't seem to matter if I am getting wrinkles and grey in hair or I have a short torso, pudgy tummy, knobby elbows, and a big nose. Those are true of me by the way. But as a package deal, I win out over model types who have no self confidence, are shallow, have boring empty minds, and may be drama queens.
My first marriage was a Christian man. He did not value me much and abused me verbally for 20 yrs til I left him. My 2nd husband was not raised in the church but is spiritual. He doesnt spout a bunch of religion, instead he lives it and acts out what Jesus would do. The first one only talked the talk but didn't walk the walk.

Your boyfriend is with you because he likes who you are, inside and out. If he didn't, he would not be pretending to be with you, but just go for the sexier dressed girls. Most often, guys don't tend to want to put up an act to pretend they like one thing when they really want something else. Lots of guys I know just don't think or work that way. Its not the trait of males unless they happen to have low self confidence themselves, and a desire to appear a certain way if they think it will gain them brownie points which they hope will make them feel better. But something applied from the outside ( whats seen or heard or done) can not effect change on the inside. Therefore, to battle your issues, it needs to be done on the inside for you.

I beleive the best thing to do is address the eating disorder and depression and anxiety. That is something rampant and common today but that doesn't make it part of how God planned us. That all starts in our minds. I would highly recommend reading books by Dr. David D. Burns. One is on anxieties and the other on depression and other disorders. A person doesn't have to have mental illness to have a thought life that causes them so many problems. The truth is that many people actually do this but they just don't dwell on these thoughts long enough for them to cause problems. Heres the website for Dr. Burns and an excerpt from one book to give you a taste of what his books are like. HIs way of dealing with social anxiety are exactly what helped me be cured of that, although I got the exact same recipe from another private source long ago. However there are Dr. s today who use non medicine methods to heal that are more effective. Tho theres such a thing as chemical imbalance in people, those afflicted are very few. Most people are just stuck in negative or distorted thinking and from his list, I know I have done probably every one of them at some point.

https://feelinggood.com/ and now the except:

REGARDING ANXIETIES
excerpts from “When Panic Attacks”
by David D. Burns

Causes of Anxiety:

Cognitive theory: Negative thoughts cause anxiety. Cognition is a fancy word for a thought. Every time you feel anxious or afraid ist's because you're telling yourse'f that something bad is about to happen. The fear doesnt result as of a particular situation you are in but from the negative messages you give yourself. When you change how you think, you change how you feel.

Exposure theory: Here, avoidance ins the cause of anxiety. A person remains anxious as long as they avoid that which they fear (ie heights, germs, etc) If shy, you avoid people. In this theory, the moment you stop avoiding but face the things you fear most, you'll defeat your fears.

Hidden Emotion theory: Being a 'nice' person is the cause of all anxiety. People prone to anxiety are the nicest people anyones ever known, people pleasers, avoiders of conflict and negative emotions. So these people when upset, sweep their feelings under the rug so to speak or stuff it deep down inside where it will fester until it reappears as an anxiety. Expose the hidden, undealt with emotions, solve that problem and most often, anxiety disappears.

Biological theory: Anxiety and depression come from a chemical imbalance in the brain that needs medication to fix it. Usually Xananz, Ativan, Valium for minor tranquilizers and anti depressants like Prozac, Paxil and Zoloft. Most the American Psychology Asso. Believe this is the only way to treat depression and/or anxiety, like a diabeties patient requiring insulin the rest of their life.

Which one is correct? Either you have to change the way you think, stop running from your fears, express your feelings or take a pill. Though a few may have been helped with medication, there are even more for whom it hasn't worked. Howcver the first 3 have a almost 100% success record, depending on which one is the issue causing anxiety in a person.

COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS

All or Nothing Thinking: Seeing things only in Black or White so that anything in gray in between isn't acceptable. So if not White and a success, you believer yourself Black and a failure.

Overgeneralization: Seeing a single bad event as a never ending pattern of failure. Failing one test and saying that now you're going to fail the class because of it.

Mental Filter: Dwelling on one negative thing you did and discounting all your positives. As in the one test failed, you refuse to acknowledge that you aced all the rest.

Discounting the Positive: Insisting that any of your talents and accomplishments don't count.

Jumping to conclusions: A belief based on things not warrented by facts, such as Fortune telling and Mind reading.
Fortune Telling: Telling yourself something bad is going to happen. If claustrophobic, and in an elevator, you may fear the doors will never open and you'll be stuck in there.

Mind Reading: You believe you know what others are thinking of you, their judgements of you and you voice these out in your head. Your boss asks you to come to his office and you start to think he feels you are inadequate in your job and you're about to be reprimanded or fired when all he wanted to tell you is that you were voted Employee of the Month.

Magification:& Minimazation: Exaggerating the danger of a situation in your mind. Blowing out of proportion any simple little thing. Say you discover a bump or patch on your skin and you've read or heard about something like that being a sympton of something major wrong so you worry believing you now have some of the other symptoms too and expect a doctor to find you have the disorder but you have a clean bill of health instead. Minimizing is seeing all your strengths and positive qualties as amounting to nothing.

Emotional Reasoning: You base your logical conclusions on how you feel. I feel scared so that means I am in danger at this moment.

Should statements: Based on a vague idea of how normal people are or the normal society so you say I should be more outgoing, I shouldn't feel nervous or unsure.

Labeling: You give yourself negative labels such as I am a fool, I am stupid, I am a loser that nobody cares about.

Blame: Has two kinds, self blame and blaming othersl
Self Blame: You beat yourself up for every little thing you can think of, including being anxious.

Other Blame: Blaming others and denying your own role in a situation or problem.

(I found my copies at my library. But you can order through bookstores if you decide what you want to read from checking out the website. BTW, my other source for recipe of how to get over social anxieties was straight from God when I prayed asking for help. It just strikes me as funny that years later, the exact things God told me that cured me, are written in the book on anxietys, so I feel you can trust that God is working through that man, a psychologist who has turned author in hopes of reaching more and healing more.)

Hi everybody.I am 18 years old,and i just got out of a relationship that really sucks.
Well, first we was besfriends, and i just fell in love with him, he's in my class btw, but things seemed normal till one day when he kissed deeply, and moved on it the day after, things became weird between us, saying he was confused but he liked me then, without noticing , i find my self in a friends with benefits relationship, in the beginning he said he wasn,t ready for it andd stuff, but then it turned out that he used to tell me that he cared abt me just to get what he wanted from,me , with no one of my friends knowing, we didn't have sex and i'm still virgin (till marriage), we just kissed,handjob, b_job, fingering...and i'm just feeling disgusted from myself, cz in the end i knew he was using me but i still played the game, it continued for 6 months almost.I just need help to move on it and gain my self-confidence and trust men again , cause it was my first experience and it was really bad, and now i think all men are like that.
More, in the end of the year he started telling our classmates abt it, making me ashamed and sinful in front of myfriends, and treating me as a bitch.
School is 2weeks from now, how should i react with him, or with any of our classmates.
I'm counting on ur help.
THANKS

Advice gave correct definition of 'friends with benefits'. However, now its a matter of how you define 'having sex' that determines if thats what you truly were, "friends with benefits".
Although it happens all the time with teens cus teen boys have sex on the mind all the time, hoping for a real life female partner and then bragging about it to their friends or tearing down the female.
When two people are doing anything sexual, that is considered sex, these days. You are saying that you did not have 'penis in vagina' (intercourse) part of sex. Yes, this is only a part of all that is considered sex. Afterall, how would you answer the question, "At what point, do gay people officially have sex?" With 2 vaginas or 2 penises, there obviously can't be penis in vagina sex and we're excluding dildos and fingers for this.
So according to how I see as when someone is having sex, you did and so are no longer 'virgin' meaning untouched by a male. You've touched him and he's touched you for the purposes of pleasuring each other. Therefore, if you both truly were best friends before, then yes, I suppose if both of you discussed having sex together and both decided it would be a good thing, then yes, its a friends with benefits deal.
When a young male tries to bowl over a gal with attention and fancy words and a supposed friendship only to get into her pants and get her into his, this reeks more of teen male pulling a fast one of you, tricking you, all to get his own satisfaction. Many young males feel peer pressure if they haven't had sex yet in HS. and so often times, they will completely make it up, picking out a girl and making up the whole sordid story of taking her virginity. And this is done just to save face with peers but with no care as to what it will do to the girl. What two people do in private, at any age, behind closed doors is strictly their business and should not be blabbed around in public.
Since he started blabbing this all to classmates last year, it shows me that he doesn't care about what this does to you. Someone who doesn't care about me and would do something like that to me, I do not consider them a friend. While a person can 'act' the part of friend in the beginning, at some point, a person who is 'acting' or its called putting on a persona, a false character or identity, the false facade doesnt last forever and through cracks in their kept up pretense, the real self with show thru.
So whats happened is that his real self came through loud and clear as far as I am concerned. And his real self is not even remotely anything like a best friend. Trust me that not all men are like that. I also happen to know that the men who are the male version of sluts when they were younger, can settle down and become wonderful devoted husbands in the future. I never knew my 2nd husband when he was young but he was very sexual at a young age and couldn't get enough, although he still treated the females well. But having different women all the time was no big thing. At some point, some of these men will wise up and fall in love with just one woman. This however doesnt happen often in teen or college years. Yeah, they may love and have sex and lots of break ups until a mature sincere person meets the right one.
So don't let this one experience color your outlook dear. There will be many more learning experiences with high points and also heart breaks. But the thing is for you to learn from each bad experience to choose someone a step better next time instead of settling for less or the same. Eventually, you'll know how to spot a phony, or immature person or ones who are not sincere and only want sex.
There is nothing wrong with the sex that you did. It is not a shameful sinful thing. God gave us sex to be a very special way for two people to express their love together. Its just that humans have been able to find all sorts of ways to make it a bad thing. At worst, you could only really label yourself inexperienced and naive and that is not a crime.
So enter school with your head held up high, become confident and until you do, just act confident. Do not let what he did and said influence how you feel or give you worry that others make believe him. Actually it does you a favor, weeding out more people like him who would believe him 100% over getting the real story from you. This kind of ridiculing is a form of bullying and I got lots of that in school. I was also shy then.
Remember, bullies need a payoff. And their payoff is when they get reactions from you, trying to negate what they say, shaking, crying, yelling, sulking. If they see that it doesnt faze you, most will stop. While I am one for not stooping to his level, if he still persists in tryig to make trouble for you with your friends and others, only then would I go with advicemans suggestion of turning the tables on him and saying something degrading about him, and guys value their penis so thats a good place to start. If it still doesnt stop, you might check with a school counselor as to what can be done is he goes around telling sex stories about you and treating you like a bitch.

Your own friends show really know better but then, during teen years, that is sometimes a hard lesson for teens to learn. SO if you feel the need to have a talk with friends... you could let them know what parts are true and whats not. Gove your impression of his pretending to be best friends only to get in your pants. And warn other girls off to him. Gain their support.

How would you feel if your significant other said that your approval means the world to me ?
For example:
your significant other asks your opinion on something
Then you give your honest opinion and say you approve of it
And then your significant other says "thank, your approval means the world to me"
What does it mean when someone says that ? And how would you feel if someone said it to you?

How would I feel? On top of the world dear, cus that saying means a lot of really good!

When someone says "You mean the world to me" or "that meant the world to me", what they are saying is that they have a very high value of who you are and therefore, what you think, how your mind works, valueing your opinion and approvals.

It also means that they trust you, that you will speak the truth, even if its something they don't like but need to know so they can make honest improvements. Some people only will say what they think you want to hear, afraid to speak the truth. Also, approval of something can reflect back to the one who made or is in charge of something. Your approval will make him feel approved of by your giving a positive opinion. He sees you as intelligent too, with a sharp mind and ability to think out situations and problems.

In fact, one might say that you or your approval or opinion have a higher value to that person than almost anything else...that is if they really mean what they said.
Don't worry, its females who more often use flowery phrases to gain brownie points, whether they meant what they said or not.
Men aren't typically as quick to speak such a phrase which conveys how they feel about you. Yes, this guy must really be in to you. I wouldn't be surprised if it goes as far as him falling in love if he hasn't already.
Why do I say this? Because my husband is like this, thinks the world of me. Said, there could never be anyone else who could catch his interest if he lost me to death. He is in love with me and that is followed up by the compliments to me, his value of everything there is to my personality and character. He is quick to support and uphold whatever it is I wish to do. His value of how I think and my opinions and thought processes are one of the reasons he is in love with me.

hello my names madison my ex broke up with me about 3 weeks ago we have been dating for 1 year and 1 month he said he needed space and now he's with some other girl he claims they're "just friends" but i could see there is more i never did anything to hurt him if anything he hurt me and i just want to move on but i keep crying at nights knowing he docent even care and that he is holding someone else hurts so bad! someone please help Thank you!

Your title about someone better has given me a clue as to what's going on inside for you. Yeah, we all hurt, real bad when someone leaves us, I've experienced the same but in my case, it was a guy who wasn;t young and not sure of what he wanted. He was into his fifties, separated but when the wife came along and said she wanted to get back together, he left me for her due to the kids and history they had together. He found himself in love with both of us. He cried too but couldn't see a way to have both of us.
Love and dating is complicated dear. I figure you must be looking for your 'forever love' as in life long sweetheart, whether married or not.

Here's what I found out the hard way. Many people have no clear detailed idea of what they are looking for in a mate. Anyone who is attracted to the others looks, is easily considered and accepted as their bf/gf. Dating (for heteros) is either for social reasons, having someone of the opposite sex for doing stuff with, like going dancing, even for casual sex. The problem is that females tend to believe that if the dating relationship has lasted a certain amount of time, and/or there is sex involved, that the guy is totally settled in his mind that he wants only you for the rest of your and his life. That is not how it works. I dated plenty of guys who wanted only that and I was okay with it. Yes, there was love, but it was not being 'in love'. I found there is a difference. I also learned from several sources, that we cause more heartache for ourselves when we start to compare ourselves to other women, especially any new female ones the guy may have. Your wondering if she is better than you? Guess what, thats common thinking we all do, or at least I did until I learned better.

It may not really be that there are qualities of yours that another female is better at, or traits, or even body types and features. The thing to keep in mind is that whether there is or isn't another girl for him currently, she is just 'different' not better than you. The word 'Better' comes into play only when we consider, who is the better partner for you or for him, the perfect match. Comparing means you are not measuring up to 'whatever'. There is quite a lot that goes into finding your special mate. The question is what have you been willing to settle for, an okay guy who kinda loves you, one who does but has some major faults you're willing to overlook, or perhaps the one who really feels like they are your other half. Finding if someone is right for you does not need a year or even 6 mos to discover. It really depends on how often you spend time together and How you spend that time. Watching movies together, no deep conversations occur. Bootie calls mostly, means the friendship part isn't being considered or worked on. It takes having someone who can be considered you best friend and also having the chemistry and being sexually matched, to make a relationship work. If one or the other person is always thinking that the grass might be greener if they were with another person they haven't even met, they already aren't committed in their heart to the current relationship.
You do not know if he's with someone or what. But just in case he decides later he wants to come back, you need to decide right now, who is the perfect guy for you and that is based on a list of needs and wants based on who you are as a personality. I have a detailed document on how to make this list and look for Mr. Right. Just down to earth facts. It sure helped me when I did this cus it led me to my current 2nd husband. I'd be glad to share it with you if you write and ask me but contact me thru my column not asking on the rating comments as theres no way for me to answer there.
What I will share now is something I found on the net, dating help for women by men but I added my own thoughts to it, filling it out better, so heres the entire thing:

Either he's doing a bad job of showing it to you or you are doing a bad job of picking up on the signals.
Why some relationships aren't working in a nut shell:
Some women give their love and devotion to a guy who doesnt deserve it, who is wrong for her
while others no matter how plain and simple the signs are of his love and devotion, they don't see it or trust it because of lack of self confidence.

1 A woman's insecurity and neediness will kill a man's love
Do you love me, do you love me? No matter what he says or does, she never believes him, even if he's never done anything to earn her distrust.
2 It's impossible to love others and be loved by others unless you love yourself first.
Don't look to a man for all your self esteem and self worth. Have it already before relationship..
3. Men do not show love the same way women do. For them it's how they feel when she is around and how she fulfills the dreams of the woman he's wants and how possessive he feels if another man was paying too much attention to her. Some women tranlate love into his obsession for her and devotion while men translate her love for him as being appreciated and respected.

7 Questions to know if he really loves you

1. Does he say I love you. For some, it's a hard thing to say but they show it to you in other ways. When he says “I love you”, he is viewing that as a commitment to you. It is not a flippant phrase.
Saying I love you too early like during first couple dates is a warning about the guy. Its a very good chance he is needy and wanting a woman to be his mom. Other phrases from a guy count too, like you're awesome, I adore you. You're the woman I always dreamed of.
2. Does he make you a priority in his life? Guys have more than one priority...things very important to him but you should be one of top 3.
What he does for you or how he acts can't be faked easily because it's hard to lie with your body. Things he does without having to be asked, making dinner, picking up something for a collection you have, making time for you, even if it's a walk or a long phone chat. If the guy likes you, he'll make time for you at least a quarter of the time.
3 Does he tell friends about you and like to show you off? Have you been introduced to his family and friends? If he keeps you separate, he's hiding something or ashamed or fearful of something
4. Does he care about your pleasure during sex? Is he only into seeking his own pleasure or your's too. Does he open his eyes and want to have both your eyes connect while making love?
5. Does he respect and encourage you? Respect means, does he value your opinion, do you share decisions and treats you as a partner. Are you encouraged by him to have your own friends and hobbies outside the relationship and encourage you to seek your dreams and uphold you in that.
Jealousy is not love, it's control. It's okay to be protective, but jealousy shouldn't be what prompts the protectiveness
6. Do your friends and family like how he treats you? Others make a great gauge for judging a guys character.
7. Does he look at you with lust and passion in his eyes, with a hunger and thirst for you? Does he give you admiring looks, does he still want to sneak peeks down your shirt. What he sees is Very important since guys are visually stimulated. If he isn't looking anymore, he has lost his interest. All men because of this natural trait, will also view other women but do so discreetly, without being an ass about it. Don't expect a man to look at only you. If he doesn't look at other women at all, it may be a sign that he is gay. You do want a man who is visually stimulated by women.

How many points are true for you with your guy?
7 true He treats you as a Queen and he is an exceptional man
5-6 true He loves you. Just don't focus on what is lacking.
3-4 true He loves you enough to make the relationship work for him. If it's enough for you, then be content. If you feel like you're settling for less, let him go and look for something better.
1-2 true He's a douche-bag, a user or controller. Leave immediately.

I'm a 17 year old female and my parents never let me out of the house. I'm in university now and a part of being a freshman was the frosh week, I paid my own money to go and because of my parents I only attended 3 out of the 10 days of frosh week, also the days I attended there were parties that started around 8pm and ended at 12am, of course my parents didn't let me go to any of them. My mom made it clear I had to leave campus by 6pm because it wasn't safe to stay on campus at night, yeah I know it's not safe but the parties were patrolled by police officers and to move around the campus at night there's a security program the school has that you can call to escort you to wherever you wanna go. There was another frosh event to go to the beach originally my mom said no because since I can't swim there was no reason for me to be at the beach but I had to beg and plead for her to let me go because I only went to frosh for 2 days, she finally let me go but that was the last day I was ever allowed to go again, now today's the last day and it ends with a boat cruise and my mom said I can't go because it's a boat, like wtf? She's always thinking of the worst case scenario, how am I supposed to survive in the real world when they're always sheltering me? Because of her my sister and I are afraid to walk down our own street by ourselves because right when high school started she would usually walk with us to the bus stop even when I told her to stay home. She expects me to be able to talk to strangers boldly but then keeps me locked in the house, she usually only lets me out the house if I'm hanging out with the friends I've known since elementary school. i wish I lived on residence I would've had more freedom, what can I do to help my mom stop thinking of the worst case scenario? because being sheltered isn't always a good thing

It sure sounds like anxieties and phobia's to me. However I can't believe that both parents suffer the same thing. Maybe one and the other just got so used to going along with it and supporting them that they don't see this as odd behavior.
So whomever, if not both, could use the help of a psychologist, one who knows and believes in certain treatment practices that can stop the distorted thinking that causes fears or encourages certain anxiety ridden actions due to the thinking.

While it is good to be careful these days, the parents are doing you a great disservice by applying their fears to you, not allowing you the chance to learn any adult responsibilities or decision making of your own.

There's not much to do but wait until you are 18 at which point you are considered an adult and can make your own decisions without their approval. There are 2 catches though.

1. if you are living in their home still while going to school, you must still obey their rules of the house as you would with any landlord where ever you rent. If they want quiet after 10pm, you follow that rule. If you are not allowed to bring a boyfriend over, you follow the rule. If you want your total freedom, you'd have to change where you live, perhaps renting a bedroom in a house near the University is probably the cheapest.
2. If they are paying for your college, then all the control is in their hands. They could do as plenty of parents have done, give ultimatums. THe usual is to do exactly as they wish on EVERYTHING they say, or they will pull the funding for any further schooling. Yes, I've read from others whose parents threatened to stop paying for college if the girl did not obey every one of their rules, no matter how dumb or weird their fears are. I have not yet read of any parents doing the same to a son, just daughters.
It think it has something to do with being females, in some ways the weaker sex and easily preyed upon, rape, date rape, or simply having sex with a boyfriend and getting pregnant. Then theres the fear of losing you to death, or for some other reason.
ITs a terrible situation when an adult child has to choose between having a place to live, and college paid but having the parents instill control over you or choosing to put school on the back burner to do later, get a job now, get your own place or with a roommate and start living your life on your own. You may benefit greatly from selecting any older adults like your parents age, as your mentor and adult friend to go to for help with the things you should know but the parents never allowed you to learn as a teen. I would suggest someone you feel really comfortable with, accepted and loved, who is a stable and intelligent, friendly adult to use as your sounding board. You could just continue to write here but i know it helps to have the real person there with you. Perhaps an aunt if she wont side with the parents, or a teacher or counselor at school, or perhaps there is a girlfriends parents who have always shown some favoritism towards you and are good parents. You could ask and I am sure they would feel honored to help you out with advice that you may need on a more constant basis for a while if you are trying to establish your independence.
If you only just turned 17, a teen who can be totally responsible for themselves, housing job and paying all their own bills, etc. can go thru the court system to become an emancipated teen but its a legal process and make take time and depends on whether the court accepts whatever reasoning for you wanting that status and you may turn 18 long before they are even ready to grant that. I am sorry for your situation and realize my answers won't instantly solve your issues with the parents but they are the kind of issues that can't be solved easily. I wish you the best outcome on this.
If your parents are paying for your college, they

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