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he has found someone better..?
hello my names madison my ex broke up with me about 3 weeks ago we have been dating for 1 year and 1 month he said he needed space and now he's with some other girl he claims they're "just friends" but i could see there is more i never did anything to hurt him if anything he hurt me and i just want to move on but i keep crying at nights knowing he docent even care and that he is holding someone else hurts so bad! someone please help Thank you!
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well hello young lady i am pamela kaspar well i know it won t help you but he is such of jerk what you should do is to tell me what you ve been up lately so i can understand a little why he did that ? did he changed lately ? anyway what you should do first is to make him regret and second to try to have another man not to be in a relation with you need him as a friend more trust me my ex did that but he regret it and come back to me ... but i was totally forget about him
so what you should do is do anything he likes before with someone else take a pic like you are happy like you moved on and share it so he can see it take some pic at a party or with some guy that he hated really bad mean while try to be close as a friend with a boy who you are sure he likes you we should talk more so try to text me so i can see what he s reaction when he saw your pictures he will pick like talk to you ? block you ? just talk to me i?could help you and by the way how old is he
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Your title about someone better has given me a clue as to what's going on inside for you. Yeah, we all hurt, real bad when someone leaves us, I've experienced the same but in my case, it was a guy who wasn;t young and not sure of what he wanted. He was into his fifties, separated but when the wife came along and said she wanted to get back together, he left me for her due to the kids and history they had together. He found himself in love with both of us. He cried too but couldn't see a way to have both of us.
Love and dating is complicated dear. I figure you must be looking for your 'forever love' as in life long sweetheart, whether married or not.
Here's what I found out the hard way. Many people have no clear detailed idea of what they are looking for in a mate. Anyone who is attracted to the others looks, is easily considered and accepted as their bf/gf. Dating (for heteros) is either for social reasons, having someone of the opposite sex for doing stuff with, like going dancing, even for casual sex. The problem is that females tend to believe that if the dating relationship has lasted a certain amount of time, and/or there is sex involved, that the guy is totally settled in his mind that he wants only you for the rest of your and his life. That is not how it works. I dated plenty of guys who wanted only that and I was okay with it. Yes, there was love, but it was not being 'in love'. I found there is a difference. I also learned from several sources, that we cause more heartache for ourselves when we start to compare ourselves to other women, especially any new female ones the guy may have. Your wondering if she is better than you? Guess what, thats common thinking we all do, or at least I did until I learned better.
It may not really be that there are qualities of yours that another female is better at, or traits, or even body types and features. The thing to keep in mind is that whether there is or isn't another girl for him currently, she is just 'different' not better than you. The word 'Better' comes into play only when we consider, who is the better partner for you or for him, the perfect match. Comparing means you are not measuring up to 'whatever'. There is quite a lot that goes into finding your special mate. The question is what have you been willing to settle for, an okay guy who kinda loves you, one who does but has some major faults you're willing to overlook, or perhaps the one who really feels like they are your other half. Finding if someone is right for you does not need a year or even 6 mos to discover. It really depends on how often you spend time together and How you spend that time. Watching movies together, no deep conversations occur. Bootie calls mostly, means the friendship part isn't being considered or worked on. It takes having someone who can be considered you best friend and also having the chemistry and being sexually matched, to make a relationship work. If one or the other person is always thinking that the grass might be greener if they were with another person they haven't even met, they already aren't committed in their heart to the current relationship.
You do not know if he's with someone or what. But just in case he decides later he wants to come back, you need to decide right now, who is the perfect guy for you and that is based on a list of needs and wants based on who you are as a personality. I have a detailed document on how to make this list and look for Mr. Right. Just down to earth facts. It sure helped me when I did this cus it led me to my current 2nd husband. I'd be glad to share it with you if you write and ask me but contact me thru my column not asking on the rating comments as theres no way for me to answer there.
What I will share now is something I found on the net, dating help for women by men but I added my own thoughts to it, filling it out better, so heres the entire thing:
Either he's doing a bad job of showing it to you or you are doing a bad job of picking up on the signals.
Why some relationships aren't working in a nut shell:
Some women give their love and devotion to a guy who doesnt deserve it, who is wrong for her
while others no matter how plain and simple the signs are of his love and devotion, they don't see it or trust it because of lack of self confidence.
1 A woman's insecurity and neediness will kill a man's love
Do you love me, do you love me? No matter what he says or does, she never believes him, even if he's never done anything to earn her distrust.
2 It's impossible to love others and be loved by others unless you love yourself first.
Don't look to a man for all your self esteem and self worth. Have it already before relationship..
3. Men do not show love the same way women do. For them it's how they feel when she is around and how she fulfills the dreams of the woman he's wants and how possessive he feels if another man was paying too much attention to her. Some women tranlate love into his obsession for her and devotion while men translate her love for him as being appreciated and respected.
7 Questions to know if he really loves you
1. Does he say I love you. For some, it's a hard thing to say but they show it to you in other ways. When he says “I love you”, he is viewing that as a commitment to you. It is not a flippant phrase.
Saying I love you too early like during first couple dates is a warning about the guy. Its a very good chance he is needy and wanting a woman to be his mom. Other phrases from a guy count too, like you're awesome, I adore you. You're the woman I always dreamed of.
2. Does he make you a priority in his life? Guys have more than one priority...things very important to him but you should be one of top 3.
What he does for you or how he acts can't be faked easily because it's hard to lie with your body. Things he does without having to be asked, making dinner, picking up something for a collection you have, making time for you, even if it's a walk or a long phone chat. If the guy likes you, he'll make time for you at least a quarter of the time.
3 Does he tell friends about you and like to show you off? Have you been introduced to his family and friends? If he keeps you separate, he's hiding something or ashamed or fearful of something
4. Does he care about your pleasure during sex? Is he only into seeking his own pleasure or your's too. Does he open his eyes and want to have both your eyes connect while making love?
5. Does he respect and encourage you? Respect means, does he value your opinion, do you share decisions and treats you as a partner. Are you encouraged by him to have your own friends and hobbies outside the relationship and encourage you to seek your dreams and uphold you in that.
Jealousy is not love, it's control. It's okay to be protective, but jealousy shouldn't be what prompts the protectiveness
6. Do your friends and family like how he treats you? Others make a great gauge for judging a guys character.
7. Does he look at you with lust and passion in his eyes, with a hunger and thirst for you? Does he give you admiring looks, does he still want to sneak peeks down your shirt. What he sees is Very important since guys are visually stimulated. If he isn't looking anymore, he has lost his interest. All men because of this natural trait, will also view other women but do so discreetly, without being an ass about it. Don't expect a man to look at only you. If he doesn't look at other women at all, it may be a sign that he is gay. You do want a man who is visually stimulated by women.
How many points are true for you with your guy?
7 true He treats you as a Queen and he is an exceptional man
5-6 true He loves you. Just don't focus on what is lacking.
3-4 true He loves you enough to make the relationship work for him. If it's enough for you, then be content. If you feel like you're settling for less, let him go and look for something better.
1-2 true He's a douche-bag, a user or controller. Leave immediately.
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