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Really torn between two religions?
Hello,
I'm 21 and I'm really confused about whether I'm Jewish or Christian.
I was raised with a Christian mother and a Jewish father who were divorced so depending on which house I was in, I would worship the religion of that parent.
Now I'm an adult and extremely lost about both especially as a college student who wants to be involved in religious organizations on campus.
I went to the Jewish club on campus and didn't understand anything about any of the holidays they were talking about, which was surprising to me, but I guess my father didn't really teach me anything about the religion other than that we follow God and the other basic fundamentals. However, I still feel really drawn to Judaism and want to learn more. I feel like I can't though because people will judge me for not knowing anything and think I'm a fake Jew.
I also feel like a lot more people on my campus are Christian and that there's a ton more organizations so it makes me want to join them instead. I want to be a part of both, but I know that I can't be because that's not how that works and because people will think I'm flip flopping and that I need to make up my mind.
Personally, I choose to worship God and don't pray to Jesus because I believe they were two separate entities. I actually feel really uncomfortable praying to Jesus or singing to Jesus because I only want to pray to the lord which I consider God and whenever I go to church services they always want me to sing and prey to Jesus, which is a problem for me. Does that make me Jewish?
I also feel like nobody really knows what happened and that all I know for sure is that there is a God.
I really need some advice because I don't know what to do. :(
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
A persons religious views or beliefs are not something like a club that one can join although many treat it that way. I may use the word 'spiritual' too and by that, I mean how a person is living their life and whether they are genuinely following what they are most drawn too at any given point in their life. What a person believes religion wise, can change over time because that is what it is meant to do. It is more about a personal growth and journey in that area. Things I believed when I was your age or even as a mom raising kids has changed a lot. God I beleive has no problem with a person choosing to believe at whatever place they can identify with best and where they will learn the most and actually grow spiritually.
There are plenty of people who don't feel like they have to join a religious group or identify with one specifically. People are unique and even while I was in church, there would always be a few things I did not agree with of that belief system. My father also was Jewish but a citizen of Germany during WW2. It was a dangerous time to be a Jew. So his family choose to not go to synagogue so as to not be so obvious, although he went a few times with his grandparents. In the school system there, part of education was the child being in some kind of religious class. If I remember correctly, they offered Lutheran and Catholicism. There wasn't any other choices. So he went to Lutheran class. My mom was German and Lutheran also. So when they met, it was easy to just go with Lutheran. Once us kids came along, they dropped out for a while and once we got to our teen years, attended again. However, once Mom and Dad split, he decided he wanted to rediscover his Jewish heritage and roots. It was a matter of pride to him. But he had also grown in his spiritual walk and no longer believed all that Judaism beleives but much of the Christian faith. So what he did was find a group he identified with that would also tie in with his roots.
He discovered Messianic Judaism. I will share a link to Wikipedia's description of that.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
There are churches or places of worship that fit this description. More likely to be found in larger cities than rural. I doubt it can be found in college groups though. So you may want to search for that.
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You are in the same predicament my son is. His mother is Catholic and I'm Jewish. He identifies as Jewish though by Jewish law he is not Jewish. TO be Jewish he would have to convert as by Jewish law he is the religion of his mother as are you.
It would appear your parents did as we did which was to raise him to understand and recognize both religions. When he was younger we would spend Christmas with my in-laws and they would take him to church. He enjoyed going to church with them and all the pageantry the church put on. Neither my wife or I are very religious so going to Temple was not something we did with him. We did instill in him what Judaism is all about.
We also instilled in him that there is a god and a love for country. That with these two basic beliefs for guidance he would do well. When he was old enough he could chose how and if he wished to worship.
My suggestion to you is that you continue to believe in god. You should continue to attend the functions of all and should be welcome in any religious function regardless of whether you identify with that religion or not. Part of being religious is about being welcoming. This is also how you can learn about the different religions and decide which of any you wish to join.
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