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o god.. wow.. please help. personal problem..
hi well this is about me & my boyfriend.. we both have trust issues..but weve been dating 7 months so we trust each other with everything..but im very paranoid bout him going thru my phone..bc, well my parents split up & now my mom & i are dirt poor, & i cant afford my phone. so, im REALLLY not proud of this, but i send this guy..pictures..& he pays my bills. so he text me last night saying "hey sunshine" & my bf saw it..& he kept asking who that text was from & i was drunk so i said idk then i deleted it. & then he saw i deleted it..& now he says he doesnt trust me anymore bc of me not telling him (he doesnt know about the pics..) & i feel so hurt bc he doesnt trust me anymore (but i would feel the same if the roles were reversed) but i dont have any money and i dont consider it cheating bc idk this person, theyre on another coast, & i have NO feelings for him. but it kills me inside whenever i do it & i want to regain my bfs trust but i just dont know what to do..about any of it..please help??
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
tell your bf the truth he'll probably uderstandand if he doesn't its not fair cus you need a way to pay your phone or you can just find a part time job and if he loves you and understands you he's worth your time
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well tell your bf the truth.
dont send this sick old man anymore pitures..!!
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the answer to this dilema is be smart. If this guy showed up at your doorstep right now would you feel safe? Probably not because he is a child molester. Come clean with your boyfriend and stop sending the nasty old man your pics. You might find them on a website.
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Hi there :)
I haven't been on this website in ages, but I saw your question when browsing through and thought my opinions might help out a little bit.
Step 1: Tell your boyfriend what is going on. It doesn't have to be asap, just when you figure out how you're going to tell him; do it. He should know of you expect his trust back. You can always say something along the lines of "I really like you, I'm not doing anything to hurt you or so I hope. Its just a tough time and tough times call for desperate measures." In that case, keeping it a secret won't get you his trust, but atleast it'll help.
Step 2: Stop with the pictures. I can see how this is helping and how its the easy way out- I totally understand. But this is never going to turn out well. These pictures could even be put on the internet or given out to other random strangers which is only going to lead to more troubles. I recommend you stop with the pictures, thank the man for his generosity, and asked the cell phone company to have his number blocked for privacy reasons.
Step 3: Try getting a job. I don't know what age you are, but if its at all possible go out and search for a job. Babysitting, the local pet store, book store, clothing store, restaurant. Once again, desperate times call for desperate measures. Any bit of money would help; especially with the cell phone bill or if you put it into a savings account.
Good luck sweetheart, let me know if you want any more help.<3
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Hi,
I mean this in the nicest possible way - get some self respect!!!! Your better that that I'm sure. And tell that dirty old perv to stop texting you and leave you alone.
I would tell your boyfriend the truth as he now no doubt thinks your actually cheeting. Be honest with him it's the only way to regain his trust.
Chandler XX
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I'm just going to tell it to you straight
I think you are being totally unfiar to your boyfriend for a start. You guys have trust issues and your not making it any easier. That is not very clever. You need to tell your boyfriend the truth. And if he can't accept that then you really should of thought about it.No matter how dirt poor your are. Money isnt everything and if you can't pay for your phone that's it. And don't you think your mum would find out sooner or later how you've been paying for your phone? Unless you've been lying to her too...You shouldn't lower yourself no matter how much you need money and besides, it's just a phone! It would be fairer to give the money to your mum or save it for emerganicies - not to pay for a phone! Come on girl you have respect dont you? Don't lower yourself to anyone ok? If you want your boyfriend you will tell him the truth - it's the only thing that willl even a little justify what you've been doing. And think of the man you've been sending the pictures too. Who is he? Is he married? A peodphile? A porn addict? He could be abusing your pictures in many ways and one could be putting them up on the interent! I think you need to stop what your doing and explain to your boyfriend before the guilt gets to you. Get some self respect and sense! I know you can do it
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well if i was dirt poor idk if i would go as far as showing some guy i dont even know naked pics of myself but if your bf really oves you if you tell him the truth, but just not the full truth, then maybe just maybe he would understand... you never know its worth a shot
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well i think you should just stop sending the pictures and find a job you might have to get rid of your phone for a while but atleast you would still have your boyfriend,respect, and dignity which to me means alot more then a phone.After a while you and your mom will get back on your feet and everything will be fine.as for getting your boyfriends trust back that will take time but you have to make him think there is no reasons not to trust you.
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The only way you are going to regain his trust is with time. Another thing that might help is stop sending him pictures, he may pay for the bill, and may be on the other coast but its never a good idea to send those type of pics.. especially with a boyfriend. If it kills you inside you should stop it your little voice is telling you its a bad idea. Hope this helps.
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Regardless of what your finacial situation is, your boyfriend deserves the truth. He says he doesn't trust you because he has a reason not to trust you, and you're the person who gave him that reason.
It doesn't matter if you don't consider it cheating, or which coast. It's obviously wrong, and your boyfriend would not approve, in the same way that you wouldn't approve of your boyfriend recieving naked pictures. The best thing you can do is stop trying to justify it and recognize it for what it is. Only then can you start to do something about it.
If you genuinely want to regain your boyfriend's trust, immediately stop sending any more pictures and come clean about the whole thing. Tell him the complete and absolute truth.
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If you and your boyfriend hae been dating for 7 months and you trust him, you should be comfortable enough to let him know that you are and your mom are not doing the best financially. He is not going to trust you until you tell him the truth about what happened. Unless he forgets about it, and if I were him i couldnt forget about something like that. If he gets angry at you, tell him you were desperate, but if he forgives you but asks you not to take more pictures, JUST DON"T. your cell isnt THAT important. My parents split up in January, my dad left us with a $20,000 visa to pay, the car and more. And he doesnt help us with a cent. I am now putting my studies behind because of how much things change financially. Sh!T happends and its unfortunate and it sucks but all you can do is make the best of it. Be thankful that you still have a roof over your head, internet and food on the table. just be considerate and don't keep things from the person you are with because all it will do is cause problems. Be truthful! Hope I helped. And Sorry if I didn't. I wish you all the best!!!
BeLLe!
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Think about it, is having a phone really important enough for you to degrade yourself like that? Honestly, you need to respect yourself and your body. You should cut all ties from this person paying your bills. Block his number, delete everything. You could fess up with your boyfriend, but he'll probably leave you. And personally, I don't blame him. If you can't be faithful, you don't deserve a boyfriend.
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I have to admit, what you're doing is street smart. Its not your fault some people are sexually deprived and desperate. But it'd be even better if you were somehow helping your mom by it. Does she ever wonder how you're paying your bill? I know it may be the complete opposite of what it is you wanna hear, but if you got a job, that would REALLY be some help to you and your mother, in more ways than one. I know that as soon as I turn 16,that's the first thing i'll be doing. I don't think you should tell your boyfriend. Its dishonest, and it IS cheating, at least to him, but it would change nothing. I think the best thing to do is completely cut off all ties with this pervert, after you get that job, which you should hunt for ASAP. I don't know if you like my two cents, and frankly, I don't care if you rate me a one, I just thinks its what's best for all 3 of you.<3
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First of all, you were in the wrong by sending pictures to this guy. He SAYS he lives on the other coast, but do you really know that for sure?
There are many people who try to hurt younger girls. If this guy has the right info, like your name, your school, your state, etc, he could come after you. Scary thought, right?
Second, you should not have lied to your boyfriend. If you really want trust in that relationship, you have to trust that your boyfriend will be understanding about your situation. "Trust takes time to earn, but only seconds to shatter." Be honest with your boyfriend, and trust that he will care for you enough to help you through your situation.
Take my advice: Don't EVER send pictures to ANYONE unless you know them personally, like you've seen them face to face, or someone you know personally knows them. How do you know this guy is even really paying your bill? Think about it.
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Well, I don't think you've came here to be judged. I think you know what you are doing is wrong. I think the reason why you are asking what you are asking is to find some peace about it.
You need to ask yourself, "Is what I am doing worth my self respect?" "Is it so important for me to have a cell phone that it's worth my dignity?"
I don't think of you as a bad person. Hell, we all make some choices in life that aren't so grand. I know, I've made some bad decisions in my life too. All we can do is learn from our bad choices we make and hope we don't repeat the same mistakes twice.
What concerns me the most is your safety and wellbeing. There are perverts out there who prey on innocent women your age. I suggest for your safety, ending all communications with this man and if you have to, let the cell phone service end. Everything else will work it's self out including your relationship with your boyfriend.
If it happens to end, let it end, because it wasn't meant to be in the first place. When you feel like you are ready to talk about it with him, talk about it. Don't make excuse for yourself, just own up to it and go from there. I wish you the best.
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1# what your doing will hurt you far worse than being dirt poor.there are choises you make that can damanange you, who your are, and the respect you have for yourself. what you are doing can and will damange you, and change the woman you were supposed to become.and for what? so that you can a cell phone!? and did you ever stop to consider, reguardless of where this pervert lives,it would be no proublem for him to find you.he now knows what you look like.it could be only a matter of time to find you.im shure youve already given him all the information he needs just by chatting.i know one thing for sure! your boyfriend is not your firest consern!! go to your mother right now! and sit down with her and be honest! she will forgive you i promise!!! but she would never forgive herself if anything happend to you! and it fery well might! tell your mom so she can involve the police, you could help save another teenagers life! this is a DANGEROUS GAME YOUR PLAYING!!! please go to your mom now!
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Ok first of all, you are old enough to get a job, so do that instead of doing what you are doing now to get the money. It's not safe, and what happens when this guy wants more than just pics. What happens when he wants sex from you? Because obviously he knows stuff about you if he pays your bills. So you have to just tell him your mom can pay now or something like that so he wont get mad. And just think about what you are doing. You can also try contacting your dad, if he is one of the nice parents, maybe he could help you out? I don't know if I made much of a difference but I hope everything goes well.
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So you're sending naughty pictures of yourself, underaged at that, to a guy who is not your boyfriend, and you don't think you're cheating? You're lying to your boyfriend about who is texting you stuff like "hey sunshine", and you're upset because he doesn't trust you anymore?
Look, I'm sorry about your current living situation. It really sucks. There are other options though. You're sixteen years old, you can get a part-time job. One that doesn't involve exposing yourself, possibly hurting yourself, and possibly getting someone sent to prison for a long long time. Even if you worked like fifteen to twenty hours a week, you could pay your cell phone, and even help out your mom with other things around. And if you're working maybe it'll ease your boyfriend's mind a bit. If you're not willing to do that, then maybe you should just do without a cell phone. You're only sixteen, they're not that imporant, and they're not worth violating yourself to random strangers. So please, stop doing that to yourself. You're too young to start whoring out your body.
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I think you are placing your self in a fragile and dangerous position sending a complete stranger photos of your self. From my perspective, your boyfriend is not the issue here, it is your safety. Please don't sell yourself short over a cell phone. If it is that much of a necessity for you to have a cell phone, I would suggest that you get a part time job. This human being who pays for your cell phone bill, regardless of where he might live, probably has access to your personal information and the ability to travel to your neck of the woods. I get the feeling that your secret with this stranger is isolating you from your loved ones, which can make it easier for this individual to make physical contact with you, possible hurt you and get away with it. Get rid of the phone, tell your parents what has been going on, (for your protection), get a part job and save towards a new phone.
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To be honest, I don't think what you're doing is that bad.
I mean it is, but hey, do what you gotta do.
However, if you arn't starving, have a roof over your head, and clothing, your good. Cell phones are pretty much a a materialistic item. You don't really need it. They still do have pay phones in many areas. I'm sure you have friends that have cell phones.
I think you need to tell your boyfriend whats up. I think you need to talk to him in person, and explain to him, what your doing. I don't think he'll be happy with it, honestly. But, if you don't tell him, hes gonna lose all of his trust from you, and thats not good.
I personally, think that you should stop sending this guy pictures, if your eating, have clothing, and shelter. Which, I have a feeling you do..if you have a computer & such. But, if you feel that your cell phone is something that you absolutely cannot live without, then.. hmm. its your decision. If it was me, and I wanted like money, because I was extremely poor and hardly ever getting food, and living in a box, I'd do it. But, I'm guessing, thats not how you live.
Its not good to have him pay your cell phone bill, because that probably means he knows your address, and everything. You should of had him send you cash to a PO box... but its too late for that now. How did you find this guy anyways?
I sincerly hope that everything works out for you, and you do whats best for you.
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Peeps gave a very good and thorough answer and you shouldn't rate it down just because it isn't what you wanted to hear.
You aren't coming on here to hear what you want, you're coming here for the advice of people who are wiser, smarter, and have more life experience than you.
Now to my answer... I do understand you situation, and it's a shame about the money, but it doesn't change the fact that it's wrong and illegal. However, it's not so bad what you were doing, rather the fact that you were hiding it from your boyfriend. You claim to care about him more than anything, that he is "the only thing keeping you from suicide", yet if you cared about him you wouldn't keep potentially harmful secrets from him. He clearly knows about your financial status, and I'm sure if you HAD told him, he would have understood.
Here's what I advise you to do NOW:
Tell him that you care about him more than anything, that you're so upset that you hurt him, and that you were ashamed of the situation so you didn't want to tell him. Now tell him that whatever the situation in the future, no matter how bad, you'll tell him because you know he'll be standing by your side.
Then you hope he trusts you again.
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Tell your boyfriend the truth.
He is your boyfriend for a reason, you should be able to trust each other and tell each other everything.
Tell him about everything.
It will all come out good in the end.
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tell him that you have no feelings for the other guy.
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There are so many things to be said with this question, I fear I won't touch all of them.
I'd like to also point out the prostitution aspect of all of this. Now, if we take the word "pornography" and we input that into an online dictionary, this is what we get:
"The explicit depiction of sexual subject matter, especially with the sole intention of sexually exciting the viewer."
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...and now we take that into consideration when entering the word "prostitution" into the same dictionary:
"Engaging in sexual activity with another person in exchange for compensation, such as money or other valuable goods."
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...we get a very surprising outcome. It seems to me that you are taking pornographic photos for this man that will cause him to feel sexual desires toward you in exchange for his financial ability to pay for your phone bill. This sounds much like a form of prostitution to me.
Taking sexual photos of yourself so a man can get his jollies and will pay your bills counts as sexual activity for me. It also sounds as if you may have talked suggestively to this man--which is way, way wrong and I'm sure you're well aware of it. It is not right to even allow a strange man to refer to you in such intimate terms (yes, "sunshine" is implying that you are closer than just friends).
You claim that you have no feelings for the man that is currently paying your phone bill.
Prostitutes rarely have feelings for their customers, who pay their bills as well.
You claim that he is on the other side of the country and this alone proves that nothing of the sort was going to go any further.
Prostitutes regularly service customers from other sides of large cities that they never travel to--not counting customers that come by when they are visiting the area.
Having feelings for the man or not, you should have feelings for your boyfriend. Your boyfriend has every right to be upset and you should definately understand his lack of trust in you now. It shouldn't have been any surprise to you that you were breaking trust when engaging in such activities with this bill-paying man.
Next, if you're so very ashamed at your current financial situation and you absolutely must have a cell-phone then why haven't you picked up a job? Even a part-time job should be able to pay for your cell phone bill and doesn't require you to degrade yourself.
Save your money. Cut down on regular purchases of make-up, clothes, and luxury foods. I'm also sure that if you and your boyfriend go on dates then there is money involved somewhere. Cut down on date expenses and save the money for the cell phone. If you talk with your partner about it, he may be willing to chip in and help (that is, if he actually keeps you around after this stunt you've pulled).
While looking for an actual job--do odd jobs around the neighborhood for some extra cash. Mow lawns, walk dogs, babysit, elderly-sit, or maybe even sell crafts. I'm sure if you have time to chat up a guy and send him photos of yourself so he pays your bills then you have some extra time left when you cut him out of your life.
Cut down on your cell-phone usage! Instead of chatting for an hour, cut things down to half-an-hour if possible. Let the person know that you are talking with that you're unable to stay long--it's understandable in these busy times. Don't make calls unless you absolutely need to. Maybe switch over to a cheaper plan if available. If at all possible, use a land-line when available.
In regards to what is considered cheating or not, you have not been a faithful partner to your boyfriend. You can completely demolished what trust your boyfriend had put into you. You have shared an intimate side of you to a strange man for money to pay a bill. In defining "cheating" this is what we get:
"An act of deception, fraud, trickery, imposture, or imposition."
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...and to "cheat" means...
"To violate rules in order to gain advantage from a situation."
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...in conclusion, you have cheated on your boyfriend very much. You have tricked him into believing you would remain faithful and that you would not allow just anyone access to your body (even just seeing it nude). You violated relationship rules on this to gain something--your cell-phone bill being paid. You posed as a good girlfriend who truly cared about her boyfriend his emotions when in reality you only truly cared about getting your own wants.
Come clean with your boyfriend. He deserves to know your dirty secret. Be honest and tell him the truth of the matter. Don't bother sparing any details either--he needs to know it all. You might as well tell him everything you can and hope that he can forgive you for this enormous betrayal. Communication is key in all relationships and you had clearly decided that your partner was not worth communicating with. You will be extremely lucky if he remains with you.
Believe it or not, you not only hurt yourself and your relationship but you've done a lot of damage to your boyfriend. He will now have to carry the burden of having an unfaithful partner. He may have his self-esteem damaged from your actions--that he was not good enough to come to when you were in need. You cannot do much more damage to the guy if you tried.
You really need to stop what you're doing and re-evaluate your situation. Ask yourself some important questions:
1. Would it really kill me to get a job?
2. Would it really hurt to go without cell-phone service for a little while (a month) while I found a job to support such habits?
3. Was trading my body and betraying my boyfriend for meaningless, material items worth it?
4. Am I so selfish of my own desires that I have no problem hurting the people who are dearest to me?
5. Does a cell-phone really mean more to me than others' emotions/feelings?
6. How can I turn my life around and make this situation into a learning experience?
Stop degrading yourself. You are worth more than this. Chances are, the man will end up posting your photos on the internet or showing his buddies that live by him. Internet photos alone can break a career in acting, modeling, government positions, etc. You have placed yourself into one of the lowest spots you could have and it's time to pull yourself back out. A few cell phone calls do not equal up to how much your body is worth.
Cut off contact with the man. Let him know that you do not want him to pay your bills any longer (you are completely able to do this yourself) and that that you find it unacceptable to continue communicating with him. You then need to block his address and forget about him while you work on your relationship with your boyfriend. If the man tries to pay the bill again, do NOT allow it! It is extremely wrong to accept the money--send it back to him if you have to, call your provider and tell them not to accept money from his account any longer, do whatever you have to do to take responsibility for your own material items.
I hope that you realize what you've done is very serious and you are able to overcome what has trailed along behind it.
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Wow sorry to say this but are you like constantly high?? This guy on "the other coast" could be a very very VERY bad person. He could live down your street!! Be a rapist a murder, and he has all of your cell phone info...Get A Job. It works better and its safer and you dont have to degrade yourself to get the money.
As for your boyfriend tell him about the situation. And tell him what you plan to do about it. Be open and honest with him. DONT LIE. Maybe if you just said the truth he would trust you.
-hayley
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First of all.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING.
Sorry to be so plain. but
A) like the person said before, this person has your cell phone number, he can track you down. plus you know nothing about this guy. He could be your dad but say he;s from the coast. you know how easy it is to lie to you on a computer. plus STOP SENNDING PICTURES! if you like sending pictures send themm to your boyfriend. you need help. change your number. delete this guy. this guy knows what your looking like so he could just as easily find you.
Im worried about you.
all the best!
~ Hope This Helps And If You Have And More Questions Just Ask:) ~
Mslovely22
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oooo nooo
stop sending pictures~!!!!!
he could track you down!!!
get a new cell number
and dont worry about your bf
he ullderstand.
and how can you affood a computer (sorry if thats a lil to personal)
(adding in from what you wrote in your feedback toawards me)
trust me this world is crrazzzyy i really feel he could track you down. no matter what you think or wat u looked into. a phone is a phone. technology is crazy. honestly if u tell you bf look, i haeve no money and i sent this guy anke dpictures to pay my cell phone. number 1 he will fell REALLLLYY bad baout being mad at u and he will like rect really weirdly.it is up to u if u are up for it. but ifi iwere u i would tell him. its either you tell him or loose him. and hell maybe even help you pay off your bill :)
get a job though? if your young then have like a cahsiere one or work at a local place.
goodlcuk!!
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this guy can that you are sending pictures to can get your address by knowing your cell number and he knows what you look like so you need to stop no matter how poor you are.
now your boufriend is right to be a little mad. this guy is trying to conversate with you meaning he want to get to know you in your boyfriend eyes. tell him why you are doing this. you need to have a talk with your bf and tell him what is going on. you should be of age where you can get a job hun.
you should not degrade your body its your temple.
hope i helped
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Whats more important paid bills or your boyfriend and dignity... I would never even consider doing that and not just im not that pretty.
Your gunna hear all the same answers
STOP SENDING PICTURES!
Which is as blunt as possible..
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Alright. This is just a question about priorities. But nobody on this website (or anywhere, for that matter) can decide your priorities for you. Because each person has their own.
So lets see the things going on in your situation. There is your boyfriend, who loves you but cant trust you because you are keeping secrets from him. lets make him A. Is it worth it to tell him, and save your relationship? Or is it more worth it to keep your secret (and your cell) but let your relationship suffter because of it?
Then, there is this man who you are sending pictures to. And you say you dont care about him at all. We can call him B. You have no reason to trust him (you actually have reason not to trust him, because he is doing somthing illegal) and yet, he has acess to all of your information since he is in control of your phone bill. If you were to get him angry, what would he do? What would he be capeable of doing? Could you handle that alone?
Then you have your mom. [C] . What would she think if she found out about this? And if you did tell her, would she help you out? What advice would she give you? Would she want you giving pictures to this man? Is it somthing she would do? Is it ruiningg your relationship, the fact that you need to hide the fact that you have a cell phone? Are you or your mom in danger since the man has your information? Just aspects to think about. Is it worth it to tell your mom, or not?
D is your cell phone. What is it worth giving up? Im addicted to my cell, so i understand. But is it worth all the trouble you are going through for it? Is it even worth getting a job to pay for? Or could you live without it? How important is it to you?
And finally, E. Thats your pride. How important is that to you? Important enough to have it stop you from telling your loved ones about the way you are getting money? But not important enough that it stops you from sending pictures of yourself to a strange man? What is your pride worth losing over? And what is it worth more then?
So youve got:
A: Boyfriend
B: Man
C: Mom
D: Cell
E: Pride
Now prioritise. In what order do you value these five things? Thats my advice to you. Figuire out your priorities, and act accordingly. If your cell phone is more important than anything, at all costs you should give up the others to get it. But if it isnt, you have some re-thinking to do.
Im always here. Inbox me if you need anything.
Allmylove <3
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I want you to do something for me. Take a look at this website and try using your phone number in some of the searches it mentions. [Link](Mouse over link to see full location). If you can find your own address, or one of the sites says it knows your address and requires you to pay to reveal it, this man can EASILY find you. If not, check out what the article says about private detectives. How easy is that? Phones can be tracked. They put out a signal and use towers to make their calls. If you watch crime shows, you would know that when someone makes a call with a cell phone, the call can be tracked almost to an exact location. Anyone can find out anything if they have enough resources and enough desire. Information is everywhere. If you'd done your own research you would know you are not safe just like the rest of us know it. If this man wants to find you he WILL. It's clear that everyone on this website is concerned with your safety. You came here looking for advice and when you are given it, you choose not to believe it. Get a grip and listen up to what so many people are saying. How can you disagree with us all? You need to start listening to some sense. How can you trust your own judgment after what you've already done? YOU ARE NOT SAFE and you need to do something to change that immediately. Bad things happen to people and you've put yourself in a really precarious situation.
You are really naive if you think he can't find you. Phones can be tracked.
You know what, unlike what another columnist suggested you do not need a cell phone. End of story. You can't tell me that you are that materialistic and so reliant on a luxury piece of technology. What would life be like if you didn't have a phone? Honestly, it would be fine. Now, yes, it's a great idea to find a way to make money to pay for your phone. That shows that you're responsible and hard working. However, are you serious? Is this really the only possible way you could think of to make money? Get a job! Mow people's lawns for crying out loud. I hope you realize how dangerous it is for you to be sending these pictures to this man. You must have given him some kind of information about yourself in order for him to get the money to you. BAD MOVE. If he doesn't already know, he could easily figure out where you live. You are in this too deep now to just quit what you are doing. You need to confide in an adult. If not your mom, a counselor at your school. You need to make sure that you are going to be safe if you all of a sudden just tell this guy that he's not going to get any more pictures. Which you need to do. I'm not even advising you on this one, I'm telling you. I'm being completely honest here, I don't think that you are safe. If he has your phone number he can find you. That is why it is especially important to let an adult know and let them help you with this. Now, about the boyfriend, if you stay with him you will have to tell him eventually. I agree with you in that I don't consider it cheating. It's still pretty bad though and something he should know about just the same if you end up marrying him and stuff. That's pretty far down the road and lets be honest here, anything could happen between now and then so don't bring this up just yet. He may not be mature enough to understand yet. If you're still together in your early to middle twenties, that would be the time to let him know. The text, why not just tell him it was a wrong number? That's pretty understandable. It happens all the time to me, that's for sure. Overall, you have some crucial decisions to make here. You can either continue living a life of prostitution and lies, or you can get off your butt, go out and earn your money how everybody else earns it. If you don't pick the second choice, sorry, but you are going to be poor for the rest of your life and you're going to look back to this moment and wish you had made the right decision. Please get help. You may think that nothing bad could happen to you, but you are wrong. Don't put it off either. End this today.
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It looks like you have three separate problems here. So let's talk about each one:
1) Sending the pictures. Well, I probably don't have to tell you all the reasons you shouldn't do this. But I will anyway (haha). First of all, it IS a form of prostitution. You know it's wrong, and you feel crappy about yourself for doing it. But besides that, it could get you into trouble. What if this guy becomes obsessed with you, and decides that pictures aren't enough? He's paying for your cell phone; he might start to feel like you owe him more than just pictures. And if he doesn't already know where you live, he could easily find out. Or, what if he shares these pictures with his buddies, and they somehow get posted somewhere... and your boyfriend/parents/entire school sees them? Besides being totally humiliated (and losing everyone's trust, and getting a terrible reputation), you could get into big trouble with the law. There's been stuff all over the news lately about teens being arrested for distributing child pornography. And it's just going to get worse as law enforcement enlists the help of the phone companies to crack down on this.
You need to stop. Tell this guy that you appreciate his "generosity", but that you're sorry, you're going to have to end this arrangement.
2) Your cell phone. Yeah, you need one. But there's gotta be another way to pay for it. You could get a job; beg your dad, your grandparents, or another relative; ask your boyfriend for help; do odd jobs for your neighbors; talk to a school councelor and ask for suggestions. Talk to your phone company and find a cheaper plan. You might have to give up unlimited texting or something, but at least you'll have a phone for basic use and emergencies. There are people a lot worse off than you who find ways to pay for what they need. If they can do it, so can you.
3) Your boyfriend. Well, I normally recommend telling the truth about everything. But if there's a chance that the "hey sweetheart" thing will blow over (without you having to tell any additional lies), it might be worth just waiting it out. However, if he continues to be convinced that something's going on, you should probably just come clean to him. Break down and cry (you probably wont have to try real hard) and explain the situation. Tell him the only reason you did it is because you really need your phone, to talk to HIM. Tell him how rotten you've felt. And let him know that you've stopped doing it, and won't ever do it again because it made you feel so bad. Yeah, he'll probably be pretty pissed, but hopefully he'll take pity on you and try to understand. Just expect that it could take some time for him to deal with it.
I hope it works out for you. But please, stop sending the pictures.
Edit: Congrats on the job! Good luck! =]
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i think the longer you do this, the guilt will just pile on even more and add more stress to the relationship. it doesnt take much to break trust, but it takes a lottt to gain it. i would come clean to him, assure him it was only through phone, no physical contact. understand that he will be angry/hurt.
it will take time, but hopefully trust can be regained. the worst is if he wants revenge or thinks he can do something and use it as an excuse because of this situation.
so, my solution forr your trouble paying the bills is this..are you old enough to get a part time job?
if not maybe just babysitting,house cleaning,etc.
dont continue sending these pictures, its not worth ruining your relationship over.
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then choose,,, your phone bills payed ..or your boyfriends, accept it its not like your going to get away with everything, STOP sending the pictures imagine if it was your boyfriend who sent someone pictures for someonne paying his bills :S ..eventhough you dont care about this person your sending them to, stop making this to your boyfriend, if you dont want to explain then dont but stop this , and just tell him you didn't knew the person who sent it or it was a friend or anythign but dont be in contact with the person who pays again, cause this situation might hurt your boyfriend and he might be feeling really bad about this trust issue cause now he is going to start doubting about you and this is worst than just not paying your phone bills dont you think?
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isn't that considered prostitution?
naked pictures for money.
which is more important, being a whore with a phone or being with your boyfriend?
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