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Well, I know that rebounding is no good, but I made the mistake of rushing into something :/. Yesterday I found out my ex boyfriend was out with this girl that he used to like (and who i know he likes now) and just hearing this made me break down. I knew I had to talk to someone, so I ended up talking to this guy who I have always had a thing for. On the phone I told him what I found out and how I felt sad and he kind of cheered me up. Then out of nowhere I told him that even though I'm not over my ex, I kind of like him! Ahh so today at school I was hanging out with my ex and my friend. My friend has a class with the guy I like so I asked her if he said anything...but my ex was confused and when I told him he seemed to change his mood. :/ I didn't think I was hurting his feelings because he flat out told me to move on because he doesn't see me as anything but a friend. My question is, was it a bad idea to tell him? Should I never bring up guys in front of him??

P.S. The guy who I like told me that he likes someone at the moment, so it didn't work out.

Thanks!

No, I don't think it's a bad idea to tell your ex that you like someone else. As long as you're not obviously doing it just to make him jealous (which he would probably see right through). But casually mentioning it, or letting him overhear you talk about it with a friend, is fine. Especially since he told you to move on, and since he's seeing someone else.

Will it make him feel bad or jealous? Well, possibly a little. But he'll have to deal with that. Sometimes, even if you don't want to be with your ex anymore, you still feel weird seeing them with someone else. It's like, "I don't want her, but I don't want anyone else to have her, either." Which is silly, but that's sometimes how people feel about their exes. That may be what yours is feeling. But hey, he let you go, so he has to deal with any feelings that causes him. Just don't blatantly rub it in his face.

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My bestfriend is always trying to get me and my boyfriend to double with her and hers. The problem is that her boyfriend really likes mine but my boyfriend finds hers a tad annoying and doesnt really want to hang out with him. He likes my bestfriend just not her boyfriend. So I'm not sure what to do because she keeps asking us to do stuff and sometimes we go but its ALOT more often that we dont. And I know my boyfriend has a horrible time when we go because her boyfriend will try to pull him away and things like that. And I can't tell my bestfriend this because it'll upset her

You're right... you definitely shouldn't tell your bestfriend. That would hurt her unnecessarily. Talk to your boyfriend. Tell him that you understand that he has a rotten time with this guy, and that you hate to ask him to do something that he doesn't enjoy... but that your friendship with your bestfriend is very important to you, and if you keep avoiding these double dates, it will cause hard feelings between you and your friend.

Ask him if he wouldn't mind hanging out with them just once in a while. If you do it just every so often, it won't seem like you're completely avoiding them. Just a small sacrifice on your boyfriend's part to help you maintain an important friendship. In return, you can offer to do something of his choosing, that you normally don't like doing.

Hope it works out! =)

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So I just moved this year to a new HIGH SCHOOL (I'm a soph), and I absolutely HATE IT. I have like some people to talk to in classes but nobody who goes out of their way to be like really good friends. I have a lunch table to sit at but its not any better than sitting alone honestly because the people are in tiny cliques at the table and ignore me.. :( I spend majority of my lunch time in the library...it's really sad....i've never ever ever had to do that before. I've moved a lot too! (Never in high school tho). And so anyways, you get the basic point. I have no friends to talk to after/before school. Or friends to hang out with in this town (except ONE friend who goes to A CATHOLIC SCHOOL and Ive known her for awhilee but she's busy most of the time). So anyways, the question. I was thinking about going to her Catholic school. I mean at least I would have her right? If not anyone else?? Problem is, it's 6000 somethinn a yearr. My family would have to find the money from god knows where to keep me in there. I'm getting a job (Planning on it so i may be able to help...a little) but its still a lot of money! I'm not catholic but i'm christian...so i'm not going for the religion but my parents were talking about putting me in a christian school but its like 4000 DOLLARS MORE EXPENSIVE! And i'm like nooo, thats stupid!! I'd rather just go to my friends school! It has more electives (Like fashion, which the other school doesnt have and I really wanna take it). And it has my friend....and i'm not saying she's going to be the only friend I have in the school because I plan on making friends through her or on my own..but like in the end i can hang out with her in the mornings or afternoons....compared to this school right now where i just go to school and get out as soon as possible to get a ride with my mom....its really sad... :\ So i'm unsure of what to do. I just donnoo if i can stay in this stpuid school :[ even if I had the money to do extra curriculars :[ ughhhh. please helppppppp :( thats my parents argument. Like if I stayed in the public school i have money for extra curriculars...such as voice lessons, acting classes, etc. but ughh idkkk :( please help!!

Wow, I know how you feel! I moved a lot, too - and I also went to a new school my sophomore year. To make things worse, I was super shy, so it took me forever to start making friends at school. The one thing that saved me was that I was a gymnast. As soon as we moved to a new town, I'd find a gym and join the team. That's where I usually found most of my closest friend.

Maybe the extra curriculars will help. If you haven't already started, go ahead and start your acting classes or voice lessons. That's the best way to meet people who have similar interests. It could also help to become involved in some school activities. Instead of coming straight home, join some clubs that meet after school. Even if it's something you've never done before, or something that sounds kind of boring, why not give it a try? It can't be any worse than sitting at home alone, and you might end up enjoying it. And who knows... it may be the place where you meet your future best friend.

It's only October right now - the majority of the school year is still ahead of you, and things will most likely get better. But if you're still hating it by the end of the year, maybe your parents will be open to the Catholic School, after seeing that you've given the public school a chance. Catholic schools usually have really good reputations, so they attract a lot of non-Catholic students. But don't base your decision just on the fact that your friend goes there. Visit both schools - the Catholic and the Christian one - with an open mind.

But I'm betting it won't get to that point. In all likelihood, you're going to find at least a couple friends you really like at your current school, and then you won't want to leave! And then you can keep up your extra curriculars, and all will be great!

Good luck!

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14/f ok i have a question about homecoming...well i was going with a guy as a friend but he brought me a corsage and he bought my ticket for me and i was wondering if this means anything but i dont like him i like another guy so im really confused....

I wouldn't worry about it. It's normal for a guy to buy his date's ticket and a corsage - even if they're just going as friends. Of course, it's possibilty that he could have feelings for you... but I wouldn't take the ticket and corsage as a sure sign of that. If he DOES like you as more than friends, he'll probably give you other signs.

Now, just a quick word about going to dances with a friend. My friend just went to homecoming with a guy - as friends. It started out great - he picked her up, gave her a corsage, and they went out to dinner with a bunch of people. But once they got to the dance, he totally ditched her. He danced with this other girl all night, and before the dance was over, he's asked that girl out. My friend felt horrible! It's not that she liked him, but it was insulting and embarrassing to be ignored by the guy who brought you - even if he's just a friend.

Soooo... even if you feel free to talk and dance with other people, be sure to remember that you're there with your friend, and give him a fair share of your attention. =)

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how do I tell a girl I like her even though she has a boyfriend?

Well, let's imagine that you and this girl are going out, and you're so happy. And then another guy starts talking to her, or flirting with her, and tells her that he likes her. How would you feel about that? Probably not very good. You'd think he was a big jerk - and you might even feel like pounding his face in. Because what he did just isn't right.

If it's wrong for someone else to do, then you shouldn't do it, either. As long as she has a boyfriend, you shouldn't say anything.

That doesn't mean you can't talk to her. Go ahead and develop your friendship. Let her get to know you and see what a great guy you are. At some point, they're going to break up - and then she's fair game. But until then, you should keep your feelings to yourself. It's the classy thing to do.

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how do i see who has viewed my myspace profile

Chokebacktears is right... there's no way to find out who has visited your myspace. They make it that way on purpose, because they want people to feel comfortable browsing their friends' pages anonymously. (Would YOU want your crush or your ex to know you'd stopped by their myspace 37 times yesterday? Haha - probably not!).

All you can do is get a good guess. If you're online and notice that your visitor count has just gone up, you can look to see which of your friends is currently online, and that can narrow it down some. But I don't think they'll ever make it possible to see exactly who has visited your myspace.

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Hey, I've been a bit overwhelmed with my school schedule and work. I'm sleeping an average of 3-4 hours a night. Which really isn't that bad, but it adds up, ya know?

I was thinking about investing in cocaine. I was just wondering how you go about purchasing it. How much would it cost? Is it really addictive?

I don't want to use it all the time. I just want to take some every now and then to give me an extra boost. What would you suggest? If cocaine is no good, what are some other ways to give me energy in these sleepless days?

Cocaine isn't something you can do just once in a while. It's one of the most addicting drugs there is; even doing it just once will get you hooked on it. It will take over your life... all you'll care about is getting more, or finding the money to get more (and yes, it's very expensive). Trust me, I've seen some of my friends completely ruin their lives because of it. And they weren't "druggies" - they were just regular people who wanted to give it a try, and it wound up totally messing up everything for them. The other people have given you some good suggestions for keeping awake, but I just wanted to say - please stay away from cocaine! It's really bad!

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how I can get my boyfriend back when he only give excuses about seen each other again

If he's making excuses about why he can't see you, it's because he doesn't want to see you. If he really wanted to be with you, he'd do whatever it takes to be with you.

There may be some "tricks" you could use to make him go out with you again, but honestly, do you really want a boyfriend who isn't sure he likes you? Of course you don't. You want someone who is so totally crazy about you that he'll do anything to be with you. Unfortunately, as much as you like this guy, he doesn't seem to be the one.

You need to put him behind you and move on. Stop dwelling on him and put him out of your mind. Focus on the important things in your life - friends, family, school, sports, or whatever your interests are. Think about all the great things you have going for you, and you'll realize you don't need this guy after all. If you have that attitude - if you're confident and sure of yourself and value yourself for all the great things you are - that's going to make you a much more attractive person... and then you'll be able to choose whichever guy you want. And it will be a guy who truly deserves you. And who knows, maybe your ex-boyfriend will realize what he's missing and want you back? And then YOU can decide whether you want him or not!

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what should i get my mom for her 50th birthday? something meaningful. not like flowers or lotion.

We threw a surprise party for my mom's 50th birthday, and invited not only her current friends, but also some really old friends and relatives who she hadn't seen in ages. To decorate the room, we made several large posters with pictures of her from various stages of her life - one was a poster of baby/child pictures, one was pics from high school & college, etc. My mom loved them, and people were gathered around those posters all night. I think the party meant a lot more to her than anything we could've bought for her.

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For people who have it or have had it, how much does that cost? I'm planning on telling my mom to take me to the closest invisalign office, but it doesn't say the price on the website. Does anyone have a clue?

I haven't had invisalign but I've looked into it, and the price I was given was more expensive than regular braces. But it probably depends on how long you'll need to wear them. If you only need a little correction, it might be cheaper. Just make an appointment with the orthodontist and then you'll know for sure!

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i was wondering if its a good idea to wax my "mustache" off. i did buy bleach, but can't you still see the hair, even if it's lighter?
im 16/f by the way.
i was wondering how long it will last, like when will the hair start to grow back? and also, when it grows back, is it way darker and much more noticeable? i just dont want to constantly have to worry about it.

thanks in advance :)

If the hair on your lip is very fine, then bleaching might be enough. But if the hair is thick or course enough to be noticable even when bleached, then waxing is your best bet.

How long will it last? That depends on how fast your hair grows, but most people go about 2 weeks between waxing. Waxing will not make the hair grow back thicker or darker; in fact, the opposite is true. Waxing pulls the hair out by the root; after being pulled out over and over, some of the hair folicles become damaged and never grow back... meaning your "mustache" will eventually become thinner.

Whatever you do, don't shave it! That will definitely make the hair grow back thicker and darker, and you'll have a noticable stubble.

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16 f

How do you know when a guy is trying to get inside your pants? Like what are the signs that lead to this conclusion?

Well, the truth is, every guy *wants* to get in your pants. And most guys will try. Some will try more aggressively than others, while some guys will back off if they meet with resistance... either because they don't think they have a chance, or because they really like and respect you. But either way, all guys are thinking that they'd like to get in your pants, and will do it if given the chance.

So the question you should really be asking is, How do you know when a guy ONLY wants to get in your pants? Well, it's not too hard to figure out. He'll pressure you to do more than what you want to do; he'll imply that he will dump you if you won't do it; whenever you're together, all he'll want to do is mess around, and if you don't want to, he'll get upset or stop giving you any attention.

A guy who really likes and cares about you for YOU will respect your limits. He'll stick with you no matter what. And yes, he may try from time to time to take things a little further (that's only natural), but if you say no, he'll accept that and won't pressure you.

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Okay i feel weird asking this but none of my friends can help so heres the sitch....
I am almost 16 * 2 months and six days* My real dad left when i was 3 and i havent had contact with him or his family since, now affter 13 years his mom * my grandma i guess* finds me on myspace and wants to be my friend and wants me to call her and stuff. I kinda want to but i dont know if i should since they didnt want to be part of my life for so long. SO yeah what would you do if you were me???

Heck yeah, I'd talk to her! What have you got to lose? She obvioulsy cares about you, since she made the effort to track you down. Okay, so it took 13 years, but so what? What's done is done. You can't change the past... but you can control your future, and having her in it might be a nice thing. Who knows, you could end up becoming very close. At the very least, you'll have some connection to a part of your life that you've probably always wondered about.

I know that part of you might feel like "punishing" her for all the time that she wasn't a part of your life. But would that really accomplish anything, or enrich your life in any way? Probably not. There's nothing to be gained by holding a grudge, but there could be a lot to gain by opening up to her efforts to start a relationship.

I definitely think you should talk to her! Just take it one day at a time and see how things go. Whatever happens, I really doubt you'll regret talking to her. But you almost certainly WILL regret it, at some point, if you don't. She won't be around forever, and once she's gone, you might really wish you'd taken the chance to get to know her.

Good luck!

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as you all know, school is coming to an end in one month and i really want to get some guy's number before school ends. There are 3 guys that i currently have a crush on and i was wondering if you could gimme advice on how to get a guy in less than a month. it doesn't even have to be a dating relationship, a friendship would be great too. help please

Yearbooks are great for that kind of thing. Leave your phone number in their yearbook, and ask them to jot down their number in yours, too!

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well me and my x-boo are still very good freinds but hes dating my friend and today in school his gf wasn't there so me and him kinda started holing hands and he was putting his ahnd on my leg and stuff like that, but shes moving at the end of the year and he wants to be with me know but he wants to be with her too, and i don't know what to do about it, do you think that you could help me out?
f/15/fl
samantha

Moving is always pretty traumatic, especially if you're leaving a boyfriend and friends behind. Imagine how much worse she'd feel is she found out her boyfriend was already messing around with someone else? I know you like him, but you should wait it out. She'll be gone soon enough, and then you'll have him all to yourself.

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so my bff has liked this guy for ages, but he's just a friend. i'm the only person that knows and she's sworn me to secrecy. but i just found out through another friend that he has a thing for me. now i dont like him like that and even if i did, i wouldn't pursue it out of respect for my bff. but what i want to know is how do i tell her? do i tell her?
i dont want her to hate me cause i usually get the guys not her. help!

If you don't like him, and nothing is gonna happen between you and him, then there's no reason to tell your bff about it. It would just upset her for no good reason.

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13/F so my freind for a long time likes me and i dont like. like that and i kinda like. but im still young im 13 and i dont kno how to date yet and i dont kno wut to do

Let him know that you really like him as a friend, but that you don't want to have a boyfriend right now. But that you want to continue being friends with him.

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My mother has 2 more kids. My older brother and younger sister. I always felt since we were little that she favored my brother and sister over me. For example, she would treat them nicer and buy them more things. She is my biological mother. She was never really supportive of me only when it would benefit her as far as make her have a good reputation or if it would benefit her financially. So I started working when I was twelve years old. I was always the most independent of my mom's 3 kids because I had no choice-she thought I was a joke. My stepfather who caused her to go from houses, cars, credit cars, and steady well-paying job to apartments, debt, catching the bus,and working at Wal-Mart, is the reason for her failures in which she insist. Everyone warned her to get out of her situation; still she stayed. In spring of January 2001, I filed my first tax returns. My mom's patient died and she chose to remain out of work due to my uncle bribing her to let his daughter live with us because he was getting a settlement from a lawsuit and he was supposed to pay her some money. My uncle never gave her a dime. When he got the settlement, he was no where to be found. When I received my tax returns, my mother implied that I shoud take my money and pay the rent which was 2 months behind and I had my car to pay for and take out of the shop in order to get to work. So when we all got evicted another two months later and I winded up moving in with my aunt, She was still allowing her husband to take her car and never return for days. She was living in a hotel room. Sometimes I helped and gave her a ride to work. But I used to work over night. The job I had wasn't even helping to get new place because of the constant car problems and payment. It was mothers day and Me and my older cousin went to my grandmothers house where my mom was. I gave the both of them beautiful mother's day cards. My mom was disappointed because there was no money in the card. My mom gave me a ride home. And my work clothes that was in the back seat, I was going to take home to wash. But my mom insisted that she would wash them. But my aunt had a washing machine and dryer in her house. I thought my mom was acting wierd. But I let her wash them. When she finally gave them back to me washed 3 days later. I put them on and went to work. I lost my job-as in fired. I lost a lot of jobs since then. Even now whenever she doesn't get her share of my large amounts of money from me- I lose jobs or cars or something. I gained a lot of weight that has been on for five years and whenever she sees that I lost weight she tries to make me eat. She will even ask me over the phone if I lost any weight. When I lived with her temporarily she wanted me to get a job instead of finishing school. But not to work for long. Now that I am a mother of a 19 month old baby boy,she mentioned that she doesn't want me to get a job but to go to school. I am in a HUD program which provides subsidised housing. and I just moved to a new apartment in September 2007. I told my mother not to give my son's father my phone number and she did it anyway and told me. My son's father called me and I winded up moving him in with the fact that he proposed marriage and to raise our son and his older son together. But all he did was treat me like crap and disrespect me, I had to call the cops on him numerous times, Child protective services is involved because I had to file a restraint order against him and the stupid judge listened to all his lies and lifted the order. He went around the complex and told everyone(women) that I was a whore. If any police comes back there or any restraint order is filed again I will lose my son and my apartment and HUD assistance. I notice when she calls my house or I call her and there is no fighting or little fighting between me and my son's father, as early as the next day before we get out of bed my son's father starts barking at me. My phone is disconnected now until Thursday and I will be changing my phone number. I don't know what to do. I want my son's father out of my apartment and he can take his older son with him. I just want some peace. I am at the point where I don't give a hoot about my mom or what the issues are in my apartment. I just want to take my son and move somewhere and move on with my life the way that God meant it. I don't care. I have things to do and accomplish and places to go. My son is my obligation and whoever do not fit in what it is that I'm about to do, they will be left behind, cut off, and rejected. Now the bible says "Thou shall honor thy mother and father" should I cut my mother off. Because 5 years of my life has gone down the drain. But she did whatever she wanted to do with hers. I don't know what went wrong or what is going on. But I now believe in that old saying about "the company that you keep". For the sake of my son and my future, should I cut my mother off?

Well, first let me say that some of the feelings you have are very common for a middle child. Middle children often feel they that aren't treated fairly, that their parents don't care about them as much, or that they don't get as much attention as their older and younger siblings. Of course, most parents love all their children equally. But if you look at the structure of the family, it's easy to see how a middle child could feel that way.

First-born children always get a ton of attention; they're the first ones to do everything, and parents make a huge deal over every accomplishment. It's all new and wonderful to the parents, who think their first baby is the most brilliant child ever born! Parents tend to have high expectations for their oldest child, and are usually very involved in everything they do.

Then there's the youngest child, who automatically gets attention just for being the youngest. No matter how old they get, they're always the baby of the family. They need to be "taken care of", so parents tend to do a lot for them. They aren't given as many responsibilities as the older siblings, yet they're often allowed to do things earlier than the older kids got to. And they tend to get away with murder, which seems unfair to the other kids.

So where does that leave the middle child? It's no wonder that middle children can feel a bit neglected. They don't get that automatic attention that the oldest and youngest kids get. So they have to work hard to get their parents' attention. They're often very driven, and try hard to be successful at whatever they do, in order to please their parents. And since they don't have their parents hovering over them the way the oldest and youngest do, they usually become very independant, responsible and self-reliant. So actually, being a middle child has some advantages, even though it might not seem that way.

My point is, I'm sure your mother loves you just as much as she loves your brother and sister. It's just the structure of your family that makes it seem like she favors them.

But anyway... I think you might be better off moving away from your mom, and starting a new life for yourself and your son. The amount of tension in this situation is keeping you from becoming an independent person. Everyone has to break away from their parents at some point... that's the way it's supposed to be. But moving away doesn't mean that you don't love or honor your mother. You can still love and respect her, and be an independent, self-reliant person at the same time. It might be difficult at first. And your mother may be a little hurt or even angry at first. But I bet in the long run, it will actually improve your relationship with her.

Good luck! =]

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Well, i went out w/ this guy for 2.5 months, and then i broke up w. him, cause he said to another girl i'll break up w/ her if you'll go out w/ me, and then i broke up w/ him and then he said that that was a stupis reason to break up w/ him, and then he started going out w/ another girl (who's one of my best friends) not even to days after we broke up. And now i lke another guy. And i think that my ex is mad at me, so would you be mad and do you have any good advice about how to ask out a guy?

You did the right thing by breaking up with him. He basically asked another girl out while he was still going out with you. And in a way, that's like cheating. (What he should've done is break up with you first, and then talk to the other girl about going out). So no, your reason was not stupid at all. It was completely justified.

So anyway... now you like someone else. And your ex has a new girlfriend. So does it really matter if he's mad at you? He has no reason to be! Your relationship is over - because of him - and you're both moving on. So don't let him get into your head and control your emotions. Focus on the future and this new guy you like. At some point, you might be able to be friends with your ex again, but that will probably take some time. In the meantime, put him behind you and look toward what's ahead of you.

As for asking a guy out... I'm sorry I don't have any good advice on that, because I'm kinda old fashioned that way. I think guys generally prefer to do the asking out, and in my experience, it usually works out better if you let them. But not everyone agrees with me, and I know lots of girls ask guys out and it works out fine. I just don't have much good experience with it, so I'll let someone else answer that part of your question.

Good luck! =]

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Whenever a guy calls me pretty, or hot, or even cute I feel really insecure about myself. It annoys me more than anything and I would just rather them notice that I'm funny, or that I'm nice or something. Almost like..I have nothing else thats attractive to you? Anyone else get what I'm talking about? I'm 16 and I've asked my friends and they say NO THAT'S A COMPLIMENT! HE THINKS YOU'RE CUTE!
I'd rather they just not say anything. I feel insecure being around guys that tell me I'm good looking because I feel like if I'm not looking so great at that moment, I have nothing to offer. Do all guys think that girls want to hear "You're hot" because quite frankly, I get distant from guys who say things like that to me.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Well, think of it this way. Say you're shopping for a new car. And you find one that has great gas mileage, top ratings for safety and reliability, a comfortable interior, and fully loaded with all the features you want. And it also happens to be a gorgeous color and really sharp looking. Bonus!

So you take it out, and your friends say, "Wow, your car is so pretty!" Would you be offended, or think they're shallow, because they only mentioned its looks and not its great gas mileage? Of course not! Because you know that the appearance of the car is just the first thing people notice. Surely they know there's other, more important aspects to a car... but unless you tell them about those features, they might not fully appreciate it. They'll only see the outer shell.

It's the same thing with you. Everyone knows that there's a lot more to you than just your looks. But that's what they notice first... and if they admire it, it's only natural to comment on it. Of course they know there are a lot of other qualities that make you who you are. But if you don't let them see what's inside, then how will they know what's there? If you shut yourself off to them just because they say you're pretty, they'll never have the chance to appreciate all your other wonderful qualities. All they'll be able to say is, "Yeah, she's a pretty girl."

So don't blame these guys for saying you're pretty. You are! But you're other things, too. Just think of your beauty, and the interest it sparks, as an opening to show others what else you've got. They'll still think you're pretty, but they'll appreciate the rest of you, too.

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