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I don't know why I feel this way
Whenever a guy calls me pretty, or hot, or even cute I feel really insecure about myself. It annoys me more than anything and I would just rather them notice that I'm funny, or that I'm nice or something. Almost like..I have nothing else thats attractive to you? Anyone else get what I'm talking about? I'm 16 and I've asked my friends and they say NO THAT'S A COMPLIMENT! HE THINKS YOU'RE CUTE!
I'd rather they just not say anything. I feel insecure being around guys that tell me I'm good looking because I feel like if I'm not looking so great at that moment, I have nothing to offer. Do all guys think that girls want to hear "You're hot" because quite frankly, I get distant from guys who say things like that to me.
Thanks for letting me vent.
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Wow I know exactly how you feel. The thing is that I'm friends with mostly guys. And I feel the same way, whenever they don't happen to say something, I automatically assume I look bad and that I have nothing else to offer. But it's not true. I've had talks with my friends about this because it bothered me. What they said, and I believe it to be true, is that they wouldn't say it if they weren't attracted to a girl's personality as well. Beauty comes from personality, it really does. They wouldn't bother telling you you're good looking or hot or pretty if you were a nasty person, because they wouldn't want to waste their time. "You're hot" is just something they think to say, they don't mean to offend you. So just try to take it in stride and know that you have more than just looks. Even from what you just said in your question/explanation, you seem like a very admirable person.
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Well, think of it this way. Say you're shopping for a new car. And you find one that has great gas mileage, top ratings for safety and reliability, a comfortable interior, and fully loaded with all the features you want. And it also happens to be a gorgeous color and really sharp looking. Bonus!
So you take it out, and your friends say, "Wow, your car is so pretty!" Would you be offended, or think they're shallow, because they only mentioned its looks and not its great gas mileage? Of course not! Because you know that the appearance of the car is just the first thing people notice. Surely they know there's other, more important aspects to a car... but unless you tell them about those features, they might not fully appreciate it. They'll only see the outer shell.
It's the same thing with you. Everyone knows that there's a lot more to you than just your looks. But that's what they notice first... and if they admire it, it's only natural to comment on it. Of course they know there are a lot of other qualities that make you who you are. But if you don't let them see what's inside, then how will they know what's there? If you shut yourself off to them just because they say you're pretty, they'll never have the chance to appreciate all your other wonderful qualities. All they'll be able to say is, "Yeah, she's a pretty girl."
So don't blame these guys for saying you're pretty. You are! But you're other things, too. Just think of your beauty, and the interest it sparks, as an opening to show others what else you've got. They'll still think you're pretty, but they'll appreciate the rest of you, too.
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Sounds like you are doing the right thing. Guy's hitting on you makes them feel tough. Every guy wanting to score the big prize. I would offer a suggestion. Look at how you dress. Be careful. I'm not saying how you dress is bad. But what if the guys think that you are giving them a clue you want to be noticed. Some females wear a B.O.A.S.M. shirt. (Bend over and show me!) cleavage is a turn on for guys. we are wired that way. Instead give this message "nothing to look at here!" Let every body wonder what you "really" look like. Once the clunkers stop noticing you the one you would really like to meet will get his chance.
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Guys are so differnt and think totally opposite from we do. Yes , thats a good compliment from a guy but ill tell you , if they say your pretty ect. Then oviously to them YOU ARE because trust me , guys will not tell you that you look good unless you do. Sometimes you have to tel guys what you think or want because they cant read signals to well
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