about

"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love" - Albus Dumbledore

Hi, I'm Laura. I'm a senior in college & I'm slowly deciding what I want to do with my life. I love Harry Potter, coffee, writing, and sleeping (amongst other things). I'll never claim to know everything, but I'm confident in my ability to help people with their problems. Feel free to send me an inbox question; I'll get back to you!




A few thoughts I've gathered from my teenage years (and being on this site for most of them!):
1. If you Google song lyrics, the song will come up 99% of the time.
2. Dress to fit your body type, and buy the size that fits. If you're a size 6, squeezing into a 4 won't make you look skinnier. It makes you look fat when you aren't.
3. You will never regret waiting to lose your virginity.
4. There is such a thing as a stupid question, but we're all allowed to ask them.




BU 2014 :)


wicked awesome conversations

^my forum, liven it up a little?

advice

ok, i/m turning 14 in like a few weeks.. and my mom wont let me go out w/ this guy i like alot... i liked him 4 like 4 months n now he stared to like ask me to go to the mall n stuff.... n then when i asked my mom she said yes.. and then me and my best friend n i got in a fight... n when me n my bff went to the mall w. a bunch of pple.. shes like.. u'r gunna get raped.. n i didnt get touched!!(only followed) but then shes like.. i would rather you and anthony(the guy) go together.. i trust him more then maddy (my best friend) soo yesterday he asked me to go bowling w/ him.. n i asked today.. n shes like.."sure you can, but i need to talk to his dad so i know that he's going too..." ITS SO EMBARISING!!! PLeaSe help..

Your mom's just looking out for you. Be grateful that she cares. She wants to know who you're spending your time with. Nothing embarrassing about that.


-LM
[17/f]

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I have a myspace and last year when i got on i talked to alot of people and i got new comments and messsges everyday. But now this year I haven't talked to more then 6 people this summer. And I'm starting high school next month and when I go to high school I'm not going to talk to alot of people. What do you think I should do?

Well why did you stop talking to all of those people? Comment them and ask how their summer is going.

A lot of people might not be checking their myspaces as much or spending as much time in front of the computer. And you'll talk to lots of new people once you start school again.

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how do u meet guys in a small town from different schools?

Through mutual friends, myspace, school dances, or friends-of-friends.

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Help! I don't know if I'm a good kisser or not/if my boyfriend thinks I'm horrible at it. What can I do?

Honestly, you could read a book about it, and you'd probably forget everything once you went in for the kiss.


Explore. Do what feels right. Make it fun, playful, romantic, whatever you want it to be. Don't make it all about jamming your tongue down his throat, and try not to drool all over him, because it's generally less than desireable to do so.


If you come off as confident it'll be a lot more fun. If all evening you're thinking "Oh my gosh, this is going to be bad" you won't enjoy yourself. Follow his lead at first, if you're truly that nervous.


And really, it's almost impossible to find a truly bad kisser. If anything, they might do something you're not used to; give it a chance before you hate it. Who knows, he might be thinking the same thing right now about you!


Over time, you'll develop your own personal style of kissing/making out, and that's not a bad thing. Do whatever feels good/right to you, and gets a positive reaction. For example, some people love a gentle, or less than gentle, bite of the lip, "necking", and other techniques. Like I already said, experiment & make it fun!


From personal experience I'd advise that you brush your teeth and floss, and have some mild mints with you, like TicTacs. Fruity is usually good, and less overpowering. If you're at a party, don't worry too much about what you're eating if you're both eating the same things, but a huge plate of hummus & extra garlic is a bad choice right before kissing =P. That's where mints come in handy for both of you. Casually offer him one if he's been gorging on something stinky.


Further reading and research:

only search advicenators.com

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-LM
[16/f]

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i'm sixteen years old and i just found out that one of my best friends had sex. we are really close and i was surprised to hear it, especially because i thought she would tell me something like that. i don't know if i should bring it up to her because i don't want her to get angry that i found out or be embarrassed or anything. should i say anything about it or forget it?

If she wanted you to know she would have told you.
Some people don't like talking about their relationships, even to best friends.
It's also possible that she regrets it, and would rather forget than tell you all the details.


-LM
[16/f]

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My 12 year old son has a neighborhood friend (who spends alot of time at our house). He is a very nice boy, who doesn't have alot of friends because he can be "a pain in the neck" (according to my son) and we believe because of his hygiene. His odor is very offensive and we don't even like when he sits on the furniture in the house. He has been in the car with us on a few occasions and it is necessary to open the windows to cut some of the smell. Here's the really tough part... how do we handle this. I would like to pull him to the side and speak to him about taking showers and wearing clean clothes, but the other part of me thinks we should speak to his parents. The problem with this is his mom is not very "clean" either. What should I do??

Has your son noticed this too? If so, it might be easier for this boy to hear it from his friend, and not you. Either way it's a difficult situation. Since his parents are like this too, it's possible that he simply doesn't notice. Also, he's twelve and might be sweating more than he's ever been used to before and not know how to handle it. Try talking to his parents first, and see what happens.


If he sleeps over, offer to wash his clothes when he changes into pajamas. Mention 'you boys should shower after a long day!' or something similar. Good luck.


-LM
[16/f]

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Hey, I'm 16 F as well as my friend. I think she has an eating disorder. Today, we went running, and after she was like "that Chiness really filled me up" Which may I add in, was around 12, and she said thats all she ate today. Shes lost a lot of weight, and she doesn't eat really anything at lunch. A PB&J, banana, and some kind of health bar. Ahd she said she eats for breakfast is a bagle(spelling)I don't know if she eats after school, she says she does. Now the funny thing is, shes losing all this weight, but isn't doing anything to burn calories. Like running or anything. Today was the first day she ran in a looooong time. And me and her other friends always "get on her" about what she;s eating. And yesterday she was talking about how much she weigh and I was like " you know its really not healthy to talk about your weight all the time" and shes like "I'm not I was just saying". Then today, she was said "I feel fat" about 5 times. And before we started running she said" I want to be really skinny" then I looked at her and she was like "not really skinny, but built" and I rolled my eyes. She use to weigh the same as me, 150ish, but she was "fat" and I have an athletic body, I play sports. Back around I say Jan-Febish, she was about 150. Shes now 129 or less. I'm scared, and I really dont know what to do.

Her weight loss was healthy. Don't worry about that.
I don't think she has an eating disorder, I think she lost weight by improving her eating habits. How do you know that she hasn't been doing anything to burn calories? You can't possibly be there for every second of her life. Plus, you said that she's been eating less. Which, if a person is overweight, is something they have to do. I lost thirty pounds mainly by eating less and controlling portions.

Peanut butter and jelly, a banana, and a health bar IS actually a fair amount to eat at lunch. I think your friend is fine, she just has a negative body image. The same thing happened to me when I lost weight, I kept thinking I was still fat and could do better. Unless she stops eating completely you most likely don't have anything to worry about.


-LM
[16/f]

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There's these two guys who I'm good friends with.
One of them is my ex, but now my best male friend.
The other one is just a really good friend.
I admit that I flirt with the second one quite a bit, I kinda like him..in THAT way..but I'm not sure at the moment.
Now quite a few people have been asking me whether I'm getting back together with my ex, since we hang around a lot..and I tell them no.

But what's bothering me is that a lot of people have asked me if I'm dating the second guy.
Would you say they assume that from the way we behave towards each other? Would it be a good sign in a way if people thought that we were together?

Thanks.

It could be a good sign, but it could also simply be their curiosity. I have a lot of guy friends (and a boyfriend) but I've been asked many times if I'm dating my friends. Being comfortable around a guy (or guys) and joking around/spending time together may be interpreted as a relationship to some people.

So, by their noticing something, they're picking up on the fact that you two seem to get along very well. Which, in most cases, would be a good thing I'd assume.

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i didnt know my friend had a boyfriend till i find out after she broke up with him. she dated him for 3 days and broke up with him because he put his arm around her. she only told our other friend Becky about it. Lara and I know each other for 3 years more than she know about Becky, i ask Lara why she didnt tell me she had a bf and she look at me with a frown then looked away saying "i tought becky told you" "no, i found out after you broke up with him, its right for the person who is going out with someone to tell there friends not expect the other friend tell every one" i said she reply "whatever"
i just dont get why she acted that way?
i dont know the guy it was some dude in her class, and i thought friends talk about there dates i do to her?

Well if they dated for three days, they might not have considered themselves boyfriend and girlfriend that soon. Since this guy was "some dude in her class" it's entirely possible that they went on a date or something and it didn't work out so they broke up. As for why she didn't tell you, well, she'll know better than we do. If I had to guess, I'd say that she assumed you already knew (because of her telling Becky). Since she asumed this, she may not have wanted to tell you repeatedly "HEY GUESSS WHAT! I'm going out with him!" almost like rubbing it in your face; it could maybe come off as making you jealous.

Or maybe she just didn't want you to know. Some people (myself included) prefer not to tell every tiny detail about their relationships (some people don't say anything at all). Granted it's a bit extreme not telling good friends about boyfriends, but that may just be who she is. You would have found out at some point (and you did). Best bet would be to ask her what's up, but don't get mad about it unless you want her mad at you, too.


-LM
[16/f]

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boyfriend cheated on my with my best friend. (now ex best friend)
so on her myspace, she mentions in her about me; my NAME && calls me 2 faced.
and shes the one who effin kissed my boy.
s0o my question is, why should she right my name? for some reason she turned everyone against me "making is my fault or something" I MEAN WTF.
ugh

Well obviously she's not your friend. Forget about her, she's not worth your time.


And since your boyfriend cheated on you (and it seems that he has made absolutely no effort to apologize) I'd dump his sorry ass before you could say "it's over".


Ignore her (or at least pretend to, I can see how that would be irritating), and she'll lose interest in making you look bad eventually.


You deserve a better guy AND a better friend.


-LM
[16/f]

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Hi I'm 15 and my best friend is in a relationship with a guy that doesnt go to our school, he just met me, and now me and him are friends, now hes adorable and a sweetheart, he is really nice, and I think I might like him, now I cant tell my best friend that I like him or it will crush her, she talks about him nonstop, and I am happy for her that shes in an awesome relationship, but I am extremely jealous and I have never been in a relationship so I feel really bad that she has the best guy I know and I have no one, Sometimes I cry myself to sleep because I feel like no one loves me, and when I first met her boyfriend he gave me a huge hug and I felt special but I know it was just a friendly hug, HELP me please I have no clue what to do!

Do nothing. It's totally normal to develop a crush on a sweet, nice guy. But a) he's taken, and b) he's with your best friend. So that makes him doubly off-limits.


You'll be much better off (infinitely so, actually) if you stay friends with both of them. But you can develop a friendship with this guy, provided you don't try to make it something more. Focus not on this guy, but on the available guys you've yet to meet, or have been overlooking.


-LM
[16/f]

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My friend has vouchers for a day spa next weekend and has asked me to go with her. Recently I've had to cancel on her a few times and we've been drifitng apart so we decided it would be a good opportunity to catch up. I said I would but then remembered that my boyfriend was planning on taking me to the same spa for our anniversary in a couple of weeks. I wasn't going to tell my boyfriend that I was going with my friend so as not to ruin it for him but I felt too guilty so I did. He said I could go with my friend and he'd think of something else for our anniversary but I know he's disappointed about it.

Should I go and risk upsetting my boyfriend or let my friend down again?

Go twice! It's a spa. It's not like you won't enjoy it, yaknow? If you're worried about doing the same thing twice, I suggest getting something like mani/pedi services, facials, hair, etc. with your friend, and maybe a couples massage (or a regular one depending on what's offered) with your boyfriend. He'll enjoy a massage, and you'll get a massage AND everything else when you go with your friend. I assume that you and your friend would enjoy getting your hair done more than your boyfriend would, anyways. ;)


Enjoy your day(s) at the spa & relax!
-LM
[16/f]

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so jen and i have been friends since like 1st grade, not best friends just friends. then in middle school 6th and 7th grade we didnt really talk but we were still okay friends. 8th grade we had a few classes together and we became good friends. we sat together with morgan kelley and gina and the "lunch crew" had fun. we were all good friends except for jen and gina, jen didnt like gina for stupid reasons and eventually once high school came kelley kinda dropped out from my social life and now recently gina did. morgan doesnt like me but she is best friends with jen. well my best friend is abbie and abbie and i have only been best friends since 6th grade(were freshman now) we did everything together and everyone knew we were besties. all of us abbie,jen,morgan,and kelley were friends. (actually in 7th grade abbie and i didnt talk for a long time and abbie and morgan became besties) (morgan and kelley are besties andhave been for like ever) so kelley aand morgan are out of my life and i dont care. now i have abbie and jen. abbie and jen liked eachother but like i said about jen, shes very speaks her mind and very honest. and something about jen abbie doesnt like. i understand but shes still my best friend. i want a group of friends, so i know there is always somone to talk to and something to do. i dont wanna leave abbie or jen though because like jen really cant be serious and always makes me laugh but we think she has some form of bipolar disorder seriously. she can change from happy and kidding around to like total bitch telling me off in like 2 seconds. but im used to it but abbie on the other hand, i dont find as naturally funny as jen, abbie i feel tries to be funny and its not but shes an awesome friend most of the time. i just want them to be besties along with me so we could all hang out and have fun. if that cant happen, i would probably go to abbie and her friends and maybe we could be a little group. okay my point is how can i get my friends into one big group (even if they have nothing against eachother, how could i get them from the point of just knowing eachother to being besties and hangin out) ( cause i have single friends from different well not cliques but like groups of people (not like one from emo and one from athletic players then a geeky one) we are all basically of the same popularity just not friends(we have a graduating class of 600 so its hard to be friends with everyone and get to know everyone

Well I personally think there's nothing wrong with having more than one group of best friends.

For instance, I went to a different highschool than most of my best friends and good friends from middle/elementary school. So, I have the group I've always known, and friends from my new school that I'm just as close with. Plus, my boyfriend and best friend have barely met, and it's not a problem.

Having friends with different personalities is good, too. It makes things interesting. "Variety is the spice of life" after all. I guess if you wanted everyone to be friends, you could all go to the same place; i.e. friends house, movie, mini golf, etc. If you're all hanging out together you're much more likely to all be friends. You won't just wake up one day and think "Hey let's be BFFLs with ____ and ____!"


-LM
[16/f]

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14/f freshman. I kinda want to change my life around.
Im smart [not genius], nice, pretty and have a few close friends.I never really been involved in sports but im working on that this year. Ive already signed up for a sport.
I want to have a bunch of friends. I want a bunch of people to know me. These days it seems like the only way to really be known is to act ditzy and thats not what i want. Also I want to boost up my flirting skills and hottness. What tips you got for me ?

Hey well, it's actually a 180 you're going for. Do a 360 and you'll be right back where you started ;)

Want to know more people? Socialize with them. And no, you don't have to go sit at a table full of random people. Your friends have friends, right? Exactly. Volunteer answers in class. Partner up with someone else. Little things like that.

Sports will help you meet new people too so you're on the right track there.

Basically just don't let yourself be self-conscious. A big thing guys like is confidence (I know this because most of my friends are guys) and honestly, if you're putting yourself out there, talking, showing off how confident you are as opposed to how hot you are, you're much more likely to be noticed, and for the right reasons. Essentially, to achieve what you want, you're being yourself, but better. If that makes any sense.


-LM
[16/f]

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Hey, I have this friend, a girl. She desperately needs to cry, but she is emotionless and cold. How can I bring her to tears or otherwise help her turn on the waterworks.

Some people just can't cry. It's almost impossible for me to cry, so I know what it's like.

Talking to her and letting her open up will most definitely help her out. Good luck


-LM
[16/f]

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i like my best friend. i grew up with him and he was my best friend for the last 3 years. I’ve never had a boyfriend (bf) but I told him I liked him and he said he liked me then everything just stopped for 2 weeks i dono why and we did nothing about it and for a week of that i was in dead hate with him id do anything to piss him off but now were really close again (cursing him out to telling him I love him-in a friend way). i love him but I treat him like my other best friends. They think that’s wrong. I can say anything to him and there is only 2 people in my life that I can him and my friend that liked him now hates him as of yesterday. Im just very comfortable around him ill tell him anything. He knows im depressed, and struggling he is there for me. He made it so much better and makes me worry a lot less about it. I love being around him. We used to talk about our crushes of other people and us, but now when it comes to talking about crushing or love we smile and end up flirting like little kids in a way I love it lol. everyone says im gothic and i hate that more than anything but hes fine with my ''gothic''clothes and hxc music scares him but he loves it somehow thats the only reason i can be who i am. before i tried to change myself for the last guy and it was a very big mistake and he remembers it.
I don’t know If Im making a big deal about this or what it’s tearing me up. This is the only thing I can’t talk to him about anymore and we used to. I tried but changed the subject after first word… what should I do? I am totally lost.. 13 but 14 next month femallee hes in 3 months but today was the best day of my life :) with my friends. last time i didnt want to date him or anything because i didnt wana loose my best friend

Dating friends is tricky. If you both care about each other- it's probably worth giving a shot. Plus, since you've known each other so long, you'll realize soon enough if you love each other like brother/sister, or something more. And the relationship can end without you two hating each other. If you really like this guy it's probably worth a shot. Next time you're together, talk about how much you care about him, how happy he makes you, ec. Basically everything you just typed to me, tell him- You don't have to change yourself around him, you can tell him everything... all good stuff.

-LM
[15/f]

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okay well there is this guy named joe, and he is one of my friends. hes having a party over the weekend (for his b-day) but i wasnt invited :(
we are friends and we talk and everything, but i dont understand why he didnt invite me. it makes it even worse that he invited a WHOLE BUNCH of people, and not me. what do i do? (and i cant just do something else with my friends that night, because all of them are going to his party)
his girlfriend (one of my close friends) asked me if i was going and i told her that i wasnt invited to it & she was also surprised that i wasnt invited. she said that she was going to ask him why/if he invited me... if he does end up inviting me, wont it be like a pity invite?

Nope. I forgot to invite my best friend to a party when I first sent out invitations. I talked to her so much & planned the party with her I forgot to formally give her an invite.

Since you're friends, its highly unlikely that it'd be a pity invite. He could have truly forgotten.


-LM
[15/f]

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14f
my cusin is the complete opposite of me and shes the same age[14]! she has huge boobs/ass is really smart and gets what ever she wants.
i'm flat, i have to study for tests and i never get anything i want.
Lately, shes been driving me crazy.. she hangs out with people from my school, and it pisses me off cause shes taking everyone from me.
Today I was with my friend on a street right, and then these guys from our school show up. And lets call him "F" He was like hey, wheres your really hot cusin? And i was like i dont know i dont care. The like i dropped my cellphone so i picked it up and then "F" was like do you even have an ass?
It made me feel terrible. All the guys love her for her body and nobody knows the terrible person she is, seriously shes a huge bitch.
I mean i have a loving boyfriend but it still pisses me off, when guys come to me asking whats your hott cusin doing and stuff.
I dont know exactly what my question is but i needed to expose my feelings to something.. blah

Look, it's not your cousin's fault that a lot of guys find her attractive. You have a loving boyfriend, so stop worrying about other people so much. If your cousin's actually acting like a slut (hanging out with a lot of guys doesn't make a girl a slut, it means she has friends that are guys) you can offer your opinion on it, but it's her body & her life. When someone asks "Hey where's your hot cousin?" you can say, "I don't know where Sarah is, call her or something" (use her name, it might help make you feel less annoyed) As for thinking she's a huge bitch, you can't really help what other people think about that, either. Just worry about your OWN life and your OWN boyfriend who loves you, okay? =]

-LM
[15/f]

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i need to break this couple up. iots complicated but it must be done ASAP. any advice on how. im thinking sneeky and sly. so they dont know its me.

Why would you want to do that? You should at least tell us the "logic" you have behind needing to break them up. You should probably stay out of other people's business, unless it's an abusive relationship or something of that sort.

EDIT: Well, if you've already told them and they don't believe you, there's not much else you can do. If cheating won't end the relationship, there's really nothing that you do that could.

-LM
[15/f]

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ok so it's my first year of high school tuesday and well the school i was at last year i guess people judged me alot on the way i look and stuff and made fun of me and i'm kinda scared it will either be the same or worse in high school so any suggestions on what i should do i mean i'm trying to change some of the things people made fun of me about cause i dont like them and i feel i will be happier if i do but that might take a while any ways to just make friends and be happy while i'm trying to change if that makes sense

Change yourself to make yourself happy, no one else. Why, you may ask? The friends you DO have, the people who aren't judgemental, will notice the change in you. Plus, you're never going to make everyone happy. Be yourself, and not somebody else. (That's a good song, btw. Be yourself, by rock start supernova)


Anyways, yeah. Highschool is different and the same at the same time. You realize what really matters and who your true friends are- and the people who are judgeing you based on your appearance are wasting time and energy on things that aren't important. If you don't let it get to you, they'll get over themselves & maybe find something else better to do.


Highschool is great. Enjoy yourself & learn everything you can, corny as that sounds, haha.
-LM
[15/f]

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