When life gives u lemons, make lemonade. Then, throw it in the face of the person who should've gotten you the oranges you orginally asked for.
What we do is determined by what we are. What we are is determined by what we think. What we think is determined by what we experience. What we experience is determined by what we are exposed to and what we do with that exposure.
(MIKE VANCE and DIANE DEACON)
Life is like a book with many different chapters. Some tell of tragedy, others of triumph. Some chapters are dull and ordinary, others intense and exciting. The key to being a success in life is to never stop on a difficult page, to never quit on a tough chapter. Champions have the courage to keep turning the pages because they know a better chapter lies ahead.
(RICH RUFFALO)
Because you're able to do it and because you have the right to do it, doesn't mean it's right to do it.
(Dr.LAURA SCHLESSINGER)
We are born with our eyes closed and our mouths open, and we spend our whole lives trying to reverse that mistake of nature.
(DALE E.TURNER)
You can have anything you want if you want it desperately enough. You must want it with an inner exuberance that erupts through the skin and joins the energy that created the world.
(SHEILAH GRAHAM)
We all have the ability. The difference is how we use it.
(STEVIE WONDER)
Everything is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Every great mistake has a halfway moment, a split second when it can be recalled and perhaps remedied.
One person can make a difference and every person should try.
The one thing worse than being alone is not being alone and wishing you were.
Real difficulties can be overcome, it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.
(THEODORE N.VAIL)
The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.
(ROBERT C. DODDS)
Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not, but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.
(EPICURUS)
When you look in the mirror, you are looking at the problem, but remember, you are also looking at the solution.
Live your life, so you don't have to hide your diary.
Dream what you dare to dream. Go where you want to go. Be what you want to be.
(CALVIN COOLIDGE)
The first thing of importance is to have confidence in yourself, in your abilities.
(KATHARINE GIBBS)
Become a 'possibilitarian'. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see the possibilities-always see them, for they are always there.
(NORMAN VINCENT PEALE)
DAVID COPPERFIELD just might be the greatest magician and illusionist of all time. He is definitely a legend in his own time. Here are some of his most inspiring quotes...
'The easiest thing in the world is to come up with an excuse not to do something. I found that the most important thing in life is to stop saying,'I wish,' and to start saying,'I will.'
'Before there can be wonders, there must be wonder.'
'Whenever I pursued my dreams, I discovered something astonishing-I discovered myself. My secret has been to consider nothing impossible. Then to treat possibilities as probabilities.'
'Passion is everything.'
'I learned that there were two ways I could live my life: following my dreams or doing something else. Dreams aren't a matter of chance, but a matter of choice. When I dream, I believe I am rehearsing my future.'
Miracles do not happen in contradiction to nature, but only in contradiction to that which is known to us of nature.
(SAINT AUGUSTINE)
The world is composed of givers and takers... the takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better.
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
(ROBERT FROST)
Love is a fruit in season at all times and within reach of every hand.
(MOTHER TERESA)
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My husband left my children and I July 2013. He walked out took the car. Junked it so neither of us could have it. During the marriage he stole from my father and from my son. For money. He'd lie about it. During the time we have been separated he meet a girl lived with her and her 2 toddlers and 1 infant. They didn't work out. I ended up having to move up north for support. I didn't have any family were we lived. I filed for divorce. Recently the last 2 to 3 weeks he wants to get back together he loves me and the kids he wants to be a family he'll go to church counseling find a job and keep it work hard. He says he's changed he's sorry I ask why he did the things he did he says he was stupid. He says I won't regret taking him back he wants to prove to me how much he loves me how much he's changed I don't know what to do. (link)
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I can't tell you what to do. Because some people DO change, and they only appreciate what they had when they lose it. But then again, some people do not change, and as soon as they are given a second chance, and they go back to their place, they get too comfortable again, and misuse the chance you gave them, and they go back to doing exactly what they used to do and even worse. A person who could once lay his hands on your son's money, and your father's as well, can definitely do it again. It's the idea that his heart and mind actually told him at one point that it was okay to do that, it is very likely for him to do it again. A relationship, especially marriage, MUST be built on trust,and with trust comes honesty and loyalty and faithfulness. If your marriage was lacking that, then it was built initially on wrong grounds.
I think that he did you wrong, really wrong, and that you deserve much better. I can't tell you what to do, because only YOU know him, and you know how you feel about him, and only you can help yourself and tell yourself what decision to make. I can only tell you that if i were in your shoes, I would let him learn his lesson, continue to learn it, and if he really is sincere about counseling and working, then he'll continue to do that, and he will keep trying to make things right with you. I mean, if you tell him that you don't want to get back with him, you might find him giving up on the job idea and the counseling, because he wasn't actually sincere about that, if he really wants to change, he'll change for himself, not just for you. He will want to be a better person for himself, not just to make things right with you.
If you DO decide to get back with him, I suggest you take it slow and gradually, let him find a job first and secure it, and actually have a source of financial funding for himself, be self-dependent. And just don't rush into this again, don't trust him, don't believe everything he says. And think that it's not only your decision, it could also be your children's decision, I'm not sure how old they are, but if they are grown up enough, you should talk to them, listen to their opinion, their opinion matters, because he is a father figure to them.
Let me know if you would like to talk about this more, feel free to inbox me.
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My mom always finds a way to get pissed off with me even when I'm upset. She thinks that i'm too dramatic and vain (which is pretty normal for a teen like me). I try to tone things down around her, but she still finds things that I do wrong. She never even tries to understand me even when her sisters do. Am I being ridiculous about this or should she try to be more sympathetic and understanding?
(link)
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I do not think that you are being ridiculous. I do think that your mom should be a little more understanding when you feel upset or when you're not at your best mood. But it's something very common in our parents, how there is this generation gap, and they always fail to overcome it, to be able to understand us and how we think and what we're going through. They always think that we're just young and especially in that teenager phase, they think that we exaggerate things and create problems out of nothing, when they don't know, that everyone deals with the same problem in different ways, according to your age, and how much you can take. So she might see that these problems are nothing in comparison to the problems that she faces in her age, but for you, it seems really big and upsets you, and yes she should be sympathetic and she should be there for you and she should help you go through whatever you're going through. I can understand where you're coming from and how you feel about her being that way with you, and I'm sure a lot of people can relate to your situation. The only thing you can do is to talk to her about it, in a very nice and respectful manner, without fighting or getting angry or storming off, just tell her that you wish that she could be there for you more and she could listen to you and give you a chance and be more understanding, and how you understand that sometimes she might think that the problems you're facing are simple, but they're really hard on you and you need her to guide you. And even if she gets mad at first or defensive, just know that she will take what you say into consideration between her and herself, and when she does think about it, she will find that you are true in what you say, and over time, you will find her making the effort to change in that department. And after all, at the end of the day, she's still your mother and she loves you, it's impossible that she doesn't like you and that's why she's treating you that way, ofcourse not, but parents always want to see their children in the best way, even if they try to do that by controlling you or fighting with you or acting in a way that you can't explain or not understanding you, they think in their own minds that they're doing this for the best, for your best.
And you can also try to not be upset infront of her or complain to her a lot about anything, try to keep that to yourself or talk to someone else about it, maybe a friend or a sibling or another family member. Try to always be cheerful around her, and even if you sometimes do get upset, and she starts getting pissed off, try to change the subject around and laugh it off, show her that you're not serious about it, that you're not exaggerating things like she thinks you are.
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I'm 15 years old, and still thought i was a virgin it' hurts me to read other people's stuff saying they thought they were too but it turned out that im not one , i've been with that guy 1 year and about to be 3 months. .. and right now.. i dont know what to do or think... My mom is like a bestfriend, how should i tell her how things happend'? that im not, and what me n him were doing . it breaks my heart lying to her :'( i neeed advice . ALOT. (link)
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There is no easy way to tell your mom about it, but there is the fact that she's your mom and she's your best friend, and no matter what you do, a mother's love is unconditional and she will always love you. Even if she gets really mad at you at first, and maybe even stop talking to you for a while, and that's usually, because she'll be hit by the fact that you've grown up, and how soon that happened, because parent's usually always see their children as children, as the little babies they once were, but they always expect that one day you'll grow up and move past this stage, but it differs when you grow up too soon or too late. This is what hurts them the most, growing up too soon, it's like time has passed and you've already had sex and lost your virginity. Your mom will be hurt at first, but she'll accept the fact soon enough, and she'll be there for you.
And believe me telling her is better than not telling her, and like you said, she's like a best friend to you, and tell her that, tell her that you are so close to each other and that you never want to lie to her or keep secrets from her, so you are being honest with her and telling her that you lost your virginity, she will respect that and love that you opened up to her and trusted her and was honest with her, even if she'll be upset at first.
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I have been married a little over a year. I didnt know my husband very long before we got married but I loved him I know I did and I still do but he wont work, he doesnt help with house work unless i beg him to please help me. He complains when i go to work and has to stay home with our daughter. I have a 3 year old son who isnt is. But my son knows him as his father. It just seems like he is constantly yelling at him. Hes spanked him before and left a big hang print but he doesnt touch him now since i yelled about it and made him apoligize. We have been arguing a lot. We have our good days and our bad but it seems to just get worse. Weve has fights were hes taken a part off my car so i couldnt leave but he told me to get the F out. I love him and care about him I just dont know what to do. I am looking for support and advice and your opinion please and thank you (link)
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Well the situation seems a mess, and I'm not married, but i've seen my parents, and your situation reminds me of them.
Maybe your husband is too lazy to go look for a job himself, so maybe you should look for him, go job hunting, try to ask people you know if they have any positions free, what does he work? Maybe if you point out a good opportunity, he won't miss out and he would actually consider. I'm sure he gets bored himself, and that's exactly why he fights with you, cause he doesn't like the concept of you having something to do and being busy and he's just sitting around like that being useless.
And when he treats the kids bad, its again because he can stand himself and he's angry and upset so he takes it out on them. So definetly, the solution is him finding a job to occupy himself, cause then, when he comes back home, you'd be done with work too and you'll see each other and you'll miss each other, and you'll have things to talk about and share, and it will be better than. If you can't talk to him yourself about job offers, maybe you can talk to a family member related to him to talk to him about it, maybe then when he finds everyone nagging him about it, he'd start to consider.
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My sister is almost 16 and going through this stage where she thinks shes better than everyone, especially me. She's always pushing me around.. and everything she says to me is some sort of comment to bring me down. She mocks me and tells me to shut the f*** up and all this other inappropriate stuff for NO reason. I just ignore her, because its stupid to even bother arguing with someone as immature as her. But sometimes i get so mad, I just want to punch her in the face and put her in her place. I've talked to my parents and they know that she THINKS she's so hot. I cant ignore her any longer, im sick of her thinking she has the right to walk over me. (And my brothers and sisters.) How do I stand up? And dont tell me to sit down and talk to her. You dont understand - this girl will NOT listen that way. (link)
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I know what your talking about, and guess what, this is what teen age does to us, it changes us completely, and the worst part, is when it changes us at home, with our family and how we treat our younger siblings. Its a phase and she'll get through it, she probably thinks that like that she's acting mature and responsible and as an elder sister, but she's not, and who's fault it is, is your parents,no offense meant, they should do something about it, because she wouldn't listen to anyone but them, and if they seriously do not tell her something about her attitude right now,she'll just get worse, tell me about it, if they leave her like that, eventually it'll become a part of her, and she'll treat everyone like that, even your parents in the very end, and they won't be able to do anything about it then.
So sit and talk with your parents again, not her, and tell them how you feel, and how she's way past the limits, so that next time when she does something, they should talk to her about it, and really put a limit to this, and don't make them feel like you want to put your sister in trouble, but tell them in a way that you care for her, and for her to not turn into some kind of monster, where you and your siblings would just eventually grow to dislike her and not talk to her .You don't want that to happen. And if you can even have your other siblings on your side agreeing with you while you talk to your parents, that would make your parents realize that this is really getting out of hand, so they would take an action.
But i want to tell you that in the very end, your sister is your sister, she's probably very kind at heart and a very sweet person, and i know that no matter what she does, you will still love her all the same, but its just a phase i promise, she's overwhelmed by her age and the elder position she's in, and especially if she's hot and popular and usually has the spotlight wherever she goes, it usually makes people proud and obnoxious, and instead of appreciating it, they abuse it.
Hope i helped,please be free to contact me if you need anything else. Best of luck :D
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I hate the way my family treat me. They constantly rag on me for no reason. All i do is walk in the room and they will say something about me to hurt my feelings. For instance, my dad yelled at me for eating one time, telling me id get fat. (At the time i was 115 lbs.) I wouldnt even eat for days, and one meal..i would get yelled at. For a while, I used to starve myself because I was sick of getting yelled at and sneaking food at midnight. Now, i eat less and my dad will laugh and joke about how Im anorexic, which isnt true. My younger sister also calls me fat, when im only 125. (Im 16). She even calls me a dyke (not true) because ive never had a boyfriend. She, on the other hand, goes out and sleeps with every guy that says hello to her. My dad knows it, but he still laughs and calls me that too and tells me im never going to get a boyfriend. My dad thinks i should drop out of high school because my grades werent as good as last years. (Im still on honor roll.) I dont make straight A's like my sis, and Im not outgoing as my sis. And because of that, they call me a failure and doubt my intelligence. Im sick of them treating me like im nothing. They say they are "joking" but they know how much it hurts and continue to do it all the time. They enjoy seeing me down and thats why they keep bringing me down. I used to ask them to stop, but they dont listen. Now i just ignore them because i know words cannot kill me. But honestly, they are. I never thought words could be so powerful and have such an influence on me, but the consistancy of it has ruined my self esteem and has caused me to stop talking. Im starting to believe i am nothing, because thats how im always treated. Any advice? Dont tell me to talk to them or anyone. I have tried it so many times in the past, they ARENT going to listen. (link)
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I know exactly how you feel, and what your talking about, and how that really hurts you so much and touches you no matter how many times it is said to you, you just never come to adapt or accept it, but it gets to you every single time, until you really start believing what is said. But imagine the worst, imagine being called a bitch or a whore, imagine hearing that from every single person you ever meet in your life, and the only people you don't wanna hear it from are your parents because you'd think they'd believe in you, but on the contrary they tell it to you every single day and in every fight or arguement or any simple thing you do. It makes you lose confidence and respect in yourself and your dignity, and makes you wanna go out there and shout out to people they are like this, and when they ask you why would you say that about yourself, you say, because thats what my parents tell me I am and make me believe that this is who i am.
If your capable of adapting to it, meaning that, you are capable of not making their words and what they say get to you, and you just ignore them, and when they tell you whatever, you just joke back with them and laugh and show them that you don't care, if you can do that, then go ahead and do it. And eventually they'll see that you don't take their words seriously and you don't really care about what they're saying, cause every parent has their own parenting skills, and obviously yours have some really bad ones, no offense, but in everyone's skills they think that they're doing whats best for you, and unfortunately, they're thinking the same with you, they wanna make you be perfect, have a healthy life, not to be overweight or underweight, and to have a boyfriend and get high scores in your studies, but the way they express that is low and hurting. But you can try to understand it in your own way, think that no matter what, your parents love you, although they don't express it in the right way.
If you can't accept it, there is pretty much nothing to do about it, because your parents are not your friends, you can't fight back or stop talking to them or treat them bad, because they are your parents and your the kid, and no matter what, you can't change that, so you might as well accept it. You can try talking to them less, don't sit with them much, just say hi and bye, whats up, hang out on your own, in your room, focus on your studies, use the excuse that you have so much studies so as not to sit with them. Have your own life and space, hang out with your friends, join some activity you like, pick a sport, maybe join something online. Just have something to fill up your time. And as long as you do get good grades and prove them wrong, they'll have less to critisize about you.
And about your sister, they spoiled her with all their good comments and encouragement they give her, and if she sides with you, then she'd be against them, and they'd start crisizing her too, and she probably doesn't want that. And you know, it runs in so many families, that one kid is treated bad and picked on most of the time, and its usually the youngest. But the thing is,what these parents don't know, is that one day, when they grow up and they're sick and can barely move, this kid who they've been so bad to, is the one whose gonna sit there and be with them and nurse them, and this kid is gonna do this with all his heart and love. But they don't know that. And all the other kids they had and spoiled will barely ask about them. So to your family, your a favourite, at one point of life, maybe not now, maybe not today, but somewhere there.
Hope i helped, if you need anything else, or if you'd like to talk more, please be free to contact me. Best of luck :D
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16, Female
Last weekend I went to a party, I didn't drink because it was school the next day. I was walking home with my boyfriend and mum had called me and asked where I was. I told her i was almost home, she said that dad was on his way and he wasn't happy. I knew I would be in trouble, and dad would go off at Kieran for being with me.
Turns out instead of going off a Kieran he just left him, to walk home alone. I felt so bad. When we got home dad was yelling at screaming at me, so i just walked away, didn't talk to him for a week after that, it made mum and dad fight I hate doing that to them.
Why are my parents so much more protective than anyone else's?
(link)
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Every parent is different than the other, but they all have the same intentions, they all think that they do this cause they are raising their children well and they all want their children to be the best, it just differs in the way they do it, and the rules they set, and what they allow and don't allow.
And believe it or not, some parents are more strict than yours, some don't even allow their children to date at a young age, or go to parties, or drink. And every child thinks their parents are too strict, even the ones who have it so easy. And sometimes even ,when you actually have it so easy, you complain that you have it too easy and that your parents don't give you protection at all or attention. So you are better than others and at the same time worse than others. You are something in between, and however, you should just be grateful, there are always the ups and downs.
And about your parents fighting, and especially if its because of you, i know how that must feel believe me, and it doesn't feel good, just try to do less of the things that make them upset.
And hey, parents always fight, even if their children are perfect, they always find a reason to fight. Just don't stop talking to your dad, on the contrary, talk to him and get closer to him and get on his good side, make him understand you more, make him trust you more by sharing things with him, and maybe then he'd be easier on you. And fill them in on what you do and where you go, I mean, did they even know that you were in that party? Maybe if you'd told them, and told them how you wouldn't drink cause you knew the right thing, they would've trusted you more and not worried about where you were or what you were doing.
They do this cause they are just worried, especially when they don't know where you are, imagine if something happened to you there, and they didn't know where you were, how would that help them deal with it. They have good intentions and they're just looking out for you. I know it sucks and their will always be fights about this, but try to accept it and adapt to it, and just tell yourself, that they don't do this to hurt you or be mean to you, but to look after you.
Hope i helped, if you need anything else, please be free to contact me. Best of luck!
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So for an English party in school, I asked my mom to make a cake for me. Shes really talented in baking cakes! In school, I was waiting until lunch time so I could pick up the cake my mom made this morning for the party. When I went to pick the cake, I found out that it wasn't wrapped..but it was a box from the store. When I opened it, I noticed that it was a cake brought from the store! Just a plan cake which is very common around here. I don't really like those cakes. I got very angry.. and questions kept running in my mind "why didn't my mom make the cake? and why did she bring this crappy one?" I got tears in my eyes. Even though I got a cake, I knew people wouldn't like it. So during the party...guess what happened? NO ONE...not a single person! ate the cake.. :'( I did nothing but cry to myself. My dad payed lots of money.. it was a pretty huge cake! Not even my English teacher ate the cake.. I think my friends saw me crying. So 5 of my friends took a piece of the cake. But still, its embarrassing. Carrying a huge cake around with no one eating it. When I went home, I yelled at my mom. This was wrong. But I couldn't help it. I got very very angry. She said she couldn't make the cake..but its not my fault! :( I WAS Embarrassed. I yelled at her pretty badly.. that I don't trust her anymore and stuff like that. She got so mad, she threw a whole glass bowl on the floor, and it broke into pieces. I did the same, I banged the telephone on the table..now it doesn't even work. What do you think of this?? I know I made a mistake, but I couldn't control my anger since I was embarrassed. (link)
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Well first of all, you were wrong when you shouted at your mom, i mean, there are many other ways that you could express your anger and hurt from what she did, and if you had talked in a better way, maybe then she could've felt guilty and saw that your right, but now you are so not right, cause you wasted your right by being wrong and shouting at her and throwing objects on the floor, you can never do that to your parents, there should always be respect.
And yes your mom might have been wrong about not doing the cake, but you really never know what she had, or what her reasons are, or maybe she really was busy, and maybe if you knew her reasons, you would've understood. And them not eating the cake its basically their loss and its good enough that you even brought anything for this party and shared something, and its only low of them if they don't appreciate it, no matter what the cake's type is, i mean, its still cake, and its an English party.
So my advice here, is to completely forget about the party incident, and maybe next time you'll have the cake you want and it will be a much better party, but this time you didn't and it was bad and embarassing, but don't embarassing moments happen all the time to all people? Like someone who throws a birthday party with the best 'cakes' ever, but then not ONE person shows up, it has nothing to do with the party or the cake or the host, it has to do with the people, and how they're too stuck up and low that they didn't come.
So apologize to your mother, tell her that you really crossed the line, and that your very sorry,and that you don't care about any cake or party,and try to ask about her reasons, maybe there is something, and it would be nice for you to be there for her, and then thank your dad for the cake, and for all the money he put in it to get it for you and make you happy. And hey, parents don't usually understand what we need or how we feel, or how that affects us in school or embarasses us, they think they're doing something good, and they have good intentions, but they don't know that they are really actually embarassing us. So be grateful to them and thank them.
Its just a fight and there are probably many fights yet to come, i mean, who doesn't fight with his parents, but you can't cross the line again or do like what you did this time.
Hope i helped, if you need anything else, please be free to contact me.Best of luck!
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Hi,
Long story short.. my parents are divorced, I live with my mom whom I do not get along with. I would rather live by myself (not with my dad cuz that would create more conflict with my mom), but just in my own house with myself. I have had kidney failure my whole life so I have to visit the doctor a fair bit.
I've had my share of bad days. I only ever had one true friend.. that ended up using me for my brother. My mom likes this betrayer more than me and she treats my younger sister as the daughter she never had. (theres only two girls, my younger sister and I).
I am in grade 12 and I am trying so hard to make it through my classes and my life, but with all the stress of my mom, my older asshole brother, my cheeky younger sister, no friends (except for the 'one' who sleeps with my bro every weekend when he comes home), I don't have anything to hold onto. I just want to get through this year without killing myself (not literally, but inside) and being able to know that when I get on the other side, something greater will be waiting.. and maybe it won't hurt just to touch it.
(link)
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No matter how parents treat us or how they sometimes favour one of their children, or how they not seem to care or how your brother seems like an a-hole or how your sister seems cheeky, in the very end, beneath all that, you all love each other, one way or another, and maybe you can't see that, because of all the differences and all what all of you have been through, you all just grew apart and there is anger or very little hatred or jealousy, but there is still love and you all love each other, but things are hard, and your house seems in pretty bad shape and lots of problems.
About your brother, and i know how sometimes its very bad when your best friend hooks up with your brother, but maybe she wasn't 'using' you in the exact meaning of using someone, maybe she liked him and wanted to get to know him through you,because apparently that's the only way,and maybe its not about her sleeping with him, its about they like each other, they're inlove, maybe.
About your cheeky sister, don't let it out on her, its not her fault that your mom favours her, try to be nice to her, get close to her, and try to get close to your brother, try to be cool about your brother and your friend dating, cause maybe when you get closer, you'll see things differently, and maybe then your brother wouldn't be such an a-hole. And maybe if you get closer to your little sister, you'd get closer to your mom, and see that has nothing to do with using your sister, its to do with getting close to someone through someone else. And talk to your mom, be there, maybe she's having a hard time or she's upset or i don't know, you never know. Try to not fight and try to actually get along, hold diplomatic conversations.
And at the very end, studying is the most important thing you have right now, cause its your only ticket out, and away from all this trouble and problems and misery. So focus on your studies and try to occupy your time as much as you can, and just be diplomatic with everyone, stay away from fights and trouble, so no one would hold anything against you, and soon, very soon, you'll be out of there, so there is actually something worth all what you're going through.
Hope i helped, if you need anything else, please be free to contact me. Best of luck!
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My father's attitude towards me is very negative i
feel like whenever i talk to him he makes negative
comments about me almost as if i'm not good enough it doesn't make me feel very good is there anything
i can do to stop this from happening?
Thank you (link)
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I know exactly what you're talking about and how you feel and what you're going through, and it's as if he's not interested with anything to do with you, and everytime you say something or do something,he'd always criticize negatively,and he's always disappointing you and putting you down and making you upset. Its a common problem, but its not a very nice problem, and maybe if you talk to him about it, not in a serious way or to have a fight or anything, but just a heart to heart conversation, and maybe if your mother agrees with you about his attitude towards you, and if you have any sisters or brothers and they agree too, so they'd be on your side, so maybe you could tell them to talk to your dad about how he treats you, especially your mom, she should tell him that herself. And if he sees that you all agree together, he'll start reconsidering his attitude and maybe really seeing that he's not being so nice to you.
Hope i helped, feel free to contact me if you need anything. Best of luck!
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I'm going to try to keep this from getting too long, but I don't know if that is possible! I'm 20 years old, in school and working while living with my mom. My parents just got divorced in January. My dad cheated on my mom with two different women- both were ongoing affairs and he is still seeing the last woman. My mom has been with him since she was 16 and is devistated. My dad was not involved in my life while I was growing up. He didn't show any interest in me and was very verbally abusive. Now that he is divorced, he sees what he lost and now is trying to be a part of my life. I appreciate it... however, I'm just so incredibly disgusted by him and seeing my mom so upset and depressed really makes me resent him. I don't know how to move forward with this and how far into my life I should let him. It's a tough situation. Thoughts? (link)
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You have all the right to be mad at him and resent him and hate him because he hurt you just like he hurt your mother, not only because you love your mother and your hurting cause she's hurting, but because he should've thought of you too,not only your mother, when he cheated. And i know how it must feel. But here is the thing,in life, no matter what our parents do, or how wrong they are,or how bad they treat us, or or or..etc they are not your friends, so you can't just snap at them and break up with them, but they are your parents, and no matter what, you must show them respect, even if inside of you, you've lost all respect to them, you still must show it and act it, and simply be diplomatic. You're not expected to do anything more but be respectful to them. And don't even fight with your dad or tell him to stay away or fight with him because of what he did, cause what he did is done and nothing is gonna change it,it would only make matters worse if you fight with him. So you just be respectful and talk to him in a diplomatic way.
If you need any other help, feel free to contact me. Best of luck!
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Okay, so me and my mom had like this reallyyy deep conversation about her childhood and what it was like compared to what i have. Anyway, it made me realize everything that she does for me. So for her birthday--which is in July--i want to do something special. When i was talking to her she mentioned how she ALWAYS wanted a doll called baby thumbelina. She said how she belived for like 3 years that if you wished on a star and didn't tell anyone your wish would come true. And everynight that was what she wished for..that doll. So as a birthday present or something i was wondering, would it be weird if i got her that doll? Shes going to turn 45. I know shes old, but its kind of something she never forgot. Also, where can i find a cheap REAL one and one thats not damaged or like broken or has anything wrond with it. (link)
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I've never heard something as sweet as your thought here. Seriously girl, if i was your mother, i'd simply be ecstatic if you got me that gift. The point here is not that she's too old or too young, its just the thought that matters and how you were listening to her and wish for her wishes to satisfy and come true, so you'd make her happy, so seriously, this is so special. So definitely, get the gift and go for it.
But about where to get the gift, i can't really help you with that, cause i'm from egypt here, so i'm not really from your area. lol.
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13/f -okay, heres the problem! I love my mom (of course) but me and her get into SOOO many fights, and I know its common for teens to get into fights with their moms, but she always starts it!! I will just say something, and she will think that i'm yelling at her and be like "rar!" and then i'll be like UGH and then we will just ignore each other for the rest of the day (sounds childish right? EXACTLY!!) Also, my mom is such a hipocryte (dunno how to spell that)!!! She will do the same things I do, and then i get mad at her!! CAN YOU PLEEEEASE TRY TO HELP ME BECAUSE I DONT WANNA FIGHT AS OFTEN WITH HER BECAUSE THIS GOES ON LIKE EVERYDAY!!! (link)
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Hey,
I have read your problem and i understand what your going through, and as you said, its just the typical mother/daughter fights that go on everyday in every house all around the world.
I have answered a couple of questions similar to yours before. So umm.. listen, first of all, i have to make sure that you know that your mom really loves you and cares about you and doesn't hate you when she fights with you, its just that you probably do some actions that get on her nerves and she probably does the same thing which annoys you. So all you have to do, is that when you come to talk to her,and you think that you are gonna start a fight, just shut up and don't say anything, just say okay and agree with whatever she's saying and just walk off and leave her. But do that in a respectable way and don't be rude about it. I am telling you to do this, so that she wouldn't get pissed off and would keep shouting at you and stuff. So just quite things down before a fight breaks out. Try to follow what i said for a couple of days, and you will notice that things would quite down between you and your mom, and try to maybe not do what you see that annoys her, and try to be much nicer and try to get closer to her and be put on her good side.
Just think of what i said and consider it, and if there is any other help or advice you need, please be free to contact me or leave your email in the feedback for further advice personally.Goodluck:)
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about a week ago, my parents were fighting. it was so bad that me and my sister had to call my grandparents to tell them that we would like to sleepover. our parents tried to work it out but i don't know what will happen. also the next day when my dad saw us, he started crying and saying that he loves us. it was weird though to see my dad crying but i thought something was going on. yesterday i went blueberry picking with my parents and my sister. i wasn't really up to it but my mom said privately to me that we did this to be together and we don't have to be together and not have my father.
i am really scared now. please can you help me?
ty in advance. 13/f (link)
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hey,
I don't want you to worry. I have been in this situation alot before. Its simply that your parents had this huge fight at first which was on the verge of ending with a divorce. But then they thought of you and your sister, and they didn't want to break down the family just for your sake. They wanted you to grow up and have one nice family with a father and a mother together. And thats why you all went to pick blue berries together, so you would be together as you always were. Both your parents realised after the fight,how much they had exaggerated and know they just want the best for you. So they probably sorted things out together and know everything is back to normal. But they feel alittle guilty because they hadn't thought of you at first, so now they are making it up for you and showing you that you are all together. And thats something nice, you shouldn't worry.
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hi guys i have this big problem. first off, i am almost 15 & my parents are in their 50s they are very old fashioned. they only let me hang out w/ girls im only allowed to talk to boys in school or on the phone in the daytime. they always see hanging out with boys as a "date" & never let me hang out w/ my friends that are boys just because they are boys. i think this is unfair ive tried everything possible to convince them otherwise please help me pleassse (link)
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Hey,
I know that this sounds hard for you not to be allowed to hang out with guys. but unfortunately there is nothing that you can do about it.
And my parents are exactly the same as yours,they are very old fashioned, and have that concept , that guys can only be colleagues, but they can;t be friends or best friends or people to hang out with. and my parents are even more strict than yours, because i can't even talk to guys online or on the phone. So at least you have something that other people don't have.
So in this situation, there is nothing that i would say that could help you, but my only suggestion, is for you to hang out with guys and have all the fun you can have with them in school,or that when you go out with a group of friends as girls, maybe a couple of guys could come too, and you don't have to tell your parents, and if they know, you could just tell them that you met them there. Therefore, you could hang out with both guys and girls. this is the only solution, but in the same time, don't go and tell your parents that you are going out with a girl when you are going out with a boy instead, don't do that, because if they find out, you won't have an excuse then.
So try to consider what i said, and if you need any other help or advice then please be free to contact me.
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My mom told my sister and I a few days ago that if she tells us to do something, we have to do it within 5 minutes or we "lose our privileges". She isn't patient at all. When she tells us to do the dishes, and we say "I will", then she looks at her watch casually to time us 5 minutes to do it. She constantly has to have us doing chores, too. Whether its vacuuming, yard work, dishes, emptying the trash, or putting something up, she can't wait and we have to do it NOW. If we aren't cleaning in some way, we're wasting time (according to my mom). What do we do? (link)
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Hey,
Alot of parents wait till we reach a certain age, and they start forcing all the chores on us, and making us do them all and no time, and if we dont' of if we are late, then they make a huge fight and ground us.
So i have an idea that you can do, why don't you finish all the chores you have, first thing in the morning when you wake up, either if it is the dishes, or yard work, or vacuuming or the trash, and make things look tidy and clean, so that when she comes she will find everything looking nice ,and she will be satisfied, and as well as after every meal, you hurry to wash the dishes before she tells you to do. And the point of doing all of this, is because thats what she wants you to do. At least do it for a couple of days, and when she finds you doing it by yourself , she will be very happy with you, because all she is trying to do is to make you responsible in the house, and show you that you have chores and tasks that have to be done on time. And if you keep on doing that for a couple of days, she will go back to being patient, and you won't have to worry about your privilege.
So goodluck and please be free to contact me whenever you like, if you need any advice or help.
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My mother's boyfriend is very inconsiderate to my little sister and I. He seems to think that anything that we have to say can not possibly be more important than what he might be saying, even if we need help with our homework or are cooking dinner and can't find something. He also does not seem to think that the rules of the house apply to him. Another big problem is his phone behavior. He will call while one of us is on the phone with a friend (we have call waiting) and when we tell him that we are on the phone and that we will have our mother call him when we are done, he still calls back about ever five minutes. He has done this when we were on the phone long distance, and we finallly got irate and yelled at him (he had called back six times, we counted) Then when he talked to our mother, he told her that we were rude to him. We have told all of these things to our mother over the last two years, to no avail. How can we get her to break up with this jerk? (link)
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hey,
You shouldn't be thinking of how to make your mother break up with this guy, because your mother might be happy and wants to be with him.
On the other hand, i suggest that you simply stay out of his way, and don't talk to him at all, if he wants to make a call,then he can do whatever he wants, and if he wants to act in a silly behaviour, then let him do whatever he wants, and don't show him that you care, because all i say is someone like him acting like a kid, a naive person.
So if you want to call someone or talk to your mom or do anything that he doesn't approve of when he is around,then do it when he is not around.
More and more, why don't you consider building a relationship between you and him, you could sit and talk with him, and tell him about stuff that are going on in your life, and share jokes with him, and make him feel that he is a part of he family, and not just someone who invaded in on it.
He just wants someone to love him and care for him, and make him feel that he's welcome. He maybe a little naive and has some characters that are unbearable. But every person has good and bad characters, and since you spotted the bad ones, then why don't you try to find his good ones. Please consider this, try to talk with him and ask about him, and know him better, because sometimes a person is fooled by the outside personality of the opposite person, but if you sit and know him better, then you will be knowing him from inside and from his real personality. So goodluck:) and try to consider all i said.
And if there are any other troubles, problems, worries or concerns, then please be free to contact me.
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i have talked to my mom about everything.. and she just ingornes it and says i'm over reacting.. as far as getting to knwo the guy i've known him for years... ..they used to be just friends.. and i have never liked him.. he touches me way to much.. and treats my lil brother and sister like crap.. they don't even like him.. he's really a lot younger than my mom and really immature.. his own sister doesn't want her kids around him unless my mom is around.. and his mom told my mom she needs to get out while she can.. i mean thats got to say somethin.. but i never had a relationship with my mom b/c of her ex. and then we actually got close.. and now he's taking that away from me again.. and it really upsets me.. .. and he thinks everything is about him.. i have an eating disorder and my family knows about it.. so i don't eat sometimes.. well the other day he got in my face yelling at me saying that me not eating wasn't gonna get rid of him.. and i just looked at him and asked him if he ever thought everything wasn't about him.. so he grabbed my arm and jerked me up from the couch and tried to make me go to my little sisters room.. and i said something to my mom and she said there was nothing she could do .. like she was scared.. how is that supposed to make her happy ? (link)
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Hey,
I am really sorry the advice didn't work out last time, but its really nice of you to come and tell me what happened, therefore i thought of something else, and i want you try it out, and please try the things i tell you, because it could work.
Now you may have talked to your mom and she said that you are overreacting, and your mom maybe afraid of that new guy and can't control him to treat you guys better. But on the other hand, your mom still loves you and cares about you, and i am sure that she wouldn't dare make him raise a hand on you or hit you or slap you or anything of such,So please don't worry.
i think that maybe this guy has either never dealt with children before, or he just totally hates children, but either ways you still have a chance. Listen to me, there isn't a person who you treat really well, and respect him and obey him, and he'd just hate you and hit you and yell at you and be mean to you. I don't think thats possible, except in movies and fantasy life.
So maybe if you be extra nice to him, and trying getting him something nice, as a small gift or something, maybe even your sister and brother could join in to help you with the gift, and you'd tell him how happy you are that he is joining your family, just say anything that can please him, and try to sit with him, and talk with him.
And about your mom, tell her that you are not over reacting and that you are really upset about all that, and its making you feel down, and that you are trying hard to make him be nice to you and to like him, but he's jut not giving you that chance that you are giving him.
So,consider what i said ,and if it didn't work out, please be free to contact me, because i have a suggestion i could tell you about ,but only if what i said didn't work.
Goodluck :)
P.S: you sent me the letter 3 times, so i will only answer once.
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ok my mom just came out of a 12 yr relationship and jumped into another one.. well they have been together for a yr now and i don't like the guy at all. the other day he proposed and she said yes. now my mom and her boyfriend act like they don't want me around. and my half brother and sister will look at me and say i hate you.. and stuff like that .. and i don't wonna let them know it gets to me.. but it really does hurt me.. i live with my grandparents [[ her parents ]] but i still want to have a relationship with my mom. what should i do? b/c i really don't want them to have the satisfaction of knowing they hurt me.. but they really do. =[ (link)
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hey,
First of all, this all sounds really tough, and i am sure that your not too happy with your mom's engagement and how she accepted to be with that guy without asking you first.
Second of all, i would like to clarify a point for you, your family( sister, half brother and mother ) ,they all love you, because they are your family and they were raised up with you, and care about you.
Third of all, i am sure that no one hates you and that its not about not wanting you to be around, but its just that they are probably to preoccupied,and excited about their engagement and being with each other. And most probably,your half brother and sister both like this new guy,and thats why they are mad at you because you don't like him.
Fourth of all, i understand that you don;t really like that new guy, but i suggest that you should maybe try and give this guy a chance, and get closer and try to know him better. And you may like him and find him interesting and actually fun, because sometimes, we judge people from how we see them from the outside and according to first impressions, but then when we get closer, and know them from their inside and their true personality, we find out that we were wrong about them.
So try to do what i said, because if you really did like him later on, your mother would feel much happier and would start involving you in stuff and paying more attention to you, because all your mother needed, is someone to congratulate her and feel happy for her and be with her when she takes a big step like accepting to be with him.
So try to consider what i said, and try to work on involving yourself in stuff some more, and give the guy a chance, because you may be wrong about him, and have some self confidence in yourself, and never have that feeling that someone hates you, especially if its a family member because hate is a really big word, they could be upset or mad, but they don't hate you.
So goodluck, and if there are any further problems, troubles, concerns, or worries, then please be free to contact me.
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omg i'm really getting sick of my sister.(shes 2years older(15)) everyone is like obsessed with her. everyone just swarms to her and ignores me. it's basically been like this since we were babies. whenever my neighbors come to the door (which is like, every day) they're just like "is your sister here?" and if i say no they're just like o ok and walk away, and im just like hellooo i'm not invisible. and all adults are think shes like, the greatest thing ever. when shes around them, especially when we go to our grandparents house she acts all perfect. like when we ate she got up and started clearing the table and started cleaning all the dishes and cleans everything and acts like shes perfect just so people will think shes all good like that, but at home she'll just leave her crap everywhere. and tosay we were at my neighbors house and we were talking to his mom and she was talking about this time her boyfriend snuck over at like 2 and her excuse was ooh his parents were fighting and he had nowhere to go so he came to my house and my neighbors mom was all like awwww. and i was like noo unm he did that like, twice. so later she was like, o my god why did you say that?? its like she lies about stuff and then wants people to think she does nothing wrong. also, i really like to draw, and all of a sudden shes like oo i like arttt , all of a sudden and starts drawing eyes like, 24/7 and she thinks they're soo good. i drew all over my backpack one day because i was bored lol so my neighbor was over and she was like look how good this eye is so she drew it and i was like umm no offense that doesnt look real at all. so shes like fine show alex(my neighbor) the one you drew on your backpack and he'll rate them one to ten. so she draws this thing that basically look like an olive with a pupil and big straight eyelashes. and i showed him mine, (and i'm not bragging or anything. drawing is one of the few things i'm actually pretty good at) and i think it looked really good and realistic(so did my mom) and hes like to my sister, you get an 8. noo wait i mean a 10! and he saw mine and was like uuum a 5 or a 4. its like he went on my sisters side just because. its like no matter what i do my sister always has to do it better, even though i've been in her shadow basically my whole life. idk why everyone is so drawn to her, she has like, multiple personalities. shes mean to my mom and stuff but then she'll go see some other adult and act all nice and smart. same with people her own age. if shes around them and she doesnt really know them, she tries to act soo tough and stuff. it's like shes different depending on who shes around. it frustrates me soo bad because she always gets all the attention and everyone listens to her and. uugh i dunno. im just really sick of this. i'm sorry this is so long, i just really don't know what to do.
thanks (link)
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Hey,
I've read your problem and god! isn't that just really tough and hard for you. I under stand what your going through and how you feel and i've answered several problems before similar to yours.
First of all, i know that when she does all that, you just get really disgusted about how so sweet she;s acting and you just can't stand her and feel like your about to strangle her or spit on her since she's almost dripping of sweetness.
But deep deep inside you, you also have to accept the fact that she's your sister, and that this is your family, and these are your neighbours and that you love them and have a special place for them in your heart,just like they have one for you in their hearts. They may act like your sister is much better than you and they may also treat her better than you, but again, inside them they love you both the same and they want whats best for each one of you.
And in their minds, just like your sister does alot of good things that impress others and makes them very fond of her, you have talents of your own and things that you probably do, that makes people give you attention too.
And believe me, i am saying all that from past experiences i have had,so don't worry and don't feel so upset ,just try to act natural and don't show anyone that your jealous or feeling down. and just try to show them that your happy for your sister, and that you don't really care if they act as if you are invisible. Ofcourse it is so mean, rude and unfair from them to treat you like that.
But you always have to have some faith ,
confidence and trust in yourself that you are a good person and that you have something special inside you and talents that make you better than her. And you don't have to be like your sister, because your sister is simply showing of ,and she's arrogant and obnoxious and too proud of herself and cares about no one but herself, and no offense meant ,but this is the truth, and this is what proves her actions.So don't waste your time feeling jealous about someone like her,just be your self, and pretend that you don;t have a sister, and if she wants to talk then she's welcome to do that, but you don't wnat anything else from her. And i am sure that you have friends and other people that you know who care about you and love you and think that you are the best and give you all the attention you want.
So if you need any other help or advice, and if you there any further problems, troubles ,worries or concerns, then please be free to contact me.
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