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Controlling Parents
16, Female
Last weekend I went to a party, I didn't drink because it was school the next day. I was walking home with my boyfriend and mum had called me and asked where I was. I told her i was almost home, she said that dad was on his way and he wasn't happy. I knew I would be in trouble, and dad would go off at Kieran for being with me.
Turns out instead of going off a Kieran he just left him, to walk home alone. I felt so bad. When we got home dad was yelling at screaming at me, so i just walked away, didn't talk to him for a week after that, it made mum and dad fight I hate doing that to them.
Why are my parents so much more protective than anyone else's?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Every parent is different than the other, but they all have the same intentions, they all think that they do this cause they are raising their children well and they all want their children to be the best, it just differs in the way they do it, and the rules they set, and what they allow and don't allow.
And believe it or not, some parents are more strict than yours, some don't even allow their children to date at a young age, or go to parties, or drink. And every child thinks their parents are too strict, even the ones who have it so easy. And sometimes even ,when you actually have it so easy, you complain that you have it too easy and that your parents don't give you protection at all or attention. So you are better than others and at the same time worse than others. You are something in between, and however, you should just be grateful, there are always the ups and downs.
And about your parents fighting, and especially if its because of you, i know how that must feel believe me, and it doesn't feel good, just try to do less of the things that make them upset.
And hey, parents always fight, even if their children are perfect, they always find a reason to fight. Just don't stop talking to your dad, on the contrary, talk to him and get closer to him and get on his good side, make him understand you more, make him trust you more by sharing things with him, and maybe then he'd be easier on you. And fill them in on what you do and where you go, I mean, did they even know that you were in that party? Maybe if you'd told them, and told them how you wouldn't drink cause you knew the right thing, they would've trusted you more and not worried about where you were or what you were doing.
They do this cause they are just worried, especially when they don't know where you are, imagine if something happened to you there, and they didn't know where you were, how would that help them deal with it. They have good intentions and they're just looking out for you. I know it sucks and their will always be fights about this, but try to accept it and adapt to it, and just tell yourself, that they don't do this to hurt you or be mean to you, but to look after you.
Hope i helped, if you need anything else, please be free to contact me. Best of luck!
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I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
There is an old saying that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. All parents worry about their children, some more than others. Every set of parents have different parenting styles and different parenting skills. None of this make one set of parent’s better parents than another set. What makes one set of parents better than another set is how their children behave when their parents are not around to supervise. How their children grow into adults is another measure of how one set of parents may be better than another.
One painful truth about life and children is that children will always see how far they can push their parents. The psychologists call this testing their limits, at some point a good parent will set a boundary and the child will learn that this is as far as they can go. At some future point as the child grows and matures the good parent will extend that boundary. This is all part of teaching a child how to be a good citizen and to obey the rules of society.
You went to a party where alcohol was served; you did not drink because it was a school night. You have set a boundary for yourself, which in one sense I commend you for. Had it not been a school night I believe you would have participated in drinking.
Setting boundaries is the job of a parent, to enforce those boundaries and to constantly reassess them and adjust them as the children mature and are capable of accepting more responsibility. If you believe your parents are being too strict with you them I suggest you stop and look at yourself first. Do you constantly fight your parents over the boundaries they have set? Do you do immature things? Do you do these things just to anger them? If the answer is yes then the problem is you and not your parents. You have not earned the trust they want to see in you to extend your boundaries.
You may not like what I have had to say, but I am being as straight forward as I can be. What you can do after you have looked inwardly is sit down with your parents and have a frank discussion with them. Start by thanking them for being good parents. Then ask them what they are looking for from you so they will be comfortable in extending your boundaries. Tell them part of your rebellion has been fostered by seeing your friends with more freedom then you have.
If your parents are the good people and parents I think they are they will talk with you and set new boundaries that will be yours to lose.
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Parents that get mad at you for going to a party where underage drinking is going on are pretty normal. :P Even if you didn't drink anything, you could still get busted for being there and of course your parents will be worried if they don't know anything about where you are.
Be happy that they care about you. Some of the other kids at that party have parents who don't care one way or another about their son/daughter. It sucks when your protective parents get mad, but at least they care whether you live or die.
And I'm not just saying this because I'm an old lady with kids of my own. xD I'm 17 and I've seen some seriously horrible parents. One friend of mine went to school while sick and puking to avoid his mom, who had punched him and broken his nose the week before! Trust me, protectiveness is a small price to pay for good parents.
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ohmygosh..
how old are you? is kieran a niec person
did youre parents allow it?
just tell them that youre old enough
and that you can take care of yourself
they just care about you
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